I have a chihuahua and I just got her in October and I really don't have any idea how old she is but I am having problems with her. She will not come around me or my boyfriend when he is here which is most of the time. And she sometimes if afrid of my daughter who is three and other people. What can I do or what can my boyfriend do to get her to come around and not be scared of him and other people?

It is very important for a puppy to be around people between 6-12 weeks. This include men, women, and children. Fixing the damage later is tough. It also sound like she may not be accepting you as leader. If you choose to have your boyfriend around, that is for her to accept. The key to most behavior problems is approaching things using the dog's natural instincts. Dogs see all the people and dogs in the household as a pack with each having their own rank in the pack and a top dog. Life is much easier if the 2 legged pack members outrank the 4 legged ones. You can learn to play the role of top dog by reading some books or going to a good obedience class. A good obedience class or book is about you being top dog, not about rewarding standard commands with a treat. Start at Raising Your Dog with the Monks of New Skete (http://www.dogsbestfriend.com/) For more on being top dog, see Establishing and Keeping Alpha Position, Letting your dog know you are the boss (http://www.dogbreedinfo.com./topdogrules.htm) be sure and follow their link to their page on dogs and children. Small dogs rightly fear children.

Here are some more things to do to both help bond with her and establish yourself as leader:

''Elevation for small puppies: Sit on the floor and gently put your hands around your pup's middle, below his front legs, and lift him up. He is facing you. Hold him for 15 seconds. Repeat until he no longer struggles. If he is past 10-12 weeks, lift his front feet off the ground, but don't pick him up.

Cradling for small puppies: Hold your puppy gently on his back, as you would cradle a small baby. If he struggles, hold him firmly until he quiets for 10-15 seconds. With larger pups, you can do this as your sit on the floor, with your pup between your legs.

Quiet lying down: Place your pup on the floor on his side, with all 4 legs pointing away from you. Use your hands on his neck/shoulder area and middle, to hold him in this position. When he is quiet, praise him. Lengthen the time that you keep him quietly in this position. When he accepts this position well, handle his paws and muzzle, while keeping him quiet.''

The quotes mean this isn't my original work. It is copied from my Puppy Raising Manual. I have long used these or minor variations of them, and they are very effective. You may want to give him a belly rub while he is on his back too. Helps bonding. There is a big difference between him rolling over and demanding a belly rub, and you choosing a time to roll him over and rub his belly. The latter cements your place as pack leader.

Shandalana
It would be super if you knew or could find out anything about her history.
If she seems to be afraid of men maybe she has been mistreated by them. Give her time to come around.
Not saying that all dogs are the same... but the chihauhaus that I know that would be only 4 are a little nervous around young children. I have also read that this is one of that breeds traits. That's not to say that they can not adapt, but your daughter needs to be very gentle with the dog.

Make sure that she has a safe place to escape to when she is nervous a room, dog crate etc.. Teach your daughter when the dog goes to her safe place to let her be.
It would also help if the daughter and boyfriend could give her treats and play a game, if she enjoys walking or going bye-bye let them be the one to suggest it or let them get the leash. When she sees that they will not harm her she should come around. It may take awhile. It took my dog at least a few months to trust everyone in my house, he came from an abusive situation and certain objects still make him shake and go into hiding.. even after 2 years we learn mor and more about things that frighten him.
When you do not have them all of their lives you don't truly know how they were treated.
Stick around for a few days rubypitbull has a lot of experience rehoming dogs she will have some good advice for you.

Well all that I know about her is that she was found on the side of a highway with another chihuahua and my best friend and neighbor has her and she is fine. We think that she is maybe a year or so old but we are not sure. I keep hoping that she will come around to my boyfriend. When its just me and her she plays and is really funny and cute but then when others are here she is scared and wants to hide. What do you think I should do?

I also have a chihuahua, and although I got her from a breeder, chihuahuas tend to be very nervous and scared animals. Mine still stays away from my roommate and it's been at least 3 months since he moved into my apt. He doesn't treat my dog badly at all, but she's just wary of him as he doesn't really play with her. Give her some time, give her LOTS of TLC, and she'll come around.

What you need to do is work with her just as I said. One of the big problems with Chihuahuas is that people don't take them seriously. Your Chihuahua's DNA is little different than a wolf. They think like a wolf and take themselves very seriously. You need to do the same. As I said, undoing early problems is tough and takes a while.

I have not actually read the noted behaviorists Fuller and Scott or Pfaffenburger, but have read quotes from their work in dozens books including the Art of Raising a Puppy by the Monks of new Skete. ''... pups raised without human contact would show fearful reactions to humans at five weeks of age but could readjust over 2 weeks time if handled often, Puppies first exposed to human contact at twelve weeks of age, however immediately reacted very fearfully and fled from the experimenters. They acted essentially like wild animals and were socially irretrievable. They had missed the vital contact during the critical period.'' p 43, First Edition.

So if your dog fears your boyfriend, it may just be a lack of contact with men as a young puppy rather than actual mistreatment. The greater ease of the other dogs in its home may reflect different early experience. Although found together, they could have had different backgrounds.