View Full Version : Strange, disturbing dreams
orange
Jan 6, 2006, 12:24 PM
Please tell me its normal to have weird ****ed up dreams when you're pregnant... I'm having all these dreams of blood and the baby being born dead and the baby screaming and reaching out to me, etc. Ugh. I had one last night that seemed to last the WHOLE night and it was really sick and disgusting. I had lots of nightmares before I was pregnant but nothing like these.
Fr_Chuck
Jan 6, 2006, 12:38 PM
Ok, that one does sort of rank right up there with top strange dreams but we all have dreams that bother us. Often they have issues with something that is on our mind or subconscience. But can deal with something we have watched on TV and the such also.
I had a strange one last night, I woke up 4 times and the same dream continued each time I went back to sleep.
But we all have them and they can distrub us in their reality.
orange
Jan 6, 2006, 12:49 PM
Thanks Fr Chuck! But is it because I'm pregnant? That's what I'm wondering. I've never this kind of dream before.
nymphetamine
Jan 6, 2006, 06:23 PM
Are you worried about the baby? Are you under a lot of stress?
orange
Jan 6, 2006, 06:46 PM
I wouldn't say I was under a lot of stress, but I am worried about a miscarriage. I have endometriosis and the doctors had told me I could never conceive. So in a way this kind of a miracle baby and I really don't want to lose it.
nymphetamine
Jan 6, 2006, 06:57 PM
And there you go. Stop worrying. The baby will be fine. I will pray for you. So there.
orange
Jan 7, 2006, 11:10 AM
Okay crankiebabie... thanks so much! :)
mrs.pennell
Jan 7, 2006, 07:19 PM
My sister is eight months pregnant and she has nightmares about losing her baby a lot too. Like you, she's having a "miracle baby" so it is probably related to all the stress.
orange
Jan 7, 2006, 08:29 PM
That's good to know... thanks very much! :)
cfablemaster
Jan 7, 2006, 09:25 PM
Pray to god that the baby turns out all right. And no matter what you do always say to yourself "he will be alright".(sigh) (thinking)"i wonder y i even bother no1 will comment or even pay attention to my posts"(thinking stops)
mrs.pennell
Jan 7, 2006, 10:47 PM
That's not true... I've read two of your posts in the last couple of minutes and I think that they are very heartfelt...
orange
Jan 8, 2006, 08:28 AM
pray to god that the baby turns out alright. and no matter wat u do always say to urself "he will be alright".(sigh) (thinking)"i wonder y i even bother no1 will comment or even pay attention to my posts"(thinking stops)
You've only been here for a few days, true? I didn't receive any of the boxed comments on my posts until I posted about 100 times or so, and I'd been active a month at least by that point. And as you notice from this thread, I haven't left anyone a boxed comment here. I've said "thanks for your help" to everyone but no comments. I don't really know how to explain when and why I or others leave one of those boxed comments, but I think it's when the answer really stands out from the others and strikes a cord with me, makes perfect sense, etc. And anyway the main reason to post here is not to get comments but to help people!
And for the record, your responses are good... there's nothing wrong with them. If people don't respond immediately, it means they either haven't seen the comment or they aren't online.
:D As you can see I left you a boxed comment just so that you have one. But really they aren't THAT important... I'm happy when people just respond to my posts, personally.
daehnolem
Jan 8, 2006, 08:52 PM
I've never been pregnant (but I'm currently trying to conceive :D), but I come from a very big family with lots of women. We all have crazy dreams anyway, but my sisters and my mom have had particularly weird dreams while pregnant. I'm not an expert, but if you're really anxious about something, it's bound to manifest itself in some way, I guess, as a way to relieve some of the stress from your subconscious. Unfortunately, when dreams are brought on by anxiety, rarely do they ever relieve any kind of stress. Mostly, it just intensifies your fears. It's common, even with a normal pregnancy, to have anxiety about the well being of the baby. As disturbing as your dreams are, given your situation, they're normal. Maybe you can do something that engages your mind before going to bed. Watch a movie or read a book. Do something that you can think about while falling asleep. Maybe you can trick your brain into being preoccupied with something else. But most of all, you have to calm your fears as much as you can. Stress can do terrible things to a pregnant body, as well as a non pregnant one. And don't stress out about being too stressed out either. Pet your dog or your cat and forget about everything else several times a day. It would be wise also to develop good relaxation techniques. I wish you the best, and I'm sure your baby will be healthy! My sister also struggled with reproductive issues before giving birth to her first child. Good luck!
-B
orange
Jan 8, 2006, 10:24 PM
Thanks so much daehnolem. It's good to hear that other women have had weird dreams too. I guess I am more stressed than I realized. You don't know my background, but the doctors had told me when I was 17 that I could never have children. So I never expected to have any. I never used "protection" with my fiancé for the same reason, haha. We were planning to adopt. Then just before the holidays I found out I was pregnant! Total shock. I'm almost 14 weeks now. I'm getting married on January 23 too, so this is a big few weeks for me! Thanks for sharing. :)
JoeCanada76
Jan 9, 2006, 03:26 AM
Dreams are influenced by hormones. Yes, your dreams are influenced by pregnancy and yes it is normal to have ****ed up dreams when you are pregnant. During pregnancy you will have wild dreams and wonder why your having them and get freaked out by some of them but please do not worry about them. The hormones are all going wild which intern does effect the chemicals in the brain which makes your dreams so real and sensitive right now. Just try not letting them bother you, do not dwell on them and remind yourself it is just a dream.
