I am thinking of separating from my husband. We have been separating for 12 years and have 3 kids. Since we have been together since he does not like my mom I am not allowed to talk to her. I have no control over my money I am the bread winner and feel I should have some control. We have had some wonderful times. When we get along it is great everyone is happy. However when we start to get into a fight it gets way out of control. He has been arrested 3 times over the last 3 years for assault. The kids were never home when these things happened. My issue is now is I got a credit card and did not tell him, I spent 1400.00 again without telling him. Now he is scaring me he shredded my debit card and my credit card and said I better find a way to pay the money without using my check, I work 50+ hours a week as it is. He is so controlling, at the same time I am scared to be without him. If someone has some encouragement for me I really need it right now... Thanks

Well all you have to do is take what you need, send the kids to a relatives and just leave. Shut off the acount you have the money going to or get your own account, maybe even in someone else's name. The 1st assault charge should have made your mind up. And you can make it on your own it will be tough, but if you're the bread winner in your home then your doing better then him already. Just leave and go somewhere like your moms and get a restraining order. Don't be scared. The more you talk about it the less you leaving will happen. Good luck

I mean we have been living together for 12 years married for 1 year.

Sweetie you need to get out of that situation as fast as you can. Who is he to tell you where your money goes as long as the bills are paid! And who the hell is he to put his HANDS on you! And who's to say that the next time he doesn't get mad enough and turn on the children. Get you and your children into a safe place. ASAP! Don't stop and think about it, just do it. Get a restaining order on this jerk!

Well seriously there are men out there that would not ever hurt you and let you be an indiviudal. You don't have to take that