Hi, I am a 20 year old college student and my boyfriend is 22 yrs. Old and we have been talking about marriage lately... Here's the situation:
I am a pretty rational, mature young lady and I have been taught that marriage isn't something you rush into and take lightly so I am very hesitant to say the least.

We love each other very much and see ourselves together in the future.but my boyfriend is going to join the Air force in about a couple of months and he actually wants us to get married before he leaves.
I know you must be thinking "why not wait what's the hurry?"
Well, the dilemma is that I have a chronic illness known as MS, I do not have health insurance and my boyfriend has been with me through some of my most challenging times with the disease so he has seen what it can do to me and feels the need to help me as much as possible (because we really do care for and support each other very much).

He feels like this will be his golden opportunity to really step forward and take care of me like he wants to do (when he joins the Air Force). His idea is that we should get married NOW so that I can reap all the benefits of his new career (mainly health insurance) now this isn't the only reason he wants to marry me but it is the reason he feels we shouldn't wait.

We both view marriage as two-fold... one aspect is the religious part, the union between man, women and God... the other aspect is purely legality, the other person has rights to your things and legally can make life altering decisions for you 9if you're ill) and his reason for wanting to do it now is the legality issue... he just wants everything to be legit so that I can legally be entitled to what he has... he says if I want a huge wedding etc. I can have it but he just wants the legality issue solved now... I completely understand.

Just additional info.: we have been together for 2 years and have lived together for the last 7 months, we are best friends, partners, and biggest supporters of each other...
He actually transferred to my college to be with me after we'd been away from each other for a semester (now we live together)... we're both pursuing our education... I'm a Speech/Lang pathology major (Junior) and he's an Electrical eng. Major (Junior as well) so we're both almost finished with school and do not plan to stop without a degree!

We've accomplished a lot since we've been together and continue to grow with each other. I have no doubt that our marriage will work someday but I was raised to believe that it's something that should be done during the most mature years of life...

Considering our situation does anyone have any ideas of how to make this work or are my reservations born out of fear of being a statistic?
I will appreciate all of your comments, Thank you! :)

I think it sounds like you are ready, but I hope you aren't doing it just for the benefits.
You said "my reservations born out of fear of being a statistic"... I think that if you have any doubt about this marriage don't do it. Marriage is the kind of thing that you don't go into unless you are 100% sure.

I don't see what the issues are, and why you have not already married

That's great that you are doing it for the right reasons, because many people don't.
I think that if you think it is the right thing to do, and you feel you can spend the rest of your life with him then go for it! You go girl!

I commend your boyfriend for wanting to take the initiative to help protect you with the insurance he will be afforded.

I can also read in your words that you are an obviously intelligent and thoughtful young lady. You've been with him for 2 years, which is not "rushing" by any means (though I just married after 7.5 yrs of dating). Something in your heart is telling you that its not the right time and I believe you should stick by that.

I have no doubt this could work for you both, but timing means a lot in a marriage. Personally, I have been with my husband since I was 19 and we just got married 6m ago. I knew very early on that we would be married one day, but I had to be my own person for a time. For us, it was a matter of finishing college and finding a sense of self before we could commit ourselves before God... even though we were already very committed to each other. I have a feeling this is where to currently stand.

Its perfectly normal... if not incredibly responsible of you to wait if that is what your heart is telling you. Its good to plan your marriage without insurance being an obvious factor... one day you won't look back together and know that insurance was the reason you have an anniversary date before you want one.

This is absoutly wonderful. I think you are so ready to be married and the benefits will be nice too. I'm happy to hear that you have such a good relationship. And I'm so glad that you want to marry for the right reasons. I had to learn the hard way. He sounds like a stand up kind of guy and I am very happy for the both of you. Good luck!

Hey sweetie,
I understand your reasons for not wanting to marry him solely for the benefits. But you would not have to pay so much for all your treatments! Since our government sucks! And can not take care of it's people health ins. Is a must expecally when you have a medical condition. What happens when things get really bad and you have to be hopilized and have physical therapy etc... You could be in debt for the rest of your life! My parents have gone through that and it has been a struggle for them there whole lives. Having to flie bankruptcy and losing there home. I only say this because I have seen first hand what can happen to you when you don't have health insurance.

On the other side! It does sound like you have really thought this through! And you have been with each other long enough to go through some tough things. You have lived together and you still love him. It sounds like you are ready to take the next step in your relationship!

Getting married is something that you have to be completely comfortable with but you also have to look at the benefits as well! As shallow and crappy as that is it is true! I hope you make the best decision for yourself! And that your health stays strong!

You're already livng like you're married. You may as well do it legally and reap the benefits of marriage. I'm not understanding the dilemma

Sweety, I had been living with my fiancé for almost 7 months before we married... last Saturday (dec. 8). I am only 19 years old and he is 22. We knew we wanted to be together forever and grow old together long before we finally married.

It sounds like y'all are ready for marriage. I can tell that you aren't in it for the benefits, and that you truly love him and want to be with him. The benefits are just a plus. You are already living like you are married, you might as well legalize it.

The reason I say this, is because my husband and I always thought of ourselves as married (before we legally were), now that we ARE legally married, we don't feel any different. People have told me "everything changes after getting married"... and I just tell them, "the only things that are different are my last name and we both have shiny rings now."

I'm thinking that the only things that will change between you two are your last name, the rings and the benefits you will receive. I do commend your boyfriend for wanting to take care of you. Most males, when something like that happens, just take off. It seems he really loves you and cares so much for your well-being and health.

Hope this helped out!

I say go for it if you're both ready :) I'm only 18 and my boyfriend and I have been talking about marriage lately also. We've been living together for 6 months. I'm sick of people criticizing young couples who want to get married. It really disturbs me that so many people have an issue with young engaged couples, but don't have issues with shows like Desperate Housewives and other shows that put adultery on a pedistal, or shows like Tila Tequila that encourages young women in our society to flaunt themselves sexually and take sexual opportunities every time they get a chance.

I agree completely with CSQUARED...

Before we got married, all my husbands co-workers were giving him hell about getting married so young. The thing with all of them is that they are all either married or have kids or both and absolutely can't stand their wife or "baby-momma"...

I'm sick and tired of everyone saying that it is best to wait to get married until you are older. What does it matter? I mean, if you marry young, it's just that many more years you get to spend together as "one flesh" (biblical term)

Well agree with you both as well. My fiancé is 26 and I am 20.