Myself and my girlfriend both of us enjoy watching porn movies together. Is there anything wrong with that in the long run?

Long term, porn viewing destroys the participants ability to relate emotionally and spontaneously with human beings in a sexual manner. I think eventually, the individual becomes increasingly impotent and increasingly desperate, and then increases his porn viewing in hopes or recapturing a destroyed sexuality which only worsens the situation.

There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with 2 consenting adults who like to watch porn together. The only time it becomes a problem is if you need it to get you in the mood, and you can't get in the mood without it. Otherwise, it's a healthy addition to a normal, fulfilling sex life

I'm not so sure I agree with choux. It really depends on how the couple views porn. Do they sit on the couch, after dinner, with a glass of wine, and just chill watching porn? Or do they use it to enrich their sex lives? If it's the latter, I see nothing wrong with it.

Anyone who thinks porn is harmless is kidding him or herself. The "long term effects" are pretty horrific. I'm talking about bad effects on relatively normal people, not folks with anti-social or narcissistic personality disorder, and so on.

Societal warnings about activities are there for a reason... it is difficult to take them seriously when young and feeling bulletproof, or wanting an easy way out of a difficult problem... For example, smoking cigarettes... long term effects are very bad. Incest... bad. Quitting school... bad. Watching porn... bad. Taking drugs... super bad. And so on... **Long term effects**... that's what kills you.

Yep. It's not healthy at all. Sexual intimacy is designed for 2 people and only two people to share with each other. Introducing other people, even if only in pictures, will create emotional issues down that road. Don't do it.

ANYTHING that's not done in moderation is bad.

Taking religion too seriously? Bad. Giving to others to the point where you're suffering yourself? Bad. Denying yourself good food because it might make you fat? Bad.

I see no problems with porn, especially if it's done as a couple, if your relationship is otherwise healthy.

Like candy, charity, helping your family, dieting, whatever--it's good if it's done in moderation, or as a treat. HAVING to have it is bad, but so is being addicted to ANYTHING.

Yep. It's not healthy at all. Sexual intimacy is designed for 2 people and only two people to share with each other. Introducing other people, even if only in pictures, will create emotional issues down that road. Don't do it.


No---sexual intimacy that works for YOU is designed for 2 people. My husband and I (we've been together 11 years) have no problem viewing porn. Other people I know manage the swinger lifestyle and the polyamory lifestyle just fine.

It's a matter of what's okay FOR THAT PARTICULAR COUPLE. If they BOTH enjoy it, both love and trust each other, and have no other problems, it's not a problem. If there is self-esteem issues to begin with, or lack of complete trust, or overwhelming jealousy--then it's not good.

Porn is FINE when it's okay with BOTH people. If one is uncomfortable, or just doing it to please the other, or when someone NEEDS it to get off, then it's bad. But if everything else is okay--where's the issue?

Ok... so this is just MY opinion, and I'd really appritiate it if I didn't get any nastly letters afterwords. It is fine if you don't agree with me, we all have different views on this kind of stuff.

I agree with some of you guys on some points, and others on other points. However, I think porn is not a good idea. All it is is having to look at someone else to get your "jollies" off (don't laugh... it's a term I use all the time!). That is what your partner is for. You shouldn't have to look at someone else to get in the mood. In fact I told my husband, and he agrees with me, that I think looking at porn is equal to cheating. I wouldn't want my husband to look at that and he has no interest either. If he wants to look at a naked women, he has a wife to look at. Looking at any other naked person and getting turned on whether that person was on a TV screen or right in front of you is in MY opinion cheating.

The person on the screen is not an imaginary person... it is an actual human being that is being humiliated in front of the world. It is someone's daughter, or sister. Would you want your daughter or sister involved in that kind of stuff, and then your best friend watching it, and thinking it was all right? I'd hope not.

The only long term sexual acts I would worry about is unproteced sex. You can always find negative long term effects in sex. Communicate with your partner and try to be honest in what your looking for and things will either work out, or they will not.

I think the important question is, what does porn mean to you? If you look at it fully cognizant of the fact that it is contrived, the participants are paid to do it and it is a form of entertainment, fine. The guys in porn flicks are just as "victimized" as the women. Sure, some folks are coerced or don't realize that they are selling a visual of their body. Most know exactly what they're doing.

In our developed countries, where porn exists, the incidence of rape and physical abuse is quite high. In certain third world countries where parents and teens have sex right in front of children, the incidence of rape and physical abuse is almost non-existent. Why? That's what is wrong with porn. Porn isn't "bad," the mystery, sinfulness, worship and secretiveness we surround sex with is.

