If any updates needed see my other posts...


Here's were it get weird now she called me today cause she had a fight with one of her guy friends she wanted me to call and defend her. I took the call kind of as a excuse so we spoke and evenetly I went to her friends house and met up with her. First she took my phone and checks all the numbers then we sat and talked and she came up to me hughed me sat next to me and all. Then she started crying and kept joking how's she never getting back all this. And she just kept cryinng so if I wasn't confused before now I'm totally lost

Why is she doing this . She resting her head on me with her arm around me staring at my eyes telling me don't wait for me... Is she kidding me does she really not have a clue . Could she be lonely and just unsure?? I don't no anymore. I don't no anythign.

Ask for another meeting... take your video camera with you this time.

Then, send it into Starsearch - when she gets her first screentest and a part in a movie, make sure she autographs something for you to remember her by.

She sounds like a 'rising star' to me.

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Ask for another meeting... take your video camera with you this time.

Then, send it into Starsearch - when she gets her first screentest and a part in a movie, make sure she autographs something for you to remember her by.

She sounds like a 'rising star' to me.

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So your sayign its all a act and she doesn't mean it.?

Chris...

It's only my opinion, so take it for what it's worth to you. I'm 56 years old, been through many stages of my own, have a knack or 'reading' people, just check out my other posts for a 'track record'.

I don't judge people, I just sometimes point out some things they already know but don't want it to be true for their own reasons.

All I am suggesting at this point is to take a look at the entire picture and come to your senses and make a choice. It's up to you.

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Well I appreciate your opinion totally. I just wanted to make sure I understood what you were saying in the previous post. I really do not feel like getting hurt but it did feel good a bit to see her emmtional but it might be fake!

I think she is lonely and insecure. And I don't think she's a good catch.

I am starting to hear a lot of that mssg that's she insecure and lonely. I hope I did not make the wrong choice by going there yesterday.

Your first mistake was taking that phone call, Chris. Second one was going to see her. Why in the world did she take your phone and look at the phone numbers - AND you allowed her to do that? She was checking up on you, to see who you have been talking and you allowed that. I am stumped.

Then you still stayed there while she was crying and playing the eye stare game with you? Chris, I have said it before and I will say it again, you really need to not have any contact whatsoever with her. You also need to get into some professional counseling.

This girl is as toxic as wastedump material. Cries and hugs you then tells you not to wait for her. Geeeszzzz. Do what she says then - do not wait for her. Please do not.

I am sure you do not know what to do anymore and which direction to go. The girl is sick and twisted and into drama. I would hope you would rise above all that and find your own way in the world without her and any of her trappings. You said it felt good to see her get so emotional - what did that provide for you? You just got more confused. So many people have said to you to stay away from her and they are all right. Those same people have said you need help getting over her and they are right in that too. You say she is in denial - I wonder if you, also, are in that same boat. Why else would you run to her aid, to defend her? Defend her against what or who? You are not superman, Chris. You are not responsible for anything having to do with her.

Your first mistake was taking that phone call, Chris. Second one was going to see her. Why in the world did she take your phone and look at the phone numbers - AND you allowed her to do that? She was checking up on you, to see who you have been talking and you allowed that. I am stumped.

Then you still stayed there while she was crying and playing the eye stare game with you? Chris, I have said it before and I will say it again, you really need to not have any contact whatsoever with her. You also need to get into some professional counseling.

This girl is as toxic as wastedump material. Cries and hugs you then tells you not to wait for her. Geeeszzzz. Do what she says then - do not wait for her. Please do not.

I am sure you do not know what to do anymore and which direction to go. The girl is sick and twisted and into drama. I would hope you would rise above all that and find your own way in the world without her and any of her trappings. You said it felt good to see her get so emotional - what did that provide for you? You just got more confused. So many people have said to you to stay away from her and they are all right. Those same people have said you need help getting over her and they are right in that too. You say she is in denial - I wonder if you, also, are in that same boat. Why else would you run to her aid, to defend her? Defend her against what or who? You are not superman, Chris. You are not responsible for anything having to do with her.

