Hello my name is Cody I am 16 years old and I live with my mom and little sister Caitlyn in Bucklin Kansas.My mom and dad were divorced 7 years ago we have lived with my mom always she is the only one person we have even been with in last summer my mom got a lawyer to get more child support and then my dad filed custody we went to court in Kinsley last Monday and my we lost they say we have to go live with my dad and I am scared my sister is scared she cries all the time and so do I
The judge wouldn’t let us talk and they told me I would get an attorney and I didn’t no one cared no one would hear me the only person that has ever listened to me is the mediator lady when this all started and she said we should stay with out mom and I thought that it would be all over but it wasn’t my dad has been married for about 6 months to a lady that is mean to us she treats us so bad I can't even tell you how bad it is my dad drinks allot and sometimes he drives with us in the car when he is drinking
We don’t know anyone in the town he lives in and the school is huge I am in the 10th grade and I want to finish school out here in Bucklin where I have been for 3 years now my dad has a step son that has been in jail a lot they sent him to live with other people because he is so mean he hits caitlyn my sister he has crushed up pills and snorted them in his nose he has taken pills that don’t belong to him all of this in front of me and my sister and when we tell my dad he says we are liars and that didn’t happen but it did happen and a lot more than that happens there a lot more than I can tell you in this letter
I want someone to hear me I need to talk but no one will listen can anyone help me?

well I can't reallly help you in the matter of having you stay with your mom or dad... butyou can talk to me... cause I have gone through the same things... and I'm aboutyour age so I think the same way lol... you can talk to me ifyou want to =)
ill listen I promise

Hey Cory, I am here if you want to talk aobut this a little more... Sweet heart, I am so sorry you are in this position! Hugs to you sweet stuff, I have to tell you though, if this is really what has to happen, we need to focus on what you can do to make it good rather than bad... I will be here for a bit, if you want to talk about this. I know it must be so scary to even think about leaving your mom, school, and going to a place that you know nothing about, but you can do it sweet, I know you can... Why did the court award dad custody? Why was it said you couldn't be with mom?

I don't know what happened no one would listen to me my mom isn't bad I do know that she didn't do anything she has trouble paying bills and she works a lot trying to make ends meet for us, I don't want to go I will run away I will not trun in my work at that school. Mom says she will move there with us so she can be there all the time but I worry if she does that then our chances of going back are even worse cause she is there and will be more apart of our lives but in a way I want her there for me and my sister

Cody, why would your mom moving closer to you and your dad be a bad thing? Hun, that's a good thing 'cause she would be closer to you if and when you need her. You will get to see her more too.

This is where my family is where I wanted to finish high school it's a small town the one my dad lives in is huge I'm scared of the school I have never gone to such a big school

I can understand how scary that might be. That's really got to be quite frightening. Your mom said she would move near you right? She will be there for you, she is not going to turn her back on you.

Although it may be scary, it may just be a great opportunity to meet a ton of new people, get into new programs like sports and things like that.

I know it's hard, but try to think about the positives.

I agree with J, you have to think positive, even when life gives you these tests. It sure can be hard moving to a new school, but I want to tell you, when I went to a new school in the middle of tenth grade, I remember one person and I remember her well, she is still my good friend, and that was about 15 years ago. Good things happen no matter where you are sweet. You have the choice to make this or break this. I love the fact that you want to be with your mom, and from what you have explained I think I would too! I am so happy she is willing to be by you. It might even be a great idea to start something like a writing book, some where where you can write down random things that happen or thoughts about what ever. Put it in a safe spot and take advantage of it! Be prepared honey, take this on as a challenge to come out ahead, and what ever they give you, show them you can handle it! What ever they don't give you show them you can handle it. Call your mom often. Try and love your dad while you have this time with him, give him the chance to love you too.

