PDA

View Full Version : Getting serious and I don't know what to say


panda_girl
Nov 22, 2007, 02:23 PM
I met this lad, we got on really well and started dating. This is a big move for me as I have never been in a relationship before because I'm too scared.
I'm not fat, I'm within the healthy bmi for my height and wear size 10/12 UK size clothes. However my BIG issue is that I have stretch marks. I know I'm not alone, but I've never met anyone else who has the same problems as I do. In the past I have never committed myself to anyone because I am ashamed of them so much. But this guy he's just so nice and I really like him, the thing is he is quite sexual with the way he talks and I think once he gets into a serious relationship with someone who he can trust and is happy with he really enjoys sex. However I feel that I am just going to let him down, as how can he enjoy sex when he has to look at my marks? They disgust me, they aren't particularly red, its just in some light they are like indented and look like ruts in my skin, in other lights they are barely noticeable because they're whitey/silver, yet there are just too many all over my boobs, thighs, hips (i.e the most sexual places)
My issue that I need help with is over coming this fear, as whenever he makes a sexual comment I tend to ignore it, because I freak out, not because I don't like it, because I'm worried that the sooner I encourage him the sooner he will see me naked and I just fear that I am really going to dissapoint him and let him down so much. Its also he asks me what my insecurities are yet I want to tell him this issue of mine face to face so he can see how much it effects me, but I wouldn't know where to begin with telling him.
I just feel guilty, that I've impressed him so far and that he really seems to like me, he said I'm perfect on the inside as well as outside, yet he hasn't seen me yet and when he does I think ill just let him down and the upset that that will cause is unbareable to think about... please help me because I'm petrified I really want it to work, yet I don't know how to break it to him and I'm scared it will effect us as no one wants to look at stretch marks, I feel like I'm really letting him down! :(

ChihuahuaMomma
Nov 22, 2007, 03:07 PM
BE HONEST. Honesty is the best thing in a relationship. Sit him down and say, "Honey, I really care for you. There is something that I want to share with you. I have stretch marks, they make me feel insecure sometimes and I want you to know that they are part of me. So if you love me, love my marks." And that's the way they should be veiwee. They are part of you, love yourself. Stretch marks are natural. I have them, MANY people have them. I have stretchies on my boobs and my thighs. Good luck!

PunkChic
Nov 22, 2007, 03:45 PM
I have stretch marks on my thighs, boobs and butt. Lol. My boyfriend does not mind it all. And it's not really so bad. Most people don't even notice it (unless you work for the paprazzi, you know what they're like, looking at everyone's flaws). It may seem awful to you, but others won't notice it. It's true. I have uneven skin tone on my face, it looks really bad to me! But no one has ever really noticed it.

But if you want to help reduce your stretch marks, try using Vitamin E oil or cocoa butter. This will help soften the marks making it less noticeable.

panda_girl
Nov 22, 2007, 04:25 PM
Thanks so much for your help guys, has really helped me. Its weird because I know many girls have them, he may even have had a girlfriend with them in the past, because I read so much about them and girls having them, yet I still feel as though I'm one to myself and that he may never have been in that situation before. I just don't like the idea of letting him down, yet I know if he does turn me down because of it, he is not worth it. Yet then I have to live with seeing him and the humiliation! I'm worried to tell him as I'm scared ill burst out crying as that is how much these marks really effect me, they make me feel dirty and not good enough for him.

ChihuahuaMomma
Nov 22, 2007, 04:28 PM
If he's with you then you're good enough for him. Don't ever let anyone tell you that you are not good enough for anyone or anything. They are just jealous of something that you have or who you are. I'm sure you are very beautiful. And so are your marks. These imperfections are the things that make us the beautiful beings that we are. And you are right, if something as small as stretchies scares him off then he was not worth your time. You sound like a great girl. Good luck to you.