Why do my kids have more respect for the abusive father rather than the loving mother?

Why do my kids have more respect for the abusive father rather than the loving mother?
If the abuser is treated with respect, he is less likely to cause them pain. You, as the non-abusive parent get to see their anger toward their father. The fact that they show you their true feelings is a good thing!

Let them know that you are on their side and that when they say mean things to you it hurts you. Tell them that you love them anyway and that it's OK to tell you how they feel about being abused. They may need counselling. Can you separate them from the abusive parent?

Why do my kids have more respect for the abusive father rather than the loving mother?
Well if it was me I would rather my mom than my dad because moms are very inportant because its mostly moms that bring you up not dads. And I think they should respect you more than there father

I left their father years ago and raised them with some contact with their father I never stopped them from seeing him, his new wife stopped the visits so the were few and far apart. They blame me because he stayed away

If you are being the best person you can be right now, the very best mom you can be then you have done all you can.