Hello my name is Cody I am 16 years old and I live with my mom and little sister Caitlyn in Bucklin Kansas.My mom and dad were divorced 7 years ago we have lived with my mom always she is the only one person we have even been with in last summer my mom got a lawyer to get more child support and then my dad filed custody we went to court in Kinsley last Monday and my we lost they say we have to go live with my dad and iam scared my sister is scared she cries all the time and so do I
The judge wouldn’t let us talk and they told me I would get an attorney and I didn’t no one cared no one would hear me the only person that has ever listened to me is the mediator lady when this all started and she said we should stay with out mom and I thought that it would be all over but it wasn’t my dad has been married for about 6 months to a lady that is mean to us she treats us so bad I can't even tell you how bad it is my dad drinks allot and sometimes he drives with us in the car when he is drinking
We don’t know anyone in the town he lives in and the school is huge iam in the 10th grade and I want to finish school out here in Bucklin where I have been for 3 years now my dad has a step son that has been in jail a lot they sent him to live with other people because he is so mean he hits caitlyn my sister he has crushed up pills and snorted them in his nose he has taken pills that don’t belong to him all of this in front of me and my sister and when we tell my dad he says we are liars and that didn’t happen but it did happen and a lot more than that happens there a lot more than I can tell you in this letter
I want someone to hear me I need to talk but no one will listen can anyone help me?
Well. I can help you out. The only thing I can say that you need to go to the school counselor and inform them about situation. Whatever you say to the counselor is between you and the counselor. Then get a video camera or setup a video cam in the room where your (brother) in-law. Then you can prove it to the court system and then you have to placed in an emergency family adoption. Which give you the option of calling your mom and tell the judge what going. Believe me it will work. I work with the DFACS system. I know what it like to be not herd. So I wish you well and hope you a better success and your mom will not have to worry about child support.

May I ask - how old is your sister?
At 16, normally the judge would ask you where you want to live. I don't know why they didn't.
I agree with most of the posts here. You have to try and stay positive. Make the best out of your situation.
Talk to your mom if that helps. Write to her, etc.

I can tell you running away will not solve your problems. It may actually make it worse.

My sister is 9, we had a weekend with my dad this weekend and it was great but his wife and the other kids weren't there my dad didn't yell at us like he always does I didn't get called names by his wife and my sister was happy too its sad that he can't see this, step brother wasn't there either so we felt like we had a place like a home, it has never felt that way before but when we go back and my step mom is there life will be hell again for me and my sister

If I set up a cam and it shows him doing things or the way we are treated will the judge have to look at it ?

I suppose if you had hard evidence of him mistreating you... Cody... take it easy for a second sweet! You don't want anyone getting really angry right?
Did you talk about how it was so nice to be with your dad and how he was totally different with out everyone else there?

Yes he was like my dad use to be a long time ago its never as good as being with my mom but it was a lot better but he don't see that, one time last summer I was on the phone with my mom while I was at dads and his wife was on the other line and when I got off the phone she said you need to tell your dad what you said about me , I dindt say anything about her all I said to my mom was I was ready to come home, she told my dad that I called her dirty names on the phone with my mom and I didn't I would never say the words she said to my mom, my mom would never allow me to talk that way, but my dad believed her and I got punished for it and it never happened, I told my mom when we got home and she called my dad and said those words were never said and all he said to her was well I wasn't there I don't know what was said, but because his wife told him to he punished me for something that never happened, she is mean to us she lies and my dad never listens to us when we try to tell him

And you know its strange because my dad hates her kids too he treats them like crap always yelling at them for the smallest things he is never nice to them and she is never nice to us how can a judge want us in the middle of that

I have been right there... where you are, I have had the same things happen to me. In my case I didn't have my mother to turn to. You are lucky to have a good mom. Remember when you talk to your dad, to tell him how sweet it was for you all to be together. And if you ever have a heart to heart with your step mom, add something like, I will be older someday, I will remember all of the things that happened, I will never forget the good or the bad. That one seemed to stick to the people I talked to. Because you are telling them you will be an adult some day and you will know when they were right and wrong. I am urging you to stay on the right path, make yourself stronger through the things you have to put up with...
I am urging you to be strong

I can't talk to them they don't listen my dad is always rignt no matter what he went 4 months without speaking to me and when I tried to tell him how that mad me feel he wouldn't even listen me and my dad went to a consleer bcause my mom told the courts that we needed to and I told the Man there that I was scared of my dad that he and his wwife are fake and how bad they treat us when the man asked my dad how he felt he said I think cody just said everything and wouldn't talk no more my dad thinks my mom puts this in my head well she don't he did it himself he didn't talk to me for 4months I called him one day and said I don't want to come to your haouse no more and he said that's OK your lazy I don't want you here and 4months later he called me and said I had to come see him

Are you still living with your mom now? When does the custody with your dad happen?

