I just found out that my 14 yr old had sex. My heart is broken because she always promised she would wait till marriage. I feel like she lied to me and betrayed my trust. I'm not sure what to do. Take her to a doctor - Yes! But punishment? The damage is done. Please advise!

That is a very young age,. but you must understand that something made her want to do it. Whether its rebelling against her parents, or giving in to desireS?
Hmm.. its still not normal.. its just too young! You should sit her down and talk to her about everything going on in her life. Maybe she did it because she felt obligated to, maybe she was forced to do it, maybe she doesn't feel like she gets enough male attention, or maybe she wants to be "old" and sex is something :older" people do.
You should just talk to her and perhaps impose stricter rules - curfew? So she's not out late having sex. Get her under control so that this doesn't turn into something more

Getting her a medical exam is a good idea. Other than that, some heart-to-heart communication is in order. Talk to her and find out what's going through her mind. Educate her to the dangers of premature sex ; STDs, unplanned pregnancy, not to mention the emotional damage that results from casual sexual relations.

To Russian, IT IS NORMAL, sadlly but true. In a 1970 study, 50% of teens had sex while in high school, and those numbers have increased dramatically.

You don't want to punish her, because then she may not tell you next time.

If she got no diseases and is fine, just strongly urge her to be more safe, and at least use protection.

Like my teacher told me, you can't prevent a teen from havign sex, but you can change how they do it. (He's referring to protection)

Just be more alert of who she is with and maybe have a curphew. But you need to talk to her and relate to her, because you should be able to remember what it was like, and imagine now where you actually look dumb if you are a virgin. And I know she is only 14, but that doesn't mean anything. When I was in 8th grade, just about every girl I new had sex or did something sexual.

Yes a doctor but think back to when you were young mabey she did that for school problems felt no one liked her and that shell never get married she probably needs to have a mother friend talk you know talk to hher like friend

I can't stress this enough.EDUCATE HER!! I had sex at that age too and no one talked to me about it and I ended up 16 and pregnant. Punishment didn't work for me. If I would have known about everything I would have thought twice. Good luck

I agree with above you need to teach her not control her she will just do it behind your back and end up in trouble.

Also tell her of the emotional pain she can cause herself ---falling in love with someone and they might be just using her, etc...
Studies have shown that the more partners a person has the more emotional and psychological difficulties they will have in a good committed relationship.

Keep her with you 24/7 when possible... she lost her right to freedom.
She lost her rights, why should you have to worry about her becoming pregnant or getting a disease. How dare that child!

Getting her examined is a must. Although it's tempting to lock her up and throw away the key, that would just push her away, and probably make things worse. I understand you're hurt and disapointed, I saw the look on my mom's face when she found out that I had sex, but freaking out isn't going to do either of you any good. I'm sure she's heard of all the efects that Sex (premarital or no) can cause... but she's young and I'm sure she doesn't understand the big pic. Of what could happen. Sit her down talk to her. As much as I hate to say it, Obviously like any teen if she wants to have sex, there's always a way to get around parents... honestly as much as it hurts it would be better for her to know that you're there and what kind of percations she needs to take to protect herself if she insists on having sex. After my mom found out there have been times when I wished I could have talked to her about things... had her put me on birth control, or even bought me condoms... but I was so afraid of what she would do that I didn't even seriously think about talking to my mom about it. But I wish I could have.

I would take her to the health department and have ever STD test possible done as well as a pelvic exam and pregnancy test. Get every pamphlet you can find on STD's ,teen pregnancy etc. Then sit down with her and have your own mother daughter sex ed session. Between the visit to the public health department and being forced to talk to her mother about sex, that should be punishment enough for now. Make sure she understands what she did portray your trust and it will take a lot to earn it back. Be careful though not to totally alienate her. You want to keep the communication open. I think I might consider letting the boys parents know their son had sex with your daughter.

I completely agree with bushg, have her volunteer at those places, and let her babysit. I'm 24, and whenever I think about having sex/kids I babysit one of my friend's kids, or talk to them (cos they're all single moms) about what its like, and then (miraculously) the feeling of wanting that goes away. You should educate her on all the effects sex can have. Good luck to you!

How can you punish a girl for doing something natural if you never did what she did she would never been born

how can you punish a girl for doing something natural if you never did what she did she would never been born

BECAUSE SHE'S 14 FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!

Do any of you know the risks involved with a child of 14 who becomes pregnant? The risks to the fetus and the risks to the teen are tremendous and some are life threatening.

