How do you try NC when the girl still wants to be friends with you?

Say no thanks, you have enough friends. Have a nice life.
:-)
Simple really.

You don't TRY NC. You DO NC.

NC means NC. Don't answer. Don't even say goodbye. Walk away.

Wondergirl got it spot on. There isn't no trying. It's a done deal. Walk away and tell her to do likewise. You aren't interested in her friendship. That went out the door when she left you.

How do you try NC when the girl still wants to be friends with you?
As the others have pointed out, you DO no contact, and what she wants is no longer your problem, your healing, is the top priority.

Update: I'm trying no contact with her but it's only been for a few hours. She's been flirting a lot with another guy so that should keep her occupied. I'm just going to have nothing to do with her for a while and get my head back into place. Can anybody out there tell me how could girls break a guy's heart this bad, and move on so quickly?

Turn the tables around buddy. Seems she has control.

I'm just going to have nothing to do with her for a while

No, not "for a while." For good. Forever.

my x is the same, I said nc but kept kalling me, and stupid me answering his calls. But now he just gave up on us and said that it was OK. That he was not going to kall me no more, and... I don't know I miss him.

If you mean why do people change, and want to do something different? They just do as there is a big world to explore. Your inexperience with dealing with your feelings has a lot to do with your pain also, add the expectation of a relationship lasting forever, and you have heartbreak, and of course, we are in shock about it too. Most times our exes have been think of leaving for a while before they tell us, so they have had time to get used to the idea, and are seldom in the shock we are, so it seems as if they are moving on more quick.

Update: I think the girl I was talking about could be leading her life into trouble. I think she likes this guy who has a reputation for using and abusing girls. I'm still friends with her (even though I haven't been in contact with her for a few days), should I help her out?

Update: I think the girl I was talking about could be leading her life into trouble. I think she likes this guy who has a reputation for using and abusing girls. I'm still friends with her (even though I haven't been in contact with her for a few days), should I help her out?

You don't give up, do you!

(How are you friends with her? I missed that part.)

Update: I think the girl I was talking about could be leading her life into trouble. I think she likes this guy who has a reputation for using and abusing girls. I'm still friends with her (even though I haven't been in contact with her for a few days), should I help her out?
How is it your business?? Who made you her guardian angel?? Nice try, but stay out of her business. Did you actually think someone to tell you to go rescue the damsel in distress, and be a hero, and live happily ever after?:rolleyes:

Thanks talaniman for smacking me around a little bit, that helped. I'm sorry I couldn't move on as quickly as many of you guys would like me to, it's just a hard thing to do. It really hurts a lot...

We know it does, and from being here as long as I have, you aren't the first one to try and rationalise an excuse to see the ex. You'll be okay, got any more tales of woe before I call it a day. Trust me it won't be long before you'll read these post and laugh your butt off.

It seems that she isn't thinking about your heart.

Wats NC mean

NC = no contact

Now she asks me what's wrong because I'm ignoring her and she's been involved with a lot of other guys, it just makes me really jealous. But I try not to show it. Why is she doing that?

She's trying to keep you as her backstop. That's what they do when they say they still want to be friends.

You won't start to heal until you LET GO and start doing NC , don't get stuck on square one. I know its easy to say but it is a must for you to start your healing process.

DON'T EVER be someone's backup , makes you look weak in her eyes as well.

Now she asks me what's wrong because I'm ignoring her and she's been involved with a lot of other guys, it just makes me really jealous. But I try not to show it. Why is she doing that?
Because you let her. Your in friendzone, with no hope of getting back together. Keeping you confused is her way of keeping you in her life, just in case the other guys don't work out, because she knows you'll always be around, just waiting for a chance. Stop contacting her and stop letting her contact you, and you end the confusion and drama, and start the healing process. Read the links in my signature for some good suggestions on how to get healthy after a break up.

One day I'm fine by myself, and happy with myself. Other days, I find myself crying and feel so depressed and feel so down. All of those happy memories that makes me sad comes back when I play songs on my guitar, this is the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. But thankfully, I can let some feelings out on this website instead of telling it to her. Thanks tal, your advice really helps me out. And so does everyone else that gave me advice, I don't mean to leave you guys out. I'm not going to ask for NC, but I'm going to DO NC, but I'll talk back to her if she talks to me, I don't want to be a . I'll keep you guys updated

In my view, thinking about her in the past is great memories; thinking about her now and in the future is a prescription for pain. Your brain plays tricks, much like an addiction. Steer carefully.

