Ok guys, I posted my problem with my ex on here yesterday under "is there hope" and I am doing the NC plan. Yesterday while I was home, I had my away message up. Out of no where.. and I mean no where my ex's best friend sent me an IM saying "helloooo" now naturally you're thinking "no big deal" but I had deleted this girl off my myspace and we haven't spoken a word to each other since a few days before New Years. Any ideas on what this could be? Should I respond to her... Any course of action would help ha ha.. I don't want to stray from anything so I figured I'd ask my support line on here

Have you changed your ways in the last 30 days? I doubt it. She is taking your temperature, seeing where your head is at. Do call, and if you think it will stop you from addressing your issues, leave her alone. Whatever you do, keep working on that jealousy/control thing no matter what. Last chance with her, don't blow it. There will be a test, don't blow that either. She is looking for change, of the long lasting kind.

Well that's just it... It is my ex's best friend doing the contacting... Her friend's name is Jordan... And me and her don't speak because while we were mutual friends I feel as though her being my ex's best friend would be on her side... I have no idea why she would message me considering we haven't spoken since 2 days before New Years, not even hi at work.

Wow, this sounds like high school. Don't talk to her friend. If your ex wants to talk to you, she will. Don't buy into these games.

Yea.. That's what I was thinking. I had no desire to respond to the IM at all.. I'm just going along with the NC plan and sticking to it.. Anything I would have said to her would end up getting switched around anyway ha ha

It's quite possible that it's just as innocent as her saying hello. My ex's friend still call to catch up with me, and we even had lunch the other day. I don't think she called me to snoop on me, nor do I think she has an interest in me. She just called to see how I was doing.

Granted, if you have an inkling that she's snooping for the ex, then cut the connection. If not, then where's the harm?

My mistake, as I hadn't had coffee, so I misread your post. Disregard my other post and the ex'es best friend, though I have little doubt she is working on behalf of her friend. Keep working on you.

The thing is, they are like closest of closest friends... Hang out all the time and I would assume anything I say would get told to my ex.. Which I don't want to happen because I want her to feel as though I'm moving on and make her wonder what's going on... Maybe that's the wrong way to go but I don't know

Yea, I am going to keep working on myself. I need my time to myself in order to fix myself. And with the support of friends and the people on here, I have the confidence that I can not only change, but make this whole no contact work.

You say you don't talk to this girl, so I highly doubt she is going to IM you to catch up for for some cute little chit chat. Bah. Yeah right. Every single word you say will get back to your ex. Heck, I wouldn't be surprised if she was sitting right there. It's best to just stay away from games. And even by chance if it's not a game, it can't be any good to start talking to her best friend.

Two things you can do here:

1. you can just ignore it. Continue all sorts of NC. Her friend included.

2. you can talk to her... keep it low profile... just let her know you're still breathing... etc. but once you get the feeling she's snooping around, bail out.

Yea, I mean we used to talk but haven't in over a week. I deleted her off my myspace so I wouldn't be tempted to check her pics with my ex.. My New Years resolution was to not check my ex's myspace.. Which I haven't in 9 days.. I am almost 100% positive that she is snooping so I'm going to stay away. She saw me at work a few times and didn't say hi.. So obviously it's got to be a set up

I smell set up too, buddy.

I am curious as too what the motives are though.. Like why the set up, granted I am going to be 100% strong and not respond to any advances made from her friend... If she says "hi" at work, I will be short but respectful and say "hello" back

Their keeping tabs on you, what other motivation could there be? No contact will do that, but work on you. NC is for you to heal, not get her back.

I smell set up too, buddy.

Couldn't rep tal again, but yeah. Reason why there aren't a whole lot of female field agents. Yeah, I said it.

Yea, it is helping me heal.. Actually a lot more than anything else I have tried. The hardest thing is still knowing that if she did come back.. I would take her back, simply because I know that it could be better for us and worth the shot. But I won't be telling her that anymore... I'll keep my feelings away from her, don't want to come off as needy.. Haha yea girls are really the best for setting up.. Especially since today her friend signed on and didn't try to IM me this time, but last night did.

Ok guys, I posted my problem with my ex on here yesterday under "is there hope" and I am doing the NC plan. Yesterday while I was home, I had my away message up. Out of no where..and I mean no where my ex's best friend sent me an IM saying "helloooo" now naturally you're thinking "no big deal" but I had deleted this girl off my myspace and we haven't spoken a word to each other since a few days before New Years. Any ideas on what this could be? Should I respond to her....Any course of action would help ha ha..I don't want to stray from anything so I figured I'd ask my support line on here
The only thing I think is hello... If I contact someone, its obvious I'm doing it for a reason. Other wise why bother. RIGHT? CALL or write, if not anything a new friend.

Annie... I don't understand your post, what point are you trying to convey? That it was just a simple hello? Or what... Thanks

Ok guys and girls... I have a few scenarios I want to get some advice on for tonight at my second job. For those familiar with my situation I hope you do continue the support and advice, and to new comers, you can check my earlier posts for the background... But my ex and her best friend both work where I work my second job. Her best friend has already tried talking to me(as mentioned in a earlier post) and I didn't respond. So her coming up to me at work is likely. My questions are about how to handle the situation if it does so happen

1. What should I do if her friend asks "Do I miss my ex" "If I am seeing anyone else" "Am I still getting the help I was getting" and anything of that short..

2. What should I do if my ex tries to talk to me?

Any advice would help... I'm kind of nervous, because I am on the whole No Contact plan right now...

Thanks guys, you have all been great

Be polite, keep it short, stay busy.

Thanks... I was planning on trying to avoid or keep it short but not in an a hole way... I have been doing the NC for about 3 days... Granted my friends told me that's nothing.. but it is definitely the hardest thing I have ever done. But it's been 10 solid days without looking at her myspace.. So I'm happy about that one

Just keep it simple.

I'm sort of in the same boat as you... as school will be starting next week. My ex's friend DID ask me if I missed my ex last week... and there's really no way of answering that. I said, YEAH. I DO. And she said, YEAH. SHE MISSES YOU TOO. Then I changed the topic.

Really... how do you avoid that? You can't say NO.. . because that just sounds like you're putting up a fake wall everyone can see. You can't change the topic... you can't say LET'S TALK ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE... so I just answered it. And moved on.

If she asks if you're with anyone... you can either say:

I'VE BEEN DATING HERE AND THERE... NOTHING SERIOUS
EHH... NOT REALLY...
YEAH, AND SHE'S AWESOME

... remember that whatever you say will get back to the ex.