As for STDs this is a very graphic website, do not enter unless you have a very strong stomach, THIS IS NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART, but one of our health departments uses these pictures when educating their clients about STDs.

STD Pictures and Photos (http://www.herpes-coldsores.com/std/pictures.htm)

I agree with a lot of the information that you have received above but there is one thing that you have to understand her young brain has not yet developed to understand all of the pitfalls of having sex. So I think what you need to do now is to educate her by telling her all of the she needs to know about having a baby, the fact that she would loose her teenage years. Tell her about all of the responsibilities of feeding, housing, keeping the baby in clothes. Then now that you know that she is not capable of being responsible I think it is time that you get her some kind of birth control. I know this sounds like you are endorsing her to have sex but I feel like that is much better than bringing a baby into the world to be raised by a baby herself, and no father around, or to be raised by the grandparents Good Luck to you.

You can't lock your kids up, but you can put restrictions on them. I'm not saying this is true in your case, but I am often amazed at how surprised some parents are that their kids are having sex, when the young ones are allowed to date, go anywhere without your checking up in them and give them too much freedom.
You've got to be the "mean parents" Say No! To a lot of stuff they have no business doing in the first place. They don't go anyplace unless you take them, if they go to a friends house, get a verbal OK from the other parent. Stay vigilant. It takes time and work, but it's worth it and it's really our job as parents.

That's horrible if my parents did that to me I would want to run away

how can you punish a girl for doing something natural if you never did what she did she would never been born
I am assuming the parent was an adult when she conceived her. There is a BIG difference between 14 year olds having sex and adults.
If this 14 year old gets pregnant, who is to take care of her and that child?
If a responsible adult gets pregnant, they are at least employed, are taking care of themselves and can take care of a child.
Aside from that, just because something is "natural" to do, does not mean it is to be done irresponsibly and without restriction. What a world this would be if we all just did what came natural without any thought of repercussion or responsibility.

I meant that she shouldn't be punished yet explained to why she shouldn't do that until older and anyway what's your recommended age for sex

Well 14 certainly isn't. I don't thnik you should even date. At 14. I did not have sex until I was married at 23.
I think if you cannot handle the consequenses that may come about such as pregancy, if you have no job, no way to support a child, have not completed HS, if you are not old enough to get married, you should not be having sex.

i meant that she shouldn't be punished yet explained to why she shouldn't do that until older and anyway what's your recomended age for sex
If she is doing something she has no business doing, then yes, she should be punished. Otherwise she just does it again.

Sex is natural such as a boy humping his mom's bra magazine it should be prevented yes but if you really want to you should because if you refuse these urges your body could fight against you such as helping diseases destroy your body

Yes punished but nothing as harsh as being locked up in her room for months at a time

Jehovah's Witnesses: Watchtower Society Official Web Site (http://www.watchtower.org)

Under the search type: Reliable Advice for Raising Children

sex is natural such as a boy humping his mom's bra magazine it should be prevented yes but if you really want to you should because if you refuse these urges your body could fight against you such as helping diseases destroy your body
You don't act on every urge you have. Masturbating is a lot safer at 14 than having sex. Kids that young should not be having sex.
You cannot get sick at 14 from not having sex.

If older your grades can drop

Your grades don't drop from lack of sex either. Your grades may drop if you are preoccupied with it, but that could happen with preoccupation with anything. You discipline yourself to do your work to keep your grades up.
I wasn't having sex as a teen and my grades never dropped because of it.
People often go for long periods without sex and they survive. A 14 year old teen will too.

I think we should agree to disagree I can see your right but wrong like me and I think your kind of stubborn like me and this could take awhile

I'm not stubborn. I'm 54 years old and I think I know what I'm talking about, but if you need to believe what you do, you go right a head.
I'm done.

Not to get in the middle of your guys' discussion but either way you want to look at it 14 is way to young. I don't think an extreme form of punishment is going to help her daughter any. As I said before chances are, unless she understands the full consequence to having sex at such a young age she's just going to think that "mommie's out to ruin my fun" and be twice as likely to rebel and repeat current behavior.

That's what I been trying to say

Not to get in the middle of your guys' discussion but either way you want to look at it 14 is way to young. I dont think an extreme form of punishment is going to help her daughter any. As i said before chances are, unless she understands the full consequence to having sex at such a young age shes just going to think that "mommy's out to ruin my fun" and be twice as likely to rebel and repeat current behavior.
At her age any punishment is going to be seen as extreme and "momma trying to ruin my fun"
She would be punished or grounded if she were mine. She would have a strict curfew and would not go anyplace unless I took her. No dating and monitored phone calls. She would have to seriously regain my trust.

