Okay to make a VERY long story short... My mother and father never got married and broke up before I was born. My dad and mother have both remarried. When I was 12 my dad asked me if I wanted to live with him and I said yes (I'm a people pleaser and I didn't want to make my dad sad... plus I kind of did cause I had some issues with my mom back then since my little sister had been born). The custody battle went on till I was I think 15 or 16 years old. I ended up decideing to stay with my mom right at the end of the battle.

Long story shorter... my dad and mom hate each other, my step mom and dad like my step dad, and my step mother mildly gets along with my mom...

And because there is so much distaste for one another between my four parents... I always got to hear SOMETHING negative about the other! I'M SICK OF IT!! I love all my parents (well... I have some issues with my step dad but you... ), and I don't want to hear them talk smack on each other!

Ever since I told my step mom about a story I put on the web that I didn't particuarlly want my dad to see yet, but wanted her to critique (I asked her not to show dad), and she did (her telling him started what would end up being a fight that would last a year and a half), my mother tells me all the time that I can't trust my step mom cause she will ALWAYS tell my dad everything and that my secrets can never be safe with her.

My step mom and my dad both make my mother out to be a money hungery *itch (and she's not). To add on they make my step dad out to be a freaking saint! Saying that they know him well enough and that he is such a great guy and that if I ever needed him he would be there for me and blah blah blah... My step dad escapes from our house everyonce and a while to smoke crack, and he has cheated on my mother TWICE!! So basically they act like my mother is the devil and my step dad is the great man... THEY DON'T KNOW ANYTHING!

Basically, coming down to the question, how do I tell my parents... I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT!! My dad is big on respect and "Won't be disrespected by and adolescant" -.-'' and my mother is a bit hard at listening... So how do I tell my thick skulled parents that if they want to talk $hit to say it to each other... NOT ME!! I love them all! I don't want to hear it!!

Anyone?

You could try to tell them how you feel about them talking about each other like this and that if they absolutely have to please could they refrain from doing it in front of you because your sick of hearing them b1tching all the time

Yer I agree with albear just tell them how you feel its not fair you should play pig in the middle you are young and have your life to worry about and that's what they should thinking about.

That's the thing though... my mom would deny talking crap and my dad would say that I'm disrespecting and not listening... how do I get them to listen to me?

For your mum try interupting her when she is talking crap,(to tell her that she's doing so now)
As for your dad say '
That's the thing I'm trying not to listen but you keep going on about how bad my mum is and to be honest I'm sick of it, so if you have to please refrain from doing so in front of me,'

Yeah OK its easy for me to type the thing here and standing up to your parents is a big thing to do, but you must try to assert yourself in a calm and sensible manner if you want to be taken seriously. That's what I would suggest

Thanks guys you're a big help... does anyone else have parents like this? I wish they would just get over their differences and try to get along for me... you would think as my parents they could do that.

I am sorry you parents are jerks. It appears you are the adult in the house.

I would sit them down separately and simply say to them (let's start with mom) "I realize you can't stand dad, but YOU chose him as my father. Out of respect for me, I expect you to stop talking negatively about him in my presence. It upsets me when people I love talk so horribly about each other. You always told me if I can't say something nice, just don't say anything at all. Can we all agree to that?"

I would do this when things are relatively calm - not after a heated debate. If you have an aunt or uncle that can help, get them involved. You shouldn't have to live in that. Might be worth a call to Dr. Phil, even.

Well, I didn't have this problem with parents, but I did with my grandparents.

Basically, according to my dad's mom, MY mom raped him and trapped him into marriage with someone lower class than he was, and my mom was a money grubbing witch.

This (understandably) ticked off my mom's parents.

They fought back and forth for ages.