We are with my mom now and until the 20th of December

I am thinking about writing my dad a letter because I can't talk to him if I write the letter I don't want my mom to see it because she will tell me not to say things I don't mean but I hate him and I do mean that

YOu have to remember that you are 16, and soon will be your time to move out where ever you are. Youneed to get through these next years, by protecting your sis, and taking careof yourself. Be strong sweet heart!

I would agree with your mom. In all actuality (and I am guessing) you don't hate your dad, you hate his actions and how those actions make you feel.

Writing him a letter is a great idea. Let him know how you feel and how apprehensive you are about moving there and why.
If you can, make a copy of the letter before it is sent.

Dad,
No one will listen to me you won't talk to me and your wife is just down right mean,
I have been writing this letter for a very long time and I want you to read it now that I have put it together in words that make sense.

I don't want to live with you caitlyn don't want to live with you, you don't listen to us you don't care about us you never have you think that my mom puts this in my head well you are wrong you and Michelle have done this on your own, I don't know why you want us or she even wants her kids, you treat her kids like crap and she treats yours like crap is that how a parent is supposed to act letting someone treat there kids like crap if so I don't ever want to be a parent.

Someday I will be an adult and I will remember this someday you will be old and you will need me and caitlyn and we won't be there because of the way you allowed us to be treated
This last weekend with you was great but only because Michelle wasn't there to whine and gripe about everything she is the boss of that house of you and you let her boss everyone around me and caitlyn too.
The only thing I want you to remember is that I will be an adult and when I am it will be my mom that I am close to not you if I have to stay with you I promise that when I turn 18 I will move so far from you that I will never see you again and I bet her kids do the same thing because of the way you treat them

All you 2 care about is how you look to other people you want to look like this perfect family and you are so dysfunctional its sick and I will work as hard as I can to prove that fact just remember that every thing you do I will remember I will NEVER forget the way you have treated me and the way you have allowed your wife to treat me and my sister
You think my mom is bad because she has money issues well your wrong my mom would never allow someone to treat us badly she would never allow someone to hurt us like you do.

You know caitlyn is scared of Brice but you don't care you know he has done bad things and you don't care you know Michelle don't like us and you don't care.
Someday it will be my turn not to care and I promise that I won't you will show this letter to her I know you will because she is the boss of you she is the boss of everyone she has control and you let her have it.

If I can find a way to have my name changed and you not be in my life I am going to do everything I can to do that I will also listen write record and watch everything that goes on in your home and I will tell anyone that will listen you wanted me you got me.

I can't say these things to your face because I fear you but I can write them and someday I will send this letter and you will see how you have hurt me and what you have done to my life you have taken away what makes us happy and you are crazy if you think that we will be happy with you and that evil person you live with.

We hate it at your house we are treated like dogs just like you treat her kids you are never nice to them and you have to see this just like she has to see that she isn't nice to us so live in your little world of make believe but it will all come back to both of you I swear.

Don't talk to me about this letter because I won't talk to you but I will tell you that I am sending a copy to the school counselors and the area mental health place where we went so they know about it and everything bad that happens in your house while caitlyn and I are there will also be sent to anyone that will listen to me.

Keep this letter so you know when I am older and you are an old man you can remember why I hate you

Cody
This is my letter I have been working on it for a long time but scared to send it

Yes, cody, a letter will be wonderful. I would make it know how you feel. Especially to your dad. And you know what else, you are a smart guy, you know how you feel, you aren't a "kid" any more, you are almost to the point of being a man, that doesn't mean you don't have to follow rule, it just means that you are able to understand things much better. You are going to get through this. Stay where you have to stay and make it positive sweet!

Dad,
No one will listen to me you wont talk to me and your wife is just down right mean,
I have been writing this letter for a very long time and I want you to read it now that I have put it together in words that make sense.

I don’t want to live with you caitlyn don’t want to live with you, you don’t listen to us you don’t care about us you never have you think that my mom puts this in my head well you are wrong you and Michelle have done this on your own, I don’t know why you want us or she even wants her kids, you treat her kids like crap and she treats yours like crap is that how a parent is supposed to act letting someone treat there kids like crap if so I don’t ever want to be a parent.