Yea as much as I want to be over her I'm not seeing her yesterday made me see that. Im not sure how to deal with it but now it's a little harder I want so much for things to be like they were but is this even possible does she have a clue what she wants. Because I'm not sure what I want.

I have the biggest urge to text her now and ask her straight out if she's playing games with me. I can't deal with games I want to know if she's genuined at all or if it is true and she's just lonely and confused I want to no it all.

She would not tell you she is playing games with you. She would say something like, "What do you mean by that?"

She would not tell you she is playing games with you. She would say something like, "What do you mean by that?"

I c, I would like to try things with her again I really would Im not sayign its right But I just would. Should I say something or just leave it. What can I say?

You mean to try working through the relationship? Once was not enough? No matter what anyone says here, you will do what you think is best. Even if it is going back to her. From all I have read, your life would be miserable - but it is your life. I have visions of you led around by a leash but it is your life.

You mean to try working through the relationship? Once was not enough? No matter what anyone says here, you will do what you think is best. Even if it is going back to her. From all I have read, your life would be miserable - but it is your life. I have visions of you led around by a leash but it is your life.

Chris.. Do you really need more 'interpretation'?

READ OUR LIPS... get professional advice as soon as possible. You cannot change or control others, and it's time you learned to take control of YOU instead of being so wishy-washy and easily maniplated.

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/3/3_2_27.gif (http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001_ZSYYYYYYMXDE) Keep your distance and guard yourself against TOXIC WASTE!

I have teh biggest urge to text her now and ask her straight out if shes playing games with me. I can't deal with games I want to know if shes genuined at all or if it is true and shes just lonely and confused I want to no it all.

If you don't want to deal with games, then leave. If you want to stop being confused, stay away from her for a while, so you can clear your mind.

Even if you want to try things out with her again, I think it would be smarter to stay away from her for a while, so that your feelings can settle down first, and that you can think rationally about what you want to do.

I think you're in a nasty situation right now, and the best thing to do is to get out of this emotional roller coaster. Sort yourself out first, seriously!

I have the biggest urge to text her now and ask her straight out if shes playing games with me. I can't deal with games I want to know if shes genieind at all or if it is true and shes just lonely and confused I want to no it all.
Take that urge and flush it down the toilet. Leave the girl alone. If she is not mature , honest and sensible enough to tell you what is on her mind without the theatrics you don't need her. Don't play guessing games with her. Leave her alone!

Yup use were all right I called she wants nothing to do with me... I need some serious help is more then I can say what a day what a weekend I'm am emotionally low/

Well now you know where you stand. It is time to move on. Stop fixating on her and start living.
I wish you well.

Thanks I no were I stand yes.. That's such a sick messed up thing to doooo. God I'm annoyed now... And hurt

yup use were all right i called she wants nothign to do with me..... I need some serious help is more then i can say what a day what a weekend im am emotionally low/

I hate to say it but... WE TOLD YOU SO...

Now, get the help you need and start healing. The sooner, the better.

And, no, I don't want to hear 'but I did everything for her, etc'... read other relationship posts and gain strength to get back to YOU.

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/15/15_9_16.gif (http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001_ZSYYYYYYMXDE) At least now you know where you stand from her point of view, take it serious this time, please.

thanks I no were i stand yes.. Thats such a sick messed up thing to doooo. God im annoyed now... And hurt
Yeah, it's sick and messed up and you're hurting pretty bad about now. But move on. Don't get stuck in the "anger and hurt mode", it does not change anything and it does you no good.
Chalk it up as one of life's ugly lessons and move on.

I hate to say it but.... WE TOLD YOU SO.....

Now, get the help you need and start healing. The sooner, the better.

And, no, I don't want to hear 'but I did everything for her, etc'... read other relationship posts and gain strength to get back to YOU.

