HOW TO EVICT YOUR INNER WUSSY...
... OR...
HOW TO STOP DOING THE WRONG THINGS AND START DOING THE RIGHT THINGS TO ATTRACT MORE WOMEN AND KEEP THEM ATTRACTED!

I was talking to a good friend of mine a few nights ago, and he told me an interesting story. He was walking home recently, when he walked by a couple who were obviously in an emotional discussion. As it turned out, the woman was breaking up with the man, and he was trying to understand why. The interchange went something like this:

Her: "I'm not ATTRACTED to you anymore... I just don't FEEL IT."

Him: "But I would do ANYTHING to make this work... I'll do anything you want... just tell me what to do."

Her: "That's the problem. You just don't get it."

... and that was all he heard.

Have you ever been there? Have you ever had a girlfriend break up with you, or just drift away, and the more you tried to hold on, the further she ran from you? And the more you tried to be a "good guy" and please her, the more distant she became? Well, me too. I've been there MORE than once in my life. And it ALWAYS SUCKED. The worst part about it was NEVER UNDERSTANDING WHAT THE HECK WAS GOING ON! I can remember being that guy I just told you the story about... and asking "Why? Why are you confused? What do I have to do to make this work?" I was willing to change, act different, or whatever. Little did I know at the time, but it was this EXACT attitude that led to all the problems in the first place. If you've read my latest posts for awhile now, you probably know that women don't feel the emotion called ATTRACTION for guys who act weak, needy, insecure and "WUSS-LIKE". But unless you know this to begin with, then it's ALL TOO EASY to become a "nice", overly-accommodating, uninteresting, predictable, boring guy... and even though it seems logical that a woman should love to be treated like a queen at all times, you've probably found out, just like I have, that this combination usually leads to a woman either

1) Leaving you... or

2) Becoming increasingly controlling, domineering, and neurotic.

So what's up with that? Why does this happen? And more importantly, what can we do to avoid getting into this horrible position of losing a woman's attention because we're trying to be nice to her? Here's my take, after studying this stuff...

1. ATTRACTION ISN'T A CHOICE. In other words, we humans don't CHOOSE who we feel attracted to... and, JUST AS IMPORTANT, who we DON'T feel attracted to. ATTRACTION happens for reasons all its own, and these reasons have evolved inside of us over time. While culture, peer pressure, and trends can shape our natural drives slightly, the FUNDAMENTALS NEVER CHANGE.

2. MEN ARE ATTRACTED MORE TO LOOKS, WOMEN ARE ATTRACTED MORE TO PERSONALITY AND CHARACTER. Most men can't believe it, but to a woman your looks just aren't that important. Sure, if you don't take care of yourself, don't bathe, and let two of your front teeth rot out you might scare away the ladies. But for the most part, women will look past just about ANY physical issue if she feels that all-important emotion called ATTRACTION. And ATTRACTION is created by your PERSONALITY.

For women, ATTRACTION is triggered by male qualities like: Dominance, Humor, Unpredictability, Adventure, Strength, Sexual Awareness, Indifference, etc.

