So I've finally decided to give NC a try - we've been texting and seeing a bit of each other over the holidays, and upon realising that I just need to move on, I'm taking the plunge to try and save face.

Eventually I'd love to get back with my ex, but she wants space and now I feel that I have stuff I have to sort out. I want to start immediately, without telling her, but I'm afraid this might appear cold hearted, mean, and might have a permanent dent in any chance of reconciliation - however long in the future that may be

Any thoughts?

Thanks,

Joe

Well,since she told you to your face that she needs space and didn't just disappear leaving you wondering what happened,it would fair for you to tell her to her face that you think you should stop talking or meeting for a while,so you could each focus on your matters-considering the fact that you would get back together

No contact has to be cold turkey. You don't tell anyone that you're no longer contacting them. Just cut it off. That is all.

--Cali

Im a little confused about what NC exactly entails - I understand no seeing, speaking, texting etc. but if I'm on msn and so is she (even though I've blocked her and she doesn't know I'm on), does that count as NC - the fact that I know she's online? And what about Facebook? I don't look at her profile anymore but should I delete her as a friend?

Also, does it mean not reading any correspondence that she may send me?

Don't delete her as a friend,unless you think it would make you feel better... about the correspondence I don't know what to say... it might disturb you if you read it and who knows what she might write,you might get upset and confused by the situation.no contact means not reaching out to her by all means and trying to avoid her or memories of you and her together... trying to get on with your life and put all this behind you by leaving it where it is.over

I'm in the same spot as you. We broke up almost 2 months ago, and then over the holidays we started contacting each other a lot, but it just ended up in making things worse because it made me miss her. We last spoke a week ago and the last thing she said was she didn't know what she wanted.

At some point you need to realize you've said and done everything you can, and that its up to them. Also you have to have some pride and respect for yourself not to put yourself into those situations anymore. I learned that the hard way. I'm not intitiating anything with her, and sure everyday I have my tough times, but you have to realize that its just a HABIT to want to talk to them, and in time it will go away. Best of luck. In the meantime just live your life for yourself, and you'll be surprised how happy that can make you.

Get off the fence, and do what it takes to heal, and that's exactly what no contact is about. Stop worrying about her and her feelings, and deal with your own. Disappear from her life, and delete the online stuff , and forget her. No announcement is needed. The point is to heal, so you can see things for what they really are, and make good healthy decisions about you and your life.