If your ex tries to talk to you (my ex WILL try to talk to me next week), I decided... that I'd keep it simple. Not ignore her... but simply say HI. How are you? And just... keep walking.

Good luck.

Ha ha... Yea.. The missing her question is the one that I am most afraid of because there is no right answer for that one. Because if I say "No" Im lying.. If I say "Yes" then that might put the NC situation in jeapordy because depending on the response from her friend might get my hopes up again. As for the dating question I will probably go with the Ehh.. not really.. And yea, simple hello, how are you seems to be the right message for my ex.

Well, even if her friend says SHE MISSES YOU TOO, it won't mean jack to me. I won't let it. Why? Because what else is she going to say? OH REALLY? YOU MISS HER? BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T MISS YOU AT ALL!. can't say that. I guess she could say AWW... or OH... I SEE... but that's it.

Don't let it get to you. When the ex finds out that you're doing fine... not thinking about her (or at least acting like you're not) and getting on with your life, she'll be bamboozled and then you'll gain that power.

Yea... I have some nice supportive friends... then the not so supportive ones. Like today I told my one friend.. Yea it's my 3rd day with NC with bri(my ex) and he goes "3 days...that's it? that's nothing"

1. What should I do if her friend asks "Do I miss my ex" "If I am seeing anyone else" "Am I still getting the help I was getting" and anything of that short.. First and foremost, it is not this girls business. To handle this, be super polite, thank her for being concerned or whatever, but politely tell her that you really don't feel like discussing it at work. For example...

"Hi, it's really nice your concerned, you're a great friend to (insert ex's name here). But I really don't think I want to talk about this at work." Then, if she says something about wanting to talk about it online... just block her lol.



2. What should I do if my ex tries to talk to me? I know from first hand experience what working with an ex is like. UGH!! Keep it polite and to a minimum. "Hi," "I'm fine thanks," etc. Again, you might want to try using the sentence above...

Haha. It's true. It is nothing... however, the first 2 weeks suck. Really really badly. But around the 3rd or 4th week, you start to feel better. I'm on week 5. I still miss her. I still want to talk to her. But it's getting much easier. I'm having an easier time sleeping... and I don't check my phone the minute I wake up. I've been going to the gym, going out with my friends... it's just better.

Mafia always comes in with the quick polite lines... Her friend is the same one that IMed the other night.. and since then she has been online every so often, but hasn't IMed.. So I'm taking that as a sign of it was my ex and her on her friends screen name... I'm just going to play it cool and be polite and say It's not appropriate to discuss at work right now but thanks for the concern... Basically exactly what you said

Yea.. The gym, friends and the amazing time consuming Nintendo Wii have been consuming my time. I play that thing and it just goes on for hours! I'm 21, I shouldn't have that much fun with it but it's too addicting ha ha

mafia always comes in with the quick polite lines...Her friend is the same one that IMed the other night..and since then she has been online every so often, but hasn't IMed..So I'm taking that as a sign of it was my ex and her on her friends screen name...I'm just going to play it cool and be polite and say It's not appropriate to discuss at work right now but thanks for the concern...Basically exactly what you said

Lol that's cause I'm so used to dealing with people who cry at the drop of a hat or who get offended easily. Lol. Plus if you make it out to be "you being uncomfortable or not in the mood to talk at work," she can't really say anything negative like that. Plus you're complimenting her so win/win. Lol.

Yea..The gym, friends and the amazing time consuming Nintendo Wii have been consuming my time. I play that thing and it just goes on for hours! I'm 21, I shouldn't have that much fun with it but it's too addicting ha ha

I find it amazing how men can lose themselves in videogames. Lol. Almost all of my past boyfriends did that. And unfortunately, I can't seem to... because it would be a nice distraction.

Oh it is... I felt like such a child playing the Wii at first.. Now I see it as a good source of killing time so I don't have that urge to text my ex.. Until I start to lay down and go to sleep.. It is horrible

I just wanted to give you guys a quick update on what happened last night and tell me if I did the right thing. I was outside talking to one of my good friends when all of a sudden this SUV drives past my house really slowly, it didn't really get noticed, until it drove by again... This time I was a little confused. So then the 3rd time they drove by the practically stopped at my neighbors for a min and then crept by really slow, meanwhile someone is ducking in the backseat and all you hear is a bunch of girls laughing... Then they come back again!! This time stop just in front of my friends car, but far enough so I couldn't see who it was. They then turn into my neighbors drive to come back again, and then I hear some girl say "we can't drive by yet again" they pull back out and go the same way they were going... So immediately I'm thinking it's my ex. My one guy friend dates my ex's good friend and he said his girlfriend was out with her friends having a "girls night out" Once this happened I picked up my phone, started to text her saying "If you're going to drive by my house this many times, stop and say something" but I closed my phone and put it back in my pocket...

I don't want to read too much into this, what do you guys think? I still kept the no contact.. Didn't text or call her or anything... Was she looking for a response?

I closed my phone and put it back in my pocket...



Good job! Don't play the game. You're bigger than that. Sadly, people do things just to invoke a response... but you are in control! Proud of you! :)

Yea.. I feel she was looking for a reaction and now it's killing her that I'm not giving her the attention I used too.. Sadly though, I know if she did say that she noticed a change in me and wanted to try again I would think about it but eventually give in.. Break up was my fault so it's not like it was for her to go meet other guys or anything.

Matters of the heart are always tricky. Believe me, I know!

Sadly, such matters often become a game... and games in which your heart is involved are never fun. Hang in there... you're doing well. :)

It was a good move on your part and a realllllllllllllly childish, stupid move on her part. I mean if she was 16-18 (she isn't right?) than perhaps I could understand teenagers acting this way, any older and it really is pathetic for her to engage in this type of behaviour.

Texting her would have been an awful mistake. The thing about stuff like this is although you are 98% sure it was her (and you are probably right) you never did actually see her and so calling to accuse her would have been wrong on your part, plus I doubt she would admit it anyway.

KEEP your n/c and forget about it. She did it for attention over you not calling her, by not calling or messaging her it makes her even more desperate and that shows. YOU have all the control right now, but be warned that ANY move on your part save N/C will give it alllllll back and ruin what you have established.

Goooood Luck!

Like I was saying to my friends at my other job.. Basically what she did last night was say "Here, I had the ball in my court, but you know what, I don't want it anymore...You take it"

Sadly she is 20 but when she gets with her friends.. She acts like a child. I am definitely going to continue with this NC and see how much better I get. Yesterday was a really big test, and it appears as though I passed with flying colors.

So what happened with this? Did any of them try to talk to you at work?