3. WOMEN AREN'T ATTRACTED TO WUSSIES.
'Nuff said.

4. WOMEN TEST MEN BECAUSE THEY HAVE TO. When a woman begins to feel a romanticc onnection with you, she faces an interesting problem... How can she tell for sure if your character and personality are the way you're expressing them? As we all know, men and women BOTH show off and exaggerate their "good sides" while downplaying and hiding their negative traits at first. This is why men suck-in their guts, brag, and show off... and why women wear makeup, do their hair, and shop all day for their clothes. If you were a woman, and you needed to figure out if a man was showing you his "true self", how would you do it? What if you had to know FOR SURE? The only way is to TEST on an ongoing basis, and to keep escalating the tests to be sure. Put all this together (with a bunch of other factors that I don't have time to talk about) and you get an interesting problem that women face... A woman responds to a man that stirs her emotions, and causes her to want him so badly that she'll put aside all logic and reason to be with him. But what if the man is just pretending? What if he only SEEMS to be this confident, funny, manly-man on the outside, but he's actually a push-over WUSS-BAG that is insecure and makes up for it by acting like a tough guy? Or worse yet, what if he's a WUSS all the time, and she just happened to settle for him because he was available and persistent... and she didn't have anything better going on at the time... but now she has other options? Well, these are the kinds of situations, that when played out, lead to the story that I started with... a man begging a woman to stay... pleading with her to explain what he has to do to keep her.
Of course, this is all WUSSY behavior, and it only serves to put the final nail in the coffin, convincing the object of your desire that you are ABSOLUTELY, beyond the shadow of any doubt, a Wuss. So what's the answer? The answer is to NEVER BE THOUGHT OF AS A WUSSY AGAIN!
If you want to make your dating life a whole lot better and easier, then stop and think about your behavior... and resolve right now to stop acting like a WUSS for the rest of your life. Being "nice" and "accommodating" and"understanding" is great for friendships and social relationships, but it's HORRIBLE for ATTRACTION.

An interesting, attractive woman doesn't want a guy that she can push around. She doesn't want a guy who does what she wants him to do. She doesn't want a little boy that she can train and raise. An interesting, attractive woman wants a MAN. This doesn't make LOGICAL sense, I know. But it's the truth. These submissive qualities will only work in attracting a woman IF SHE LIKES DRESSING UP IN LEATHER AND WHIPPING HER MAN... AND CHARGING $400.00 AN HOUR! And my guess is that this isn't the kind of woman that you're looking for.

I've explained some of the important qualities that you need to cultivate in yourself if you want to attract women... and keep them attracted.

AHHHH!

THINGS THAT ANNOY WOMEN...

Here are some of the things that many women consider to be "annoying":

- Calling her too often

- Telling her that you have "feelings" for her too early

- Giving away your power to her and making her the boss

- Always asking a woman what she wants instead of leading

- Acting submissive and weak

- Accepting her demands, bossy-ness, and manipulative requests

- Being her doormat and putting your own needs aside

"WHAT?" you say. "HOW COULD THIS BE?"... you might be thinking. How is it possible that demonstrating your affection for a woman by calling her, telling her how you feel, letting her make the decisions, and putting her first could be considered ANNOYING, of all things? Well guess what?

IT IS.

Women, and ESPECIALLY the most ATTRACTIVE and desirable women, usually consider the above things to be VERY annoying. Of course, the reason for this is because no matter how good these kinds of behaviors seem on the surface, there's only one conclusion that can be drawn from them:

THE MAN DOING THEM IS A BONAFIDE, 100%CERTIFIABLE WUSSY!

AND WOMEN AREN'T ATTRACTED TO WUSSIES.

NEVER.

Okay, so you evicted your inner wussy, or realized the things you were doing wrong in the first 2 months of the relationship. You haven't talked to your still GF in 3 days on the phone. Its christmas eve... everything inside of you is telling you to call her or text her, but you don't know what to do.

What should be your next move...

okay, so you evicted your inner wussy, or realized the things you were doing wrong in the first 2 months of the relationship. you havent talked to your still GF in 3 days on the phone. its christmas eve...everything inside of you is telling you to call her or text her, but you dont know what to do.

what should be your next move...

Your next move? Your next move is to do nothing, or better to say, do EXACTLY the oppositte of what your inner voices are telling you to do. Why? Because it's the inner wussy behaviour, and also your "unwilling to accept the fact" behaviour that keeps you telling to do the wrong things, things that in fact seem OK only from your point of view. By the way, its not only her christmas eve, its yours too. She knows you like the greetings too, and if she wants, she may send you an ecard, right? Let her mind work toward you, my friend. Let her mind live with the challenge!

Not even on xmas eve? Its just weird that up until last Wednesday, she would call me everyday that I didn't call or text her. But now its been 5 days since she initiated any contact with me. I texted her once Saturday, once Sunday. That last time we spoke was when she called me on Wednesday... what has changed since then? How could she have lost interest in me when nothing has changed since a week and a half ago when xmas break started...