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/15/15_9_16.gif (http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001_ZSYYYYYYMXDE) At least now you know where you stand from her point of view, take it serious this time, please.


What kind of help would u sugjest??

HELP YOURSELF!! Plain and simple as this isn't rocket science nor is it easy. Click on the links in my signature AND read some of the other posts in the relationship section. The flavor is the same, Stop contact, and get a life that you enjoy without her!!

Chris, what kinds of relationship/self help books have you read lately?

Alexandra Stoddard wrote a book called, "You Are Your Choices" 50 Ways to Live the Good Life. The book is less than 200 pages but each chapter has wisdom from being responsible to surrounding yourself with people you trust. If you were my son, I would sit you down and have you read it. I'd also have you work through the "One-Way Relationships Workbook" by Alfred H. Ells, especially the section on healing wounds.

Chris - you have to pull yourself up and seriously attend to your own emtional health. No one here can do that for you, as much as we may like to. WE can encourage you, pray for you, give you helps, but you have to do what seems impossible right now. It starts with the first step. I honestly hope you seek some licensed relationship counselor. You deserve better, Chris.

What kind of help would u sugjest????

Wrong response...

Oh, and starting another thread is not the answer either...

Wrong response..............

Oh, and starting another thread is not the answer either....................


No no more threads will be started on this topic. I will admit it all of you are right. I think I just had to see it for myself. It will never work between me and her she told me things why she was not happy and what she wants and I can provide those things to her I understand better now. I no I will make a great B/F one day and will be happy but I will start 1 step at a time. I am call my coverage today and find a therapist to speak with to help with my emotions. But as far sas the other things go you were right. She doesn't want me and it was all a game..

Thanks

Chris, I am happy for you that you have decided to take that first step. This is painful, but is desperately needed for your own well being. You are right - you will find that special woman one day and you will make a wonderful boyfriend - just don't get involved with someone until you get your head straightened out. Believe me, rebounds can be harmful too.

Good luck to you, the best of luck to you.

Hi Chris, Welcome to the world of people who have learned the hard way, by going through the experience of being dumped and played. The bad news is it will happen again, more than likely, and hurt like hell every time. The great news is you will learn to deal with your own emotions, and be able to deal with the rest of the world through realistic eyes, and can tell more quick, with greater efficiency, whether your on the right track. It may suck right now, but it will get better if you chalk it up to lesson learned and let yourself heal. Love yourself, and don't let others put a value on YOU, that's your job.

Good for you dear.

Be your first priority now and take care.

Talaniman is right, it sucks, will happen again, but we adjust and grow - that's why so many of us have a little more experence than you right now, but you'll get there too.

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So here is a update. My ex's mother called me all emotional and all. She said things I was shocked with. Her mom is a Dr a profeesional women I did not know she like me as well as she did. She told me she's wanted to call me right away but it was to hard.
She appologozed that me and her daughter are going through things she said she tells her every night she should change her mind. She said she older and smarter and she knows that I am great and that she would love me to marry her daughter. She also told me she hopes her daughter changes her mind before its to late. She even said I love you wich even shocked my ex. She went on and on and I was more shocked she also told me I will make someone lucky one day.

So After all this going on what happened the other day when I saw my ex it was a setback but her moms call made me feel a lot better.


Also I called my job human resourse I am waiting for them to get back to me with a number of a few Dr's I can't talk with and get some additional help.



This coming weekend is the ski trip with my ex's friends. Of course my ex won't be there or her to close friends either but there will be a few ladies and some guys I want to try to have a fun filled weekend alone...



:)

Go have fun then, and even though you feel better knowing the mother likes you, and disagrees with her daughters choice, its still the exs' choice. Forget her and do your thing.

Go have fun then, and even though you feel better knowing the mother likes you, and disagrees with her daughters choice, its still the exs' choice. Forget her and do your thing.


Your right I will have fun and I will not think about her. Its funny I just logged onto check my responses and she just called . My ex found out my granny was in the hopsital and called to see how she was doing...

