Well I'm 13 and I have a older sister that I care about lots, and she is 21 but she looks young, so my sister has been going to the clubs , drinking, every weekend, because her friend who she lives with now amy, has ruined my sisters life , says to her she can't have a boyfriend, so she listens to her , so amy is controlling my sisters love life,
Anyway jade went out with this guy about 4 years ago (justin) and she had the time of her life, until he said we can't keep going until I get out the navy.Because it was 2 hard on them both travelling 5 hours from his work every day to see each other. 4 years passed
SO he is now out of the navy, and because jades friend amy is now in her life,she don't want anything to do with him,
He rings, she don't pick up. He asks to catch up, she don't reply his messages.
MY sister is being a real stuborn!.
JUSTIN rang me just the other night , crying saying kayla I'm literally heart broken I don't know what to do. She is the love of my life. No 1 compares to her.
He even writes her letters but she don't bother she just doesn't take the time to think about what she really wants .
If she stays and has fun every night with amy, getting pissed every weekend she will end up with nothing.
If she goe's with justin her life is set, he has heaps of money gets paid 3000 a week, he cares about her so much, he is very good looking he is perfect for her, she doesn't know what she is missing, and you can tell she loves him , she always asks me, if I'v heard from him.
I really don't know what to do, he told me he would marry her tomorrow, she loves him just can't say because she thinks she is having fun with amy, when really she is missing out on having the best life she could ever have.
How can I make her relise he is perfect for her?. I've tried talking to her she says I don't want to be in a relationship I like being single.
She is 21 he is 24 , she has to grow up and act her age , 18 year olds party not 21 year olds she should be getting married, and starting a family :(
I'm really worried and justin is so so nice, caring it makes me cry.

What do I do??

Your concern for your sister is admirable and you are wise beyond your years. However, when push comes to shove there is really nothing you can do. It's your sister's life and she needs to make her own choices, for better or worse. You could always discuss your concerns with her ; however, that's not likely to change her mind and she may come to resent you for interfering. I'm afraid that you're going to have to let your sister make her own mistakes.

Kayz, you at 13 are definitely more mature for your age. Even while its d time in your social circle to have fun, you did take time for your sister and her wellbeing which is amazing and so respectful. You sure do have a good feeling for Justin & for your sister Jade, but you need to know the other side of the story as well. In order for Jade to make the right decisions in life, she has to be seen from her perspective as well. It will be worthwhile to evaluate your relationship with Jade at the moment. How does she consider you to be? Does she share most of her thoughts with you cause you are mature over your age or does she not. Does she confide in you any time? Does she consider you a worthwhile person for a second opinion? Does she come to you to clarify her doubts, although you are quite younger and not agewise similar. Answers to these questions will help us know whether you are the right counselor for her. If not, we need to find the person who plays a neutral advisor to Jade. All efforts of bringer her focus to this part of life is dependent on whom she is going to look forward to listen to. Lets look at Amy.Lets understand how Amy controls Jade. Maybe they share an opinion, an ideology, something which is so strong that Jade can't avoid it. We need to understand what that is and how that impacts Jade. Trust me, Amy can be the right person to work Jades life back too. If we could persuade Amy to look towards this side of life for Jade, maybe it will work wonders even faster. Do write back to me on your thoughts regarding this,and maybe we can fine tune our approaches neater. Does that sound fine to u?

Well me and my sister aren't very close actually because she can't take the time, to even listen or if she doe's talk to me its usually something very hurtful.
But she does take me to the beach every second weekend but she never tells me anything, so I can never get up the courage to ask her for advice.
I know exactly what jade can't avoid and that's the attention she gets when she is with amy, because that's all they do drive around, music up, windows down, being so immature its not funny, but still justin is very hurt, why she won't pick up the phone , etc. so I really want to know what's so bad about justin? He didn't do nothing but LOVE HER DEEPLY!.

It sounds like you are more mature and wiser than your sister! It's too bad she's missing out on a relationship with someone who loves her. But, if she wants to be single, there's really nothing you can do to change her mind. I hope she says that because that is what she really wants, not just what her friend tells her to think.

A while back, I had a very controlling friend who sounds a lot like her friend Amy. She tried to always tell me "You need to stay single, you have your whole life, etc." I finally told her to stay away because I was sick of the controlling advise. She later admitted to me that the reason she kept telling me to stay single was that she was afraid she would be alone a lot if I found a boyfriend before her. Maybe that's what the deal is with your sister's friend.

I agree that going to the clubs and getting plastered every weekend isn't good for your sister. Perhaps it is because she is 21. The whole club scene is probably still new to her and therefore more exciting.

Maybe if she was with Justin for a long time she just wants some time for her. Maybe that's why she wants to be single so bad. It's too bad she doesn't feel the same way as him. If he moves on, she will have missed out on a good guy, it sounds like.

Be there for your sister and listen to her. But, sadly, you can't force her to become more mature. Just give her your opinion if she asks, but don't pressure. You are obviously a really good sister for caring so much! Keep it up! :)

Thanks.. xox and yes that's exactly it amy is doing exactly that what your friend was doing to you,
I said to amy myself, I said why can't jade have a boyfriend, she said cause then ill be left all alone, and besides nothing is going to stop us from having fun now!
I said fair enough then.
But I do really think if Amy gets a boyfriend she will leave jade all alone, so the it swings both ways!

Yeah, hopefully your sister sees the light and realizes this girl is being selfish! And I think you're right, if Amy got a boyfriend, she would probably ditch your sister. When my former friend got one, I didn't hear from her for a year! (part of the reason we're not friends). True friends want each other to be happy and won't hold each other back out of selfishness. I hope your sister ends up with this guy, he sounds like a catch!

I would print out these pages and give it to her, perhaps she will see how much you care.