I have been seeing a co-worker for the past two months. Whenever I see him, talk to him or spend time with him I'm so happy but the problem is we're both involved with someone else.

Why are you both involved with someone else, then? That's my question. If you love each other (is it mutual), why are you being disrespectful to both yourselves and your significant others? I am not judging, just curious. And I know it's not that simple, but is cleaner to be able to focus on just one person rather than in your case, have to juggle four people in your relationship.

A word of caution: as someone who is currently going through an office-romance-gone-nowhere break-up, I suggest you think long and hard before getting into anything. If you're anything like me, the damage in general (career, discomfort amongst other colleagues, "I feel so bad for you" looks, drama over assignments, etc.) will be minimal. But let me tell you, it takes a huge, huge, huge indescribably huge on you. Trying to get over someone only to be reminded of their presence every single day is gut-wrenching and emotionally draining. As cautious as we were by not telling anyone, there is still an element of "taking sides" by those who are in the know. And there's still that vulnerability that comes with people knowing your personal business at your workplace. People can tell what's going on, and are quick to realize when things go sour, and the last thing you want to do is give your bosse(es) ammunition against you.

Good luck.

My co-worker and I are sexually involved but so far no one suspects as when we are at work we behave normal but on weekends or on the phone we are completely different. How do we go back to being friends when we are sleeping together? I love him so much and don't want what we have to end because he makes me so happy even though I can't be with him the way I want

i have been seeing a co-worker for the past two months. whenever i see him, talk to him or spend time with him i'm so happy but the problem is we're both involved with someone else.
Speaking from personal experience (dating co-worker), it's not a good mixture. What happens if you or he break off the relationship? You'll still see each other every day. When I was in this type of relationship, and when he broke it off, and started dating another co-worker, I know how I felt... hurt, mad, etc... Then he broke it off with her and got back with me... (dumbest move on MY part). Then, on top of that, you both are with someone else? If you two really care for each other, then both if you really should break it off with other person in your life. It's not fair to the other people involved.

Why don't you break up with your SO and be free for your coworker?

You won't be able to be friends, not after what has happened.

my co-worker and i are sexually involved but so far no one suspects as when we are at work we behave normal but on weekends or on the phone we are completely different. how do we go back to being friends when we are sleeping together? i love him so much and don't want what we have to end because he makes me so happy even though i can't be with him the way i want

You can do it. You have a decision to make: either continue and take the risk, she where it goes. Or stop it, go back to being friends, and work on your respective relationships. Both can be done, with determination.

My ex left me for one of his co-workers...

He at the very least had enough respect for me to leave before he got involved with her. As for advice, I really don't have anything nice to say so I won't say anything.

I don't have anything nice to say about two cheaters either. I feel sorry for the partners though.

I'm with Missing and Tal wholeheartedly on this one. Cheaters are disgusting and you should be ashamed. Either be real and end the other relationships or stay away. It's that simple. And mind you, you have no idea what the guy is telling his girlfriend, or would were he to get caught. Mine just did and he begged me to stay with him, saying she means absolutely nothing to him... (how would you feel about that if he was saying that about you? Not so good, I think.) Bottom line, I dumped him because any indiscretions are just not acceptable to me. Now I hope he's suffering in the realization of what he actually lost for some sideline thing that obviously doesn't mean anything to him and probably won't ever go anywhere... GOOD LUCK. You deserve whatever you get, and I bet it will be some heartache of your own. These types of situations never work out... Again... good luck.

Heard of "stolen moments are always sweeter"?

U think you love him but you are merely attracted to him because of the physical acts you two are involved in. No way you can turnaround and tell him to be friends. You may not even be able to stay as co-workers cause you will inevitably talk to him sometimes in the workplace.

Cheating is bad. We all know that. I am sure you do too. That is why you still find it to be exciting to pursue this physical contact. Let's say you finally broke off with your guy and this co-worker also breaks off with his partner, and you two get together. Do u think you will enjoy being with him for the long term?

