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View Full Version : How can I get him to step up in this relationship.or can I?


Fuzzbomb
Nov 23, 2007, 06:46 AM
Hi, I've been struggling for 6 years now to keep my family together. My fiancé used to
Have a really bad alcohol problem, not violent just neglagent. With his drinking I used
To fight with him all the time to stop cause he was spending too much money and it was
Not doing anyone any good. He's slowed down quite a bit but a while ago I found out that
He cheated on me at the time of his heavy drinking so I went out and cheated on him
With his friend. I know revenge isn't the answer but I don't know if it did good because if
I didn't, I would be throwing it in his face everyday that he cheated on me. I started
College in March and he works moving furniture. When we moved into our new home, I
Paid all rent up until next February with the agreement he would pay the bills. He also
Agreed that he would help me around the house since we would both be gone all day.
We are so far behind in our bills, he doesn't help me around the house and when I ask
Him to help me he makes me feel like a horrible nag. It's really taking a tole on me, I
Am stressed out to the max. I still have to be on him about the drinking but it's not as
Bad as it was before but that has taken a tole on me too and still does since I have to be
On him all the time... there it is, I'm a nag again. I'm so tired! I feel like I'm holding
Everything together by myself and I don't know what to do. Does anyone have any
Advice for me please? I'm barely hanging in here, Mind you it is a hard decision because he really is a nice guy!

donf
Nov 24, 2007, 08:01 PM
First, are you married to the guy?

If you are not, think long and hard about your next steps. You will never be able to "Fiz" his alcohol problem. The only way that will stop will be for him to stop it.

If you are married to this guy, then you have earned my, "Your vow of fidelity." speech.
So I'll wait until I get an answer on that one from you.

As to the alcohol, contact an near-by AA group and see if they can help you with an intervention. Also, never try to talk to a drunk when they are drunk. They will agree with anything in order to get you off their backs. And it's forgotten by the time they sober up any way.