Yea, her best friend was actually hurt that I didn't talk to her anymore and that I deleted her from my myspace account. So we began talking and she asked if I was still taking my courses and I said yea I am, just passed my first one. And she goes that's good "So what you going to do about Brianna(my ex)" and I said I miss her, but she wanted space and said there is no shot in the future so I'm letting go and giving up on it. And she responds by "You never know what the future holds if you fully change this time" I wanted to scream at her and say "your her best friend, of course you freakin know" but I just said yea, you're right but it's best I give her the space that she requested and we both take a look at our lives

It seems like she was kind of fishing for info, but I think you did good, and you held your tongue with that comment. Good for you! How old are your ex and her friend by the way?

My ex and her friends are 20... Basically, what they do is hang out at each others houses and drive around(well that's what she did before she met me). I kind of figured she was fishing for info and was taken aback by that comment she gave me and it stuck with me awhile as to what she meant by it... But I'm over it now.. Still don't know what it means though ha ha

I could only assume she wanted you... in the future of course. But as we all know, the time has a way of changing things. And by the time you are ready, she might not be. And vice versa. So I wouldn't dwell on it too much. Just keep doing what you're doing. You seem very strong. :)

Yea, I am getting by. I know what she means by in the future. Because I had a habit of "masking" my change and it would only be for like 2 weeks then back to the old jealousy J/O so she may be hesitate about it. I'm just going to keep doing my N/c and handling my jealousy and see where life takes me... That's weird your're from PA... May I ask where about?

I'm from a small town located between State College (Penn State) and Williamsport (Little League World Series). What about you?

I live right outside of Trenton, NJ... My grandmother used to live an hour away from Williamsport until she moved... She would constantly complain about the weather during the winter ha ha

Yeah, the winters are pretty crappy. But actually, it hasn't been too bad... YET. Lol.

I can't wait for spring. :)

Yea I love nice weather, I can live with fall and spring. I hate summer too darn hot and then winter to darn cold sometimes

Yeah, that's how I feel too. I like the mild seasons. I think we live in the wrong part of the country lol.

Ha ha yea... Maybe Cali is the right place for me, Ive always wanted to live there anyway

Yeah after the ex dumped me I contemplated moving to either nyc, cali, or North Carolina. I think I would like NC. I decided I'm not going to make a hasty move just yet, so I held off.

Yea, my friend lives in NC and it's beautiful down there.. I love it, NYC, ehh not for me.. Too busy and expensive, I don't like feeling rushed all the time

Yeah, the fact that it's too expensive and I'm too much of a tight wad made me decide that I don't want to live there after all. :D

Ha ha... Yea I'm a tight wad too.. I don't see the reason to blow money of stupid things... Of course that is all null and void for my Avalanche collectibles.. That is when obsession takes over :-)

It's true, your personal thoughts and feelings are YOURS and no-one else's - you are in control. Be polite, be light-hearted, be pleasant. If you feel uncomfortable with a subject matter, change the subject, ask her about her day etc.

You're doing great, keep being good to yourself as a priority and everything will get a tad easier day by day.

Yea, I am getting better every day. I was really taken aback by her being hurt I stopped being friends with her, I know everything I say will go back to my ex. So I have to be kind and friendly without sounding desperate so I just say I miss her, but realized we both need time to ourselves to think about what we want and what we should do with our lives.

Lol... yeah we all have our obsessions. Lol. What are Avalanche collectibles?

MY favorite hockey team.. Colorado Avalanche ha ha... I collect just about anything and everything that has to do with them.. My room is like a hockey hall of fame... It's actually funny... but pathetic at the same time

Ooooh I see. Lol, well that's not pathetic, and obsessing over sports beats obsessing over a girl any day. :)

Exactly... I think her breaking it off during hockey season really helped... Because now I just get bored and turn on a hockey game. Center Ice is great for that :-)... So what do you do for fun

What do I do for fun? Lol you're looking at it. :) pathetic I know. ;) lol

Nah not pathetic... I think this site is keeping my sanity right now, being able to come on while I'm at work and express my feelings and help others. It's a good thing

I'm not sure why, but today I have just felt horrible. Granted, I haven't broken NC but lord knows I want too... I know it won't do any good, so I keep trying to replay horrible instances in our relationship, something just to dull the pain. I'm at the point where I want to say I don't love her as much as before but the truth is I love her the same if not more. Last night I thought I was doing well, finally fell asleep and got 3 hours of sleep and then woke up and was actually able to eat something. Now I'm at work, and it's hitting me like a ton of bricks. This isn't really a question or anything, but mainly a venting of sorts so I don't break that NC. I just don't see how one day I am perfectly fine and then today I feel like I'm back at square one

Yeah, you're going to have days like that. Where one day you are up and the other you are down. You will notice an increase of up days as time goes on. What helped me was filling my schedule up as much as possible. I have so much downtime at work sitting at a desk, and it's easy to just think about things. So it's nice to have the rest of the day filled with stuff. Right now I'm going on 71 days NC. It used to be a horrible thing watching the number get higher, but now I rather enjoy it. Lol.

Go outside. Look up. You see that sun?

It's there, no matter how awful or depressed you feel.

Its going to continue shining tomorrow, when you feel back on top of the world again.

Its going to set in a breathtaking sunset this evening, but still be there, awakening the opposite side of the world with its morning rays.

Its going to bring the Spring and the gorgeous, sparkling dewdrops of tomorrow's dawn.

Even if its rainy and gray where you are, its still there. Even when you can't see it, it's there... It may be hidden behind a cloud, but its still there.

As are we. Your support network is still here. Even though you can't see us, we're here.

This little poem was found on a wall in Cologne where Jews were hiding from Nazi troops:

I believe in the sun
Even when
It is not shining

I believe in love
Even when
I cannot feel it

I believe in God
Even when
He is silent

Go look at your sun. Let it remind you that your support is always here. :)

I know exactly what you're going through. I'm still having those days, even after I thought those days had ended. Just when I thought I was good like you said it just hit me like a ton of bricks. But don't end your NC otherwise you'll go back to square one. Along the lines of what HistorianChick said, this is one of my favorite lines of all time from any movie and you can apply it to all areas of life not just relationships, its from Cast Away:

"I had power over *nothing*. And that's when this feeling came over me like a warm blanket. I knew, somehow, that I had to stay alive. Somehow. I had to keep breathing. Even though there was no reason to hope. And all my logic said that I would never see this place again. So that's what I did. I stayed alive. I kept breathing. And one day my logic was proven all wrong because the tide came in, and gave me a sail. I know what I have to do now. I gotta keep breathing. Because tomorrow the sun will rise. Who knows what the tide could bring?"