My inner self is telling me to work out for the next month or so, find the new guy that's with your ex girlfriend, and pound his face away.

... that's not very "inner wussy"...

@ aiyerrc... I'd hate to say this... but this is my theory:

Men take longer to fall in love, and take longer to fall out of love.

Women fall in love in an instant, but also fall OUT of love in an instant.

In my experience, women can pretty lose "that feeling" for a guy within a week. By week 2, she's moving onto the next guy... doesn't matter if you and her have been together for 2 months or 3 years. Just happens.

not even on xmas eve? its just weird that up until last wednesday, she would call me everyday that i didnt call or text her. but now its been 5 days since she initiated any contact with me. i texted her once saturday, once sunday. that last time we spoke was when she called me on wednesday...what has changed since then? how could she have lost interest in me when nothing has changed since a week and a half ago when xmas break started....

Do you want my opinion, or you want me to say what you like to hear?

Opinion

Better yet, both

opinion

My opinion about your situation, although I know it not so deep, is to be distant. But to the point like you "lost" interest in her! Let her chase you, let her call you, you just stay there without doing nothing. Believe me. Chasing in your situation from your part, will make the things worse. What will happen if you don't chase?

1. She may wonder, and her mind may feel the challenge in you.
2. she may react on that, like she is "hurt" because you didn't called her, which is what we need, in order to make the next step.
3. You see the things as they really are. If she doesn't even notice your "distance", you have all the right to say she is not interested anymore, and you keep an eye on other people around you, in case the relation dies.


my inner self is telling me to work out for the next month or so, find the new guy that's with your ex gf, and pound his face away.

...that's not very "inner wussy"...

I didn't got this... work out for the next month, and find the new guy that's with my ex girlfriend??

I unserstand totally what you are saying, if it weren't xmas it would be easier... dont you think its an a$$hole move not to even text her on xmas? Or are we trying to come off like and a$$hole?

And wouldn't this piss her off to the point that she won't even want to call me?

i unserstand totally what you are saying, if it werent xmas it would be easier....dont you think its an a$$hole move not to even text her on xmas? or are we trying to come off like and a$$hole?

Let her do the things her own. Let her make the pace this time! Ask yourself this... How would you feel if you send her xmas eve ecard, and you don't get any respond? Or to make it worse, how would you feel if she sends you xmas eve card too, but like being friendly to you, and respect your effort? I would say again, let her make the pace, let her make the first step, and the second too, and the third tooo... until you are sure she is willing to show herself!

My thing is... would she text you on xmas? I mean, be honest. Would she? The thing is, she broke up with you, right? Texting her on xmas is NOT an @sshole move. It's not. You got to treat her like one of your co-workers or classmates that you don't really talk to. You wouldn't text them right? Granted, if you run into them on the street, you wouldn't ignore them... but you wouldn't go out of your way to say WHY HELLO THERE? HOW'S LIFE?!

Just keep it distant. If you text her, and she texts you back... great. So what? Nothing happens. If she doesn't text you back, you feel like crap. The benefit isn't worth the risk.

Damn. Same message... only a minute late.

and wouldnt this piss her off to the point that she wont even want to call me?

I told you once... you were there for her more than you should have been, and it didn't worked, did it? Now, do exactly the opposite, and have a look at the results.


damn. same msg...only a minute late.

Im a mind reader :)


and wouldnt this piss her off to the point that she wont even want to call me?

I'm going to write some more points about the dumpee and the dumper in a while, so have a look.

She didn't break up with me sneeze... she just hasn't initiated contact in 4 days, but she hasn't ignored me either...

I just feel sometimes like this is what she wants, separation, so she can break up with me easier, and she's being a good person and waiting until we see each other. But that's me being paranoid... the thing of it is, we have been that close couple before, 5 texts a day, 2 phone calls a day, balanced of course... texts like I miss you baby,, only 2 more days until thanksgiving break is over and I get to see you! Stuff like that...

