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View Full Version : New neighbor driving me crazy! Desperate!


cwmonster
Jan 10, 2008, 03:53 PM
My fiancée and I just moved into a new apartment that we absolutely love. We like the landlord, the house, the neighborhood, everything except for our upstairs neighbor. It seems like since they day we moved in, she has been doing nothing but complaining about her "issue of the day".
It started with the 2 dogs. The landlord was weary of allowing them to begin with but agreed and said that he would allow an adjustment period for them in the way of barking, etc. They're good dogs but the new house equals new noises that they do bark at for a short period. I feel, and so does the landlord, that once they get accustomed to them, they will grow bored and stop responding to them. In the meantime, we are trying everything possible and have spent quite a few dollars at the pet store trying to fix the problem. (toys, extra walks, bark collars, "calming" tablets, the list goes on.) We explained this to her and apologized for any inconvenience and reassured her that we are doing everything possible. I gave her my cell phone number & she has not stopped using it since. She calls or leaves a note on the door within 15 minutes of any noise from them and has even called the landlord. Mind you, all of these have occurred no later than 6:30 at night nor have they gone on for more than an hours time.
Her latest, is that they dogs cannot go to the bathroom in the yard. We explained that we clean it up every time. However, this bothers her because she says her 14 year old daughter plays in the yard. The landlord never indicated this was a no-no and only said that we must clean up after them. Which, again, we do diligently.
The point is she seems to have an issue with us and we are unsure what to do at this point. We are 4 months pregnant and do not want to move again. And we are concerned that the landlord, who while reasonable and pleasant, will revoke our lease (as per the addendum) since he was already leery of allowing the dogs. His only concern was that it didn't disturb the other tenants. We like it here and don't want to lose the apartment. We're not even fully unpacked (we've been here about a week and a half). I'm not sure what direction to go at this point. I've thought of confronting her kindly but firmly since we've already tried apologizing and discussing it with her. And I've also considered calling and discussing the problem with the landlord. But I fear being a "thorn in his side". Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance.

Fr_Chuck
Jan 10, 2008, 04:40 PM
Well I gues the issue is that he has been living there, and the barking bothers him. And he wants things quiet and dogs are not. So he will complain, every time the dog barks, esp if it is ever at night, if I lived up stairs and your dog woke me up I would be calling the landlord complaining also.
And some people are more into "clean" than others they can have a big desire not to have their kids play in and around where dogs go. The landlord may allow it, but that does not mean your neighbor can not complain about it.

And your neighbor can get other tennants to also complain.
You can assume your neighbor is already calling the landlord.

I can see both sides, the reason I moved into a no pet allowed apartment complex.

mysto
Jan 10, 2008, 04:42 PM
Well, as far as the pets go... most apartments won't allow pets. So you are extremely lucky that they let you in... The reason the pets go nuts is that they are left by themselves and of course they aren't happy about it. So, I have a suggestion... You can put on music or record yourself talking or something like that and put it on a loop I know that when a female is getting ready for labor she will wait until it is quiet and peaceful, so if you do that also she will not birth the pups, (of course it's one of those like wives tales). All it will cost you is a blank CD if you have a MIC on your PC. But I think that might help you... Good Luck.

ScottGem
Jan 10, 2008, 04:50 PM
You are caught between a rock and a hard place. You need to try and establish some rapport or common ground with the tenant, but if she makes herself too much of a nuisance the landlord can revoke the lease.

Bluerose
Jan 10, 2008, 05:28 PM
cwmonster,

Are you at home in the daytime with the dogs or do you work? And who is pregnant exactly, you or one of the dogs? If you work is there someone who can have the dogs for you in the daytime? They don't like being left alone for too long. You have only been there a week, they will need time to settle in. You say you haven't finished unpacking, I think if you do the place may seem more like home to them and this might help. In the meantime stay on the right side of the neighbour upstairs, no matter how annoyed you feel, smile and apologise profusely. Whatever you do don't lose it with the neighbour or it's all over. If possible try to become friends with the neighbour, make friends with her daughter too. Get right in there with a smile and a 'sorry it won't last long they will settle in soon' look on your face. And stop drugging your dogs to keep them quiet. Behave normally and give them lots of attention, they may be a little confused with everything that's going on.

Fr_Chuck
Jan 10, 2008, 06:14 PM
Yes, drugs and **** shock collars** are beyond bad in my book, as a method of training dogs

cwmonster
Jan 11, 2008, 07:19 PM
I just want to clarify a couple of things that may have come across wrong...
I'm not "drugging" my dogs. Its an herbal medicine that my vet recommended. I don't give it to them regularly but they take it when they are in stressful situations. (thunderstorms, the move, grooming visits... not all the time). I do all that I can to comfort them otherwise and it is merely a last resort. I leave the Tv on, I've bought them Kong toys and others that keep them busy, I take them to the dog park daily, etc... Believe me, I'm not some horrible person who treats their dog like an accessory. They are treated better than most children by most accounts. And they're only left alone for maybe 4-6 hours each day between mine and my fiancee's schedule. Otherwise, they are by our sides.
The collars are not shock collars. I would never do that. They are the spray citronella collars and they are only used when I'm home with them and as a training aid. They are never left on when I'm away so that I can ensure they are functioning properly and so that they make the connection between barking and the annoying spray. (which doesn't hurt them, by the way).
Also, I am the one who is pregnant, not the dogs. And the lady upstairs has a dog herself. As for them not going in the yard. There is only one other option for them to relieve themselves and that is in other peoples yards. I'm sure this wouldn't go over well either.
Thank you all for the advice. It is appreciated. I'm not sure what I'll do now but they seem to be settling in. It just seems like the neighbor has an issue no matter what the situation. My question was more in regards to how to deal with her. I've researched the dog situation thoroughly and done the best with the information I've gathered. I was more curious as to how to handle the neighbor. But thanks for all your help.

talaniman
Jan 11, 2008, 09:41 PM
This sounds like a question for Labman, as you will never get the neighbor on your side, as long as you have dogs.She would have anything to beyach about, if they weren't there, so focus on quieting your animals, or move to a better place.

ScottGem
Jan 11, 2008, 10:17 PM
Many people walk their dogs in the street cleaning up after them

oneguyinohio
Jan 11, 2008, 10:37 PM
Buy the neighbor a gift certificate for a local pet store for her dog? Also have you crate trained your dogs while you are away... sometimes that works to keep them calmer?

simoneaugie
Jan 12, 2008, 12:56 AM
Lots of great advise here. Barking dogs (among other things) used to bother me when I was younger. Now I can sleep through almost anything. Your dogs are not barking at night though. Unless she is sleeping during the day, she just likes to complain. People complain when they are not getting enough attention themselves.

Now, we have parrots as well as two dogs. I hear the big birds when 5 blocks away walking the dogs. Living in an apartment when you have noisy pets is always a potential problem. I understand that moving is not something you want to do. But it may be what has to happen.

Bluerose is right. You do not want to make her an enemy. I have found that making a neighbor a friend is often the best solution. Don't talk about her between yourselves as if she were an enemy. Befriend her if you can. Ask her for help with a dog issue. Give her the gift certificate if she will not talk to you. If she will be civil, ask for her advise. Tell her that you know the dogs can be noisy and you really hope you will not have to move for a while. Tell her about the baby.

I hope it all works out for you guys.