Thanks guys! It's good to know that I have people here that support me, while some of my friends say just to pick up the phone and call her. Which I will not do... No way will I go that route and start back at day 1. Thanks for the poem Historian and the quote DMB, Mafia, thanks as always for being there for me. I hope I have the strength to make it to 71 days. I do whatever I can to keep my mind busy, joggin, writing, the gym... People say it's unhealthy how addicted to the gym I am now lol

Thanks guys! It's good to know that I have people here that support me, while some of my friends say just to pick up the phone and call her. Which I will not do...No way will I go that route and start back at day 1. Thanks for the poem Historian and the quote DMB, Mafia, thanks as always for being there for me. I hope I have the strength to make it to 71 days. I do whatever I can to keep my mind busy, joggin, writing, the gym...People say it's unhealthy how addicted to the gym I am now lol

No prob ;)

And by the way, the next time someone says it's unhealthy how addicted to the gym you are... tell them it's not nearly as unhealthy as being addicted to her. Lol. :D

LOL! I agree, mafia, although I'd tend to want to show of the results of the gym in addition to the comment!

Get a six pack, Rome, then no one will say its unhealthy! They'll just be envious! ;)

I know exactly what you mean. Its been about a year for me after getting out of a six years relationship. I guess my feelings comes more out of anger and how disrespected I felt, and sometimes still do. Not out of love at all. In the beginning I did think it was love though. Looking back now I'm glad my ex and I broke up. I'm just not cool with how things went down though. In a way I guess I'm just venting like you are because I'm at work sitting at my computer and feeling bored. Lol... but in another sense I would say stay strong and continue to analyze what happened in your relationship. I really don't think people do this enough. I've actually written vignettes, taken long walks, listened to music, spoken to my elders and friends, to try and figure out what happened so that I don't make the same mistakes twice. Stay occupied and use this time for yourself. My plan is to improve myself so much so that any woman would be lucky to be with me. But unlike you, all I want is a face to face interaction where my ex apologizes wihout me having to ask for it. I might not ever get it but at least I know I don't EVER want her back. So, study your situation, talk to yourself if you have to, and do anything that you think will give you the answer you are searching for. Once you have your answer things will get a lot easier. I know you have had people post and tell you to stay active.. well, don't just stay physically active by jumping from one thing to another. Stay mentally active too. Stop and think, critique, analyze your situation, study other couples, read articles and books dealing with your issue. These are the things I've done and honestly when I look back at how I used to be I can't help but laugh at myself and the role I played in my previous relationship. Relationships should be fun because you are always learning; not depressing.

LOL! I agree, mafia, although I'd tend to want to show of the results of the gym in addition to the comment!

Get a six pack, Rome, then no one will say its unhealthy! They'll just be envious!! ;)

Yep!! Show them all!! :)

Ha ha for some reason I was not able to give rep points to any of you, they really need to change that!. Yea, I am definitely working on the 6 pack. It's starting to show a lot that I go to the gym with me getting bigger and more fit looking so that's a good thing. I do whatever I can to both stay mentally and physically active. I think I will resort to video game playing when I am home and not at the gym to keep my mind off things. And I agree, being addicted to the gym is a whole lot better than her. I sit back and think of how much I was crawling when we first broke up and was like that was a chump move.

I agree - the greenie system needs to allow multiple greenies in a row... I've found that you can only give one to a person every five or so greenies. Basically, if I want to give a greenie and it says that I have to spread it around, I have to give four other greenies before I can come back and give the original intended greenie!

(wow... that's a lot of "greenies" in that sentence... lol! :))

Ha ha I know... It's weird, the best advice comes from the majority of the same people, they need more greenies!

I wish you could be as proud of yourself, as I am, as the way you have handled your bad day, is truly an inspiration to others, as the way to go. Of all the things you could have done, and regretted later, you chose to come here, and vent, and get support, AND support others, which is a reflection of your healing, and growth. Well done.

I feel like without this website there would be a lot of miserable co-workers out there who were sick and tired of hearing people like us venting and talking about this so much. On that note, thank god for the internet. Not to mention this takes much valued time away from staring at pie charts and analyzing bar graphs. Life is good.

LOL! Hear, hear, DMB!

Or, from writing history... my editor is going to kill me if he ever finds out how much of my "extra" time is spent on here... But, it keeps my mind sharp... right? ;)

Yea, I think my friends and co-workers would be stabbing me in the ears and duct taping my mouth closed due to this whole situation. I think there is an added comfort level to know that I am not the only one going through this so I don't feel so alone

Yea I'm pretty sure half of my salary goes to time spent on this website, yikes.

OK, so everyone on here by now knows my situation with my ex. Well, I have been doing NC for over a month with her. Talking only when spoken too and it's short n sweet like "hi" "i'm good and you" stuff like that. Well I thought it would be best to just stop going on my myspace page, so I deleted ALL her friends off my myspace along with anyone who had her as a friend on myspace, then made my page private and haven't been on since(about 8 days). Now I was addicted to that site, but knew it was in my best interest to get off it for my own sanity.

She is now dating this guy who is so below me(looks wise and personality wise), everyone sees it. Except her, which is fine as long as she is happy. I just didn't want to know about it. Wel I sign onto my Facebook account and a very close friend of mine sent me a message saying this
"Hey,

Something a little bizzare happened. First of all is Brianna's last name Lyn? If so, she facebook friended me today. Even though we were sort of friends at shoprite, I think it is kind of wierd that I'm getting this friend request now. Are you guys still broken up? If so, I'm going to reject this request. Let me know."

SHE HAS NEVER HAD A FACEBOOK ACCOUNT! Now all of a sudden after I stop my myspace account she signs on. I try to get away from her, and she starts up a new account that she knew I had and is now requesting ALL of my guy friends. They are denying her and everything.

I'm not going to break NC I'm just wondering why she is doing all this crap

She's doing this "crap" (as you put it) because she's trying to get into your head.

And, actually, you should be proud at this turn of events... because it means that you're making a difference. She knows that you're doing well without her, she knows that you're doing NC and she doesn't like it. Because she's not in control. She doesn't like seeing that you're getting along fine without her... and that you're actually growing as a person... completely without her.

Don't let this affect you, dear RomeFalls. And hey, I've got Facebook and myspace if you want to "pad your friend lists!"

Really, be proud of this. You're making a difference. :)

Yea, Historian, I am proud of it, it's like that site was to be my Oasis lol... She said she would never get one ha ha.. Now she has one. It shows who my true friends are, the ones that delete her request. Sure what is your name on there and I can add you

She'll realise what she's missing one day, well done for the NC. Historian is right, be proud, as she's no longer in control. Your doing well my friend.