It sounds to me as if neither of you are ready to let go..

No matter how this all turns out, I hope it works to your satisfaction and happiness.

Keep us posted.

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So here is a update This weekend I went skiing with out mutual friends there were 2 of my exs closed friends and like 5 guys and 2 couples. Her friends told me that she called and asked if I was okie meaning comfortable with them all since this is the first time I was with our mutual friends alone without her. Well at least the female friends. I can honestly say I didn't think about her at all except 5 am Sunday morning her friends come home 5 30am and tell me there glad I came and that I'm the first ex of any of the girls that they still want to talk to. They tell me that they like me and all this it made me feel good. So now I no I just need to make a lot of friends and I will be happy alone. I had the time of my life I didn't look for not a single girl and was sooooo happy. I didn't think I could find that old happy feeling again. IT was nice and fun. I will post some more soon I just want to say that I had a good time…… be back soon to write more..

Am glad you went, Chris, and enjoyed yourself. Your friends sound like they are sensitive to the ex girlfriend issues and will honor the not talking about her. You can be happy again and will be happy again. Did you find out anything at your work about insurance for seeing a counselor?

Am glad you went, Chris, and enjoyed yourself. Your friends sound like they are sensitive to the ex gf issues and will honor the not talking about her. You can be happy again and will be happy again. Did you find out anything at your work about insurance for seeing a counselor?


They sent me a list of therapists I left a few mssgs now I'm waiting on some return calls.

I am rooting for you, Chris!

Okie so I had a few calls returned to me so far about the therapy and so far our schedules do not fit. I will continue to try there are hundreds in the close areas to me. I feel better knowing that I am trying.

I called them and asked for a therapist who specializes in social anxiety because that’s what I think I am dealing with. I came back from my trip on Sunday night I was okie a little upset cause it was over, but when I was there I was enjoying every second cause I was with good fun people it was so great!!

Then yesterday when I got home from work I went to the gym and the whole time in the gym I was only thinking about who I was going o stay with or what I was going to do. Then I starting thinking about what my ex is doing. So I come to the conclusion I am just worrying about meeting new males and females because I have a hard time starting and keeping conversation. I was so bored last night I went to unos alone and didn’t really speak at all to the females passing even thought I wanted to. I feel this is my problem If I was meeting new people and had a lot of friends I would be fine.

That’s what I need help with.


I am learning a lot about myself and that's the biggest thing I need to work on

The learning process is painful and frustrating sometimes, as your finding out. Have courage and be patient with yourself and the next time you see a pretty girl or anyone for that matter, look them in the eye and smile and say hello, how are you. A great practice and confidence builder. Your on a good path, keep it up.

Thank you I feel good about myself. It just has its ups and downs when its good its reall good but when I feel down I really feel down...

Me to, that's life.

