God and Glocks: Why Churches Should Not be Gun Free Zones
By Doug Giles
Saturday, December 15, 2007


Seems like the whiny babies among us have decided to lethally arm themselves and take out their post-pubescent “nobody likes me” rage on innocent people in schools, shopping malls and now.. . Churches.

Yes, in the last ten days we have seen Napoleon Dynamite look alike Robert Hawkins kill eight innocent people at a mall in Omaha and then blow his own head off. Here’s an aside.. . Why can’t these warped records start with killing themselves? I think I speak for all Americans when I say, hey psychopathic mass-murdering jackass who intends to kill others and commit suicide: Do us all a favor and start with suicide. Begin there, with your death, okay?

Moving from the shopping malls to the hallowed halls of the Church, this past weekend we saw the brutal slaying of Christians at New Life Church and at a YWAM training center in Colorado. The culprit? Matthew Murray, a twenty-four-year-old pathetic toad.

I’m sorry. I’ve got to apologize. I sound way too harsh, don’t I? Y’know I really shouldn’t be so judgmental—especially since I’ve just received some pertinent information about why Matt killed four innocent people and wounded multiple others.

I just found out that Murray grew up in rather harsh conditions. Yep, it seems that young Matt was living at home with his mommy and his neurosurgeon daddy in the lap of frickin’ luxury in an opportunity-rich environment. Wow. Who could handle all that stress?! That’s enough to make any of us snap.

In addition, I’ve just heard that there were three more major reasons he was so incensed:

1. His parents wouldn’t let him have the Playboy Channel on his 96” plasma TV (unconfirmed).

2. They limited his text messaging to 200,000 texts per month (unconfirmed).

3. YWAM rejected him three years ago from being a part of their organization for health reasons.

It appears that M-squared had no other recourse but to act out aggressively. Who among us can blame him, huh? That’s enough to push anyone straight over the edge.. . Isn’t it? I mean, c’mon.. . Think about what he had to slog through in life: Opulence + Parental discipline + Limited cell phone use + A little rejection = Murderous rampage.

What’s that, you say? You think that the above sounds like a bunch of psychobabble and therapeutic twaddle? Yeah, I guess you’re right and that I was correct in being rabidly judgmental after all; he was an idiot, and we all should simultaneously loathe and forget him for what he did. Thank God the media is not giving this turd too much attention.

This latest church shooting serves as a screaming wake up call to all Kum-Ba-Yah pastors, priests and parishioners who haven’t woken up to the violent reality of the 21st century. Our culture has become the Wild West all over again, except this time around the culprits aren’t cowboys but cry babies who have decided to pack it in because life is hard and unfair.

Given that young people are opting for murder verses sucking it up and getting a life, ministers had better morph PDQ from imitating Mr. Rogers to mimicking Clint Eastwood’s character in Pale Rider.

Which brings me to this question, pastor: Exactly what kind of armed arrangement do you have in place when Beavis shows up at your worship service ready to kill congregants because he couldn’t sing in the choir?



What’s the plan, man of God, when some Son of Sam commanded on high by his English-speaking black Labrador enters your comfy Community Church with his 9mm with ten loaded clips?

What are you going to do? Pray? Run? Cower behind the pulpit or under a pew waiting for the cops while the dillweed empties his clip into your crowd? If New Life Church would have done that, Murray, armed with multiple guns and a thousand rounds of ammo, would have made Virginia Tech and Columbine look like a walk in the park.

This is the ultimate What Would Jesus Do query, eh?

I think if Jesus were placed in a similar situation as the New Life Church security guard, he would whip out his Glock and double tap the center mass of any wannabe killer who was attempting to put a bullet in one of his defenseless disciples.

I know that doesn’t fit with your bearded lady, soft focused, Precious Moments figurine version of Jesus that you’ve been worshipping for the last twenty years, but it does square with the Christ of my Bible. (By the way: I read The Redneck Common Sense, Good People Live, Bad People Die version of the Bible. It’s printed in Texas, and you can get a copy at www.You’dBetterWakeTheHellUp.com).