I'm not really sure how I feel about all of this "being on control" stuff.

I mean isn't the point of NC to get yourself better and put yourself first?

It almost seems like "being in control" or winning is still keeping you just as emotionally involved in the situation. Just to play devil's advocate here but her doing this is obviously getting to you, otherwise you wouldn't think twice about mentioning it. I think you should just try to ignore all of this, and not think about it as a "contest" because I don't think its doing you any good. You need to further yourself from this situation.

I can't really tell if I have any validity in saying this, or if I'm just really in a bad mood today at work haha. Oh well feel free to shoot me down.

It's getting to me simply because I did everything to get away, and she pops up lol. I'm not going to let it show it bothers me to her. I couldn't care less if I was in control or anything ha ha. I'm doing NC for me, to let myself move on.

I don't think that its as much about being in control as it is knowing that you're making a difference. Knowing that what you're doing (for yourself = NC) is not only helping you with closure, but also is creating a self-sufficient, amazing person that is free... free to create a future void of a bad relationship.

And yes, as I wrote on another thread this morning... NC is not a means to an end. Its not a way to "get her back" or to show her you're worthy... it is for you and you alone. Its empowering yourself to be in control of your emotions, heart, and mind...

So, I guess it truly is a matter of control... but not over someone else, over yourself. :)

You guys could have just told me I was being a moron haha. I was up all night being all giddy because I'm going to see the foo fighters tonight. And now I'm pounding cups of coffee struggling to find ways of amusing myself at work because its so slow. I'm thinking of just puilling up a pie chart for a couple of hours and just staring at it and wandering off in my head.

So another coffee break sounds great.

Yessss...

All right, boys... Cheers! Coffee's on me! :)

YES! I love coffee... So now an ex friend of hers told me that when they used to talk(about 3 weeks ago) she told Sam(her friend) that she stalks my myspace... Not sure why or what's that about. She can't anymore since it's private, so maybe that's why the Facebook.. I don't know.. It's whatever anymore, I'm not going to start a conversation with her or send out a friend request ha ha... I've come to far to blow it over this

Yeaaaa boieieieieieie

Oh yeah... pull out the good ol' Kevin McAllister...

"I'm not afraid anymore!" :D

I don't really know if that means anything. A LOT of girls stalk not just ex's but people on those kind of sites. I know plenty of girls who stalk their exes on myspace and Facebook, and it doesn't mean anything. Its just what girls do I guess.

Hahahaha I was waiting for that historian

"just what girls do"..!

DMB... rah...

I'm a girl, I don't stalk on Facebook or myspace! What kind of girls have you been around?

I'll forgive you... e-chocolate may have to be involved in the forgiveness process, but I'll forgive you...

Just make the blanket statement when you talk about "what girls do"... "HC not included, of course" :D

Its just weird how she didn't have a Facebook account while my myspace wasn't private and she was on my friends list. Now after a week of it being private, she makes a Facebook and requests one of my best friends.. Who she knows I am with 24/7

I come on here saying this stuff strictly so I don't tell anyone else, so it doesn't get back to her. Maybe that's a bad thing? But I think it's good

Immediately after I posted that I thought oh no I said girls and not most girls or even some girls.

I was just saying that I know plenty of not crazy girls who tend to uhm check up on, or if you want to say just "stalk" their exes from time to time when they have nothing better to do. They openly admit it. I don't think they do it for any other reason than curiosity and sometimes you just like to see what someone else is up to. I'm not saying that its what "all girls" do and I'm not even saying its right, it sounds shady I know but I think in the end its just harmless and human nature to be curious.

Hopefully I have redeemed myself and if not I blame it 100% on a lack of caffeine.

Awww... you're sweet...

I was just messing with you... but one of my exes was very "girly" in his stalker mode. My friends now know him as "stalker boy." Police were involved... it was actually quite messed up. And... my myspace is now private due to his constant "checking up" on me.

Yes, you redeemed yourself. Honestly, there wasn't anything to "redeem"... my sarcasm tends to rear its ugly head when I have a deficiency of caffeine. ;)

And rome its good that you're telling all of this to us. You never know what could get around to her if you told even friends. This is a great place to vent and chances are we've all been in the same spot so you know you're getting good advice.

Hear, hear! What else are e-coffee breaks for but to vent about problems! I'm enjoying this e-coffee thing we've got going!

(Oh, and DMB, I still want that fine print thingy... "HC exluded, of course" :D)

I know how you feel. After my breakup even though I wasn't the one who needed "space" or time to be single, I was constantly being checked up on through Facebook and tahts fine, but it got to the point where if even my sister was saying hello it would turn into "WHY ARE GIRLS LEAVING YOU MESSAGES". So I've been down that road before and its not fun, and as a result I just ended up deleting my Facebook account to avoid anymore drama. One of these days I will make my triumphant return to Facebook, and it will be grand.

Hey Rome,

Crazy stuff eh. This Same thing happened to me an I went nuts over it, soit's quite a trip down memory lane reading your posts. I deleted her off Facebook, then blocked her and her cousin. She still got to myprofile through another cousin whom I can't delete cause she's my brothers best friend. Anyway, the day I blocked her she added a friend of mine, he wrote on my wall the very same day, he (like your friends) called me to say this girl whom he has NEVER met is asking to be his friend, heknew we dated but only cause I told him. So I told him to wait until I spoke to her. That's the situation your in, she's adding your friends and all this non-sense.

I was afraid she would start adding more of my friends and God knows why, soi called her to ask her. She played dumb, was rude, and just acted like a fool. She said she did not know I knew the guy or that he happened to write on my wall the very day, just a big coincedence eh, about a 5 billion to 1 shot. Point is that she wants a response from you, I gave her the response and she liked getting off some shots, they don't want to go quietly into the night my friend, that would make too much sense.

Finally, I re-added her at her request and eventually got off Facebook because of her and other reasons, once I didthat she did something similar with another friend but whatever, eventually she let it go cause I was not on it, like you and myspace. Months later I went through the same thing on MSN until I deleted that to, so I only have this and thank-God for that. What you are is wise, anty contact over this will bring it aLLLLLLLLLLLL back, who cares why she does what she does, it makes her look pathetic and weird, not you. Stay strong, its never worth the call, never.

Well, when you do make your triumphant return, look me up. I always love adding to my friend list! :)

Feeling better Rome? 'Cause I've got more movie quotes where my last one came from!

who cares why she does what she does, it makes her look pathetic and wierd, not you

I could not have summed the situation up any better. Touché.