The only thing that finally stopped it was at Christmas the year I was married, they were both at my mom's place, and someone said something snippy, and the other responded with something else snippy, and I looked at them both and said "You are adults. Whatever your differences, they don't need to be aired here. I love you both, but I don't need to hear this anymore--it's 20 years old! IF this behaviour does not cease, I will decline to invite either of you to my wedding. I love you, and want you there, but I don't want MY day ruined by YOUR anger with each other"

Granted, that won't really work for you---but something along those lines might. The next time someone is talking trash, simply say, "I know that YOUR relationship with (that person) is not the best, but I still love him/her. I really would appreciate it if you stopped saying bad things about (that person) in front of me, because it makes me feel sad and uncomfortable when you do."

My parents aren't always jerks... the negative talk mainly starts with my mom on the way to meet my dad half way when I'm going to his house (my dad lives 3 hours away from me) and things will just start randomly going towards my mom and my dad or my step mom have to say SOMETHING about my mother. It's not nearly as bad as during the custody battle... then I was hearing it all the time...

Up until the end up the custody battle my parents always had something to say about the others. Always making the other seem like the worse parent. They actually aren't as bad as they used to be... but they still do it...

I'll admit though... I'm kind of scared to talk to my dad about how upset I am about the name calling and stuff. Every time I upset my dad or my step mom, or argue with them heatedly, they threaten to drive me back to mom's... and I have to shut up and never really state my point cause I don't want to go homes because I NEVER see my little brothers and I love them and want to spend as much time with them as possible. I'm scared if I accuse dad of saying stuff about mom and he denys it then he is going to get all mad at me and over react like he usually does. I don't think dad would! But I just think of all the times he's mad moutains out of mole hills and if he could really back fire my simple request back in my face. That's why I'm kind of scared to use what you said Synnen... I know eventually I will blow but... I don't want to upset my dad...

My mom I don't think I would have that big a problem with...

You don't have to accuse him of anything. Just point blank tell them that you really feel uncomfortable about discussions coming up with the other parent involved. You wish to be kept out of it - good or bad. That it makes you feel uncomfortable because you love them all.

Tell them that you are the *kid* and it is wrong and unfair of them to put you in the middle of their adult problems. Not that you are a kid, but it might get them to put things in a little better perspective.
Also I agree with your mom that your step mom can't be trusted to not tell your dad everything. I won't tell her anything that I didn't want getting back to my dad.

I am sorry I didn't see this thread yesterday. BiW, I had the same problem when I was your age and it carried on into adulthood.

I tried this tactic when I was your age first. I remained very calm and quiet and looked them straight in their eyes and said: "I am going to tell you what I tell her (him), she is my mother (he is my father) and I don't want to hear it. Your issues are between each other, not me. I love you both equally but please leave me out of it." Then I would hang my head and slowly go up to my room. You would think that would work but it didn't completely stop it. My parents were very angry with each other and totally self-involved.

Finally when I hit my 20's I found the perfect solution for myself. I would completely ignore what they were saying and talk about something completely different. You could just talk about a problem you are having in school or with a friend that you can pretend you need them to impart some important parental wisdom on. You can talk about a homework assignment you have to complete and ask for help. Talk about a conversation you had with one of your grandparents -- the parent of the person you are speaking with. Talk about something funny that happened with your brothers, your friends, an incident at school. Talk about something that was in the news and encourage discussion about it by asking questions. Ask their advice about something. My point is, just arm yourself with enough subject changing material ahead of time so that you won't be floundering for a topic change. Usually a funny story or joke is a good way to take their minds off the negative topics. Either they will go along with the change of subject, or question you why you are changing it. If they question you, then use my first tactic that I used as a teenager that I mentioned above. If you can muster up a tear in the eye while quietly telling them how you feel, neither one will get angry with you. How can you get angry at your kid who is crying and hurting? It should really make them think about what they are doing to you. If either one responds and talks to you about it, then you can go on to tell them how upsetting it is for you to have to listen to him/her bad mouth your mother/father. You could tell them Dr. Phil says it is the worst thing a parent can do to a child. The problems between parents need to stay between the parents. Then stop talking and let that sink in.

Just come right out and say it... SHUT UP!! That's the way, it works when my parents are fighting.