But since I came to her with problems in the relationship I have been having, she has acted a little less like this, but still happy with me... I just hate not knowing, as usually, what's going on with her

i just feel sometimes like this is what she wants, seperation, so she can break up with me easier, and shes being a good person and waiting until we see each other. but thats me being paranoid....the thing of it is, we have been that close couple before, 5 texts a day, 2 phone calls a day, balanced of course....texts like i miss you baby,,,only 2 more days until thanksgiving break is over and i get to see you! stuff like that...

but since i came to her with problems in the relationship i have been having, she has acted a little less like this, but still happy with me...i just hate not knowing, as usualy, whats going on with her

Are you controlling, manipulative, or berating?

Maybe not manipulative, but maybe I try to subconciously control her... im not sure what berating means!

maybe not manipulative, but maybe i try to subconciously control her...im not sure what berating means!

Berating means to make her feel down by telling her what she has done wrong, etc.

Some ways we attempt to manipulate and control others and certain situations:
· Manipulation
· Sweetness
· Playing victim
· Niceness
· Forcefulness
· Threats
· Helplessness
· Illnesses
· Tragedies
· Rescuing tendencies
· Addictions
· Neediness
· Pushiness
· Assertiveness
· Hopelessness
· Flattery
· Becoming indispensable
· Financial manipulations
· Martyrdom
· Coercion
· Loyalty
· Total surrender

Are you into one of them ?


maybe not manipulative, but maybe i try to subconciously control her...im not sure what berating means!

Read through this:

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/winning-your-ex-back-everyone-who-thinks-worth-165536.html

Yea, I am guilty of berating then, maybe a bit of control, but is it only because I'm insecure about being in a relationship, or maybe I want everything to be perfect. Like I said, I realize all this now, after being away from her for 2 or 3 weeks, but I don't know what she's thinking about the whole thing.

I just want to be back at school, so I can show her I don't "need" her day-to-day..

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/girlfriend-asked-space-took-day-159221.html

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/girlfriend-wanted-space-now-wants-start-over-159461.html

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/like-gf-more-than-she-likes-me-162828.html

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/im-scared-160833.html

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/do-you-think-will-work-164053.html

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/shes-eating-lunch-her-ex-164383.html

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/so-its-been-since-thursday-night-165363.html

Matteus, I know that is a bunch of info, but if you have some time, just briefly look over these threads that I started, basically covering the last 2 weeks of my life and the relationship... I know its lengthy, and at times a bit repeptitive, but any insight into it would be great...

Basically, I'm looking for an analysis of where you think her head is at, what I should do, whatever you already haven't told me in this thread, and anything else you see necessary. Tell me your honest opinion, and what my overall best move is...

Again, I know its lengthy, so I appreciate it if you look at it at all.

Thanks!

By the way, WE ARE STILL DATING/bf.gf!!

yea, i am guilty of berating then, maybe a bit of control, but is it only bc im insecure about being in a relationship, or maybe i want everything to be perfect. like i said, i realize all this now, after being away from her for 2 or 3 weeks, but i dont know what shes thinking about the whole thing.

i just want to be back at school, so i can show her i dont "need" her day-to-day..

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/girlfriend-asked-space-took-day-159221.html

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/girlfriend-wanted-space-now-wants-start-over-159461.html

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/like-gf-more-than-she-likes-me-162828.html

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/im-scared-160833.html

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/do-you-think-will-work-164053.html

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/shes-eating-lunch-her-ex-164383.html

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/so-its-been-since-thursday-night-165363.html

matteus, i know that is a bunch of info, but if you have some time, just briefly look over theese threads that i started, basically covering the last 2 weeks of my life and the relationship...i know its lengthy, and at times a bit repeptitive, but any insight into it would be great...

basically, im looking for an analysis of where you think her head is at, what i should do, whatever you already havent told me in this thread, and anything else you see necessary. tell me your honest opinion, and what my overall best move is...

again, i know its lengthy, so i appreciate it if you look at it at all.

thanks!