Ha ha yea, I am feeling a lot better. It just caught me off guard this morning. BMI the thing is, she KNOWS he is my best friend. I mean he would come into my store when she was there and talk, would come to some Triple A baseball gams as he works there and talk to us. She will most definitely NOT get a response from me, I won't stoop to that level. I play it cool when at work, not showing emotion or talking to anyone about how I feel. I will just continue to act like I don't care and she will eventually either A) stop trying or B) actually try to speak to me

Hear comes my evil head to rear itself again.

But Rome you shouldn't be thinking at all that she will actually try and speak to you again. You're setting yourself up if you keep thinking like that.

And we were doing so good, boys! :)

But, DMB makes a point...

Me = moderator.

Rome? Your answer!

:D

Yea, that's true DMB. But in reality, that's the only 2 options there are ha ha. I have told people to stop telling me about her life, as that's what it is, her life. It's actually funny because I used to talk a lot at that job, now I hardly speak, constantly have my head phones on and on break I read, sit by myself and whenever someone asks me how I am, I simply reply. "I'm good, but I should really be getting back to work" It's a complete 180, from how I used to be. I feel so much better about it and about myself. When the break up first happened, I would tell anyone who asked about what was wrong, or what happened. So I have come very very far in my eyes

Darlin, great answer. :)

You're doing well. Beyond well. You're doing Yondwell (beyond + well, in case you were wondering. ;) )

Don't worry about it. Keep your head up. You were doing fine.

... really don't have many words of wisdom right now. @ work as well.

You have come very far indeed, and have handled yourself well, as all she wants is for you to be confused enough to contact her. Well done. SHESH, back in my day not calling was enough, but today, there are so many ways to contact, or check up, on people it would drive me crazy. Keep up the good works on yourself, and you will see the attraction fade by her own actions, they are pathetic. What the heck were you thinking hooking up with her? And still wanting her back?? Oh well, Love is dumb sometimes.

Yea, the funny thing is. She was NEVER like this when we were dating. She never even went on myspace. So everything she is doing now, is showing me she has completely changed, changed so much I can't even see the person I fell in love with. I am going to continue doing what I am doing with my life. I have set myself up with goals for this year, and will stop it nothing to accomplish them. I take it one day at a time. I talked to my cousin about this earlier and she said the same thing Tal.. That she wants me to be so confused that I text her and ask her what's up so she can shoot me down again because that's how she is avoiding her feelings, by making it seem like I am still the jealous and possessive BF she knew. And by not contacting her, it is hitting her hard and confusing her and eventually it will hit her and then it will be all up to me about where to go from there. Which I will not lie, would be a decision to think about but thought about thoroughly. But with a clear head none the less guys so don't worry.

And by not contacting her, it is hitting her hard and confusing her and eventually it will hit her and then it will be all up to me about where to go from there. Which I will not lie, would be a decision to think about but thought about thoroughly. But with a clear head none the less guys so don't worry.

As long as you know what you're getting yourself into or how your setting yourself up by thinking that way. For your own sake I think you should just put it into your head that you deserve better, and you're going to wait until that comes around, and in the meantime just live life and not wait for her to talk to you or even give her the time of day when it comes to devoting time to think about her. Even though you're not waiting for her to talk to you but you know what I mean.

What the heck were you thinking hooking up with her? and still wanting her back??? Oh well, Love is dumb sometimes.


Great quote. I think there are a lot of people who would love for that question to be answered.

Yea, I see what you mean. Its like I want her to talk to me, but I could never do the friends thing with her. That is one thing I won't settle for, I won't do it to myself. I'm just going to live my life for myself. Do what I feel like doing and not caring what she is doing or what she thinks.

Do you really want to talk with her or you just want someone to talk to. Sometimes its not necessarily the person we miss, its just the situation.

AH

I think that may be why "love is so dumb" sometimes. Because no matter what they say or do, sometimes you feel the need to go crawling back because the situation you were in was comforting. We've all been there, and eventually you learn to be 100% happy on your own, when that happens then you can really learn to love someone else.

DMB - you're so right...

It sounds all "tree huggery" but you really have to love yourself, who you are when you're alone, before you can truly love someone else.

Tree Huggery, that hurts HC

Although now that I think about it, I went to a hippie college, I'm obsessed with hippie tree hugging bands, and just graduated with a degree in philosophy. Thanks for the eye opener haha

LOL! All right... Touche' my friend, touche'.

You said "just what girls do" and I said "tree huggery"...

Let's just drink our e-coffee and play nice! ;)

Do hippies even drink coffee? I guess that's something I should know. I guess I should lose the suit and tie job too. This is a great life changing experience. I'm ranting a lot today. Yikes.

Ok those familiar with my story, thanks for coming back for yet another chapter. Yesterday at work I was helping one of my ex's old best friends(they stopped being friends over the guy) and I didn't know my ex was working the book keeping office yesterday. Well something was said between me n her old friend and we were laughing and when I stood up, there was my ex, around 20 paces back given me the "look" and she was standing outside of the book keepers office the whole time we were out there. Also for the past week, every time I walk by she is always looking at me. And then my cousin yesterday told me that she asks how I am doing and stuff. So I was tired of it, so when I went on my break after this happened, I walked by her and simply said "Hey Brianna" and there was like a 2 second pause and then a "heyyy" back... Saying hello didn't set me back any or anything. I went after my break to talk to Sam(her old bestfriend) she asked if I said anything to her and I said yea, I just said hi, why? And she said because my ex looked distant afterwards. Sam then talked to one of their mutual friends and when Brianna was asked about what that was(me saying hey) she rolled her eyes...

Any ideas? Ha ha

Stay out of office drama, especially with the ex involved. That would be my idea. Unless you like drama.

Tal, trust me, I HATE drama. I am definitely not going to go back down that road with texting her or anything like that. It's just weird, she has a boyfriend but always is staring at me. Don't worry, no relapses. I have come too far to go back to square one with being a love sick puppy dog begging for her.

Hey Rome! First of all it's good to hear from you again. I hope that aside from the ex-girlfriend problems that all is going well.

Okay, so here is the problem with your situation. As much as this sucks to hear you are simply trying too hard to read into what she is thinking. Your best option is to just forget about what is running through her head and continue on your own path. On top of that, as Tal said, stay out of the office drama.

Trust me, I do the same thing (trying to interpret the ex's actions) and more then anything it just makes things worse. If you look at my post "Seeing Ex at Party Soon!" you'll notice that I was trying to decipher how my ex acted. Problem is that no matter how hard we try to interpret things we simply will never know the persons true intentions so as a result there is no point in dwelling on the matter. Keep it simple and don't over complicated matters

Just stay on the path your on. I'm pretty sure that in due time you and your ex-girlfriend will start talking again and a few of your questions will be answered. But let it happen naturally.