The things to really consider are:
#1 Can you and him work out a future together?
#2 Is he boyfriend material or just a lover who takes advantage of u? (can he be responsible for finances and family responsibilities?)
#3 Do u want your current boyfriend to do the things you are doing to him? How would you react?
#4 If u really love this man, why lead him to cheat on his partner? Once he gets into the habit, he will cheat on you in future.
#5 Are you bored with your boyfriend? Spark up your relationship rather than look for "spices" outside the relationship.

"love" in 2 months?

Sounds like a fictional feeling because:

a) you are co-workers and
b) you are both involved with someone else and
c) it's been a whopping 2 months

Go for it, because it will be a mistake, and you will learn from it, and you will be back here to complain.

I, too, feel back for the other 2 people.

Yeah... no sympathy for cheaters here...

I'm not sure what your question was... I believe it was what are the risks?

1. you get caught... and probably dumped
2. the co-worker gets caught... and probably dumped and expects YOU to become single so that both of you can be together
3. the boss finds out... which may or may not end in a problem
4. you get yelled here

First of all, don't be in a relationship when you are involved in one with someone else. It is dishonest, disrespectful, and puts you and your partner at risk for STDs. The risk of course is that you get caught and risk losing at least one relationship and probably both.

If you want to break it off, good for you. You might not really be able to be friends with the guy afterwards. Sex creates an intimacy that makes that hard. I'm not saying it's impossible, I know people who have remained friends, but it's not going to be easy. Honestly, since you are both involved with someone else, I would just be co-workers and nothing more. If you spend time together at all, it's just going to tempt you to have sex again.

You need to look at why you cheated in the first place. Do you want to save the relationship you were in before this guy? Then go to counseling and work on it. Find out why you cheated. Did you feel that your other partner was ignoring you, have a lack of self- esteem, or something like that? People cheat for all kinds of different reasons and finding out what it was in your case might help prevent this in the future.

I hope you call if off with him, as I think that would be best for you in the long run. If you don't want to be with whoever else you are involved with, then call it off and just be single for a while. If you want to make it work, you'll have to quit seeing this guy. It's dishonest to keep doing it, and most people get caught in the long run anyway. Hope this helps.

I am in the wake of a workplace romance gone bad. I started seeing this girl I work with. She was involved but I wasn't. She broke up with her boyfriend because she wasn't happy with him because he didn't treat her like his girlfriend, and things were good between us, but then he began trying, and the entire thing has blown up in my face because she is giving him a chance and I have to deal with seeing her every day. My advice to you is to stop because there is a chance that things could work, but if they don't you have to deal with it EVERY DAY, and it stinks. And think of what could go wrong: if you leave your significant other, you might decide you want him back and then hurt the guy you work with, and you might not be able to get him back, and then you'll have lost them both. And the same thing might happen with him. Please, get the heck out while it's still possible.

This will blow up in your face and his too - maybe even at work. If this was so genuine, so in love, the real deal - why try and hide your shame?

There's so many reasos why NOT to get involved here.

I have been the adulterer, been cheated on and have been with a "taken person" and I can safely say that not one of them have ended in HAPPY tears... even if you are the one doing the cheating!

You have to ask yourself the qesution, that if you like someone else a little more than a friend and have taken it one step closer, then maybe your partner's not the right person for you and you need to seriously think about your relationship. I'm not saying that every time someone has an affair they need to realuate and leave, because sometimes it tales this to make you see what you really have got too!

This is going to involve not just you, but your partner, your affairs partner and their partner too... this can only ever be a recipie for disaster surely?

You need to take some time out from BOTH people and seek what you REALLY want - is it this affair or is that just a cry for help and maybe some attention?

Just don't end up hurting yourself... also think, if he can do this to his partner and you can yours, are either of you ever going to have enough trust if this goes any further?

Be happy hun

J x

If the two of you are cheating, then you can't be mad if your partners are cheating also. No matter how descreet, I'll bet that at least one of them, is suspicious, or unhappy.