You have to give a punishment that doesn't seem like a punishment or a small one

If you're going to give a punishment that does not seem like one, or a small one, what is the point? You give a punishment that fits the crime so the person thinks about what they did and the conseqenses. And you don't make it easy for them to do it again

If she understands what she did and knows that the next time she does it you will crack down harder why punish

Maybe you should see if anyone that you know has a baby that's fairly young where they have to watch the baby and get up with it at night that's a big lesson to learn. I had to learn it the hard way. I got pregnant in school barely graduated and never got to go to college. I love my daughter and all but I wished I would have waited. If you want me to message her on here and talk to her just let me know I'm more than willing to

if she understands what she did and knows that the next time she does it you will crack down harder why punish
Because you learn from punishment... would you tell a person who commits a crime against someone else that as long as they understand what they did they can go on, but next time they will "really" get it?? no... the problem with children (and yes 14 is a child) is that if you give even one inch with them, they will learn that and use it against you. If you keep threatening punishmnet but never enforce it, they will learn that. At 14 if my child was caught having sex, her phone would be revoked, she would be driven to and from school by me, and she would not go out with friends unless I personally were chaperoning. Simple... she may hate me for it now, but she will respect me for it later.

if she understands what she did and knows that the next time she does it you will crack down harder why punish
You punish so there won't be a next time. The next time she could get pregnant or an STD or hurt some other way.

I wasn't saying that she shouldn't be punished, she should, But grounding her for eternity and locking that are only going to tick her off, and quite frankly if my mom had done that to me, I would've found a way to get out of her sight and do exactly what she didn't want me to just to spite her. All I'm saying is that before she can be punished she needs to FULLY understand the wieght of what she did, and why her mom is reacting the way she is. To most teens sex is not a big deal, its extremely casual, they don't even think about the things that can happen to them. The making her baby sit idea, and the mother daughter discussion are both extremely good ways to punish her but also get her to see what she's doing. As far as punishment goes I wasn't saying let her go out and do whatever she wants, I was saying that yes she needs to EARN her freedom back BUT she also needs to feel like she can trust her mom with information like that, how's she going to be able to if her mom grounds her for the rest of her life?

I have a friend whose mother found out she was having sex and she is 14. Her mum made her get an implanon so she doesn't get pregnant, she also buys her condoms. There's also another girl in my year level whose pregnant and the babies due in January.

I don't think you should punish her. Talk to her about how you feel and listen to how she feels about it. If you punish her and tell her not to have sex she'll find some way of doing it behind your back. The most you can do is make sure she's using protection so she won't get pregnant or get STD's

If aa teenager feels that they can find another way to go about doing something that they should not be doing just to spite their mother or just because they want to and feel that rules are not meant to be followed by them personaly, then that teenager has bigger issues than just having sex. That teenager needs a serious wake up call about how the real world works. I would start by stripping her of all useless and unneeded possessions, and then if that would not work, she would be sent of for additional disciplinary actions, because it would mean that somewhere the parenting failed. The problem with teenagers today is that they are so spoiled and sheltered, that they actually think they are untouchable... when in fact they are the most susceptible to danger.

I don't have a problem with people having sex before marriage, but 14 is far too young. At 18 when she is an adult, she can do as she pleases, but until then, its my way or no way.

Im not saying 14 isn't too young... im saying that I've been on the receiving end of that conversation... my mom was understanding about it and didn't freak out and I'm thankful that she didn't... but had she freaked out on me that is what I would've done... not saying that its right... I did need a wake up call, it was called my mothers disapointment. That was enough for me, but if my mom had gotten angry and completely shut me off then I wouldn't have cared, I would've wanted to prove something... im not exactly sure but something... Being spoiled and sheltered isn't the only reason that a teen would act like that... it also comes from having all of your freedom stripped and not quite getting why... if they don't see what's wrong with what they've done then its not I'm being punished for making bad choices... im being punished because my moms unfair... or because my mom doesn't get it... a kid (which is what she is) NEEDS to FULLY understand what's so wrong about having sex at 14...

I have a friend whose mother found out she was having sex and she is 14. Her mum made her get an implanon so she doesn't get pregnant, she also buys her condoms. There's also another girl in my year level whose pregnant and the babies due in January.

