My dad died before I was born by a couple of months.
That was over 50yrs ago he died at 32... really sucked. I have always had this hole in my heart that was never filled. I sometimes stare at the heavens and wonder what if... I am comfortable with how I turned out and have learned to roll with life. But I sometimes wonder if I could have been more with his guidance.

Maybe more, maybe less, we never know, Everyone has some what if's in their life, but the main thing is that we learn to be happy with who we are.

Were you raised strictly by your mother? Did she ever talk with you about your father? I agree that one needs both a mother and a father (though I'm sure the feminists and liberals will rip my head off for that one.) But, and research supports this, all other things being equal, children raised in single-parent homes that became single due to death are better adjusted and typically do better than those whose homes became single-parent due to divorce.

Hi. I don't really know what to say, but thought I'd send a hug your way. Do you have any siblings with whom you can talk it out? Not that it'll change anything, but talking helps. You seem well-adjusted. And surely, your life would have been much different had your father not passed away when he did. You'd have different memories; differences of opinions around the kitchen table; everything would have been different. But would the outcome would have been different? That is tough to answer. I think we are all meant to be the people we are meant to be from the minute we're born. And the course we take in life is somewhat pre-determined, but the result is still the same. That's my belief.

I, too, lost my father, but I got a chance to know him for twenty-two years. I remember my life started all over again the day he died. Everything was different. The way my shoe hit the pavement when it was raining. Eating a strawberry. Riding on a bus. Talking on the phone. Opening a door. It felt like all the things I had done a million times before I was doing for the first time, and it felt weird. Yet, I have now accepted that I am who I am despite of his death, not because of it.

Hang in there.

Yes I was raised by my mom... we had a family business. It was a good life. I moved back to tak care of her... the parent gets older thing. My mom and I talked some about it not a lot. She never remarried and was only married about 4 years when he died. I have an older sister but she is no help and in her own little world, which is OK.
Guess what got me thinking is every morning when I leave the house I have a bunch of framed pics in the living room and for some reason I noticed his pic a little more than normal... what ever normal is.. and wondered. I've looked at that picture for 50 years.
The image is frozen in time. I have some of his stuff from when he was a kid and ias a young adult so I have the history just don't have the memory.