I Live in Virginia and I share custody of my children with their father I can no longer afford to live in the state because they decrease my child support can I leave the state with my kids?

No, You will need to talk to the other parent. Kidnapping charges can be filed against you because you share custody. While I understand your predicament, it will be easier for you in the long run t o just tell him what is going on. Who knows, he might increase the support to keep his kids near. One can always hope.