Joe
orange
Jan 9, 2006, 10:01 AM
Oh thanks Joe... I didn't realize that about the hormones! I'm glad that it's normal. :)
Myth
Jan 10, 2006, 07:21 AM
When I was pregnant with my youngest. *now three* I watched both of my girls get run over by a public bus that I was on. The bus driver wouldn't stop and I was screaming and hitting him. I could see people rushing to help my girls but I wasn't able to. I vaughly remember the bus driver saying something about having to stay on schedule and couldn't stop cause of one person... I woke up screaming and looking for my oldest to make sure she was OK... I was about seven months pregnant at the time. It's weird cause my youngest looks just like she did in my dream... I figured it was just the hormones acting up and I was starting to worry about when the baby would come. Just try and relax and think about when the baby gets there and not weather she'll make it or not.
DJ 'H'
Jan 10, 2006, 07:26 AM
It is just stress, and the fact you keep mulling over in the back of your mind - I don't want to lose my baby!
Try to relax and enjoy your pregnancy. The baby will be fine. Even more so, if you are not happy talk to your mid-wife about the dreams and your concerns, I am sure she will put you on the right track and lay your mind to rest!!
orange
Jan 10, 2006, 10:15 AM
Thanks Myth and DJ... actually I never thought of mentioning it to my midwife... good idea DJ! Thanks so much!
Chery
Jan 13, 2006, 03:45 PM
Please tell me its normal to have weird ****ed up dreams when you're pregnant... I'm having all these dreams of blood and the baby being born dead and the baby screaming and reaching out to me, etc. Ugh. I had one last night that seemed to last the WHOLE night and it was really sick and disgusting. I had lots of nightmares before I was pregnant but nothing like these.
Dear Orange, when I was pregnant I also had dreams, crazy ones, due to fear. Since I was born with a heart failure, I was told never to get pregnant and that it was going to be either me or the baby that would be lost - well my daughter is 29 and I'm still here! - As long as you stay away from dangerous chemicals that might harm the baby, and you stick to a good diet, exercise, and if you have to, get rest in the daytime and work a little at night and keep on rubbing the tummy and having good thoughts, also listening to nice music (which babies love), and light a scented candle now and then to get good vibes - all the positive things that you can think of, you should be OK. I hope you told the doctor about these nightmares and that you got reassurance that health and development-wise everything is OK, then you can believe the professionals. There is so much new technology now that you should not worry - that's negative for you and the baby, so keep that in mind and keep us posted. I certainly wish you all the best and send you lots of warm hugs.
Don't work too much, and I can wait till your baby is here for the project we talked about. You need to think about you and the baby first, customers and work later, OK?
http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/36/36_22_18.gif (http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001_ZN)Think positive. Dark blue candles are for serenity and white are for extra energy for the soul, try them, they can't hurt.
bizygurl
Jan 14, 2006, 07:34 AM
Hey Orange, I think it maybe due to the stress and worry that you are having about the baby and miscarrige. It is perfectly natural to have these dreams in times of stress and worry. Its how your subconcieus deals with these fears that your conscious mind can't, I actually read somewhere that even though dreams like thse can seem bothersome and may frighten you into thinking something is really wrong, its really just your mind letting go of all the stress your expirencing in your waking hours. I kind of looked at it as your body gives you abrek not only physically but mentally while your sleeping if you didn't you'd go crazy.
I know its easier said than done but try not to let what "could" happen with the baby bother you too much. As long as your doctor feels at this time that there is no real cause for concern then try to focus on the normal good things about carrying that little bundle of joy. I would also loook at finding things that are normal stress relievers for you. Like a bath, go for a walk, anything that will lessen the stress or worry about the baby. Ill pray for you too, Im sure the baby will be fine.:)
DJ 'H'
Jan 16, 2006, 03:08 AM
Thanks Myth and DJ... actually I never thought of mentioning it to my midwife... good idea DJ! Thanks so much!
No worries - any time :)
JoeCanada76
Jan 16, 2006, 10:13 AM
I still believe it is very normal to have very weird and scary dreams during pregnancy I heard it is very common because of the changes in hormones.
DJ 'H'
Jan 16, 2006, 10:22 AM
I still believe it is very normal to have very wierd and scary dreams during pregnancy I heard it is very common because of the changes in hormones.
Learn something new everyday :)
Chery
Jan 16, 2006, 04:14 PM
Learn something new everyday :)A few decades ago, the main worry was Sudden Infant Death and we worried about that. Now, there is worldwide terrorism, inflation, unemployment, flus and viruses of all types and it's only natural that when you're expecting a new family member, you start worrying about it's future and the way things might be for them while growing up. There just is so much uncertainty now that it is normal and natural for any mother, anywhere to worry. I'm going to become a grandmother and am worried sick about the poor baby's future, but also excited, even though there is nothing I can do about it one way or the other - we all just have to hope for the best. Can you imagine what women in war-zones thought while pregnant? It's rough out there, but we can't stop having children or the human race will become extinct - and this certainly will not help either. The best thing to do is to admit your fears, let them out and talk about them and above all try not to be stressed out every day. Wishing every expecting mom the best and hope all of our future children have a chance.
