Ok so I'm 13 and my moms on-and-off-again "bf" has been touching me. He is 52 but he has only done it a few times. I'm pretty sure @ least 1 or 2 of the times he was kind of drunk though. He has even done it when I was standing right next to my mom, she didn't even notice. OK so I haven't said no (I don't think) I think I might have said "stop it" or "dont" but I honestly was so shocked when it happened I hardly remember saying anything. But I do know what he did and I'm not making it up. I'm not looking for attention either I'm just really confused. You see, the first time it happenedi was wearing a fairly low-cut V-neck top (which has me thinking from then on that it was ALL my fault). Also I told my two closest friends and they didn't really care, I asked my ex (who is still in love with me) what to do (cuz he cares so much, it was too hard to keep something like that from him because he knew there was something wrong), and finally I told my cousin (who is a year older) and she broke down crying and handed me the phone repeatedly telling me to call 911. I am so confused I don't know what to do, of if it was even considered abuse at all. Also my mom has "broken-up" with him but she's just going to go back to him she always does, and I'm scared of what's going to happen if he does coming back. I'm thinking of maybe running away.. . But then again would that solve much??

What do you mean by "touching?"

What do you mean by "touching?"


Like trying to shove his fingers up my vag and rub it , (with pants on) and me trying to get away then he pulled me back and did it again. This has happened more than once though.

like trying to shove his fingers up my vag and rub it , (with pants on) and me trying to get away then he pulled me back and did it again. this has happened more than once though.

This is abuse. Authorities do need to know that this is happening. Have you told your mom about this?

Yes, that's sexual abuse. Are you brave enough to report him? Maybe your cousin has had problems with him too, thus her crying and pushing the phone at you. Ask her. If he's doing this with you, he's doing it to others. Running away doesn't help anyone else he has done this to or anyone else he will abuse in the future.

P.S. Like Clough said, what about telling your mother?

This is abuse. Authorities do need to know that this is happening. Have you told your mom about this?


Nope. She's completely oblivious. She probably doesn't even care. I mean because if I told authorities then my mom would get pissed and it would start a whole new thing to argue aout between my mom and my dad ( they're divorced). Plus what would happen to my brother he's only ten.. . and on the other hand she probably wouldn't even believe me anyway. She doesn't trust me anymore ( I don't know why though) and she's constantly accusing me of lying even when I'm telling the truth. She hates me so I don't tell her anything. Also I couldn't talk to anyone in my family (except my because sometimes, but no adults) I'm not close with my family anymore, and I'm only close to a couple friends.

Yes, that's sexual abuse. Are you brave enough to report him? Maybe your cousin has had problems with him too, thus her crying and pushing the phone at you. Ask her. If he's doing this with you, he's doing it to others. Running away doesn't help anyone else he has done this to or anyone else he will abuse in the future.

P.S. Like Clough said, what about telling your mother?


My cousin hardly even knows him and lives in a different city.

Originally Posted by Clough
This is abuse. Authorities do need to know that this is happening. Have you told your mom about this?


Originally posted by Kitten316
Nope. She's completely oblivious. She probably doesn't even care. I mean because if I told authorities then my mom would get pissed and it would start a whole new thing to argue aout between my mom and my dad ( they're divorced). Plus what would happen to my brother he's only ten.. . and on the other hand she probably wouldn't even believe me anyway. She doesn't trust me anymore ( I don't know why though) and she's constantly accusing me of lying even when I'm telling the truth. She hates me so I don't tell her anything. Also I couldn't talk to anyone in my family (except my because sometimes, but no adults) I'm not close with my family anymore, and I'm only close to a couple friends.

Okay. I don't think that you can predict how your mom would think or feel unless you told her. How about telling an adult at the school that you attend as to what is going on?

Okay. I don't think that you can predict how your mom would think or feel unless you told her. How about telling an adult at the school that you attend as to what is going on?


I know I'm sorry I kind of over-analize things sometimes. I've thought about talking to my counsellar but then she probably tell my parents then so on and so forth.. . Sorry I'm kind of rejecting all your helpful answers its just that everything seems so hopeless right now.

Originally Posted by Clough
[I]Okay. I don't think that you can predict how your mom would think or feel unless you told her. How about telling an adult at the school that you attend as to what is going on?


Originally posted by Kitten316
I know I'm sorry I kind of over-analize things sometimes. I've thought about talking to my counsellar but then she probably tell my parents then so on and so forth.. . Sorry I'm kind of rejecting all your helpful answers its just that everything seems so hopeless right now.

The best thing for you to do is to report this to an adult who can do something about it. Don't you agree?

everything seems so hopeless right now.