I work in the Adult industry in the market research dept. of one of the countries largest providers of adult video on demand. The way I feel about it is that anything can be bad if not done in moderation. I don't see anything wrong with a couple using porn occasionally to spice things up in the bedroom, but if it becomes frequent to the point of becoming an obsession, then yes it can be harmful in the long run. It's kind of like alcohol. I see nothing wrong with an occasional drink in social settings, but drinking frequently can cause you to become an alcoholic... it's the same with porn... moderation is the key.

I think the important question is, what does porn mean to you? If you look at it fully cognizant of the fact that it is contrived, the participants are paid to do it and it is a form of entertainment, fine. The guys in porn flicks are just as "victimized" as the women. Sure, some folks are coerced or don't realize that they are selling a visual of their body. Most know exactly what they're doing.

In our developed countries, where porn exists, the incidence of rape and physical abuse is quite high. In certain third world countries where parents and teens have sex right in front of children, the incidence of rape and physical abuse is almost non-existent. Why? That's what is wrong with porn. Porn isn't "bad," the mystery, sinfulness, worship and secretiveness we surround sex with is.

Ah I'd be careful about that idea, check out places like Ethiopia and Rwanda and others-I doubt that rape and abuse is "almost non-existent". I know people who were children and have witnessed sex between adults-the sexual abuse of children follows really close by! So watch that. Some abusers feel that if a child sees the sex-then that child is old enough to have it/be sexually abused as well-this is pedophilia at its worst.

Anyone who thinks porn is harmless is kidding him or herself. The "long term effects" are pretty horrific. I'm talking about bad effects on relatively normal people, not folks with anti-social or narcissistic personality disorder, and so on.

Societal warnings about activities are there for a reason...it is difficult to take them seriously when young and feeling bulletproof, or wanting an easy way out of a difficult problem.....For example, smoking cigarettes....long term effects are very bad. Incest.....bad. Quitting school...bad. Watching porn.....bad. Taking drugs....super bad. And so on.....**Long term effects** ..... that's what kills ya.


Are you seriously trying to say that my porn watching for nearly 20 years is going to kill me? OMG no you are not!! I'd really like a list of these people who die of porn watching!

stonewilder,
I just happened to notice the rating on mjl's post, and I think it was rude of you.

I think it is pretty bad that you guys think that porn is so great. Its pretty bad that anyone needs porn in their lifes to be happy.

Anyone who thinks porn is harmless is kidding him or herself. The "long term effects" are pretty horrific. I'm talking about bad effects on relatively normal people, not folks with anti-social or narcissistic personality disorder, and so on.

Societal warnings about activities are there for a reason...it is difficult to take them seriously when young and feeling bulletproof, or wanting an easy way out of a difficult problem.....For example, smoking cigarettes....long term effects are very bad. Incest.....bad. Quitting school...bad. Watching porn.....bad. Taking drugs....super bad. And so on.....**Long term effects** ..... that's what kills ya.

...

Incest is bad. Taking drugs is super bad.

So smoking some weed is worse than boning your sister? Nice.

Okay... since no one is posting any "facts" (and, in fact, I doubt there could really be any here) this is an opinion thread.

Let's all take it easy on the reddies, okay?

This could start getting nasty really fast, and there's no need for that just for a difference in opinion.

If someone posted hard evidence on why it could be good or bad, that might be different.

But really--this is like all relationship questions. What works for one couple could be really bad for another couple, and vice versa.

Posting what works for YOU is fine, as is posting why you feel that way. Dictating to others how their sex life should be based on YOUR preferences is crossing the line, in my opinion.

Basically--let's just try to be nice here, okay?

My position on the porn issue is that it limits a person's ability to develop their super orgasmic and sublime sexual experience/ identity. Excess porn watching creates inward directed masturbaters. Years of that and the good and loving parts of a person are ruined. Sexuality and love and kindness are all part of the same complex human emotional sexual response. Separating these emotions from the act of sex eventually kills sex. An individual becomes a lonely mechanical masturbator, barely able to function in a sexual contest.

NOTE:: Heterosexual porn is simply directed toward men and is *glorified masturbation*... in and out in and out pump pump... the porn actress playing the part of the man's hand, in effect. Women are an object with whom the man has no emotional interest... all the various scenarios porn scenarios play to the masturbation fantasy... the penis machine, the female toy.

Choux disagrees: The "walking dead", dude; good and positive emotions gone forever.

Oh please, and I'm not a dude dude.

Total Bullcrap... me and wife watch porn together all the time... and trust me her tastes in it are different than mine but we both entertain each others fantasies and desires...

Watching porn has helped her be more upfront in what she wants and how she wants it. That lets me cater to her specific tastes a little better and vice versa. We have a much more diverse bag of tricks so to say in that we try different things that strikes the others fancy that we see in porn... those we like we try again and again.