Chery
orange
Jan 22, 2006, 11:38 AM
Chery, DJ, bizygirl, Jesushelper, Myth and everyone else... thanks so much for all your replies and advice. I never imagined I would get so many responses to this question! Luckily the dreams have stopped, perhaps because my wedding is tomorrow and I have been concentrating on that lately... who knows. Anyway as I am now getting out of the really *dangerous* time for having a miscarriage, I'm feeling a lot less nervous. And Jesushelper the hormone thing is interesting to know... thanks. I will have to do some research on that after I get back from my honeymoon! :)
I'm answering posts and sending a few PMs today, and then I'll likely be gone again for a couple of weeks. We are taking the laptop with internet access on our honeymoon, but mostly just for sending photos... I hope I won't be on here much!! :D
Anyway take care guys and thanks again!
bizygurl
Jan 22, 2006, 12:52 PM
Orange first I want to wish you good luck on your wedding. Im very happy for you. We will miss you for a few weeks, but you'll come back as a married woman and break all the single men's hearts here on the bored,lol!!
Im so happy that you made it through the crucial part in the pregnancy all woman give a little prayer and a sigh of relief when that happens. NOw you get to look forward to feeling the baby kicking (that was always my favorite part about being pregnant) and maybe with less enthusiasm, growing bigger and swollen ankles,lol! Good luck sweetie, Ill be thinking about you.
orange
Jan 22, 2006, 01:05 PM
Thanks so much bizygurl... I am very happy too and looking forward to a good pregnancy. My biological mother's pregnancy with me was very easy apparently, so I hope some genetics comes into play! I haven't had any morning sickness or food cravings yet, just have been feeling a bit emotional. But that could be related to a lot of things. I start seeing my midwife on a regular basis after the honeymoon and I'm really going to make use of her as far as asking for advice, etc. I see my doctor regularly too of course, but the midwife has a lot more time for me.
I have to share a sad but somewhat hopeful story with you... a friend of mine was 6 months pregnant, first baby after trying so hard to conceive... and a couple of weeks back she became very ill with pre-emclampsia and was rushed to hospital. The doctors had to remove the baby at once! My friend was in hysterics. Anyway her son survived, and he is only 2 pounds, 7 ounces. He is in an incubator of course, and will likely be there for a long time, but he's still alive, so that's quite a miracle. I wish my friend all the best and would appreciate everyone's thoughts and prayers for the health of her tiny son. :)
bizygurl
Jan 22, 2006, 01:22 PM
Of course Ill keep your friend and her family in my prayers. How scarey that can be. If its any consolation to your friend, my second daughter was born at 30 weeks gestation and weighed in at only 3lbs. It was the most horrible thing to date that I had ver gone through. My due date was September 12th in 2002 and she was born July 9th. I had a leep done a year before I had gotten pregnat(surgery on my cervix) which ende up making my cervix "incompatant) as they called it. But never told me to not have another child. Anyway on July 4th of 2002 my water broke at a babeque and I ende up having her Five days later in the hospital. They determined that my cervix wasn't strong enough to carry another pregnancy to term. But they never told me that, if I had known I woulf have wanted to be put on bed rest. It was crazy. My daughter stayed until the end of August when she was six pounds. She didn't have too mcuh trouble in the hospital but had a sever lung infection whaen she was born. Now she's three and a half and the only thing that she is having trouble with is her speech and social development. She maybe three but has the mentallity of a two year old which is normal. But she already is doing much better. Im sure your friend's doctor had told her that her son will have some delays, and they aren't that big of a deal. They do catch up. But other than that she is a happy healthy kid. And if delays were the only thing to worry about then I find myself blessed.
Im sure your friend's baby will do just fine. They are small and fragile but man are they tough. Let me know how everything goes with her baby.
orange
Jan 22, 2006, 01:24 PM
Oh that's great bizygurl. I'll let my friend know how well your daughter is doing. :)
bizygurl
Jan 22, 2006, 01:28 PM
Im glad that you will tell her. When this happened to me it was such a scarey time, because you really don't know what to expect, but I found that when other parents told me what they have been through it made me feel much better. And let your friend know that if her son does expirence any delays in any area of his development, there are plenty of programs that will work with her and her son in order to give him the best start possible. Hope everything works out.
Chery
Jan 22, 2006, 02:21 PM
Chery, DJ, bizygirl, Jesushelper, Myth and everyone else... thanks so much for all your replies and advice. I never imagined I would get so many responses to this question! Luckily the dreams have stopped, perhaps because my wedding is tomorrow and I have been concentrating on that lately... who knows. Anyways as I am now getting out of the really *dangerous* time for having a miscarriage, I'm feeling a lot less nervous. And Jesushelper the hormone thing is interesting to know... thanks. I will have to do some research on that after I get back from my honeymoon! :)
I'm answering posts and sending a few PMs today, and then I'll likely be gone again for a couple of weeks. We are taking the laptop with internet access on our honeymoon, but mostly just for sending photos... I hope I won't be on here much!!! :D
Anyways take care guys and thanks again!
http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/36/36_3_28.gif (http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001_ZN) Congrats, and by all means enjoy your honeymoon - I'm sure we will all understand if we don't hear from you for a while!