I don't think you should punish her. Talk to her about how you feel and listen to how she feels about it. If you punish her and tell her not to have sex she'll find some way of doing it behind your back. The most you can do is make sure she's using protection so she won't get pregnant or get Stds
If I don't like or want my 14 year old to have sex, I'm certainly not going to enable her to do it. It is not just pregnancy and STD. There is the emotional issues of sex 14 year olds are not equipped for. She would not be given the freedom to do what she has no business doing. It is reneging on your parental obligation to just say well "I'll just make sure she does not get pregnant." No, you do your best to prevent them from engaging in harmful behavior.

Im not saying 14 isnt too young...im saying that i've been on the recieving end of that conversation...my mom was understanding about it and didnt freak out and im thankful that she didnt...but had she freaked out on me that is what i would've done...not saying that its right...i did need a wake up call, it was called my mothers disapointment. That was enough for me, but if my mom had gotten angry and completly shut me off then i wouldn't have cared, i would've wanted to prove something....im not exactly sure but something...Being spoiled and sheltered isnt the the only reason that a teen would act like that...it also comes from having all of your freedom stripped and not quite getting why...if they dont see whats wrong with what they've done then its not im being punished for making bad choices...im being punished because my moms unfair....or because my mom doesnt get it...a kid (which is what she is) NEEDS to FULLY understand whats so wrong about having sex at 14...

Im not saying that you don't sit down and discuss either Im all for discussion and making it clear that she was wrong, but a slap on the hand will not work here, teen who disrespects me by lying to my face and doing what I asked her not to do will lose any and all privileges. I don't care if she doesn't like it, she made her choice and must suffer the consequences.. You are forgetting that this girl has virrtually slapped her mother in the face by her lies. It is not a time to be your daughters friends, it is the time to be her mother. And a teen that throws a tantrum by "acting out" because she was stripped of her privileges is a spoiled child... no matter how you look at it. A teen is a teen... When she can pay her way through life on her own, then she can decide what is best for herself and until a person is 18, at least in the US, that is practically impossible. until then, I am obligated as a mother to ensure her safety until she is an adult. Teenagers forget that their parents are punished now a days for their reckless behavior. I will be damned if my child think they can be so disrespectful of elders.

Want to know what might help?

She's grounded, but not to her room, or the house, or from her friends, or whatever.

First of all--no more seeing whatever boy it was. Or, if she CAN see him, it's only with you in the same room. Monitor her computer and phone use, too... IMs, emails, and texts can get pretty naughty.

Second--the grounding will consist of every Saturday for the next 9 months (the length of a pregnancy), and she should spend it volunteering at different agencies that deal with teen pregnancy. She should have to witness a birthparent signing away their rights in court, and then the parting of the birthparent from their child forever.

She should have to spend time with someone who has AIDS.

She should have to help out in a daycare for teen moms.

She should have to stay home with her "baby" for at least 1 important event during her school year (something like Prom).

She should have to speak with someone who has had an abortion.

She should have to talk with someone who is now sterile due to an STD.

If she has a young cousin who is old enough to spend the night at your house, she should have complete responsibility for the child for 24 hours (with you in the house, of course, but she should have to take care of EVERYTHING, from diapers, to bottles/food, dishes, bath, bedtime, getting up in the night, etc).

YOU should be involved too--ask her about what she's learning, or go with her so that you can discuss it with her.

One day a week, for 9 months, especially a "free" day sounds like a pretty horrible punishment. But--compared to a pregnancy, she's getting off pretty light.

What if you never explained the consquences of diseases and pregnatcies

Want to know what might help?

She's grounded, but not to her room, or the house, or from her friends, or whatever.

First of all--no more seeing whatever boy it was. Or, if she CAN see him, it's only with you in the same room. Monitor her computer and phone use, too...IMs, emails, and texts can get pretty naughty.

Second--the grounding will consist of every Saturday for the next 9 months (the length of a pregnancy), and she should spend it volunteering at different agencies that deal with teen pregnancy. She should have to witness a birthparent signing away their rights in court, and then the parting of the birthparent from their child forever.

She should have to spend time with someone who has AIDS.

She should have to help out in a daycare for teen moms.

She should have to stay home with her "baby" for at least 1 important event during her school year (something like Prom).

She should have to speak with someone who has had an abortion.

She should have to talk with someone who is now sterile due to an STD.

If she has a young cousin who is old enough to spend the night at your house, she should have complete responsibility for the child for 24 hours (with you in the house, of course, but she should have to take care of EVERYTHING, from diapers, to bottles/food, dishes, bath, bedtime, getting up in the night, etc).

YOU should be involved too--ask her about what she's learning, or go with her so that you can discuss it with her.

