Hello all, my name is Craig, and I look forward to hearing back from some of you.

Nine years ago I met and fell in love with this girl. She was smart, funny, concerned, caring and everything I could have ever wanted in a relationship. I had moved her in with me one day, and life couldn't have been any better. I know she felt the same way as I could see it in her actions towards me, her eyes, her smile and every other way that makes you "know".

After several months of living together I came home from work one day to find that her and her son were suddenly gone. There was no explanation, and no forwarding address or phone number to talk to her about it. I grieved over this for months, and then I eventually found someone else to be with.

Although I was with somebody new, I couldn't ever fully get over the departure of the girl that I had fell so hard for. It affected me in such a way that the new girl I was with knew every detail about her, because I talked about it a lot. This new girl I was with ended up being my wife, and we were together for 8 years. I had never forgotten about the one that got away, and wanted to talk to her, and ask the hard questions, but I was trying to get over her and move on with my life.

After my wife and I divorced I moved out of state to be close to my brother, and to develop more work and income for myself and my son. While living with my brother I ended up meeting somebody new and things escalated there as well. I ended up getting my own house and moved this new girl in with me. Although this new girl and I seemed to be happy, and had much fun together, something seemed to be missing from me. Something wasn't letting me give all of myself to her. I relate it to loving her, but not being in love with her.

She and I had almost no problems in our relationship, and talked about everything. We had been together for almost a year and a half when suddenly my ex from 9 years ago had contacted me via myspace. Just seeing the message from her, and realizing who she was sent me through an immediate emotional roller coaster. I couldn't reply to her right away, and had to actually think of what to say.

My love for her had never died, and I still dreamed of that day that we would be together. I confessed to her my love for her was still there, and that despite what she had done I wanted her back, no matter the price. We talked on the phone for many hours throughout the week, and I found out she was with someone else, just as I was. Her relationship with her partner seemed to be less than desirable as per the conversations and things she has told me about him. Although my relationship was happy, I wanted the one I loved back into my life.

My current g/f and I talked one day, and I spilled my heart out to her and told her how I felt and what was going on. It crushed her as anyone could imagine. After a long 2 days, we packed her stuff and moved her to a friends house.

My ex from 9 years ago and I decided we were going to give it a go again. I was on cloud 9 once again.

Suddenly, 2 weeks after planning and talking, she told me it wasn't going to happen. Despite the fact she wasn't 100% happy in her relationship, and knew that she could be with me. I know that she had strong feelings for me, she expressed that she still loved me, wanted to be with me, etc. I determined from what she told me that she was scared of change.

So, with all of that being said, why did I allow myself to be so vulnerable? Willing to lose the relationship I was in? And willing to sacrifice everything I owned and worked for, just to move across the country for this girl? Because I have loved her from the day I laid eyes on her, and I would be willing to lay my life down before hers if challenged to do so. I would give up everything to just gain that one thing I want so deperately.

So where do I go from here?

Did you ever find out Why she left without saying a word?

She was 20 years old at the time, had a child and one on the way (not mine). She was "confused" and was having a hard time dealing with someone who cared for her, and was willing to do anything for her because she never had that in her life before. She seems to be unstable in relationships from what I have gathered, but my love for her will never die. I would do anything to have her in my life again. I know that you can not force someone to want you or to love you, but when she tells me that she loves me, and everything about me... she knows I would do anything for her...

I just don't get it.

She might just like to have control over you, or know that she has a "back up" if things don't work out with her current relationship. If she really loved you and wanted to be with you, she would end her current relationship.

I don't know, possibly. It is hard to imagine what goes through one's head. I just feel like I would wait an eternity for her to come back to me.

It's really sad, but I relate my feelings to her as Forest Gump was to Jenny

My advice to you would be to just be really careful. I can understand the way that you feel as far as wanting to be with her, but you wouldn't want to risk getting back together just to have her leave again. As much as I love my ex boyfriend, I don't know that I would ever want to be with him again if he would ask me. I've been through so much pain as far as he's concerned and wouldn't want to be put through it again.

No matter what you decide to do, just try to guard your heart. It's not often that anyone gets a second chance with the one that got away. Good luck to you.

DAY 2

After she had left the first time, I knew that I would have a hard time trusting her again. Although I really wanted something to work out, it seems pretty obvious to me that perhaps I was living in a fantasy. When she came back into my life and told me how much she has thought about me through the years, and that she still cared for me, I really thought we could make this work. I was more than willing to sacrifice everything I owned to be able to get enough money to move back to her.

When she told me she thought it was wrong that I was willing to sacrifice everything, and that she felt she wasn't worth me doing that, I disagreed whole heartedly. Material possessions can be replaced, the love of your life cannot.

Despite her excuses of thinking she will be happy ever after with her current b/f, and whatever BS she gave me for putting a dagger in my heart again, I am finding that getting over it is much much easier this time. We used to talk on the phone every morning at 630am, and I found myself wide awake at about 5 am staring at my phone. I eventually went back to sleep and woke about 8am and never did get that phone call. I had also sent her an email, and she read it, but did not reply.

I love that girl, and I would do anything in the world for her and her children. I believe that in my willingness to standby and believe in the statement I just said, ti have to be willing to let her go and give her what she wants. If I do not do that, then I am not truly willing to do anything for her. I will give her the time she wants, and if it was meant to be, then perhaps one day they will not be together. This will allow the complications to be gone, making it easier for us to be able to get together.

Today is going to be a good day.

That's a very good way to think. Sometimes loving someone means letting them go to figure out who they are and what they want.

I'm very glad to hear that today is going to be a good day for you... I hope that it's followed by many more. :)

WOW! What a story.

It truly is remarkable that you would have such strong feelings for this girl some 9 years after the break-up. I really think this has to do with the unresolved emotions you felt when she left and maybe not love(I say this with the utmost respect).

She left you and you never knew why, only that you were hurt badly by it, the situation took a lot from you (self-esteem, self-worth,etc) you carried it for 9 years and the fact she has re-entered your life brings it all up again. You, when she contacted you, may have subconciously or consciously realized you were the one in control and the answer was there to be found. That's what I think you are searching for, the answer as to why and the fact she came back to you puts what you have lost back into place.

Seeing as how I do not think you would or should give up everything for her, as I believe this is something deep inside of you, the situation NOT the girl is driving you to pursue. I would wash my hands of it, the past can be a very tricky thing and after 9 years I cannot forsee a happy ending.

Try recalling the story of Sodom and Gammorah(sp?), never LOOK BACK!

You made the classic mistake of putting this woman on a pedestal and worshipping her - even to the point of blowing a marriage and a subsequent relationship over her. Naturally that was a big turn-off to her and no doubt perceived as extreme insecurity and neediness. You've even indicated a willingness to move across the country on her account. She definitely realizes that you will be always there for her and she can rely on you as a backup plan. That's not a good situation to let yourself be put in. You need to be in control of your own life and not let someone else control it for you.

You have only yourself to blame.

She may not be the same person now that she was 9 years ago. I think you are in love with the idea of her. I doubt that even if she were available you two could just pick up where you left off.
Don't let your obsession with this woman continue to ruin your chance for happiness with someone else, and don't let her have a revolving door to your life.