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View Full Version : Am I immature or is he cold hearted?


leah0902
Dec 1, 2007, 11:34 AM
My boyfriend and I have been together on and off for 6 years. We have a 3yr old together and 2 yrs ago we decided to be serious and stay together. We never got serious because we were both young and just having fun (I was 15yrs and he was 17yrs). He knows about everything in my past and I know everything about his past and neither one of us were angels. The first 3yrs we were mostly off and occasionally getting back together for a couple of months at a time, but for some reason he always found his way back to my heart. Now I'm in love with him and he is the first person I've ever been in love with. My boyfriend is like no one else Ive ever met, we don't have sex that much (3 or 4 times a month), he does not cuddle with me, we don't even make-out (we kiss but not french kiss). Its weird because I know he is not cheating because I can call him at whatever time and he will pick up, I can go anywhere with him, and pop up wherever he is and won't catch him doing anything (Ive tried). This confuses me more because if he is not cheating than what is the problem. I do know that when we were together in high school and up until 3yrs ago he was so sweet and new just how to touch me and kiss me hold me and could make me melt in his hand, But then he did not love me and I did not love him we were just having fun. When we broke up this last time he started dating older women ( like 6 or 7 years older) and this time when we got back together he seem so nonchalant. I know he loves me but he treats me like a best friend rather then a girlfriend. I know that his last girlfriends put him through a lot of drama but I'm not like them and I don't like to just chill and watch him play dominoes, cards, and the game with his friends. I want some attention and I want to feel loved. He thinks I need to grow up because there is more to life than kissing and hugging and having sex, but he makes me feel like he is not attracted and its just a matter of time before he starts cheating. Am I immature

ChihuahuaMomma
Dec 1, 2007, 11:51 AM
It sounds like he may just be with you because of the child. Sorry to be so blunt, but it doesn't sound like he is very romantically interested in you. Or maybe he's just not a very affectionate person.

leah0902
Dec 1, 2007, 12:07 PM
Do you think we still have a chance or should I give it up?

ChihuahuaMomma
Dec 1, 2007, 12:11 PM
I don't know your relationship past what you have posted. I would suggest talking with him, and deciding that between the two of you.

leah0902
Dec 1, 2007, 12:22 PM
I have tried to talk to him but I don't think anything will change. I would just hate to miss out on the love of my life my life because I'm being inpatient. Would I be unresonable if I left him.

ChihuahuaMomma
Dec 1, 2007, 12:26 PM
I don't think it would be unreasonable. Do what makes you happy.

Ash123
Dec 1, 2007, 03:40 PM
Answer: You are both immature... (sorry, nothng personal.)

The Solution: Good grades. Goos Job. Good Goals. Good values... It's harder than it sounds, but I do not see a lot of big steps from either of you.

The child is most important and I think it's time to see how to make the best house for him/her. If he wants to be a father, you may have to just grow up more together. If he continues to be distant, you may need to ask if you all are better off apart.

BOTH of you need to work on this I think.

ChihuahuaMomma
Dec 1, 2007, 03:45 PM
That sounds about right, and the most important part: YOUR CHILD.

Once you are a parent, your feelings, needs, and wants become SECOND to your child's. And a man's after that, even if he is your child's father. Your child comes first no matter what. Do what you think would be best for your child.

leah0902
Dec 3, 2007, 02:37 PM
First Of All My Child Has Always Been First In My Life And In His Life. I Just Needed A Second Opinon On A Big Change I Was Making In My Life. We Talked And He Is Not Going To Change And Im Not Settling So We Have Decided To Just Be Friends. It Was Hard And We Have A lot Of Things We Need To Still Work Out With Raising Our Child, But I Feel It Is Better This Way Because Iam Tired Of ARGUING And Streesing Out About Something I Can't Change. So Thank U Anyway!!