View Full Version : I still love her but I don't know what to do with her.
spartan24018
Dec 7, 2007, 08:20 PM
So here it is guys. There's this girl that I went out with for some time now. We broke up about 4 months ago. And since then, she went out with this other guy. And I went out with another girl. The second girl really broke my heart and dumped me in about 2 months flat. After that, I really started to want the first girl again. But when I talked to her more and more, I found out that she went to 3rd base with him. She doesn’t think it’s any big deal at all but it broke my heart when I found that out. And her boyfriend broke up with her because he wasn’t in love with her. She wanted him to say “I love you” to her, and he didn’t. She told me she would’ve screwed him (she actually said she wouldn’t let him go any further if he didn’t say it). I try to tell her that he used her, but Friday, she went out with her friend and him to hang out. I realized that I love her and I made a big mistake by letting the relationship fall apart. I really want her back, because I love her and I don’t think anybody can treat her better then I can. I’ve been trying to talk and hang out with her but so far, I can only get a few minutes of her time. I try over myspace/facebook and on AIM. She doesn’t call back, only IMs me when I IM her, only start a conversation when I do. I feel like she’s ignoring me. But when I start to talk to 2 other girls, she suddenly asks me if I like them and she tells me she’s curious if I am or not. I’m so frustrated with what to do here. I really really want to get her back but I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to make her attracted to me, or how to even at least consider me as an option. If there’s anybody out there, can you tell me what do I do to make her fall in love with me again? Please.
P.S.
I see her everyday so it’s hard to put her in the back of my mind.
talaniman
Dec 8, 2007, 09:36 AM
Can't you see your running into a brick wall. She doesn't want a relationship with you at all, so its up to you to accept it and move on. This puppy dog behavior must stop.
s_cianci
Dec 8, 2007, 09:49 AM
The two of you broke up for a reason. You then both tried with someone else and things didn't work out there, either. I think you're more in love with the idea of being in love than you are with her. Let it go and move on.
ampersandra
Dec 8, 2007, 10:03 AM
I see a pattern here. You went out with girl #1 for 4 months and broke up. Then, you went out with girl #2 for 2 months and broke up. Why is it that your relationships end so soon? Who was usually the one doing the dumping? And what reasons were offered to the dumpee? Consider every relationship you have to be valuable in that they all have a lesson that you have to learn. And if you don't learn it and change yourself according to it, you're still going to be served the same lesson.
Just because you're falling in love does not mean you have to lose yourself in the process. Plus, a relationship where you're putting your beloved on a pedestal and worshipping her will eventually become too much burden for you. Stop trying to get girl #1 back by constantly messaging her. It's annoying to her. It's too much work for you.
Have some confidence in yourself. There's nothing wrong with talking to other girls and you are not obligated to report to anyone. Re-evaluate WHY you want to be with girl #1 so much.
spartan24018
Dec 10, 2007, 08:21 PM
Update: I am trying to move on, but every time I see her flirting with another guy (whether it be myspace or in real life) it makes me mad and depressed at the same time. Is this normal? And how can I deal with this?
talaniman
Dec 11, 2007, 06:57 AM
Staying off her myspace is a good place to start, as you can only torture yourself. In public just leave. You should be doing your own thing now, without her. See the links in my signature, for some very good suggestions.
spartan24018
Dec 13, 2007, 09:42 PM
I guess I am hurt because I let myself get hurt. She really is no big deal and everyday that I don't talk to her, the more out of contact I want to be with her. I really see how much she let me down and it's a good thing I didn't have sex with her. That's one thing to not worry about. It was really hard but I finally realize that we're not going to get back together. I might be wrong in the future, but I know how I feel right now. I don't know why I spend so much time and love on this one girl, and how I thought our relationship could go somewhere. Ugh god. Thanks for helping out you guys.
I just can't fight the feeling that we could've been a great couple. It's one of the worst feelings.
talaniman
Dec 14, 2007, 07:11 AM
Relax, everyone thinks they are such a great couple, and it will last forever. When its over, we all have the same feelings you do now. Some people learn to deal positively with those feelings, some don't. Be part of that group that learns to deal with their feelings.
spartan24018
Dec 14, 2007, 03:35 PM
Thank you, that really helps a lot.
And I've been feeling happier day by day, and been working out too. I'm dealing with my feelings in a positive way now, thanks a lot guys