One day I'm fine by myself, and happy with myself. Other days, I find myself crying and feel so depressed and feel so down. All of those happy memories that makes me sad comes back when I play songs on my guitar, this is the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. But thankfully, I can let some feelings out on this website instead of telling it to her. Thanks tal, your advice really helps me out. And so does everyone else that gave me advice, I don't mean to leave you guys out. I'm not going to ask for NC, but I'm going to DO NC, but I'll talk back to her if she talks to me, I don't want to be a . I'll keep you guys updated

You are in the very early stages so confusion, upset and a sense of loss will reign. Ride out the initial storm of having her out of your life and things will get so much better. Stick to the No Contact.

If you are in a situation where you are trying no contact and she is still contacting you and not taking the hint then you are going to have to be blunt. Tell her you are not going to be in contact with her anymore, simple. If she can't understand that then she is a very immature person. Why would you want to be with someone like that?

Don't let her run the "I want to be friends" line. She isn't your friend. She is your ex girlfriend. She, and all dumpees, generally only use that line to a) ease their guilt; and b) keep you as a back up.

Be strong!

This is an excellent time to develop those coping skills needed as an adult male, its hard doing something like this, but experience is a hard teacher, we all have gone through it. Put yourself above all.

What I would say is user her to hook up with someone else, or try score with one of her friends I'd say that would make her feel like and make you feel better.

What i would say is user her to hook up with someone else, or try score with one of her friends i'd say that would make her feel like and make you feel better.
What a lousy idea. Revenge is not the answer here, as learning from the experience and applying that knowledge for the future is. That's called using and developing coping skills, to grow and mature.

What a lousy idea. Revenge is not the answer here, as learning from the experience and applying that knowledge for the future is. Thats called using and developing coping skills, to grow and mature.

I agree, what is the point of revenge. It is childish and will backfire. You will also hurt the other person involved. Your ex will likely see right through it as an attempt to get her back and for her benefit.

Concentrate on yourself. Have no contact with your ex. If she comes back to you then she is doing so because she wants too, not because you have flaunted a new woman (who she will no doubt see as a negligible threat) in her face.

This is an excellent time to develop those coping skills needed as an adult male, its hard doing something like this, but experience is a hard teacher, we all have gone thru it. Put yourself above all.

Thanks tal. I'm only about 16 right now, but this is a good experience that I need to learn. At least I'll get something from this, and thanks. I really know where your coming from, and I'm trying to put myself above all of it. Seeing her for whom she is really helps too, especially with all the things she's doing

especially with all the things she's doing
Women can be as stubborn as men, and when they value a friendship, they want to hold on to it. Especially if the communication flows and makes them feel good, so right or wrong, it still up to you to do what you have to to be healthy. I mention this because we all assume games are being played, but they may not be evil on their part, they hurt too.

On a side note
I went to see how my other ex was doing, so I sent her a message. Her response was
"no problem mr. cat eater. yeah my life is AMAZING, thanks fur asking. oh and dont let me be rude! hope ur life is a living hell my friend"

How did everyone else get over their very first love? I'm only wondering

I got over my first real relationship of 3 years, by finally getting tired of being unhappy, so after 6 months, accepted that it was over, and started getting around more, and doing things that made me happy. There is a lot to see and do, once you open your eyes. Single is a fun place to be, if you make it that way.

First of all, you don't "try" it, you do it. No phone calls, no IMs, no e-mails, nothing. Likewise, don't accept any phone calls, e-mails or IMs from her. If you happen to run into her in public, just a quick smile and "hello" and then on your merry way. Don't talk about her with anyone. If someone else tries to talk to you about her, change the subject. Pretend that she's disappeared from the face of the earth and make her have to pretend that you've disappeared from the face of the earth.

Update: I think the girl I was talking about could be leading her life into trouble. I think she likes this guy who has a reputation for using and abusing girls. I'm still friends with her (even though I haven't been in contact with her for a few days), should I help her out?Nope. Her problem, not yours. It's not your place to play rescuer.

I've been doing well for myself. 4 months of NC and I don't even care about her anymore. Deleted her from my buddy list, phone, myspace, etc. After 4 solid months of no talking, no contact, she friend request me on MySpace.
When I asked her, she replied with "idk.. i'm sick of hacking other ppl's myspaces to see ur profile i guess. so that's a no..?"
What is she trying to do? And what should I do about her?
Thanks guys, my mind goes blank when I think of what to do.