One day a week, for 9 months, especially a "free" day sounds like a pretty horrible punishment. But--compared to a pregnancy, she's getting off pretty light.
I agree

Want to know what might help?

She's grounded, but not to her room, or the house, or from her friends, or whatever.

First of all--no more seeing whatever boy it was. Or, if she CAN see him, it's only with you in the same room. Monitor her computer and phone use, too...IMs, emails, and texts can get pretty naughty.

Second--the grounding will consist of every Saturday for the next 9 months (the length of a pregnancy), and she should spend it volunteering at different agencies that deal with teen pregnancy. She should have to witness a birthparent signing away their rights in court, and then the parting of the birthparent from their child forever.

She should have to spend time with someone who has AIDS.

She should have to help out in a daycare for teen moms.

She should have to stay home with her "baby" for at least 1 important event during her school year (something like Prom).

She should have to speak with someone who has had an abortion.

She should have to talk with someone who is now sterile due to an STD.

If she has a young cousin who is old enough to spend the night at your house, she should have complete responsibility for the child for 24 hours (with you in the house, of course, but she should have to take care of EVERYTHING, from diapers, to bottles/food, dishes, bath, bedtime, getting up in the night, etc).

YOU should be involved too--ask her about what she's learning, or go with her so that you can discuss it with her.

One day a week, for 9 months, especially a "free" day sounds like a pretty horrible punishment. But--compared to a pregnancy, she's getting off pretty light.

Had to spread the love Synn - but this is a FABULOUS answer!

Want to know what might help?

She's grounded, but not to her room, or the house, or from her friends, or whatever.

First of all--no more seeing whatever boy it was. Or, if she CAN see him, it's only with you in the same room. Monitor her computer and phone use, too...IMs, emails, and texts can get pretty naughty.

Second--the grounding will consist of every Saturday for the next 9 months (the length of a pregnancy), and she should spend it volunteering at different agencies that deal with teen pregnancy. She should have to witness a birthparent signing away their rights in court, and then the parting of the birthparent from their child forever.

She should have to spend time with someone who has AIDS.

She should have to help out in a daycare for teen moms.

She should have to stay home with her "baby" for at least 1 important event during her school year (something like Prom).

She should have to speak with someone who has had an abortion.

She should have to talk with someone who is now sterile due to an STD.

If she has a young cousin who is old enough to spend the night at your house, she should have complete responsibility for the child for 24 hours (with you in the house, of course, but she should have to take care of EVERYTHING, from diapers, to bottles/food, dishes, bath, bedtime, getting up in the night, etc).

YOU should be involved too--ask her about what she's learning, or go with her so that you can discuss it with her.

One day a week, for 9 months, especially a "free" day sounds like a pretty horrible punishment. But--compared to a pregnancy, she's getting off pretty light.
Sounds good.

Every teen rebels in some form throughout there life.
Im not saying that no form of punishment should be issued, although think long term as well.
Harsh punishments such as synen sugested will seriously affect her in the future. She is only 14, do you think that many/any 14 y/o's could deal with that level of emotional stress?
Be reasonable I'm shure that you have done things you were not meant to when you where younger.

Every teen rebels in some form throughout there life.
Im not saying that no form of punishment should be issued, although think long term aswell.
Harsh punishments such as synen sugested will seriously affect her in the future. She is only 14, do you think that many/any 14 y/o's could deal with that level of emotional stress?
Be reasonable im shure that you have done things you were not ment to when you where younger.
Also true

Every teen rebels in some form throughout there life.
Im not saying that no form of punishment should be issued, although think long term aswell.
Harsh punishments such as synen sugested will seriously affect her in the future. She is only 14, do you think that many/any 14 y/o's could deal with that level of emotional stress?
Be reasonable im shure that you have done things you were not ment to when you where younger.

It is far less harsh or stressful than a REAL child, abortion or STD... the things I did at that age were far less severe than sex... come on.. this is the problem with our society today, and no one even sees it. A parent needs to be a parent. This girl will not be emotionally scarred over missing her prom or doing some volunteer work.

"not meant to"

Like, what? She tripped, her clothes got stuck on a nail, they ripped off, and she accidentally fell on his penis? Are you kidding?