Okie here the new update. So my weekend went great I hung out and enjoyed myself while I was away Saturday I got a text from my 17 yr old cousin she just ran away from home for whateva reason and needed a place to stay. Now I'm upstate and can't do anything from there so I text her and told her when I will be back and all that. My ex’s friends were skiing with us and I explained the story to them. So yesterday I was at work and I got a text from my ex saying that she's sorry for bothering me but she wants to no what's going on with my cousion. So I gave her the short version and explained I was working and coudnt go over too much details she asked me to call her 3 times and I did I explained again what was going on with her and that I was going to talk to her my mother that night “my aunt”. So my ex told me she wanted to come and help me to make sure she don’t step on me and help me setup the rules and all. I said I'm not sure how comfortable that would make me since were broken up and she didn’t really push it but I could tell she did want to come. So after I kept a firm attitude that it might not be right she agreed and that was that. I wound up then saying you no what lets try it come to my aunts house with me and we will talk to my aunt. So I went to the gym and them home to shower I picked up my ex and we went together on our way I asked what she wanted from me she said not a thing and how she just wanted to help she said she wants to be friends good friends and that’s it. So I explained I do not think I can do that cause of jealousy I said if you start dating it won't work and If I start dating its going to make you jealous so she turns around and says No way would I be jealous she said I can do what I want and it woudnt bother her. She told me that she could stay with me even if I was dating someone and she would even hook me up if she had the chance. So now I'm getting more baffled. So we go to my aunts house talk for a while we leave she says she wants coffe so we go to star bucks buy coffee then go back to her friends house I stay there for a while and we just talk about anything but us. After about 1 hour my cousin calls and tells me she's coming over she comes over my friends ex house and we talk she needs to pick up cloths from her b/f’s house so I'm about to go take her and my ex says I want to come and she does. We get to my cousins b/fs house and she goes into get her cloths while she's in there now my ex says I want to come over and talk to her I was like fine so she comes over and talks to her for a few hours I went out to buy us all food and all and somehow we get into the conversation about me and her with my cousin how she's just confused and how everyone likes, loves me, and tells her she should be with me. But she has to live her life and try things alone. How she wants to explore different things alone and all. My cousin now goes to sleep and she's hanging with me alone a little weird but she starts looking and picking my back like a monkey and all then she turns around and goes “this is a little nasty” I have a ingrown hair bumb on my inner thigh and I don’t want anyone else to see it can you help so of course I say fine and she takes her pans off blah blah blah. She covers up cause she's VERY HAIRY hasn’t shaved in weeks or legs or trimmed anything . She has gained at least 10-15 pounds its weird Im doing everything I can to get into better shape she's doing the opposite. She tells she does not want me or to be with me but she's the one who calls yes she doesn’t talk about us its always about my family its so weird I'm falling into a trap… Is she's insaine am I insaine. Why is she not taking care of herself?? She tells me I lost more hair so I made a comment you gained some weight and she goes I'm starting my diet 2morow…. Im so confused what's she trying to pull??

O BTW I found a therapist I'm telling him all of this once I start …. Pleasse people what's this about

She feels very close and comfortable with you but is not in love with you. You are still in love with her.
If this bothers you so much, stay away from her. It's that simple.

Just can't say no to her can you? Most of your confusion comes from your own leftover feelings from being with her. She has the control here, and you just go along with the program as she slips back in your life, and taking what she wants. Learn to say NO, and keep her out of your business, and you'll be less confused.

Ur all right I didn't totally ever let go yet. I am trying 100% but once she wants in I let her in without too much hesitation…… and she is winning it seems like she does this when she's bored

Just can't say no to her can you?? Most of your confusion comes from your own leftover feelings from being with her. She has the control here, and you just go along with the program as she slips back in your life, and taking what she wants. Learn to say NO, and keep her out of your business, and you'll be less confused.
So do u think its possible she's just bored and doesn’t want to let me go yet?? Or she's just waiting for something better to come along?? Cause she's gained weight she's unsure about her life. Then I forgot to post that I asked her if she wants to come x-mas shoping Saturday she said sure if it doesn't make u feel weird so I said does it make u feel weird and she said no immediately….

I'm so lost what to do.

No your not, you just can't bring yourself to do what must be done. I cannot judge what's going on with her, but I've paid attention to what you've written. Some time away from her is needed for you to figure it out, and to get that cloud of confusion away from you. That means no contact, and you being single, and building your life without her, not around her.

No your not, you just can't bring yourself to do what must be done. I cannot judge whats going on with her, but I've paid attention to what you've written. Some time away from her is needed for you to figure it out, and to get that cloud of confusion away from you. That means no contact, and you being single, and building your life without her, not around her.

That definitely has some truth to it!

Everything he's trying to tell you is the truth. You've got to listen to him, I have, and it's working. You know you'll meet someone better one day, someone who won't mess your head up or play games with your mind, just keep telling yourself that. You don't need her company for christmas shopping, or christmas itself. Just enjoy christmas yourself and spend time with the people who matter the most to you. Friends and Family. :)

Chris, I am not surprised that you fell for your ex's text. She found a way to worm back in and you allowed that. She had no business in your family business, so to say.