Chery
Jan 22, 2006, 02:36 PM
Thanks so much bizygurl... I am very happy too and looking forward to a good pregnancy. My biological mother's pregnancy with me was very easy apparently, so I hope some genetics comes into play! I haven't had any morning sickness or food cravings yet, just have been feeling a bit emotional. But that could be related to a lot of things. I start seeing my midwife on a regular basis after the honeymoon and I'm really going to make use of her as far as asking for advice, etc. I see my doctor regularly too of course, but the midwife has a lot more time for me.
I have to share a sad but somewhat hopeful story with you... a friend of mine was 6 months pregnant, first baby after trying so hard to conceive... and a couple of weeks back she became very ill with pre-emclampsia and was rushed to hospital. The doctors had to remove the baby at once! My friend was in hysterics. Anyways her son survived, and he is only 2 pounds, 7 ounces. He is in an incubator of course, and will likely be there for a long time, but he's still alive, so that's quite a miracle. I wish my friend all the best and would appreciate everyone's thoughts and prayers for the health of her tiny son. :)
Thank goodness that premies have a better chance in the world now due to the modern technology available. Even though military doctors usually take care of soldiers during war-time, a lot of them are responsible for these new techniques and a few military NICUs have the best survival rate in the world. So, if you ladies ever get a doctor that retired from the military, you can be certain that you are in good hands. Some of these people are even famous in the private sectors throughout the US now and I'm proud to know most of them.
As a matter of interest the first OB/GYN doctor I worked with and for was a Captain in Japan and brought my brothers into the world. Years later, he was a Colonel, chief of the clinic and wrote several books on new techniques that kept ladies from having early labor. He and his wife were not able to have any children of their own, but they adopted five children too. My thoughts are also with your friend and her baby - please pass on our best wishes.
orange
Feb 1, 2006, 11:29 AM
Oh thanks Chery... I didn't realize you had also replied! Then again, I've been away on my honeymoon... I am still on it, sort of. Alex is sick, and he doesn't want to see me until he's better, since I'm pregnant and he's afraid he'll give me his flu. So he's staying in a hotel room by himself, and I am staying with my adoptive parents. I'm having a great time though LOL. They live a block from the ocean and my "dad" and I go for walks every day, I sketch and he takes photographs. The weather is great 8 degrees Celsius, which is about 46 fahrenheit, which is phenomenal for Canada! I'm on Vancouver Island. Anyway I hope Alex gets better soon because we were going to Seattle! Well and also I just want to be with him again! :p
I have a bit of an update on little Aidan (that's his name)... he's still in the ICU obviously, but he has gained some weight and my friend has been able to hold him. He seems to be doing as well as can be expected. Thanks for all your encouragement. My friend says thanks too... gave her the link to the thread so she could read it. I see she hasn't replied at all, but she's quite computer illiterate LOL. Anyway she appreciates the responses, as do I.
bizygurl
Feb 1, 2006, 12:59 PM
Im so happy that "Aiden" is doiing well. I kneww he would. Im glad your friend found some comfort and encouragement in the thread. Tell her good luck and hang in there. You too, Orange.
Chery
Feb 3, 2006, 09:20 AM
You get the Vitamins and I'll send the good vibes so that you and Alex can get together again soon. Now, go back and enjoy yourself - that's an order!
Still having fingers crossed for Aiden.
Love, Chery
orange
Feb 3, 2006, 11:02 AM
Thanks! Alex is still a bit sick, but we are planning on getting together again on Sunday. That will leave us only 4 more days left of our honeymoon, but Alex is going to see if he can extend his leave slightly. Cross your fingers! :D
Myth
Feb 3, 2006, 08:37 PM
Flu runs rampid in the pacific northwest this time of year. I used to live in Oregon smack dab in the middle of the valley. The indians that were indiginous to that area called it the valley of sickness because of the flus in the winter and the hayfever in the spring and fall... everything gets trapped in the valley. Good luck and good vibes for little "aiden". I've seen babies thrive that we're much worse of than he is. They may be little but sometimes their wills are stronger than ours
orange
Feb 3, 2006, 08:55 PM
The valley of sickness?? Ewwww... Remind me not to ask Alex to take me to Oregon next week. Yeeesh LOL.
Thanks for the wishes for Aidan. It seems he's doing very well now! :)
Myth
Feb 3, 2006, 09:52 PM
Lol... I would rather have you go... it's so beautiful there. I miss the hiking a lot... not much hiking in Tennessee... lol. I think you would probably like it...
orange
Feb 3, 2006, 10:06 PM
Actually yeah if it's anything like Northern California, I think I would probably love it. I'm sucker for nature, big trees, the ocean, etc... maybe I'll ask him to take me there after all. :) Just don't want to get sick!
Chery
Feb 5, 2006, 02:03 AM
Hi girls, I know this is not the right thread, but I wanted to share this with the two of you (orange and myth)!
This was done on 2 Feb and you can see the cute little 'footzers' already.