What's hopeless? I see only improvement possible.

The best thing for you to do is to report this to an adult who can do something about it. Don't you agree?


You I guess so. Its just I'm not close to any adults. I don't really trust anyone. I don't know who I can talk to.

What's hopeless? I see only improvement possible.


Well latley it seems like with the push of a button my whole life could fall apart.

So you aren't willing or interested to do anything to improve your life. That's what I'm hearing.

I want to improve my life but it feels like I don't deserve to be happy. Its like there's a constant war going in in my brain and neither side is winning.

Do you have school tomorrow (today)?

Do you have school tomorrow (today)?


You, why? I usually can't fall asleep. Until @ least 3am.

So how can you stop that war? Have you ever tried in a helpful way? (I'm thinking no.)

So how can you stop that war? Have you ever tried in a helpful way? (I'm thinking no.)


I don't know how to stop it. But its not just over this its over everything.

I'm thinking that "no" is correct also, Wondergirl.

Kitten316, how you are going to be able to start to solve these problems, is by speaking with adults who are physically near to you who can help you.

If you have school on Monday, how about speaking with your counselor?

ya, why? i usually can't fall asleep. untill @ least 3am.

Have we talked before this, kitten? Do I know you?

Have we talked before this, kitten? Do I know you?


I don't know but I don't think so

Well, I have dishes to wash and a warm bed to head for, so Clough and kitten, it's all up to you until tomorrow evening when I return.

(I really was hoping we had talked before this, kitten, and that I know you.)

I'm thinking that "no" is correct also, Wondergirl.

Kitten316, how you are going to be able to start to solve these problems, is by speaking with adults who are physically near to you who can help you.


Well my "problems" seem almost "normal" now but I don't like the way that's happened. Also I'm not going to just start telling people everything it would seem weird like I just wanted attention.

Your original question was about abuse. Do you want the abuse of you and possibly others to stop?

Your original question was about abuse. Do you want the abuse of you and possibly others to stop?

Yes.

Originally Posted by Clough
Your original question was about abuse. Do you want the abuse of you and possibly others to stop?



Originally Posted by Kitten316
Yes.

Then, what do you think that you need to do in order for it to stop? If you do tell one adult that can do something about it, it's not going to be broadcast all over the world. I do hope that you realize that. Do you? Both Wondergirl and I have been teachers. We know how this stuff works. We have both seen a lot of things.

You need to report it. If your parents are separated then you would probably be sent to live with your dad worst case with your brother to protect you from this man. He may be abusing people other than yourself and I promise that counselors at your school can help and it sounds to me as if you are suffering from depression also but that's just all the more reason to see a counselor

If there was ever a reason to try to get attention, you found it.

Have you even told your mom? Try that and if she does nothing about it, the next step is to let someone at your school know, they'll take the correct steps after that.

I think that this guy is a MONSTER who preys upon children.. AT 13, that is what you are.. a CHILD NO matter what you wear, or how you look, YOU aren't responsible for the behavior and self control of a 52 year old man. I can tell you that YOU are not the first he has done this to, or the last.
I think maybe your mom is a bit starry eyed with him and feels complete with a man, so she isn't paying attention to the red flags that are right in front of her. SHE SHOULD have noticed when he touched you RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER.. NOT YOUR FAULT that he did that OR THAT SHE Didn't notice. Maybe she has a feeling or knows something but is in denial.
YOU cannot allow people to hurt you and you have had to grow up really fast, UNFORTUNATELY. BUT you need to reach out to a support group with others who have been abused and who can help you deal with this. You can't let this ruin your life. HE WILL try again and it won't get better. NEVER be alone with him, SCREAM the next time he touches you, keep your phone with you so that if he comes in your room you CALL 911.
DO NOT THINK for one minute that you are responsible for this. You may have made mistakes, lost your mom's trust and gone down a wrong path but YOU ARE NOT a bad person. YOu have your whole life ahead of you. YOu are smart and capable and you must protect yourself until you trust an adult who can.. Please remember to NEVER give up on yourself, your dreams or working to becoming the best person you can be!! YOU are an amazing girl who is smart enough to reach out to people on here, continue to use that strength and determination to protect yourself and many others who could be hurt from this man again.. HE IS SICK AND HE IS TAKING AWAY YYOUR INNOCENCE>. MEN ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO TOUCH YOUNG GIRLS!! You have a right to say no, defend yourself and keep him FAR AWAY FROM you. You cannot be responsible for what he does, says, or how your mom will react, YOU have to take care of you right now, until your mom wakes up... We will be here to guide you in the right direction.

PLEASE BE CAREFUL!!

You need to tell someone! I did and it helped a lot!