I don't know why she is not taking care of herself and frankly I don't care and you should not care either. No contact means just that, no contact. I hope you learned something in this - next time she texts, just delete it without reading it. You can block her from your phone you know and you can block her texting too.

You just did not need her presence. She wants to be in charge of her game with you. Do not go Christmas shopping with her - please. Keep some of your dignity and stay the heck away from her and all she does.

Chris, I am not surprised that you fell for your ex's text. She found a way to worm back in and you allowed that. She had no business in your family business, so to say.

I don't know why she is not taking care of herself and frankly I don't care and you should not care either. No contact means just that, no contact. I hope you learned something in this - next time she texts, just delete it without reading it. You can block her from your phone you know and you can block her texting too.

You just did not need her presence. She wants to be in charge of her game with you. Do not go Christmas shopping with her - please. Keep some of your dignity and stay the heck away from her and all she does.

This is probably the route I will take. I just wanted to let her in and see what happens but it was more like she was just there for drama and to leave a door open to me just in case things don't go her way she has me here.

Or that how I feel... The only reason I mention her taking care of herself was because it made me happy she wasn't looking for people or other guys. I look way to deep into things!!

The only reason i mention her taking care of herself was because it made me happy she wasnt looking for people or other guys. I look way to deep into things!!!!!

This may come off a bit harsh, but you got to get past that. Whether she's looking for someone shouldn't affect you. Because if you do find out that she is looking for someone, or she went on a date with someone, you will be crushed, and you will have a setback so large that it'll be day 1 again.

No calls. No texts. Unless absolutely necessary...

That is so true I would be crushed. It actually happened again yesterday I was at a mutual friends house she new I was going to be there and she wasn't suppose to come there, she actually had plans to. She called out mutual friend and confirmed I was coming and she made it clear she will not be there. So I went and we were cooking and baking with friends she calls the mutual friend and says she outside cause she's bored and wants something to eat. She also said that she was only coming for like 2 hours cause she has plans so she comes in and I give her a attitude and she asks why am I being nasty so I tell her she's only here cause I am she would not agree but after seeing me annoyed she starts hugging me. I pushed her away and say what do you want from me?? I was like lets just cut ties completely “even that I didn't mean that” she said she didn't want to and she wanted be to be a big part of her life. So I was like what do you mean as dating she said no I'm confused but I no I don't want to give you up.

I no this is as much my fault as it is hers. I keep on playing into her. And that last comment scares me about her finding someone it would probably drive me nuts. I need to listen to people here but once I get a small glimse of hope I fall back into a rut. At this point I think she knows that.

As someone said, We must decide whether to fish or cut bait.

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR I wish it was easier

It made it so much easier when she didn't call and once she did I got all mushy

Why don't you put her number on block on your phone? That way she can't ring you? Unless a little piece inside you still wants her to call, if so your just going round the twist. Backwards and Forwards. It will only improve your healing if you block all contact with her.

Oof. That is a tough one. What do you do when your ex corners you like that.. well, what do you do when a rabid dog corners you in a room? Try not to make eye contact... and run when you get the chance? Don't blow up at her like that because it shows that you still care and by you blowing up at her, it tells her that she drives you insane. You don't need that. Just act cool, calm, collected, and act like she's just one of the people that you don't really know that well in the crowd. If she asks you a question, answer with a short (but not rude) reply. Try not to initiate any sort of communication with her unless you're absolutely cornered. Again, it's important to show her that you're not mad, even if she is driving you to the ground.

For example, the minute she shows up, don't even act like you care if she comes. You don't have to ask her why she's there... she knows why she's there. She's there because you're there. You don't have to accuse her. It's like yelling at a bank robber that he robbed the bank.. . duh?