A happy grandma who wanted to share...
orange
Feb 5, 2006, 10:31 AM
Cool! Thanks for sharing, Chery! Actually I have one too, maybe I should put it up at some point. :)
Myth
Feb 5, 2006, 10:07 PM
That's beautiful chery. My first dr apt is this wed. I'm tired of waiting. But since I have to work well the time will fly. As for the dreams well they do get worse and highly graphic during pregnant. I think that you might be afraid of miscarriage by the sounds of it. Though I don't truly know. These type of dreams are very normal however. It's our bodies way of dealing with the stress we don't voice to anyone because we're afraid of the criticism. I don't me to myself... I just realised that's what it sounded like... lol... I hope this helps... orange you should tell him that you want to go to the depo bay aquariam... that's where keiko lived when he was in Oregon.(the orca) tell him to drive u.s. 101 all the way down and you'll stay coast side the whole time and it's a beautiful drive without even entering the valley. Very senic
bizygurl
Feb 6, 2006, 04:59 AM
How wonderful chery, That was always one of my favorite parts about pregancy, the sonogram pictures. It always made it a little more real for me. You must have double the excitement. Thanks for sharing it with us
orange
Feb 6, 2006, 12:02 PM
Well, we are back home, early! Alex still wasn't getting much better with his flu, and I think I have a sinus infection now too, so we came home. I'm not too disappointed though. We can go on another trip in a few months. And anyway I'm excited, because we are buying a house! I'm driving Alex crazy because I'm already looking through the MLS listings online, haha, and I keep telling him all the details of each house in our price range, while he's trying to rest. I'm practically manic about it. Maybe it's because I've never had my own house before... even as a kid I was always either in foster care or my biological mom and I were renting. And anyway I want to start decorating the baby's room... and the rest of the new house, too. So it's all very exciting... my VERY OWN PLACE! Woooo!
Myth I saved the info you gave me about the aquarium and how to get there, etc. It sounds really nice. Hopefully on our next trip we can go there. Alex is saying possibly late April or early May. I imagine it's beautiful then. :)
cazed23
Feb 8, 2006, 08:27 AM
When you dream it does tend to be about the last thing you thought about or fears and concerns you may have. I had my first last year and I did have strange dreams about the baby (not quite as gory as yours) I still have my pregnancy book and under the sleep section it reads... "Some women have strange dreams or nightmares about the baby or the birth, this is quite normal due to the increasing hormonal embalance. Talking about them will help you."
So it may seem horrible but your normal and it should calm down once those hormones sort themselves out.
Good luck and Take care of yourself.
orange
Feb 8, 2006, 01:42 PM
Thanks cazed! Actually I don't have the dreams anymore... this thread, although very active, is over a month old now. I think I am out of the stage of worrying about miscarrying, since I'm now past the really "dangerous" stage in the pregnancy, and that's why the dreams have ceased. Plus what you said about hormones is likely true too. My body has adjusted somewhat to the pregnancy and I'm feeling a lot better overall. :)
Chery
Feb 11, 2006, 08:50 AM
Well, we are back home, early! Alex still wasn't getting much better with his flu, and I think I have a sinus infection now too, so we came home. I'm not too disappointed though. We can go on another trip in a few months. And anyways I'm excited, because we are buying a house! I'm driving Alex crazy because I'm already looking through the MLS listings online, haha, and I keep telling him all the details of each house in our price range, while he's trying to rest. I'm practically manic about it. Maybe it's because I've never had my own house before... even as a kid I was always either in foster care or my biological mom and I were renting. And anyways I want to start decorating the baby's room... and the rest of the new house, too. So it's all very exciting... my VERY OWN PLACE!! Woooo!!
Myth I saved the info you gave me about the aquarium and how to get there, etc. It sounds really nice. Hopefully on our next trip we can go there. Alex is saying possibly late April or early May. I imagine it's beautiful then. :) Hi dear, welcome back. If your sinuses are not getting better yet, try horseraddish. A spoonful will clear them and make your eyes tear, but it's safer than some of the medications they have out there. I'ts worked for me and my brother who has hayfever, for years and at first he didn't believe me, but now he swears by it. The sprays and drops only decrease your mucous lining and you don't want that. Good luck and good health to all of you. And happy house-hunting! Send us a pic once you've made your choice.
http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/15/15_9_16.gif (http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001_ZN)
orange
Feb 11, 2006, 11:49 AM
OH thanks so much about the horseradish tip, Chery! I had posted a question about natural cures for sinus infections in the Alternative Medicine forum a few days back and never got a response! I will definitely try that... and I love red horseradish! If I eat that for my sinuses it can be Passover all year long! :)
And yes great idea about posting the house... will do! AND I also have to put up one of my sonogram pics too. I love that this thread has turned into picture and news sharing... keep sharing about your daughter, too! :)
Chery
Feb 16, 2006, 03:00 PM
Sure will dear, and hope the horseradish works for you. The jerk changed his mind and wants out of the relationship, after it was too late to abort (but she would not have done that anyway). So, now that I'm back out of the hospital, and getting better, we are looking for a new place to live, so that I can take care of her and the baby and let her continue with her career. One positive thing about Germany is that the state will financially support her with the baby and also collect child support no matter where he is for at least eight years. I raised her myself too, so I'm sure we'll do just fine somehow.