Yea, besides her all is well lol... How about you?

Yea, I hear you confused... I'm not going to force anything. She has a boyfriend, and my parents told me he was really angry over the fact that my ex still talks to my parents so openly and was huffing and puffing when she was talking to them on Saturday. But like the bible says "what will be, will be" so time is the only thing that will take the fog away

Same lol. Aside from getting over the ex-girlfriend all is well.

With time things will get better. When things are rough I often remind myself how easy my life is. Instead of worrying over finding food to survive, I'm lucky enough to be worrying over a lost love. Although sometimes it feels I would prefer the former predicament, the truth is that I'm a lucky guy.

I don't read the bible much, but the quote you mentioned is spot on. Just let things flow naturally. Based on what you told us I feel that things between you and your ex-girlfriend are not over. I'm not suggesting you two will bet back together (although its always a possibility), but what I'm saying is that you haven't seen the end of this chapter and it will take a little longer before its complete.

Its funy you should say that about the chapter. My friend is always telling me that the book is far from over and there are more than a few people saying it's not over. Being her first and everything things got too heated and she thought things would be better else where. But this guy is far more jealous than I was, so I'm just going to keep doing what I'm doing. Gym, hanging out with friends and enjoying my quiet time(and watching my bank account grow)

And yea, things will definitely get better for us. Like my dad said "they have to get better, they can't get worse" ha ha...

Rome,

How is all this information privy to you?? You seem to know a lot about what she is doing and how she responds to actions and this and that. As great as you are doing you are still very capable of falling into the drama, once that happens its like quick sand. Treat work like work, if her friend asks you questions about her than don't respond. I do believe I read something of yours that said you spent your break outside reading a book (I think it was you?) I think her seeing that would be more powerful than anything else you could do around the office.

Seems like ex's only get riled when you are not trying to rile them:) Not that you are, I'm just saying.

Yea, people make it a habit of telling me stuff about her, I don't talk to anyone at work really. Just a few close friends that I trust. I have stopped a lot of the incoming information about her. And yea that was me with the book and IPOD lol. I just feel better doing that then sitting around talking to people who couldn't be trusted. You're right about not falling back into the drama that is the work place because everyone says I need to "save" her from this guy. But like I said, she's her own person with her own mind

Ok those familar with my story, thanks for coming back for yet another chapter. Yesterday at work I was helping one of my ex's old best friends(they stopped being friends over the guy) and I didn't know my ex was working the book keeping office yesterday. Well something was said between me n her old friend and we were laughing and when I stood up, there was my ex, around 20 paces back given me the "look" and she was standing outside of the book keepers office the whole time we were out there. Also for the past week, everytime I walk by she is always looking at me. And then my cousin yesterday told me that she asks how I am doing and stuff. So I was tired of it, so when I went on my break after this happened, I walked by her and simply said "Hey Brianna" and there was like a 2 second pause and then a "heyyy" back...Saying hello didn't set me back any or anything. I went after my break to talk to Sam(her old bestfriend) she asked if I said anything to her and I said yea, I just said hi, why? And she said because my ex looked distant afterwards. Sam then talked to one of their mutual friends and when Brianna was asked about what that was(me saying hey) she rolled her eyes...

Any ideas? Ha ha
You have too much time on your hands. Stop gossiping with your exes old friends. Get your own friends

First off Katrina, maybe you did not read the post properly, but the girl I was helping IS my friend. Actually one of my best friends, just because she USED to be friends with my ex does not classify her as strictly my exes old friend. She is the one person who has been there for me through all of this(outside of this site) So if you're not going to read the post properly, I urge you not to add your two cents into the mix. Thanks

Its funy you should say that about the chapter. My friend is always telling me that the book is far from over and there are more than a few people saying it's not over. Being her first and everything things got too heated and she thought things would be better else where. But this guy is far more jealous than I was, so I'm just going to keep doing what I'm doing.

Just don't fall into the trap of false hope. The chapter may not be complete but it doesn't mean it will end with you two back together. Just take it one sentence at a time.

No way, lol.. False hope is not going to happen on my part. I'm going to continue doing what I'm doing. When I don't try for girls they seem to flock, so I'm just going to lay back and let it all work itself out.

OK, while this may not seem like a big deal, I feel the need to vent on here. So low down for people who aren't familiar with my situation. We broke up about 3 months ago over my jealousy(which since has been corrected through various steps), she got a new boyfriend about Feb. Have been doing NC since around January 16th, well I had a job offer in California(I live in Jersey) and I had until Friday to decide if I wanted to take the job. I kept it VERY low key telling only trusted people(or so I thought) so I get a text this morning saying "hey, just wanted to wish you the best of luck in Cali" We have not spoken about anything expect a simple "Thank you" when she helped my mom with a problem. So why did she feel the need to text me? I'm not going to try and read into this, it just caught me completely off guard. I waited a few hours to calm down, and respond to her and simply said "I had to decline the offer for personal reasons, but curious how did you find out?" and she said "Oo someone told me about it thats all....." and I didn't respond to that, as I'm trying to find a good response for it

Evidence of the grapevine at your job, is up and running well.

Hey Rome! It's good to hear from you. I just wish it was under happier circumstances :)

Well, the thing is that it is a very small world, especially if your both very well connected with mutual friends. As a result nothing stays secret for too long, especially something as big as what you were facing. It's really hard to say why she texted you, maybe she wanted to find out if you were really going to California without directly asking you or she may just want to re-open the lines of communication.

I'm actually unsure whether texting her back would be a good or bad thing. If I were you I would probably respond with a short, simple, and closed text like "Cool, well thanks for the good luck wish, later." This closes the conversation on your part and you're not thinking whether she will text you back. It's done and you continue on the path your on. On the other hand, if you just ignore the text you avoid the whole "What should I say?" dilemma.

Wait a little longer for some other responses. I'm sure the calvary will be here soon to offer some more advice.

Thanks Tal... Yea the grapevine is going well lol... Funny thing is, I haven't been at work the past 2 days so I don't know how it happened, I thought it would get out earlier or something

Confused.. Yea, we have to start meeting on happier terms ha ha. I might use your response because it's to the point, polite and also doesn't seem like I'm hanging onto the conversation longer than need be.

You don't need to know how she found out. Monitoring the grapevine is a complete waste of your time. And it's not even what's got you in a bug, is it? It's just the topic you're using to mull it over.