Look, pastor, let me help you out: The job of the shepherd is to serve and protect sheep, and in this permissive, paranormal and “progressive” postmodern milieu that means not only with TLC and sound doctrine but with several semi-autos and some Cor-Bon hollow points. I know it’s not a pleasant thought, and they didn’t tell you this stuff in seminary, but this is the world we live in, and this is the hand we’ve been dealt, so.. . Play it like a poker champ. Be relevant.

If you or your church do not know where to begin or would like some advice on how to protect the few or many people in your pastorate, go to Welcome to Church Security Services (http://www.ChurchSecurityServices.com) and have them help you assess your situation and get appropriately armed to the teeth.

Lastly, obviously, I’m thinking as good Christians we should send a message to all the evil Matthew Murrays out there that we are here to help them and will walk them through whatever funky stuff they’re having to field.

However, if you, the struggling and confused guy with guns, won’t let go of your demons, know this: We are watching you, we are prepared for you, and we will have no problem whatsoever dropping you in your tracks as soon as you draw your weapon on innocent people. Yes, the wages of sin is death, and we’re now here to inflict it if you force our hand.

Amen.

Sorry kindj, how many Scribes and Pharisees did Jesus kill? Can you give me a book, chapter and verse where he raised his hand against another man?

What we need to do is identify these hurting losers and do something about them.

Wonder how much time his father spent with him?

Did King David ever take Solomon and Absolom out behind the palace and teach them how to use the sling? Solomon turned out OK but his brothers and sons didn't.

What we need to do is identify these hurting losers and do something about them.

Yeah... perhaps a bit of lead-therapy will help.


Wonder how much time his father spent with him?

"I wonder if his mother breast-fed him as a baby."

"I wonder if he was a thumb sucker."

"I wonder if he had sexual fantasies about his sister."

"I wonder if he ever saw his parents having sex as a kid."

You know what? I really don't care what might be the reason the little $h!t snapped. Once you pull a gun on innocent bystanders, you've lost my sympathy. I really don't care if this runny-nosed little brat had mommy and daddy issues. He pulled out a 9mm and pulled the trigger.

The only thing that anyone should feel for this punk is recoil.

Elliot

What we need to do is identify these hurting losers and do something about them.

I'm all for that. In fact, so is the author:

Lastly, obviously, I'm thinking as good Christians we should send a message to all the evil Matthew Murrays out there that we are here to help them and will walk them through whatever funky stuff they're having to field.

However, the point made is a valid one: What will you do if and/or when an armed thug walks into your church and starts killing?

True, Jesus never struck another person during his time on earth. Came real close at the temple one time, and I can't help but wonder what he would've done had folks not backed off. The truth is, we don't know what he would've done if he'd happened upon a murderous lunatic wreaking violence upon innocents because the Bible doesn't record any instances where he was in that situation. But do we really, truly think that if Jesus saw an adult raping a child, he wouldn't have made the attacker stop? If he saw a woman being violated, would he do nothing? Granted, he possessed supernatural powers that we don't have, but I'm betting he would have most certainly made the bad guys stop. But again, we don't have an account of Jesus getting physical with evildoers.

Not yet.

The Book of Revelation makes it very clear that evildoers will be quite uncomfortable when he returns again.

He left earth as the Lamb of God. He will return to it as the Lion of Judah.

In the meantime, which is the greater sin? To take action to protect the innocent against the evil strong, or to see evil taking place right before your eyes and do nothing?

"Wonder how much time his father spent with him?"


I'm sorry to be rude, but who gives a sh!t?

I teach public school, and I've got kids who have absolutely great parents (I know them), and their kids absolutely suck as human beings. Likewise, I've seen parents who I wouldn't spit on if they were on fire, and their kids are great.

Parenting is only ONE influence out of many. And before we try to identify what all those influences might be, we need to look at the hard, cold, reality of the matter: Those who perform evil have made CONSCIOUS CHOICES to act as they have.

Sucks to live where you guys live. :)

Sucks to live where you guys live. :)


Actually, I'm doing quite well. Thanks for the concern, though. ;)

KIll 'em all and let God sort them out.

