View Full Version : Marriage while in College
mjl
Dec 28, 2007, 06:05 PM
So I was just browsing the internet and came across an interesting question. She wrote that before she went to college her dad told her she was not to move into an apartment/dorm with a boyfriend or get married while in college because if she did then he would disscontinue paying for it because then it would be up to the boyfriend/husband.
A person wrote back and said that she did get married in college and her parents continued to pay for her education.
What do you think? If you were a parent of a college aged kid in this situation what would you do?
Just curious
NowWhat
Dec 28, 2007, 06:32 PM
This one is a tough one.
My BIL's parents paid for his college after he married my sister.
I could see how someone would say they would stop paying for college. If you are old enough to go and get married and enter the "real" world - then shouldn't you be responsible for paying your way?
I don't know what I would do. I would want to make sure my daughter gets the best that the world has to offer and I think in today's world -having a good education is the way to get it.
life1973happened
Dec 28, 2007, 06:41 PM
Blame their father!!
Okay, I'm kidding guys...
Listen, what I know about all of us is that when we were young we had to learn things the hard way. As a parent myself now (kids still too young, thank goodness) is that you do the best you can raising them and bringing them up with strong faith and values. Once they turn 18 and you have to set them free, I think all you can do is hold your breath.
I do think as parents sometimes we tend to throw out threats, thinking it will scare a child into doing what we think is best. Then when it backfires and we are reminded of our threat we don't follow through. That pattern starts when are kids are young and is a very dangerous pattern to get into, as kids pick it up quickly. So I personally wouldn't have made a threat like the one mentioned above.
However, all others I'd think about! Bottom line you just do the best you can throughout their lives. If they make mistakes, as parents you help them pick up the pieces and start again. If they were right, than you learn to humble and trust that even as parents we hardly know everything. (Don't mention that to mine though, they are still under the notion that this family is a Dictatorship, not a Democracy)
However, I could be wrong and we can all just ask the Spears mother how parenting is suppose to work. I think she is releasing a best seller on the topic...
shygrneyzs
Dec 28, 2007, 06:52 PM
Supporting the daughter in college, to get her degree and then hopefully a good paying job is a lot cheaper than having her and her hubby parked in their living room. Eating their food, watching their cable, using their phone, and all the other fun stuff that goes with raising adult married children.
ISneezeFunny
Dec 28, 2007, 07:19 PM
Oof. I'm not a father. But... as a student myself, I agree with that method. If the person's old and mature enough to get married, they should be mature/responsible enough to get their own job and do their own thing. Only makes sense, right?
mjl
Dec 28, 2007, 07:24 PM
After I got married and moved in with my husband my dad stopped paying for things.. so you I guess I agree.
I just thought I'd bring up the topic because I thought it was intresting
George_1950
Dec 28, 2007, 07:57 PM
I know a woman who married; her parents paid for her college expenses (tuition, books, etc.) and her husband paid for her rent, food, insurance, etc.