My son and his wife abruptly cut off personal communication with us in April, 2007 after a 90th birthday party for their grandfather. Only our son and our 16 year-old grandchild represented that family. We have asked our son why many times but he just says now is not the time to discuss it. They moved to the east coast 2 years ago so we hardly if ever see them. They have been to the west coast many times but never contact us in any way. It is now Christmas--we are inclined at this point to cease any contact with them in an effort to elicit some kind of explanation. There are older grandchildren that we have been sending monetary gifts to for birthdays, graduations, Christmas, etc. but never get a thank you or even acknowledgement that they received the gift. We are heartbroken.

2 of our sons were in business together but had a major falling out and we are thinking the son in question thinks that we have chosen sides. Nevertheless, it is the lack of trying to resolve this issue that we are having a problem with.

What do we do regarding any gift-giving this Christmas?

I would send gifts to the grandchildren, and a note to the son stating that this is your last attempt at communication with him and his family.

Explain your hurt, and ask that you be contacted, as you really have no idea why he has ceased communication with you. State clearly that all you are asking for is an explanation.

I'm sorry for your hurt, and hope that somehow your son and his family realize that they need to meet you halfway to close the gap between you.

I would send the gifts without that comment about the last attempt.

Maybe there are reasons that go beyond anything you would want to know, but all you can really do is examine your own past actions to decide if there was anything you might have done that could be viewed as taking sides.

You can always tell him how much you miss him and hope to hear from him... Are you able to call or send emails?

It's impossible to guess what someone else is thinking, I don't think cutting off communication is the answer...