I'm really confused. I broke up with me ex because we just didn't want to be in a relationship - well he didn't which he told me from the beginning but then gave it a shot anyway - and then I realized that I wanted to do my own thing too. I was mad at the time and he kind of too. After a month and a half he started calling/texting (apparently drunk) telling me how much he messed up/he missed me, etc. I wrote it off. Eventually he made a sober effort and we talked and I think we realized how much we missed each other. After that we started hanging and it led to us having sex. Now we have sex almost every time that we see each other. We have good sexual chemistry. I don't know if he's just using me - he doesn't want a relationship but I don't think I really do either. It's not about seeing other people for us, more like just not being responsible to anyone. Sometimes I worry I'm used, but I'm just insecure at times. We still hang out around our best friends and (especially when loosened up be drinking a little) we're affectionate in public. We also talk almost daily even if it's a 5 minute phone call. I think this is because he knows I fear being used. I think we really care about each other but my intuition is up against my fear of being wrong.

he doesn't want a relationship but I don't think I really do either. It's not about seeing other people for us, more like just not being responsible to anyone. Sometimes I worry I'm used,


I once heard of a girl who expressed her feelings about a relationship this way...

"I know he was using me, but I was using him too...so we both got what we wanted."

If that fits, then you know it... and you shouldn't expect more. If you want a relationship where you can reasonably expect more, then you may have to make some decisions, and do a lot of talking with your partner to find out if you both have the same expectations.