PDA

View Full Version : What does it mean to be "together" with someone


s0oiintoyux0
Dec 1, 2007, 07:01 PM
Being together with someone, from my point of view, means that you are with that other person and you don't hook up or see anyone else. But what happens if someone else comes into your life and you hook up with them? Its complicated because there's so many different views people have on being together but I'm just not sure of what it can really mean.

mjl
Dec 1, 2007, 07:13 PM
In my opinion if you are "together" with someone you aren't with anyone else. I don't think it is complicated, and I don't think there are many views on the subjuect. You are either Together with that person or you aren't. And when you are together with that person you aren't with anyone else.

kp2171
Dec 1, 2007, 07:46 PM
Every relationship should come with a "lets talk openly" clause. Meaning you CANNOT assume what you want is what the other person wants.

Most of the time, in my experience, being together means monogomous. But I have dated two women who were open to and wanted "open" relationships.. meaning they wouldn't get ticked if I went out on a date with another woman and they did not "promise" to not see other men. The more serious the physical and emotional side became, the less "open" it felt...

But I've dated and know people who think that there is absolutely nothing wrong with dating several people at once. And I don't think there is, as long as the other people know about it and agree that its acceptable. I've always been a one woman guy, but that's just me.

But most of the time, I think people try to focus on one relationship at a time. We screw those up enough without the distraction of other relationships.

s0oiintoyux0
Dec 2, 2007, 01:57 PM
See I'm with this guy but then there's this other guy who I'm really starting to have feelings for. And I fight with the guy I'm with a lot but we get over it the next second and everythings fine. He knows how to make me smile, make me laugh, he knows just the right things to say and I'm falling for him. But then this other guy comes into my life and I've hooked up with him a few times before but it just ended on a bad note and we didn't talk for a while. But now he seems serious because he's saying he wants to take it slow and such. But I don't know its just really hard because eventually I'm going to have to make a decision on whether to leave the guy I'm with or to stay with him.

kp2171
Dec 2, 2007, 04:00 PM
Yeah, you are going to have to make that decision, most likely. I dated a women with a no strings attached approach, but that was agreed on in the beginning... most people aren't going to settle for being close and then having to compete for your time.

Well... the wrong guy can still make you laugh and give you the security of knowing he's there. And the new guy always has infinite possibilities to offer.

So you just need to think about what you are wanting. If you aren't ready for a relationship, or at least one with guy one, step back sooner than later. He deserves to be with someone who is vested in him, not looking around, and the longer it drags out the worse it'll be.

Security isn't much of a reason to stay with a person you aren't sure you want to be with. You'll resent them in time if you stay.

And look, you don't get it easy. You can dump guy one, try it with guy two, and still end up without either. OK.

So?

There's no guarantee. Don't sneak around on guy one. Don't be afraid to be alone if it doesn't work out with guy two. Most mistakes we make in relationships can be resolved, or at least we won't try to make them again in the next new relationship.