I will continue to post the sonograms and hope to see one of your's soon. It's hard to find a place when you have pets around where we live, and this past week after coming home from the hospital, was more stressfull due to the shock my daughter went through - it was more like a stab in the heart - but she's recovering now and the doctor and I are making sure that she is not going to give up. There is a lot of crying and regrets at present, but that soon will pass and then life must go on.
Tell Alex that I hope his flu is better and that you have time to look forward to a nice springtime.
We will certainly do our best, and you know that I will probably use you as a sounding board for my woes and hope you'll have that 'internet shoulder' available for me.
Thanks dear,
Love, Chery
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orange
Feb 17, 2006, 10:36 AM
Oh I didn't know you were in the hospital, Chery! Was that recent? Are you okay? Is that why I haven't seen you online much? Sorry for all the questions, LOL.
So sorry to hear about the situation with your daughter and her boyfriend. That is really tough... I can't imagine having to deal with a break up on top of everything else right now. It's good that she has you, though, and that the state will help with the child. That's really fortunate! I hope you find a good place to live! How many pets do you have? We have one dog and one cat, and I don't think I could stand anymore at this point, especially with the baby coming soon, haha! I have to do most of the care of the animals, as Alex is away for long hours. I have to give him credit though, he does help out when he's here, which actually really surprises (but pleases!) me!
The horseradish is really working! I'm feeling a lot better! The sinus tries to come back, but then I just take more horseradish and it goes away again! :) Alex is feeling better too, at least physically. Mentally he is annoyed because he forgot to plug in the car yesterday (plugging in the car is something you REALLY need to do in Canada in the winter, or else the car dies), and it wouldn't start, and in spite of getting a boost this morning it still won't start, so now we're thinking we may need a new car. This beast is fairly old. We've had extremely cold weather the last couple of days... it went down to
-46 last night, with the wind chill! I've been hiding inside, but poor Alex has to go to work, so he's been taking a cab.
On the upside, we found a house! It's small, only 2 bedrooms, but it's good enough for now, within our budget, and it's in very nice shape, has all hardwood floors, new paint and roof, and central air conditioning for summer, and a beautiful large yard. I've posted the realtor's summer pic of it for you to look at. We take possession March 15, so there's more moving for us in the near future!
Anyway keep letting me know how things are going, I hope you find a nice place to live soon! :)
Chery
Feb 22, 2006, 08:20 AM
Oh, Orange, that house is so cute! I'm so excited for you and know that you will have fun decorating and getting it ready for the baby. I remember having to plug the car in to keep it warm in Alaska.
My daughter is feeling better as she was with me for a week and we just had to face a lot of what if's and alternatives and had long talks. She is getting a lot of support from her boss and fellow workers too, and she is back at work enjoying it.
It may sound selfish, but I'm glad that we are going to live together again and can't wait to take care of my grandchild when it gets here, due on 7 August. We will make it and have friends that will help us both move. We each have a cat, I posted Simba's picture and my cat Larry is still my avatar. They are our main men and so loving that we are not willing to give them up, so we might have to take a place we don't really want at first, but will keep on looking and might move again after the baby is here. Right now, Jaime needs a steady routine at home so that she can relax after work and not need to keep house too - that's where I'll come in. And she has said it's safer to have me take care of the baby than a stranger - too many wierdos out there these days.
Medically, I'm doing as well as can be, thanks for asking. My heart did not like the past week's stress much though, but it's OK and I'm on good medications. For some reason, now that I have a purpose again, I seem to be taking better care of myself and feeling the change and anticipation.
We sure will keep in touch and am glad that Alex is healthier too.
Take care and take it slow - don't lift heavy stuff and just enjoy!
Love, Chery
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orange
Mar 4, 2006, 10:24 AM
Wow, Chery, I'm impressed that you actually knew what plugging in the car was, haha! Usually I have to go into a rather longish explanation.
I'm glad things are a little better for you and your daughter. I didn't notice this post until today, but you posted it a while back, so I'm hoping that the two of you have already found a place to live. And yes a baby on the way is a really great incentive to live healthier and take care of yourself... I know it's been that way for me! Please keep me informed as to how things are going.
Alex and I are doing great. We are busy getting ready for the move. We'll also need to buy some furniture after we move in, so that will be exciting. And yeah don't worry, I'm not moving anything heavy... Alex, his dad, and the movers will be doing all of that!
Take care!
Chery
Mar 5, 2006, 09:06 AM
Hi orange. To make a long story short - she's staying with him, he talked her into it, and does seem serious about it. He has a few problems he needs to tackle and I hope they work out.
She is aware though, that a breakup in the future is possible and is armed against it. She feels that if it works, fine - and if not, she'll go on with her life as many other women are forced to. She does have a level head on her shoulder and I do trust her choices.
It just hurts me that I now will be alone again, and this is what I hate most, but will have to tolerate no matter what comes along.
I will survive this and as long as my 'baby' and I are close and I'm still part of her life, I cannot ask for more. It did cost me a lot of mental and physical energy and I don't think I can go a second round - I told her this and she told me she has to fight her own battles and that she had a good teacher in me.