The emotional consequences of being used for sex, being dumped as a teen by your "first", getting pregnant, false alarms about being pregnant, worrying about STDs, wondering if he really loves you or whether he just wants to get into your pants, wondering if the NEXT guy only wants to date you because you've already had sex with ONE guy so he thinks you'll have sex with HIM too, focusing more on dating than school, dealing with the loss of trust between you and your parents, dealing with HAVING an STD, becoming sterile from an STD because you didn't tell anyone about it because you were young and stupid and left it too long to be treated, signing away your parental rights in an adoption knowing you'll never see your child again, having an abortion because you KNOW you can't be a parent yet--don't you think any or all of these things are a little more "emotionally stressful" than having to volunteer one day a week for a school year?

Get real.

What is more emotional stressful than getting pregnant at 14 or getting an STD or having sex as casual as shaking hands that by the time you're out of HS you can't remember how many guys you've had sex with.
Showing your 14 the consequenses of casual sex and having them miss a prom is a piece of cake.

No I agree it is less harsh. But she did not get pregnant or an std prehaps because she was smart enough to be safe in thoes areas.
I agree this girl will not be emotionally scarred over missing her prom or doing some volunteer work, but making her talk with aids victims, removing her from her social circle for a whole 9 months and some of the other ideas sugested would.

Also just because the things YOU did at that age where not as servere as sex doesn't mean that others did not do things FAR worse, I shure no that I did.

No girl should have to miss her prom

Every teen rebels in some form throughout there life.
Im not saying that no form of punishment should be issued, although think long term as well.
Harsh punishments such as synen suggested will seriously affect her in the future. She is only 14, do you think that many/any 14 y/o's could deal with that level of emotional stress?
Be reasonable im sure that you have done things you were not meant to when you where younger.
Seriously affect her future how?
She'll be scarred for life if she has to see the effects of STDs ,how teenage pregnancy affects the life of not only her, but the child she has. She'll be scarred if she can't go to the prom? Give me a break.
She'll be seriously put out if she gets pregnant or gets Herpes or finds herself 18 years of age and having had sex with more boys than she can remember.

Sex before one is ready to care for a child is not being smart, protected or not, it can always happen.
Prom is not that big of a deal, it would not scar the girl beyond her high school years
I don't care what others are doing, she should be smart enough to know there are consequences to every choice she makes...

Obviously, if the excuse, that others are doing it is used here (which it most likely would be) then removeing her from that social group would be nothing but the best for her.

If a girl gets pregnant it is the parents fault

No i agree it is less harsh. But she did not get pregnant or an std prehaps because she was smart enough to be safe in thoes areas.
I agree this girl will not be emotionally scarred over missing her prom or doing some volunteer work, but making her talk with aids victims, removing her from her social circle for a whole 9 months and some of the other ideas sugested would.

Also just because the things YOU did at that age where not as servere as sex dosent mean that others did not do things FAR worse, i shure no that i did.
See that is what you're no getting. If a child is allowed to continue down the wrong path, that aid victum could be her, her being rmoved from her circle of friends could be her. There are consequences for actions and it is a parent's responsibility to make sure a child knows that.
You can't just let your kids grow up doing whatever they want to do and then say "oh well, I did things to" They need to know that when they do certain things, there are consequenses and "this" is what they are. Do you want to be in this person's shoes?

if a girl gets pregnat it is the parents fault

You have GOT to be kidding.

If a girl gets pregnant, it's because she was having SEX--a choice her parents didn't make, SHE did.

As far as the earlier comments about removing a girl from her social circle--I never said that. I said she lost her Saturdays and the right to be alone with a boy. That's not "losing your social circle".

Missing your prom (though she's probably too young for it anyway) won't scar you past your high school years. It's a stupid dance that you pay too much for and that no one talks about for longer than a month afterward. I was BORED at prom.

Having to SEE the consequences of making the choice to have sex is a better deterent than her mom just saying "don't do that! Bad things could happen!"

Because really--what 14 year old actually believes that their parents know what they're talking about when it differs from the kid's own opinions on things?

Maybe your just a boring person and girls remember it for years after

no girl should have to miss her prom
An no 14 year old girl should be having sex. And no young girls should be getting pregnant or STD or Aids. But it happens. Kids should not be in jail either. But when you do things, there is a price to pay. If you don't want to pay the price, don't things you should not be doing. But if you do it anyway and get caught, it's on you. Own it.

if a girl gets pregnat it is the parents fault

WHAT!?

Honey, go to bed, it's past your 12 year old bedtime.

If a girl gets pregnant it is her fault, as well as the boys. Her parents did not stick the penis into her vagina, and if they did, they should be arrested.

Now, your arguing back and forth is not helping the original poster, and, it is sad, but she probably won't be back because of this.

Therefore, this post is effectively closed.