I have been married for 14years and we have3 kids . We have been separated for 4 months now. When we first got separated I wasn't sure about my feelings toward my wife a lot had happen through the years we weren't happy. In the time we have been apart I changed I took a hard look at myself I realized that I was completely in love with my wife I wanted to be with her and make her happy . We got back together twice both times we ended up breaking up again. In the four months we been separated she has been seeing someone actually she left me twice for him the two times we tried two get back together . She had no answers why she said she didn't love me the same way anymore. I tried to move on but I couldn't I would cry myself to sleep some times call her at night to try to convince her to take me back. I even went out with other women . That made me think about her more. Now this guy moved in with her so I don't know what to do any more she tells me that now she having strong feelings for me but she can't be with me because I hurt her to muchin the past. The other day she asked to speak to me in private and we started to hug and kiss and telling me she misses me . But the next day I try to talk too her about what happen she tells me she is not ready to talk or to give her time to sort her feelings. But the guy is still living with her she doesn't get him out. So how is she suppose find out what she wants when she spends all hertime with this guy and none with me. She still tells me she having doubts about her feelings to him but she likes the way he treats her. Iasked about sex was it about sex with him she says no that the only man that has really satisfied her in bed has been meno one else. Sex was never our problem I would say sex probably kept us together longer then we should have . What should I do pursue her keep going after her or give her space and just ignore her I'm confused. But I'm afraid Imight met some one along the way or she just might stop trying and I don't want to lose her even more if I already haven't.

Sounds like she's using you as her back up cause she knows how much u love her, so she feels like you will always be there for her, so she can do what ever she wants and when she's done her thing she knows she can have you back. You need to let her know that you are not going to be there every time she screws up

It sounds as though you have already lost her. You were married for 14 years and 4 MONTHS separated and she has someone living with her? Big red flag! You are still married and your vows should still be honored. If you are on a trial separation - how can this work. Have lawyers been called and it is just a matter of time before you get a divorce?
She is stringing you along because she can - you are allowing it. She is using your feelings against you.
I would give her time and space. You need to examine the situation here. What she is doing is wrong. Plain and simple.

I can feel you you, man. My situation is similar but not that bad.
I think you should move on. She already left you two times. If she gets back with you she will leave you again, so do not waste your time on her anymore. Spend more time with the kids.
It appears the guy uses her and she uses you for whatever reasons.
Do not beg her to take you back. You do not want her back just because she feels sorry for you. Right?

Its obvious whatever your doing ain't working at all. Get a lawyer, get a divorce, and protect yourself legally, emotionally and financially. Geez, she moves you out and him in?/ Get more proactive in handling your business, as she calls the shots and YOU let her. Unacceptable. Kick her to the curb, and repair the relationship with your kids.

You've been married 14 years and have 3 kids, and your wife has a boyfriend. If you have any question about what you should be doing, or how to do it, get with a good family counselor. I would think your next phone call would be to your attorney.

Time to have her poo or get off the pot... how long do you plan to hold all that crap inside of you waiting on her to finish her business?

To continue the analogy, what would you say to someone who lets a dog poo on their shoe before the dog runs away, then the person hangs on to the poo because they really like the dog and hopes it will come back home?

I'd say take a good long look at the poo, cause it isn't the dog you thought you had!