No, you're just bugged she broke the No Contact (NC). Worse, you responded. So, the cat's out of the bag. You can't unring this bell.

Now it's simple, reestablish your friendship with this girl and STOP READING into what she says as if she were your girl. Friends don't do that to each other. She says "hi", you say "hi"... not "Oh my god, what does she mean by that?"

It would be so much less stressful if you went back to NC. But if you can't, you darn well better put on your best "friend" behavior and stifle thoughts like you're having right now. Waste of time and do you no good.

I don't want to be friends with her, wouldn't ever work. I simply said exactly what Confused said. Civil, polite and ended the conversation. You're right, it does bug me she broke NC because it's been 2 months and then she gets wind I might be leaving and then texts me. I'm not going to be texting her all the time, not even at all. I simply responded being polite and then ended the conversation. If she says "hi" at work when we see each other, then I will respond with a hello as well. Those little conversations I can do, but there was no reason to text me

Personally I would advise against re-establishing a friendship right now. I'm pretty sure Rome hasn't completely healed from the break-up so being friends at the moment is a bad idea. However, he should be polite when contact does occur between him and his ex, which I think he is doing.

She prob in her own little way still holds something for you and cares for you. Thus the need to text you. Us girlies are like that, we sit by the phone waiting for you to ring or reply to a text. Then we weigh up the pros and cons of texting you. She is prob in a place where she feels she is strong enough to talk etc again, blokes normaly get there before us but in this case no. talk to her if you want and don't if you don't there is no one makingyou do what you don't want to. She prob doesn't have a specific reason for texting other than she thinks it was the right thing to do at the time, she prob v unawear of how you feel, either tell her or just leave it.

Maybe she just had a fond memory of you and wanted to wish you good luck... nothing more.

How she found out is irrelevant as you aren't going anyway.

You were moving far away,she wasn't going to see you anymore,not even by accident,so yeah... it makes sense to me.you aren't strangers,you shared something so naturally she would be melancholic if you moved across the country,exiting her life for good.
But it doesn't mean anything.don't get confused
She just wanted to end it in a polite,friendly way,wishing you luck with your new life

My whole problem was, there has been 2 months of no meaningful conversation AT ALL between the two of us, then all of sudden she gets wind I am leaving and she texts me. Bogus stuff as there was no need to text me about it. Especially considering things she has been saying trying to make it seem like I want her back and text her all the time. And to IN A STATE, we truly are strangers as she has done a complete 180 from when we were together to the point I don't even know who the girl is, no do I care too.

Just be polite and keep everyone out of your business. Especially her.

Yea, thought I could trust a few people at that job, but obviously thought wrong. I sure how she didn't take me replying politely as an invitation to try and be friends lol.. it's just not in the cards ha ha...

It's funny you say that Tal, because while I try to not find out anything about her, she tries to find anything about me. Who I'm talking to, if I'm dating, who I date... etc.

Sorry Rome but I think she is being polite and deserves a little credit. I think you are still angry over how things played out, which is fine so longas that anger does not cloud your judgement.

From what I see she thought you may be moving and wanted to say something about it, some ex's would not even bother, would that make you feel better? I think if she said nothing you may wonder whether she even cared at all, this way at least you know she does. She was polite and so will you when you respond.

I did respond in a polite manner, my whole thing was me and her have not spoken in 2 months. And went to great lengths for her not to find out about me leaving and after talking to people and finding out who told her. She was even told that it's best not to speak to him about it because he didn't want you to know. So then she texted me anyway. And I thought about her being polite, but she is not polite anymore, she has become a two faced girl who has hidden agendas behind everything. It's amazing how much someone can change to someone you don't even know anymore.

Personal anecdote...

I got a message on my myspace page two days ago from the ex that caused me to take out a restraining order, change my cell number and provider, and also necessitated MANY sleepless nights accusing me "What, you don't even want to be friends??" (haven't spoken to him since November)

Umm... No the whole "restraining order, if you contact me again I will contact your superior officer" thing kind of dictates the whole "terms of my relationship" with you, don't you think??

Anyway... the reason why I shared this is because he went on to tell me all about his house, his life, his dog, his fiance' with her three kids, and everything. Personally, I believe he did it simply to let me know that he's doing fine without me. Great! Bully for him.

I ignored it. I deleted it as soon as it came and ignored it. He knows exactly what buttons to push because we were in love for so long. But you know what? It's OK! I ignored him and his attempt to make me feel cruddy and useless. I'm the bigger person here.

Maybe she was being polite. Maybe she was letting you know that she still has an "in" into your life. Maybe she just wanted to remind you that she's still out there. I don't know. All I know is in my situation, he can do what he wants, he can try and control my responses, he can attempt to dictate the way I feel on any given day, but bottom line, he is no longer controlling my emotional state. He no longer has influence. Because I took back my control.

Does that sound all "women's lib"? Hopefully not. Hopefully, you'll understand what it means to take back control of your life because you've done that. You've survived and are now standing. Don't let this circumstance make you go backwards... don't let it control you.

Chin up, RomeFalls... you can do this, too. Just like you have in the past. :)

Thanks Historian, I completely agree with the whole post. Only she knows what she texted me for, and I'm not prepared to go into hiding to try and figure out what she meant. It bothered me for awhile, I'm not going to lie, but then I simply let it go. I'm not going to be texting her or even trying to talk to her. If she feels the need to say hello, I shall respond accordingly. Just as ISneeze, I feel as though she was cheating on me with this other guy as things happened extremely quick. But that is neither here nor there, she violated my personal space by texting me, thus forcing me to reclaim that space ha ha

Awesome... I'm glad you're OK. These exes know what hurts, what makes us wonder, what shakes us up, and what makes us question the very foundation of our own newfound independence... and yes, it does throw us for a loop for a minute... but just a minute. Yes they can still confuse and hurt us, but by golly, we're stronger than that! :) (I'm hearing Kevin McAllister, you? ;) )

You da bomb, babe! :)

HA HA Home Alone... Clutch lol... Yea, they do know how to press our buttons, but the funny thing is, we also forget that we know what can press their buttons. Everyone wants to be needed, as as we come to terms with moving on, sometimes the ex decides to try and shove a wedge between our happiness and ourselves. Even if only for a moment they feel happier knowing we have stumbled. But remember, we have fallen as far as possible when they left us, so an occasional stumble isn't so bad

We seem to question everything when we get the least amount of contact. It brings up old feelings, and worries, we thought were buried, and dead. We seem to lose that control, we worked so hard to get. Back to the path.

Yup exactly Tal, no worries, I have come WAY to far to even begin to go down that hurtful path again