Hello Everybody,

I'm a 21 year old male living in cape town south africa. I moved here a year and a half ago along with my friend and his girlfriend to find work in the big city. We did and we are all in the process of making a better future for all of us.

The problem is that I am getting lonelier by the day seeing as I have no family down here and that I constantly have to watch a happy couple lovey duffy the whole day. I don't have a problem with having too little friends (I'm a bit of a loner to start with), I have a problem of wanting to commit to a relationship again but being to scared.

I have never had much of a problem with self esteem or anything of the sort when it comes to dating but recently things have changed. (Picking up good looking woman was never a problem for me in the past.) I haven't been in a relationship for a while because of hurtful ones in the past. I find myself constantly using work and studies as an excuse not to be in a relationship.

The first problem that I have is that I drive a scooter. I don't have a drivers license and I don't own a car. Let's face it, woman want guys that have cars to take them on dates etc. etc. This is not great for first impressions. I wasn't born into a rich family and I have had to pay my own way to be where I am now and currently I can only afford a scooter to get to work and back.

I know that I'm not bad looking, just an average guy I suppose and I'm sensitive. I'm a poet, writer and I love doing romantic things for the woman in my life. The problem with those things are that most woman my age are either shallow or are into guys that are macho and all touch. I'm not exactly a timber man. What can I do to find somebody that would accept me for who I am and love me for what I am?

You're young and impatient as most young people are. Give it a little time. Do you have say, a dog to walk around the neighborhood? That is a great way to meet girls that are in your general neighborhood. This way you can meet somebody in a more realistic setting than say a bar scene where there is nothing but trouble awaiting you. Also when you do your laundry at the laundromat, try striking up a converation with a young lady doing her wash. Nothing is more boring than doing wash at a laundromat and if you strike up a conversation you have a good reason to do so.

Both awesome answers but unfortunately I life in a loft apartment so no dogs around here and I own a wash machine. I get what your saying though. There are plenty of ways that I can try to meet a nice girl but my biggest problem I guess is fear. Please refer back to my last two paragraphs as to what is stopping me from getting into a relationship.