Sure beats the poor soles that think sex is only missionary with the woman on her back.

Variety is the spice of life. That's why after 17 years of marriage sex is better than it ever was. And way better than it was in the beginning for both of us.

Notice I'm not saying watch it alone in private. But together.

Hello anette:

The only thing wrong with porn is that it causes waaaaaaay too much screwing.

Sooooo, given your name, I don't guess porn causes too much pumping and thrusting... Choux will be disappointed.

excon

I wonder why habitual porn users are so defensive to the point of being nasty to me. Why don't they want to up the quality of the female's sexual response. (and possibly, the male's too?)

By the way, I was no prude or I wouldn't have learned so much about female sexuality. :)

I didn't think I had been nasty--but I'm not a habitual porn watcher, either.

It's an occasional thing that my husband and I do TOGETHER. Honestly, we giggle about it most of the time. BUT--it does bring us closer together because we'll try things that look interesting, or we'll giggle about whether something is actually physically possible.

After 13 years of watching porn, I don't think I've lost my emotional attachment, or have less pleasure than anyone else out there. I don't think I'm "de-sensitized" or less good and loving.

Why not say that romance novels have the same detrimental effect? Or "happily ever after" movies? Don't THEY put unrealistic expectations on a relationship as well?

YES, porn in excess is bad--but so is everything ELSE in excess.

Frankly--the fashion industry and the media focusing on the size 4 woman has more of a detriment on my sex life than porn does.

Just curious, what's wrong with a size 4 women?

Nothing is wrong with size 4 women--except that most of us are closer to size 14.

Ever try to find something sexy to wear that is DESIGNED for a size 14, and isn't just sized up, with more material, etc, for a size 14? When I *can* find it, it's 4x as expensive as the stuff for size 4 women. And I'm not just talking about lingerie or panties--I'm talking about dresses, and tops, and bras that fit, support, and still manage to look sexy.

I can't even shop at Victoria's Secret--they don't carry my size.

The media puts an unrealistic expectation out there of what's sexy--and unfortunately, many women buy into that. If they don't look like a model, they want to have sex with the lights off, under the covers. They don't have as much confidence with men in general, because it's hard to believe that a guy would want to be with YOU when he could be with someone who is "sexier"

It took YEARS of my husband and guy friends reassuring me that I still look good even though I don't weigh 110 lbs for me to believe it--and self confidence is the sexiest thing there is, I find. Unfortunately, if you did a comparison, women in smaller sizes would tend to have more self-esteem than women larger sizes--though women of ALL sizes seem to buy into it, and feel as though they don't measure up to the models and movie stars out there.

So... nothing is wrong with size 4 women, just as nothing is wrong with size 14 women, though society tends to want to tell the latter that they're too chubby and should aspire to the former.

Wow we can get totally off topic easily right!
I understand what you are trying to say. You ask if I have ever tried to find something for size 14, and to answer that, no. I actually never thought about it until reading your post. It actually made me think differently about it.

I agree with you on that society's views need to change, but I think that they also need to change their views on thin people as well. It is just as hurtful to larger people when they are called "fat" when really they are not just like the comments I get for being skinny. I am 5"5' and I weigh 107 pounds. I am a size 2. I don't try to be skinny, it actually just genetics. My mom and grandmom are slim too. I have gotten rude comments all my life for being "stick thin" and as a teenager they hurt the self esteem too. I have come to accept how I look and understand that it is just who I am, and how god created me. Believe me, the names I've been called regarding my weight are just as hurtful.

Lol, and to tell you the truth, I have never shopped at victoria secret either!

I wonder why habitual porn users are so defensive to the point of being nasty to me. Why don't they want to up the quality of the female's sexual response. (and possibly, the male's too?)

By the way, I was no prude or I wouldn't have learned so much about female sexuality. :)




Female sexuality? Most of what you say makes no sense or sounds like something you got from a book nobody wants to read. Porn is much more interesting and educational.

Size 4? My wife is a size 0 , 5 foot nothing, weighs 100 and eats as much as I do. Oh I can hear the roars now. Yeah she does exercise a lot and does have a high metabolism. And I love it. She takes after her father not her mother like her sisters have. He was always thin as a rail. My wife loves Victorias secret. Her biggest gripe is she wants bigger boobs. I'm fine with what she has. Which are a really nice exceptionally firm A cup. Small but then she is small too.

Myself and my gf both of us enjoy watching porn movies together. is there anything wrong with that in the long run?
No, nothing at all as long as you do other things together. Too much of anything can be bad. Keep enjoying yourself. That's what life should be about. But keep the drapes closed, as there are people who are not as happy, and they have nothing else to do, but tell you how to be happy in your own home.