Part 1: The CPU

This is a large box that comes with your computer for only one reason: the power button. The disk drive and cd-rom can be removed and placed in a drawer for convenience. Plugging in is only necessary once a week.

Part 2: The monitor

Commonly called the "TV thing", the monitor is radioactive and dangerous. It can either be plugged into the CPU or the wall, but not both. A green light means it's working, a yellow light means to smack it like a TV with bad reception.

Part 3: The internet

The internet comes to your computer through a modem, a detachable box inside your computer. The modem should be placed either next to the CPU or taken home over the weekend. DSL and cable modems plug into the wall through a regular phone cord. If a dial-up modem makes screeching noises, unplug and try again.

Part 4: Mouse and keyboard

While you do not need a keyboard, Windows can not be navigated without a mouse. Mouse should be placed on a large enogh mouse pad that you will never rach the edges of it. Picking up the mouse can break it. Keyboard should be cleaned in lukewarm water - NEVER use soap! Keys on the keyboard can be removed and placed in alphabetical order to make typing easier.

Part 5: Fax Machine

While not a technically a part of the computer, tech support will be more than happy to help you with your problems. Fax machines come with a "shredder" that destroys the original document if it is faxed correctly. If an intact document emerges, try sending it again. Please note that if instead of a screeching noise, a human voice comes on and yells agrily, you obviously have the correct fax number and that person is just confused.

Come on people get it right ;)

Ok not a question but fun none the less.

Sadly people will read it and think it's an actual user's guide. :(

LOL, great stuff! :p

Part 1: The CPU

This is a large box that comes with your computer for only one reason: the power button. The disk drive and cd-rom can be removed and placed in a drawer for convenience. Plugging in is only neccesary once a week.

Part 2: The monitor

Commonly called the "TV thing", the monitor is radioactive and dangerous. It can either be plugged into the CPU or the wall, but not both. A green light means it's working, a yellow light means to smack it like a tv with bad reception.

Part 3: The internet

The internet comes to your computer through a modem, a detachable box inside your computer. The modem should be placed either next to the CPU or taken home over the weekend. DSL and cable modems plug into the wall through a regular phone cord. If a dial-up modem makes screeching noises, unplug and try again.

Part 4: Mouse and keyboard

While you do not need a keyboard, Windows can not be navigated without a mouse. Mouse should be placed on a large enogh mouse pad that you will never rach the edges of it. Picking up the mouse can break it. Keyboard should be cleaned in lukewarm water - NEVER use soap! Keys on the keyboard can be removed and placed in alphabetical order to make typing easier.

Part 5: Fax Machine

While not a technically a part of the computer, tech support will be more than happy to help you with your problems. Fax machines come with a "shredder" that destroys the original document if it is faxed correctly. If an intact document emerges, try sending it again. Please note that if instead of a screeching noise, a human voice comes on and yells agrily, you obviously have the correct fax number and that person is just confused.

Come on people get it right ;)

Ok not a question but fun none the less. Believe it or not, this sounds just like some of the translated guides that I have read. Where do those companies get those translators??
At any rate, THIS WAS CUTE!

What dya mean,it isn't true... :confused:

Also,should have added,when replacing hard drive,take old copy outside into garden.Take sledgehammer,and smash it to bits.Remove to newly dug hole.Place mangled drive into hole.Fill with concrete :D

Nice one Ben.