When she hugs you, step back and say, IT WAS YOUR DECISION FOR US TO BREAK UP. AND I DON'T WANT THERE TO BE ANY CONFUSION.

Although she may not want to give you up, it could be because she wants you on the back burner. Regardless of whether this is true, you got to end it all.

Hope you the best of luck bud.

I am plain out of energy today, but have read this stuff and will have a lot to say about it Chris, after I take a rest and then I will be well armed to set your head straight - or try to anyway. You don't deserve to go through this, and the only one stopping you from healing now is YOU... So be ready when I come back to talk to you.

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/23/23_165_13.gif (http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001_ZSYYYYYYMXDE) http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/23/23_165_10.gif (http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001_ZSYYYYYYMXDE)Not a good mixture... and neither are you and that girl, but more later.

I am plain out of energy today, but have read this stuff and will have a lot to say about it Chris, after I take a rest and then I will be well armed to set your head straight - or try to anyway. You don't deserve to go through this, and the only one stopping you from healing now is YOU... So be ready when I come back to talk to ya.

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/23/23_165_13.gif (http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001_ZSYYYYYYMXDE) http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/23/23_165_10.gif (http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001_ZSYYYYYYMXDE)Not a good mixture... and neither are you and that girl, but more later.


Uh ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I still think a garlic necklace and a silver bullet would do wonders, Chris.

Seriously, maybe consider making new friends - ones that have no ties or clue or knowledge of your ex girlfriend. Ones that cannot be played, ones she does not know of and will never ever know of - because you are not going to broadcast that to any of your friends and relatives. They all seem to be putty in this girl's hands.

Are you able to consider even moving to another location?

Moving to another location because of a woman is a bit extreme in my opinion. Stand your ground, but make new friends.

A new circle of friends may be the challenge you need to help broaden your horizons.

I know moving to another location can be thought of as extreme but this guy is incapable of maintaining his boundaries right now.

Maybe a vacation from your friends, will help you regroup.

OK, I'm a little rested up now.
To begin with, I think it is high time for you to find a strong woman friend, not necessarily intimate, but one that is willing to stand by you and help you get through this.

Second, you need to be around town and the family with this woman, and have her do most of the 'talking' have her literally indicate that you belong to her... Do you think you can find a woman friend who would go through this with you?

Since you seem too darned weak to fight off that demon yourself, you will need her to do most of the exorsizing for you. Tell her you need help with this 'stalker'.

You don't have to move out of our town or give up your friends. Just make sure they all know that you plan on staying and that you will not give an inch.

Change your email address and share it only with those who you want. It sounds drastic, but what you are going through is also drastic to the point where your life is upside down and it's high time you take charge again.

If and when 'she' shows up anywhere around you, turn around and let your 'new gal' take charge - women can be very threatening toward each other and your new gal will win - if she plays her role right.

You have gone through enough with this 'lady' and it is high time that you get rid of any notion that you might eventually get back together and actually be happy - she will ride all over you and not let you have a minute of peace or freedom... so you have to fight a dirty fight with this one.

Believe me, if you have a female friend, she will be willing to play along, because all women like a challenge and she will act her best - I've done it myself and enjoyed every minute.

What Talaniman suggests is a good idea, because I think that most of your mutual friends are having a field day watching you and her - it sounds better than Sex and the City - more drama... Take a break from them and spend it with new friends that will help you get your life back.

This may sound strange to all, but when 'push comes to shove' what have you got to lose? So give it a try. It is better than what you are going through right now...

It is time to (s)hit, or get off the pot.



http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/36/36_33_13.gif (http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001_ZSYYYYYYMXDE)Are you a tiger or a http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/36/36_33_9.gif (http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001_ZSYYYYYYMXDE)?

While you are considering options, etc. consider visiting this site: Songs we sing Part 1 ( 1 2) , on Ask Me Help Desk (Home). Lots of really neat songs; I am enjoying them for my own part and bet you will too. Another thing that helps me is to get out and walk (or run, if you prefer). Go for about one hour; you will enjoy it.