I know you are expecting for an answer right now, and I know what it means to wait until tomorrow, but forgive me if I say I will have a look tomorrow morning, as now its already 02.07 AM here, so I'm dying to have a sleep. Talk to you tomorrow. I promise I will give it a look!

Understandable...

Your paranoia is baseless, is it not? You want her to be your doormat, because you are insecure, and you know that you are hers. Dude, if you gone in with the mentality, "I am going to show her I don't need her", you will lose her.

GO WITH THE FLOW! Don't let your head ruin your relationship. She is normal, you are too hard on her. I lost a girl recently out of frustration. She liked playing head games, I knew they were head games and I knew she really liked me. I think she still does. But I had enough of the games.

I might have been wrong though and perhaps closed the door on a good person. I feel bad, but I couldn't deal with the games anymore.

I think you're the one who is unsure about the relationship. Not her. Your own behavior is suspect. You turn the irrelevant into something huge. You're so unsure of yourself, you project your insecurities into the relationship. That's not her fault, its yours.

Stop turning a good thing into a sad thing because of unjustified fears.

--Cali

So cali, your saying I should call her? Because you nailed it on the head when you said, I am going to show her I don't need her... thats what I'm thinking by not calling because that's what everyone said to do... it doesn't feel right, but everyone told me I should do the opposite of what I feel. We are bf/gf, and not calling her on xmas or xmas eve would be ludacris in most couples... I know you have a decent insight into my entire situation... what should I do?

Well, don't wait until its too late, as a woman, I want to be chased, to feel that u need me... & I want to know that my man is bold enough to go get what he wants... (me) so if u haven't called me in 3 days & even on christmas eve, I am convinced that u don't really care for me & its time to replace you no matter how painful. There are too many guys willing to be with me, I chose you & you decide to be distant with me... thats not the best move if you really want to win my heart

Call her. She's your girlfriend. I'd call my girlfriend on xmas. Why wouldn't you? To show her you don't care because you have weird misconceptions on her behavior? Stop tripping. The only reason I broke-up with my ex, was because it would have been long distance.

She played way more head games than your girl does. But I knew they were games and it never bothered me. But I couldn't play the games anymore from 500 miles away. I always had control of the relationship while she was here. I wish she had never left because I have no doubt we'd still be together. Well, I guess nothing is 100%, but I'm pretty sure we'd be together.

You need to have that confidence in your relationship. You're the man. She's your girl. She wants to be with you. Call your girl. Be a man.

And honestly, if calling your girlfriend on xmas is a bad thing, you're with the wrong girl.

--Cali

I disagree with Kisha. You don't have to chase your girlfriend. She's your girlfriend. You have to be interesting. The "chase" is at the beginning. Stay interesting though.

--Cali

I need help on what to do with my "wussy" boyfriend. My guy fits your exact description of a "wussy" guy. He calls me ALL the time, says his feelings ALL the time, is very submissive, etc. While these qualities are not quite annoying yet (since we've only been dating for two weeks), they have been a dealbraker in the past. About a year ago, we tried dating, however, I ended it when I became completely turned off by these "obsessive" qualities.
... Right now, I have a lot of feelings for this guy. I love how kind and honest he is and I really want to make this work... but, I'm afraid that these wussy traits will eventually turn me off. How do I get him to stop acting this way without losing what I love about him, and without hurting his feelings?

I'd say do him a favor and dump him now so he can be free to find the woman who appreciates his sincerity and kindness. Let him start the healing process now so he can meet the girl who is right for him.

I think you ought to go out with a few jerks and get your heart stomped on so that you'll appreciate the nice guys later. If your boyfriend is being subsmissive he's just making you a priority and putting your needs first. That's what a relationship is about.

He deserves a girl who will appreciate the fact that he values her opinion and puts her needs and wants first. He will see your dumping act as a blessing in disguise one day. Don't string him along anymore.