Someday I will be an adult and I will remember this someday you will be old and you will need me and caitlyn and we wont be there because of the way you allowed us to be treated
This last weekend with you was great but only because Michelle wasn’t there to whine and gripe about everything she is the boss of that house of you and you let her boss everyone around me and caitlyn too.
The only thing I want you to remember is that I will be an adult and when I am it will be my mom that I am close to not you if I have to stay with you I promise that when I turn 18 I will move so far from you that I will never see you again and I bet her kids do the same thing because of the way you treat them

All you 2 care about is how you look to other people you want to look like this perfect family and you are so dysfunctional its sick and I will work as hard as I can to prove that fact just remember that every thing you do I will remember I will NEVER forget the way you have treated me and the way you have allowed your wife to treat me and my sister
You think my mom is bad because she has money issues well your wrong my mom would never allow someone to treat us badly she would never allow someone to hurt us like you do.

You know caitlyn is scared of Brice but you don’t care you know he has done bad things and you don’t care you know Michelle don’t like us and you don’t care.
Someday it will be my turn not to care and I promise that I wont you will show this letter to her I know you will because she is the boss of you she is the boss of everyone she has control and you let her have it.

If I can find a way to have my name changed and you not be in my life I am going to do everything I can to do that I will also listen write record and watch everything that goes on in your home and I will tell anyone that will listen you wanted me you got me.

I can't say these things to your face because I fear you but I can write them and someday I will send this letter and you will see how you have hurt me and what you have done to my life you have taken away what makes us happy and you are crazy if you think that we will be happy with you and that evil person you live with.

We hate it at your house we are treated like dogs just like you treat her kids you are never nice to them and you have to see this just like she has to see that she isn’t nice to us so live in your little world of make believe but it will all come back to both of you I swear.

Don’t talk to me about this letter because I wont talk to you but I will tell you that I am sending a copy to the school counselors and the area mental health place where we went so they know about it and everything bad that happens in your house while caitlyn and I are there will also be sent to anyone that will listen to me.

Keep this letter so you know when I am older and you are an old man you can remember why I hate you

Cody
this is my letter i have been working on it for a long time but scared to send it

Holy Crap Cody. You really know what you are talking about. Uhhh, Cody, I am so proud of you that you had the courage to write this letter. Although it is a sad letter to me, by how you feel about your dad, it is the truth that is in your heart. I think the best possible thing, would be to go on and give this letter to your mom as well. When do you plan on sending this? And when is the movein to your dads house date? You amaze me Cody, you have just taken me back in time, I hope I can help in any way possible to make you a happy kid... at least the time you have left to be one! Hugs to you sweet...

Dad,
I feel likeNo one will listen to me you wont talk to me and I feel like your wife is just down right mean,and she makes me feel like she doesn't like us.
I have been writing this letter for a very long time and I want you to read it now that I have put it together in words that make sense.

I don’t want to live with you caitlyn don’t want to live with you, we feel likeyou don’t listen to us, you make us feel like you don’t care about us you never have you think that my mom puts this in my head well you are wrong you and Michelle have done this on your own, I don’t know why you want us or she even wants her kids, you treat her kids like crap and she treats yours like crap is that how a parent is supposed to act letting someone treat there kids like crap if so I don’t ever want to be a parent.

Someday I will be an adult and I will remember this someday you will be old and you will need me and caitlyn and we wont be there because of the way you allowed us to be treated
This last weekend with you was great but only because Michelle wasn’t there to whine and gripe about everything she is the boss of that house of you and you let her boss everyone around me and caitlyn too.
The only thing I want you to remember is that I will be an adult and when I am it will be my mom that I am close to not you if I have to stay with you I promise that when I turn 18 I will move so far from you that I will never see you again and I bet her kids do the same thing because of the way you treat them

You make me feel like All you 2 care about is how you look to other people you want to look like this perfect family and you are so dysfunctional its sick and I will work as hard as I can to prove that fact just remember that every thing you do I will remember I will NEVER forget the way you have treated me and the way you have allowed your wife to treat me and my sister
You think my mom is bad because she has money issues well your wrong my mom would never allow someone to treat us badly she would never allow someone to hurt us like you do.

You know caitlyn is scared of Brice but you act as ifdon’t care you know he has done bad things and you don’t care you know Michelle don’t like us and you don’t care.
Someday it will be my turn not to care and I promise that I wont you will show this letter to her I know you will because she is the boss of you she is the boss of everyone she has control and you let her have it.

If I can find a way to have my name changed and you not be in my life I am going to do everything I can to do that I will also listen write record and watch everything that goes on in your home and I will tell anyone that will listen you wanted me you got me.