While you are considering options, etc., consider visiting this site: Songs we sing Part 1 ( 1 2) , on Ask Me Help Desk (Home). Lots of really neat songs; I am enjoying them for my own part and bet you will too. Another thing that helps me is to get out and walk (or run, if you prefer). Go for about one hour; you will enjoy it.


What is the website songs we sing?

Hey Okie,

Here is my new information. Saturday comes along 9am and my ex cause me because we had plans to go shopping when I answered I could tell she was all tired cause she got home from a club at 5am . OK No problem so I told her we do not have to go and that its not a big deal she told me she wanted to and that we can go another time if I would wait. So I said no I have to go today….We got into it a bit and she said that she does not think I can handle a freidship and my answer was No I do not want to be friends its all or nothing. She explained she does not want more then that and that she does not want to try us again. So I said that’s it do not call me text me forget I'm alive and I will do the same as I've been doing. After that I went to a mutual friends house to go shopping with that person she asked what happened and I told her and I also said after this conversation I do not want her name mentioned or to ever talk about her again. She agreed and said good because I rather not be put in the middle so we both had a understanding. She said you no you lucky you didn’t go with her shopping because yesterday when I was with your ex she told me use were going to go shopping and I told her it wasn’t a good idea but she said its fine because you both agreed it was only as friends. Now she told me that my ex goes I have a feeling chris is going to propose to me in a restaurant after we finish shopping her friends Angela answer her “ANNA who is my ex” Anna are you insaine why would he do that anna answer because I feel it. Angela then asks anna wait so U don’t want to date him at all right “anna” said no not a chance I'm sure I do not want to date him. So what are you going to do if he asks you to marry him. Anna answers well if the rock is big enough I would say yes. At that point her friend flips on her and tells her how insaine she is. Angels asks so if you won't date him why would you marry him she explains things would be different.

So all this is the girl I dated for 3 years
What gives
NC is a must now she is insaine


So I Decided she wants me around ebcause of whateva reasons but I no she does not want me I want her around because I'm insecure in my own ways I have a lot to offer good job car nice apartment I'm going to change myself grow and become more secure and will find someone who makes me happy... I can't deal with this baby ish I can't believe she even said that depends how big the rock is.

I can't deal with this baby ish I can't believe she even said that depends how big the rock is.

Well you've answered all your questions right there then haven't you. You don't need her anymore.

I hope you finally say "good riddance".

What is the website songs we sing??

I would consider this, "Self Help with music therapy": You are on the web site already: Home - Family & People - Relationships - Songs We Sing Part 1 Lots of great songs that will keep you busy for awhile.

I hope you finally say "good riddance".


I can't believe what she's said,

Yes this is it... Why would anyone want to be with someone like that!!

I guess I was blinded by my fears of being single.

Chris,

Don't beat yourself up too bad. Its normal to go through what you are going through.

Me and my Ex haven't spoken in 4 months it being holiday season I have become a

partial wreck. The thing you have to value is u. If you value u you will see the light.

For me pride was an issue more then anything to get dumped for me is the worst

feeling in the world. You second guess everything and wonder what you could have done.

The answer is nothing. Remember you deserve better and the more time you waste

worrying about her and what she is doing the longer your healing will take.

Good Luck!

"You second guess everything and wonder what you could of done." Amen! Go No Contact, listen to good music, exercise, pray, get stronger with each day.

Do yourself a favor. Do nothing. If she is serious about you then make her know what's its like to be with out you. I know you may care and love her, but you need to let her miss you. Play it cool. Don't worry. Take a deep breath. If she is a crazy maniac then do the healthy thing and get away. I know us girls are crazy sometimes but also remember sometimes we love so much and we can't control our emotions. She may want to let you go, but love you too much to. I don't know the whole basis of what is going on but would like t. My screen name and my myspace is in my profil, please contact me and lets work this out!