Hello you,

Long time no see! :)

Long story short,


I think this lady I work with wants to set me up with his son.
She constantly mentions her son to me and shows me everything about his son. I thought she was just being proud of his son since he is younger than me. I can never think of that she would have that thought.
Now it's quite obvious... She asked if I could take her son to the company's Christmas Party when he is back visiting next week?

What should I reply then?


My opinion is that it doesn't matter how excellent her son is, work and personal relationship can't be mixed together.

What do you think? And how should I reply her?

If you are interested, tell her yes. If you are not, tell her you are not and that you would prefer not to mix business with pleasure.

She may be feeding off you though. You claim to be good at most everything and she may be feeding off this and thinking the two of you may make a good couple if she thinks her son may meet up to your standards.

While it may seem complex, it's really rather simple. You tell her you are interested... Or you tell her that you would rather not risk ruining a good working relationship.

What will be the nicest way to turn it down then?
She didn't really say that she is setting us up but it's quite obvious now.

Just tell her that you are flattered that she thought of you, however, you prefer not to mix business and pleasure.

That's a nice way!

However, what if she is not setting us up ? Maybe she just wants her son to be a friend with me? Would that be a possibility? I still can't believe since her son is younger than me about 2 years!

Then again, take him to Christmas Party? I am really confused.

Maybe she just wants her son to be shown a good time by a really nice girl, during the holiday. If more happens, well you know how mothers are. Are you going to this party anyway? Alone?

Maybe she just wants her son to be shown a good time by a really nice girl, during the holiday. If more happens, well you know how mothers are. Are you going to this party anyway? Alone?

Yes, I am going to the party. I am planning on going alone, but most co workers will bring their wifes/husbands if they are married.

I think it would be nice to just be honest and tell her you wouldn't want to mix business with pleasure... If you end up being introduced to him there, and actually like him and are interested, then go from there! There may be a spark, there may not be! Good luck and either way have fun at the party!
On another note, it is nice to see you again! :)

Am I understanding correctly that she has already asked you if you would take him to the party and if so, what did you reply at that time? All the advice I have read here is great. I am wondering if perhaps since there seems to be pressure and a little bit of confusion, would you be comfortable to say something like,

"That is so sweet of you to think of me but I was planning on coming to the party alone and that way, if I need to leave a little early, I wouldn't spoil anyone else's night but I look forward to seeing your son at the party and visiting with him. That would be great!"

Might be too corny and too evasive. I tend to do that so as not to hurt people's feelings and sometimes the straight forward approach is best like Start suggested but whatever is a good fit for you and you feel will be accepted by her without causing you or her to be anxious about it.

I mixed work with pleasure and now I have my two best mates.

I did not see one for three years but hey! Work and pleasure at the time although I left along time ago did well for me.

I also have seen many people mix work and pleasure and end up married etc.

If you like the guy? If your attracted to him go for it. If not don't!

Hey you nicegirl, how did it all turn out? Happy new Year!:)