Why bother sorting them at all?

I think God really prefers Smith and Western to Glocks,

I know many police officers who are also part time pastors and they all carry their weapons under their robes.

Doug Giles sounds exactly like the type of person he is running down in his article. We all already know what he wrote. Was there a need for him to say it with such venom. I think not! His little outburst then was similar to the outburst of the attacker, just on a lesser scale.

He didn't offer solutions or anything slightly intelligent.

I have to say though kindj, That if the kids you know suck as human beings then ill take you up on your assertion that they have good parents. The parents may be good people, but they must be sh1t parents in my opinion. A good person doesn't equate to a good parent. Not even close! Perhaps your kids parents should stop polishing the Glock for a minute and take to using a good old fashioned kick in the ar$e. That's what will help your future Americans more than giving them more guns to take to church.

First of all, I didn't say ALL the kids I know suck--only a handful. And of that handful, I personally know three of their parents as friends. I bet I'm a pretty good judge on their parenting skills. Suffice to say that they are doing all they can for their kids, and doing it in love.

Second, I really don't think Giles is "exactly the type of person he's running down." In case you missed it, he's all for reaching out in love and trying to help heal the hurts that plague such people. However, he is NOT willing to allow innocents to be slaughtered by them, and that takes nads to stand up and say.

If the kids suck, how good can the parents be?

If the kids suck, how good can the parents be?

Is it really that hard to see that one's own personal choices are not just A but THE major factor in a person's life? Environment can (and does) influence a person, but ultimately the decision and the choice is up to the individual.

Of course, we can always just sit around and wring our hands and try to decide who's to blame. In the meantime, the predators are feeding.

Who's going to stand up and stop them? Who's going to have the courage to say, "Who cares WHY they're doing this? They ARE killing MY wife, MY kids, MY friends, and ME, if I let them. I'm not going to let them." Or better yet, who'll have that same courage to act when they're not killing one's own kin or friends, but someone else's?

Looks like the age of accountability and personal responsibility is indeed gasping it's dying breath.

Fine.

Let the hand-wringers and social workers address the "why's." I have no problem with that. But when the jackass starts killing innocents, I don't really care about the "why's." I care about making them stop. I care about the preservation of innocent life in a crisis.

Looks like I stand alone.

I think God really prefers Smith and Western to Glocks,

.

Me, too. The Glock doesn't fit me well. I'm a big fan of S & W, especially their wheel guns, but their semi's ain't bad. Although given a choice, I like the fit and comfort of Springfield and CZ a little bit better. They just feel like they were designed to custom fit my hand.

Interesting, your God is a gun-toting killer. I knew it!

That's why I don't believe in such nonsense, you guys attribute what you want to your god to make you feel happy. Well if that's what you need in life then go ahead I guess, just don't bother the rest of us please, just kill each other.

Everybody seems so quick to blame anything and everything except the predator himself. I can't help but wonder why that is?

Dennis,

I'm a small guy with an extremely small hand and weak wrists. The Glocks work for me because of their size and relatively soft recoil compared to the S&Ws that I've tried. Naturally that's just my opinion, and I'll grant you've had a lot more experience than I have with firearms. But I like Glock.

I'd love to try a Walther some day... the James Bond Walther PPK has always intrigued me, but I've never had the chance to try it. Have you?

In any case, from my perspective, and coming from the background that I do, I don't buy into this nonsense that we have to "understand" why bad people do what they do. It is not my responsibility to do "outreach" for insane or evil people with guns and death wishes. It's my responsibility to make sure that I survive my encounter with them.

I don't want to hear about their family problems. The only thing I want to hear is their bodies hitting the floor. I don't usually walk around armed... I live in NJ and work in NY, after all, and its almost impossible to get a carry license in either of these states. But that's why I studied martial arts for 20+ years.

I remember an incident from the Fall of 1989... I was walking home from college and got jumped by 4 guys. They weren't interested in my money. It turns out that they had spent the day jumping Jewish guys with yarmulkas and had put two Jewish kids in the hospital earlier in the day. Apparently, I was supposed to be number 3.