Nevertheless, it's hard to be alone - loneliness is not one of my fun things in life, but as I said, I'll survive- always have somehow.
Hope all is well with you and yours and an sure that we will keep each other posted.
Lots of love, and thanks for your wishes for our well-being.
Love,
Chery
orange
Mar 5, 2006, 10:25 AM
Oh I'm very sorry to hear that, Chery. I knew you were looking forward to living with your daughter and the baby. I hope where you're living now is not too far away so that you will be able to visit whenever you want.
Lonliness is a really hard thing to deal with. You can always come on here of course, but it would be nice if you could be face to face with people. Do have friends, other family, a club or a support group of some kind? I feel really bad for you and I hate to think you might be really lonely, especially considering all the great help you've offered people on the board.
Take care and keep me updated!
Chery
Mar 5, 2006, 12:12 PM
Unfortunately, with my disability, it's hard for me to leave the house without someone being with me and I don't drive anymore. My daughter lives in the next town, and she does come visit and takes me to her place, but I really don't want to infringe in 'his' space right now, so there you go.
My b/f lives upstairs, but it's cooled off due to my care and concern over my daughter and not wanting to spend time with him because of the energy drain lately - so, you see, typically he want's to be number one, and I'm not ready to act as if nothing has happened and go into the same routine and rut I was planing to get out of in the first place.
I need a purpose, and that was taken from me, so now I need to gather myself some new energy to take care of ME first.
Thanks so much for caring, and I know that you are part of a great family that I can turn to - this conforts me a lot.
Hope you enjoy furniture hunting as much as I did. It was so much fun just thinking of all the decorations and quilts that I could make while waiting for my baby. Now, I need to unpack my hobbie stuff and start thinking of what to make for my grandchild - that's something at least.
Again, wishing you all the best, and lots of fun!
orange
Mar 8, 2006, 10:25 AM
It's a good point, to take care of yourself first! Still, I hope to you get to see lots of your daughter and the baby when it comes. And hopefully you and your boyfriend can get back together a bit, if you want to, that is. Keep me updated either way, I'm always interested!
We have just a week now until our move. Everything's been completed except buying the furniture. We're probably going to go out looking for the mjor pieces we need this weekend, and then have the stores deliver them the same day as the move. It's going to be really hectic!
Anyway, take care and keep in touch!
orange
Mar 18, 2006, 12:54 PM
Well, speaking of the move, a lot has gone down since then, so we are not moving to that cute little house as was originally planned. I'm kind of sad because I really liked that house, but it's just too small. When we fly back home tonight, we are going back to my adoptive parents' large house (they are still away until May 1), and then quickly looking for a new bigger house to move into. The chaos never stops!
Chery
Mar 18, 2006, 02:00 PM
Dear, just make sure that you don't stress yourself out. Don't be too proud to get help if you need it as you are in a delicate condition and I don't want anything happening to you. Everything will eventually fall into place, and you'll be just as happy in another home - it's the individuals in it that make a home what it is.
When I come back, I plan on renovating this place to change it so that it will not make me think of the bad and sad days here - and I'll make it OK, with my cat Larry and my friends who will come to visit.
I do have friends, but they have lives to live and the nights get bad, that's why I'm on the net most of the time.
I do plan on breaking with my b/f - he's too stressfull for me and I want some peace and joy with my daughter and her baby. I have not told him yet - will when I get back - then I'll move my stuff out of his place and tell him we will have to keep it on a friendship basis, or not at all anymore. The situation is a little complicated - my daughter is still married to his son, so we are kind of related by marriage, and his son also lives in this house now. He's supportive of me (the son) and will also help me with the renovation of the place that I rent from him. So, you see, it's kind of a 'family situation' and makes it hard to be angry and aggressive - which I should have been for months now, but I'll manage - especially after a break in the hospital. My son-in-law is even taking care of my cat while I'm in hospital, and checking my mail and bringing it to me.
So, remember to relax and let Alex do most of the stressfull stuff, and you just take care of the kids and yourself.
Will contact you when I get back, until then, lot of love and hugs!
Chery
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Myth
Mar 18, 2006, 09:44 PM
You know it's been soooo long and so much has happened on this thread now, but I guess they can still be called strange dream right? Lol. Chery even though your daughter isn't going to live with you that may all change in the blink of an eye. She may even decide not to wait for that blink. Until then we're here awaiting our "online mom" to knock some sense into us from time to time. I can't wait to tell you all that is happening while your gone for your sabatical. I don't think that it will only be me either. And on those late nights when you need someone well just remember we're here for you and we need you too.
And as for you chava... lol... keep dreaming about that house. Everything happens for a reason. You didn't really want to start a growth chart of the family on one of the walls in the kitchen just to have to move again in a few years as the family grows did you? As it is with a bigger house and a bigger dream it might be tough for a little while but you know all good things come to those who wait... on the other hand what's life if not for living.
I think we all need a purpose in life weither it be our children our significant others or our work. I say give it all a spot and a priority then you'll never run out of purposes. Always remember though without oneself one can't have a purpose and we need to take care of ourselves before we can care for anything else. Best wishes to the both of you. And as always keep us informed.
orange
Mar 19, 2006, 11:35 AM
You know it's been soooo long and so much has happened on this thread now, but I guess they can still be called strange dream right? Lol.