Its not that I don't appreciate his sincerity now. Him actually caring, telling me what's on his heart is what I love about him. I have dated jerks who really could care less about me and those are not the kind of guys I want to be with. Im just worried that because all the other guys I have dated played "hard to get" that later I will think this guy that I'm dating's behavior is "too easy" and will dump him.. . Maybe I'm going about this the wrong way. Maybe I shouldn't be asking how to change him, but how to change myself.
The thing is, why are some girls like this? We have a great guy right in front of us, but yet we date guys who treat us like crap and who couldn't give a rip about us? I just really want to make this work. I am trying so incredibly hard. I have never opened up to anyone about my feelings but yet I find myself pouring out my heart to him. My mind is just really my worst enemy and I just don't want to fall back into my previous way of thinking.

This just wrong... u girls no that us guys don't read minds don't play game... and you keep playing it and you know what messed up? U make us do things like.. should we contract u ? Should we not ? Either way we dead b.c if we contract u ? We are wussy... if we not you think that we don't chase you b.c we don't care about you and you can go out and pick up other guys whenever you want and however you want ?

Well Matt, you got the natives all riled up again, but your so right. The bottom line is be yourself, and that means, knowing yourself. That alone will stop all the game playing, because you already know how far you'll take things. Secondly and even as important as knowing yourself, is being healthy of mind to make good decisions for yourself, and to have the coping skills to deal with what life throws at you. Our whole life experience is to learn, and be happy.

yea, i am guilty of berating then, maybe a bit of control, but is it only bc im insecure about being in a relationship, or maybe i want everything to be perfect. like i said, i realize all this now, after being away from her for 2 or 3 weeks, but i dont know what shes thinking about the whole thing.

i just want to be back at school, so i can show her i dont "need" her day-to-day..

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/girlfriend-asked-space-took-day-159221.html

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/girlfriend-wanted-space-now-wants-start-over-159461.html

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/like-gf-more-than-she-likes-me-162828.html

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/im-scared-160833.html

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/do-you-think-will-work-164053.html

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/shes-eating-lunch-her-ex-164383.html

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/so-its-been-since-thursday-night-165363.html

matteus, i know that is a bunch of info, but if you have some time, just briefly look over theese threads that i started, basically covering the last 2 weeks of my life and the relationship...i know its lengthy, and at times a bit repeptitive, but any insight into it would be great...

basically, im looking for an analysis of where you think her head is at, what i should do, whatever you already havent told me in this thread, and anything else you see necessary. tell me your honest opinion, and what my overall best move is...

again, i know its lengthy, so i appreciate it if you look at it at all.

thanks!

btw, WE ARE STILL DATING/bf.gf!!!!!!!!!!

I already read through your posts, and as I said I would give you an answer. Well, in fact I posted to one of those posts of yours. Anyway, I would say something more... Stop this thing of "we are still dating"... you know what I mean.

So Matt, I got a question if I may. I know there's no guarantee that she'll come back to me but I'm hoping she will. Anyway, my g/f said she wanted a break 2 weeks ago, I asked her why and she said that she's confused and she thinks that she's not mature enough to handle a serious relationship (we've been together for 2 years). So I agreed and she said she wanted to still talk and be friends, stupidly, I agreed again. I kept telling myself that she wasn't stringing me along until I confronted her 5 days ago asking about some guy that she said she was kind of interested in before, I asked her how she really feels about him and she said that she didn't know, but she thinks that she really likes him. So yeah, I became angry and told her that she's a fool for doing this because I've always tried to there for her and everything, basically I acted like a wuss and cried and yeah, when I think back to it, I'm not proud. So 2 days after that, on Sunday (the 23rd.) she wanted to hang out, so I acted as if nothing was wrong and it really upset her and she said I was acting weird, so I told her we would talk about it later... when I talked to her later I told that I realize that she wants space and I'm going to give it to her, but I also said "as far as im concerned, this is your loss" and told her that I hope she uses this time to think logically instead of sticking to childish "crush-like" feelings, so basically I told her, if you want to break, you got it. She was upset, cried, and asked me if she could call me later and I told her that it was up to her. Since 2:30pm on the 23rd there has been no contact, I even fought every urge to call her today on Christmas.