It didn't quite work out the way they wanted. Two of the four ran away. The other two weren't as lucky and ended up in the hospital themselves... I look at it as evening the score: two of them for two of us.

Anyway, I didn't spend any time wondering whether their daddies spent enough time with them. And I have never had a single nightmare about the incident. The only outreach I did was with my foot in their a$$. They didn't deserve my pity.

The only bad thing is that my Sensei was disappointed in me for not bringing home any souvenirs... you know, like teeth, ears, fingers, bone fragments, whatever. (My Sensei's a bloodthirsty son of a b!tch, but in a kind, friendly, smile-while-he-rips-your-am off-and-beats-you-to-death-with-it kind of way. We love him.) Ah, well. You can't win 'em all.

Some people just don't get that concept. Fighting is bad. Killing is bad (except unborn babies... but that's another topic). Criminals are just misunderstood. If we are nice to them and give them help, they'll stop being criminals. They need to be reformed, not punished. They need to be coddled, not controlled or better yet eliminated.

Ridiculous.

I think the world is going insane. Not only have people lost their sense of responsibility. Not only have they lost their common sense. People have also lost their sense of self-preservation. Without a sense of self-preservation, how can anyone survive.

Elliot

Who is not blaming the gunman?

Who is not blaming the gunman?

The guy who said "I wonder whether his father spent enough time with him."

Elliot

The guy who said "I wonder whether his father spent enough time with him."

ElliotAh. Kingj said "Everybody" so I was confused. It's actually one person.

Perhaps I over-generalized while under-explaining.

It seems that whenever an event like this occurs, the media and hand-wringing social limp-wrists are fluttering about seeking whom they may blame while completely disregarding the concept that this was a deliberate choice carried out by one person.

social limp-wrists You don't like gay people either?

Perhaps it's different in different places. When I was coming up, a "limp-wrist" referred to one who lacked the intestinal and/or testicular fortitude to stand up and take action--ANY action--on anything. They are much better at talking while people are being hurt, oppressed, or killed, then stand around and "Monday-morning quarterback" every decision that was made by those who did find the strength to act.

As an aside: while I don't condone the homosexual lifestyle, I bear no personal grudge or vendetta against those who--for whatever reason--are homosexual.

Before any questioning comments arise, this is a great time to say that my oldest son is gay, and he and I get along quite well...

Sucks to live where you guys live. :)

I love where I live, thank you.

Interesting, your God is a gun-toting killer. I knew it!

That's why I don't believe in such nonsense, you guys attribute what you want to your god to make you feel happy. Well if that's what you need in life then go ahead I guess, just don't bother the rest of us please, just kill each other.

NK, God doesn't need a gun... but I think it a far more loving thing to do to prevent the death of innocents by shooting an intruder bearing an assault rifle, handguns and 1000 rounds of ammunition that's opened fire than to ask him if he'd like to talk it over.

I was referring to the other posts that mentioned which gun god loves to use.

I was referring to the other posts that mentioned which gun god loves to use.

Ah, seems He prefers floods, plagues, earthquakes, bows and swords.

I prefer the "there is no god" approach myself.

...bows and swords.

I like bows and swords, too.

I just don't bring them to a gunfight!

****Disclaimer for any heretofore unseen nit-pickers that might be lurking around: Then again, I'm obviously not God, nor was I suggesting that by use of a firearm I could defeat a sword-bearing God. The above was simply some black and twisted humor, and not meant to be taken literally, out of context, or twisted around in any manner whatsoever.****

It is simple:

There is a God

He states that there is good and evil, a war so to speak.

Love " does not delight in evil"

Shooting innocent strangers at a church , a mall etc.. Is evil

The righteous, just, loving thing is to stand up to evil. That is kill the murderer before they kill more people.



Having never been shot at myself, thankfully, I would hope that if I was armed and in that particular circumstance, I would have the courage to face up to evil.


And not be trying to justify the motives of the murderer as other people or myself were being killed.

I'm curious NK:

If you were in a public place, with your family, and you had a gun, and someone was shooting at you and your family,


What would you do? Would you waste time wondering if the gunman was to close to his mother, had a distant father, was poor, got dumped, did not make the team? etc...