I can't say these things to your face because I fear you but I can write them and someday I will send this letter and you will see how you have hurt me and what you have done to my life you have taken away what makes us happy and you are crazy if you think that we will be happy with you and that evil person you live with.

We hate it at your house because we feel like we are treated like dogs just like you treat her kids you are never nice to them and you have to see this just like she has to see that she isn’t nice to us so live in your little world of make believe but it will all come back to both of you I swear.

Don’t talk to me about this letter because I wont talk to you but I will tell you that I am sending a copy to the school counselors and the area mental health place where we went so they know about it and everything bad that happens in your house while caitlyn and I are there will also be sent to anyone that will listen to me.

Keep this letter so you know when I am older and you are an old man you can remember why I hate you

Cody
this is my letter i have been working on it for a long time but scared to send it

You have a good start. I think you would rather you be heard though. With a few simple changes - I think the letter would be more effective. I put my editing in bold

You have a good start. I think you would rather you be heard though. With a few simple changes - I think the letter would be more effective. I put my editing in bold
I agree sweet, those are good changes, and if you want to add more to your letter, you should. Say everything, and make sure to be as honest as you can!

My mom didn't raise no stupid kids , she says all the time.. if you yell loud enough someone will hear you, well I am yelling I have an older sister she's 22 and has a baby they live a few blocks away and I don't want to be away from them either we are very close. When she moved out when I was 14 I grew up I knew I was the oldest at home and I had a lot to help my mom with and her and I are very close now because of that. I am scared to send this letter but I have to if I want to save me and my sister I have to I worry about showing my mom because if she knows anything about it my dad will blame her we are supposed to go live with him on the 20th of December it was supposed to be Sunday (yesterday) but my sister and I begged my mom to ask her attorney to let us stay longer so he did what ever they do to make that happen, it's the only good thing he did

Thank you for the help on the letter its funny my mom always says to use feeling words

Well, I have learned that if you come at some one with "you did this" or "You always do this or never do that" it puts them on the defensive immediately. They will not hear a word you are trying to say.
And I really think you want to be heard. So, if you are going to go out on a limb here, you should be heard. Right?

Yes I should, I don't know what he is going to think of this letter I'm sure he will find a way to blame my mom for it somehow, and that's why I don't even want her to see it

Hello my name is Cody I am 16 years old and I live with my mom and little sister Caitlyn in Bucklin Kansas.My mom and dad were divorced 7 years ago we have lived with my mom always she is the only one person we have even been with in last summer my mom got a lawyer to get more child support and then my dad filed custody we went to court in Kinsley last Monday and my we lost they say we have to go live with my dad and iam scared my sister is scared she cries all the time and so do I
The judge wouldn’t let us talk and they told me I would get an attorney and I didn’t no one cared no one would hear me the only person that has ever listened to me is the mediator lady when this all started and she said we should stay with out mom and I thought that it would be all over but it wasn’t my dad has been married for about 6 months to a lady that is mean to us she treats us so bad I can't even tell you how bad it is my dad drinks allot and sometimes he drives with us in the car when he is drinking
We don’t know anyone in the town he lives in and the school is huge iam in the 10th grade and I want to finish school out here in Bucklin where I have been for 3 years now my dad has a step son that has been in jail a lot they sent him to live with other people because he is so mean he hits caitlyn my sister he has crushed up pills and snorted them in his nose he has taken pills that don’t belong to him all of this in front of me and my sister and when we tell my dad he says we are liars and that didn’t happen but it did happen and a lot more than that happens there a lot more than I can tell you in this letter
I want someone to hear me I need to talk but no one will listen can anyone help me?
You don't want to run away that will only create more problems for you any your family. Nothing is worse than being alone, and that's exactly what you will be if you run away. Deal with the problems you are having at home the best you can find a hobby or something that will take your mind off the negativity of the whole situation.Do'nt leave that will be the biggest mistake you could ever make "THER IS NOTHING LIKE THE LOVE FROM YOUR PARENTS AND/OR FAMILY"

As far as your father and his wife goes try the best you can to block them out. Go to the counselor at school and discuss your situation with someone that will listen and guide you in the right direction. Maybe you should also mention to the counselor that your father does have a drinking problem. Try to get in touch with the mediator and discuss your whole situation with her. Also try to contact some other family members while you are at school or somewhere tell them what's going on and maybe they can try and help get you all out of that situation.