Do you think me wussing out for those 2 weeks will effect her decision, if she decides to get back together with me, for some reason I'm fairly confident she will, but I just can't tell if my head feels that or if its my gut.

By the way, I find myself practicing my speech if she calls and wants to get back together, almost every time I think about her, so a lot, is this normal? I tend to over think as it is.

So Matt, i got a question if i may. I know theres no guarantee that she'll come back to me but I'm hoping she will. Anyway, my g/f said she wanted a break 2 weeks ago, i asked her why and she said that shes confused and she thinks that shes not mature enough to handle a serious relationship (we've been together for 2 years). so i agreed and she said she wanted to still talk and be friends, stupidly, i agreed again. I kept telling myself that she wasn't stringing me along until i confronted her 5 days ago asking about some guy that she said she was kind of interested in before, i asked her how she really feels about him and she said that she didn't know, but she thinks that she really likes him. So yeah, i became angry and told her that shes a fool for doing this because i've always tried to there for her and everything, basically i acted like a wuss and cried and yeah, when i think back to it, im not proud. so 2 days after that, on sunday (the 23rd.) she wanted to hang out, so i acted as if nothing was wrong and it really upset her and she said i was acting weird, so i told her we would talk about it later... when i talked to her later i told that i realize that she wants space and im gonna give it to her, but i also said "as far as im concerned, this is your loss" and told her that i hope she uses this time to think logically instead of sticking to childish "crush-like" feelings, so basically i told her, if you wanna break, you got it. she was upset, cried, and asked me if she could call me later and i told her that it was up to her. since 2:30pm on the 23rd there has been no contact, i even fought every urge to call her today on Christmas.

do you think me wussing out for those 2 weeks will effect her decision, if she decides to get back together with me, for some reason im fairly confident she will, but i just can't tell if my head feels that or if its my gut.

btw, i find myself practicing my speech if she calls and wants to get back together, almost every time i think about her, so a lot, is this normal? i tend to over think as it is.

Trying to be in contact is not a bad decision since you want to be with her, but you need to be distant. She wanted this break, you owe NOTHING to her to try to contact her. If she needs space, she gets it. You are not busy, and if she wants to see you to talk about you two and where you stand, you can then consider seeing her. I wouldn't have been so arrogant though and say "this is your loss" that's messed up to say. And you saying that is sort of a way for her to notice it IS a big deal for you. When my girl says things, I can read her like a book and I know she is saying something completely different in her head.

Yeah, she cried because it's hard for her too, remember that you're both in this relationship together, and that whether one of you wants a break doesn't mean you're fine and the person being put through the break or whatever is the only person hurt. I would just give her space, if she likes some other dude and doesn't have the courage to just be up front with you, then just go do whatever you got to do. You don't want to be sitting here with your thumb up your butt waiting on her do you?

Meet people, you may just find out that she really isn't what you want in your life. And you should also take this time to see not only how she's been acting but how she's been treating you in the relationship. If it's what you want, be distant but she should still know you're not an @$$hole.

Kevin

Save yourself a lot of confusion, and leave her alone, and do your own thing as if she doesn't exist. Don't let her confusion be yours, just let her make up her mind with no pressure from you. That does mean dissappearing from her life, and being unavailable to her. That's what she asked for, and that's what she gets.

No contact, get a life. Happy, single and independent.

No contact, get a life. Happy, single and indepedent.

Well... it goes in phases

Phase 1: no contact. No contact is easy. It's just being alone that sucks.

Phase 2: getting a life. Keep busy. Do something, anything. Join a gym. Find a pen pal in prison. Do whatever

Phase 3: single... yeah. It seems like no one will want you. And trust me, no one does. Not until you get yourself straight, quit moping, checking your phone, etc. get cleaned up, work out a little, be a bit happier. Then, women will flock. Trust me.

Phase 4: independent + happy: you've hit the jackpot.