Even Darwin would say shoot the b.st.rd - survival of the fittest.

Ah, but NK wouldn't be caught dead with a gun. (He might be caught dead without one, but that's another matter... ) So that issue would never come up.

If confronted by a gun-toting maniac, NK would likely do one of two things:

1) Run/hide--- nothing wrong with that. Discretion IS the better part of valor.
2) Be shot.

For him there really are no other choices.

For one who is armed, a third posibility opens up... the posibility of defending oneself. The possibility of killing the other guy before he kills you. The possibility of surviving is Run/Hide doesn't work. The possibility of stopping the killer before he shoots someone else for whom Run/Hide didn't work.

And that is the point of being armed... to open up new avenues for survival that don't exist for the unarmed person.

Elliot

An oldie, but a goodie:

Question: You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner and is running at you while screaming obscenities. In your hand is a Glock 40 and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?

Liberal Answer:

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that is inspiring him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want to kill me or would he just be content to wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a few days to try to come to a conclusion.

Conservative Answer:

BANG!

Texan's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click... (sounds of magazine being ejected and fresh magazine installed)

Wife: "Sweetheart, he looks like he's still moving, what do you kids think?"

Son: "Mom's right Dad, I saw it too..."

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy!"

And that's a LIBERAL Texan family. If they'd been conservative, the whole family would've opened fire.

Dennis,

Shame on you. Even a non-Texan like myself knows you always go for the double-tap.

So the correct conservative answer is: "Bang-Bang", not "Bang."




As far as the Texan answer that I would expect...

"FIRE IN THE HOLE" ---- BOOM.



Or how about this...

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

Neighbor: Hey, Bill, you want a hand with that?

Dad: Thanks, George.

Neighbor (to other neighbors): Hey guys, check this out...

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BOOM! Rattatatatatatatatat! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BRAAAAAAPPPPP! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BAM! BANG! BANG! BANG!BANG! Rattatatatatatatatat! BANG! BANG! BANG! (chick-chok) BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BRAAAAAAPPPPP! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BOOM! Rattatatatatatatatat! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BRAAAAAAPPPPP! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BAM! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Rattatatatatatatatat! BANG! BANG! BANG! (chick-chok) BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BRAAAAAAPPPPP! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BOOM! Rattatatatatatatatat! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BRAAAAAAPPPPP! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BAM! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Rattatatatatatatatat! BANG! BANG! BANG! (chick-chok) BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BRAAAAAAPPPPP!

Dad: Whoa there guys. That's enough.

Daughter: Ewwww! Messy!

Son: Yeah, but cool!

Mom: I'll get the bucket and squeegy. You pick up the cartriges.



But hey, what do I know?