Yeah I can't believe how long this thread has lasted. It started as a simple question on my part, and I haven't had those weird dreams for quite a while now. :p
And as for you chava... lol... keep dreaming about that house.
Well it's not so bad, we will be getting another house, and a bigger one too, so I guess I should be happy. The insane part is, what I really liked about the little house is that it was yellow... I love yellow and I would live in a shack by the railway tracks as long as it was yellow LOL. I guess I will have to paint our new house yellow, once we find it!
I think we all need a purpose in life weither it be our children our significant others or our work. I say give it all a spot and a priority then you'll never run out of purposes. Always remember though without oneself one can't have a purpose and we need to take care of ourselves before we can care for anything else. Best wishes to the both of you. And as always keep us informed.
Thanks, that's very good advice. I never thought a year ago that my purpose (for now at least) would be mother and zookeeper. But that's all right. So far I feel pretty happy about it.
Dear, just make sure that you don't stress yourself out. Don't be too proud to get help if you need it as you are in a delicate condition and I don't want anything happening to you. Everything will eventually fall into place, and you'll be just as happy in another home - it's the individuals in it that make a home what it is.
Thanks Chery. I am trying to relax. Luckily I have a wonderful husband, who does things for me without my even having to ask (unlike a lot of my friends who have lazy husbands / boyfriends!). This morning he made breakfast for all of us, took the kids out tobagganing for the afternoon so I can rest, and is picking up take out for supper as well. I can't ask for anything more than that!
Once again, good luck with the hospital stay. Myth is right, things could change very quickly with your daughter. The situation with your ex sounds very complicated and confusing, so I agree it might be best to completely end it. You don't need the extra stress. Take care, I'm looking forward to hearing from you when you're back home again!
NeedKarma
Mar 19, 2006, 11:59 AM
Thanks Chery. I am trying to relax. Luckily I have a wonderful husband, who does things for me without my even having to ask (unlike a lot of my friends who have lazy husbands / boyfriends!). This morning he made breakfast for all of us, took the kids out tobagganing for the afternoon so I can rest, and is picking up take out for supper as well. I can't ask for anything more than that!
You'd better cherish that man! :D
Just wanted to pipe in because the wife that she had weird dreams too for both pregnancies. You're normal - in case you wanted to know. :)
Chery
Mar 19, 2006, 12:31 PM
Once again, good luck with the hospital stay. Myth is right, things could change very quickly with your daughter. The situation with your ex sounds very complicated and confusing, so I agree it might be best to completely end it. You don't need the extra stress. Take care, I'm looking forward to hearing from you when you're back home again!
You know it's been soooo long and so much has happened on this thread now, but I guess they can still be called strange dream right? Lol. Chery even though your daughter isn't going to live with you that may all change in the blink of an eye. She may even decide not to wait for that blink. Until then we're here awaiting our "online mom" to knock some sense into us from time to time. I can't wait to tell you all that is happening while your gone for your sabatical. I don't think that it will only be me either. And on those late nights when you need someone well just remember we're here for you and we need you too.
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Thanks, both of you! I will keep you posted and I'm sure things will change for the better - I'm still the optimist, just very drained - health and energy-wise, so I really need to re cooperate.
aqua@home
Mar 23, 2006, 02:12 PM
Pregnancy, hormones, anxiety, etc. can do some pretty strange things to us. I believe this includes our subconsious. I wouldn't be alarmed and I do believe this is normal. I would try to confront any anxieties or worries you might have and try to enjoy your pregnancy as much as possible. However, I know saying that to a pregnant person is like saying don't eat to a hungry person. I am not an expert but I am a mother of 5 who has read everyword written from trying to conceive to birth. Good luck.
Cgirl
Mar 23, 2006, 03:23 PM
I too had bad, crazy dreams when I was pregnant, like leaving the baby in his car seat on top of the car and driving away, or having a really ugly monster baby, or having a baby that came out as a toddler, hehehe! It's perfectly normal, dreams are funny like that sometimes. You are probably just having normal worries that every mother has before giving birth. Just try not to read anything into those dreams, they are just distorted thoughts running through your sub-conc.
orange
Mar 24, 2006, 02:00 AM
Thanks so much aqua and cgirl. It's nice to hear from even more people that I'm normal. I'm actually not having the dreams anymore... they were worst during my first trimester, but they subsided shortly after I entered my second.
Actually I haven't been thinking about my pregnancy and my baby boy much at all during the last couple of weeks, with everything else going on. I feel kind of guilty about that... but the past couple of weeks have been extremely stressful. Oh well I am thinking about him again now, I'm due mid-June so it's getting fairly close now. Thanks for all the reassurance. :)
standingpretty
Jun 29, 2010, 11:09 PM
Please tell me its normal to have weird ****ed up dreams when you're pregnant... I'm having all these dreams of blood and the baby being born dead and the baby screaming and reaching out to me, etc. Ugh. I had one last night that seemed to last the WHOLE night and it was really sick and disgusting. I had lots of nightmares before I was pregnant but nothing like these.
It sounds to me that you are overly worried and need to relax. I think things will go well for you if you just calm down, and try to meditate throughout the day. Hope this helps.