Or better yet!:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BOOM! Rattatatatatatatatat! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BRAAAAAAPPPPP! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BAM! BANG! BANG! BANG!BANG! Rattatatatatatatatat! BANG! BANG! BANG! (chick-chok) BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BRAAAAAAPPPPP! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BOOM! Rattatatatatatatatat! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BRAAAAAAPPPPP! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BAM! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Rattatatatatatatatat! BANG! BANG! BANG! (chick-chok) BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BRAAAAAAPPPPP! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BOOM! Rattatatatatatatatat! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BRAAAAAAPPPPP! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BAM! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Rattatatatatatatatat! BANG! BANG! BANG! (chick-chok) BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BRAAAAAAPPPPP!BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BOOM! Rattatatatatatatatat! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BRAAAAAAPPPPP! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BAM! BANG! BANG! BANG!BANG! Rattatatatatatatatat! BANG! BANG! BANG! (chick-chok) BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BRAAAAAAPPPPP! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BOOM! Rattatatatatatatatat! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BRAAAAAAPPPPP! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BAM! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Rattatatatatatatatat! BANG! BANG! BANG! (chick-chok) BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BRAAAAAAPPPPP! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BOOM! Rattatatatatatatatat! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BRAAAAAAPPPPP! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BAM! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Rattatatatatatatatat! BANG! BANG! BANG! (chick-chok) BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BRAAAAAAPPPPP!BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BOOM! Rattatatatatatatatat! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BRAAAAAAPPPPP! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BAM! BANG! BANG! BANG!BANG! Rattatatatatatatatat! BANG! BANG! BANG! (chick-chok) BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BRAAAAAAPPPPP! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BOOM! Rattatatatatatatatat! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BRAAAAAAPPPPP! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BAM! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Rattatatatatatatatat! BANG! BANG! BANG! (chick-chok) BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BRAAAAAAPPPPP! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BOOM! Rattatatatatatatatat! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BRAAAAAAPPPPP! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BAM! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Rattatatatatatatatat! BANG! BANG! BANG! (chick-chok) BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BRAAAAAAPPPPP!BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BOOM! Rattatatatatatatatat! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BRAAAAAAPPPPP! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BAM! BANG! BANG! BANG!BANG! Rattatatatatatatatat! BANG! BANG! BANG! (chick-chok) BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BRAAAAAAPPPPP! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BOOM! Rattatatatatatatatat! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BRAAAAAAPPPPP! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BAM! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Rattatatatatatatatat! BANG! BANG! BANG! (chick-chok) BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BRAAAAAAPPPPP! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BOOM! Rattatatatatatatatat! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BRAAAAAAPPPPP! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BAM! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Rattatatatatatatatat! BANG! BANG! BANG! (chick-chok) BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BRAAAAAAPPPPP!BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BOOM! Rattatatatatatatatat! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BRAAAAAAPPPPP! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BAM! BANG! BANG! BANG!BANG! Rattatatatatatatatat! BANG! BANG! BANG! (chick-chok) BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BRAAAAAAPPPPP! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BOOM! Rattatatatatatatatat! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BRAAAAAAPPPPP! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BAM! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Rattatatatatatatatat! BANG! BANG! BANG! (chick-chok) BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BRAAAAAAPPPPP! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BOOM! Rattatatatatatatatat! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BRAAAAAAPPPPP! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BAM! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Rattatatatatatatatat! BANG! BANG! BANG! (chick-chok) BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BRAAAAAAPPPPP!BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BOOM! Rattatatatatatatatat! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BRAAAAAAPPPPP! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BAM! BANG! BANG! BANG!BANG! Rattatatatatatatatat! BANG! BANG! BANG! (chick-chok) BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BRAAAAAAPPPPP! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BOOM! Rattatatatatatatatat! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BRAAAAAAPPPPP! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BAM! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Rattatatatatatatatat! BANG! BANG! BANG! (chick-chok) BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BRAAAAAAPPPPP! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BOOM! Rattatatatatatatatat! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BRAAAAAAPPPPP! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BAM! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Rattatatatatatatatat! BANG! BANG! BANG! (chick-chok) BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BRAAAAAAPPPPP!BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BOOM! Rattatatatatatatatat! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BRAAAAAAPPPPP! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BAM! BANG! BANG! BANG!BANG! Rattatatatatatatatat! BANG! BANG! BANG! (chick-chok) BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BRAAAAAAPPPPP! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BOOM! Rattatatatatatatatat! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BRAAAAAAPPPPP! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BAM! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Rattatatatatatatatat! BANG! BANG! BANG! (chick-chok) BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BRAAAAAAPPPPP! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BOOM! Rattatatatatatatatat! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BRAAAAAAPPPPP! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BAM! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Rattatatatatatatatat! BANG! BANG! BANG! (chick-chok) BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BRAAAAAAPPPPP!BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BOOM! Rattatatatatatatatat! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BRAAAAAAPPPPP! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BAM! BANG! BANG! BANG!BANG! Rattatatatatatatatat! BANG! BANG! BANG! (chick-chok) BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BRAAAAAAPPPPP! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

Yeah that is what it could have been if Jeanne Assam did not intervene.

Or better yet!:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BOOM! Rattatatatatatatatat! ...

Actually, Texans are much more efficient and conservative with their ammo. It's people like VP's from Wyoming you need to watch out for :D

NK,

And the problem with that is..