View Full Version : Really hard situation.
Love50818
Nov 27, 2005, 08:05 PM
My ex boyfriend and I have been broken up for a while. His name is Jack. Jack and I did not speak for a while, then he began to contact me with the hi, how are you stuff. Nothing really important. At first, I ignored all attempts but I slowly responded. We became good friends, and we have been seeing each other lately. I spend one night at his house, and another night we went out with friends, nothing sexual. He came to my town this weekend, and we spent three nights together, kissing, and he slept at my house one night. He said they he loved me, but I am not sure what he wants, can anyone help me out?
Wildcat21
Nov 27, 2005, 08:59 PM
The key is do you have feelings for him?? Or are you leading him on because you're lonely??
It's WAY too early for him to throw out I love you's as well. Yuck.
Who broke with who?? Pretty important - AND WHY did you break.
JoeCanada76
Nov 27, 2005, 09:35 PM
What do you in your own heart and mind thinks he wants? You know best, you have your own answer. Obvously you are questioning his motives of what he wants.
Joe
fredg
Nov 28, 2005, 06:24 AM
Hi,
He wants sex, but is being very slow about it. That's my guess.
If you don't believe him when he said he loves you, then I would break off this relationship for awhile. Meet others. Talking with others can help get your mind off him, for a little while anyway.
If you are not sure of him, then stop seeing him. He could just want to be a friend.
nymphetamine
Nov 28, 2005, 06:33 AM
Listen to what your sixth sense is telling you. You know that bad or good feeling you get? If you have any guys friends and they are all warning you that this guy is bad news. LISTEN TO THEM. Men know what to look out for when it comes to another guy. Don't ask your female friends cause they really don't know anybetter.
lilfyre
Nov 28, 2005, 07:35 AM
The best way to solve this problem is ask him what his intention really are. Then decide if you think he is telling the truth.Every one here has given you excellent advise, now just ask,
My ex boyfriend and I have been broken up for a while. His name is Jack. Jack and I did not speak for a while, then he began to contact me with the hi, how are you stuff. Nothing really important. At first, I ignored all attempts but i slowly responded. We became good friends, and we have been seeing each other lately. I spend one night at his house, and another night we went out with friends, nothing sexual. He came to my town this weekend, and we spent three nights together, kissing, and he slept at my house one night. He said they he loved me, but I am not sure what he wants, can anyone help me out?
What do you in your own heart and mind thinks he wants? You know best, you have your own answer. Obvously you are questioning his motives of what he wants.
Joe
Hi,
He wants sex, but is being very slow about it. That's my guess.
If you don't believe him when he said he loves you, then I would break off this relationship for awhile. Meet others. Talking with others can help get your mind off him, for a little while anyway.
If you are not sure of him, then stop seeing him. He could just want to be a friend.
Listen to what your sixth sense is telling you. You know that bad or good feeling you get? If you have any guys friends and they are all warning you that this guy is bad news. LISTEN TO THEM. Men know what to look out for when it comes to another guy. Dont ask your female friends cause they really dont know anybetter.
DJ 'H'
Nov 28, 2005, 07:41 AM
It's very strange for an ex to do that out of the blue and if I was in your position I would be asking "What do you want" - sounds to me like he can't get any anywhere else so he has decided to see if you still have feelings for him so that he can abuse them to his own advantage.
The fact that you have doubts about him suggest you already know the answer to this one deep down.
Follow your own instincts - they are never wrong!
s_cianci
Nov 28, 2005, 06:35 PM
I think that you have to decide what you want in this situation, then let him know. Are you loking for a lasting, committed relationship with him or are you satisfied with just seeing him casually? He says that he "loves you." That's a pretty strong statement, especially if he doesn't mean it. I think that you need to lay your cards on the table, so to speak and insist on all or nothing. If he is ready to take this to the next level then great. If not, then you need to forget this one and move on. Good luck!
Love50818
Nov 28, 2005, 07:14 PM
He broke up with me.
nymphetamine
Nov 28, 2005, 07:21 PM
He broke up with you and now he wants some bedroom activity. Typical.
Wildcat21
Nov 28, 2005, 08:05 PM
Yes. Be careful her. BALLS IN YOUR COURT. Take this slow.
See if he is in it for the long haul. Play a little hard to get. If you do that you will see what his true intentions are.
Don't rush to sleep with him what ever you do - you will have your answers then.
Hey, maybe he made a BIG mistake leaving you. People break for a lot of reasons - maybe he is ready now.
DJ 'H'
Nov 29, 2005, 03:58 AM
Love50818 - How are you doing? Have not heard from you and wondered if you are OK? If you need any more support we are all here for you - we all know and understand how tough things can be.
Drop us a line and let us know how your doing?
DJ 'H'
Nov 29, 2005, 06:52 AM
I don't understand that breed of men. They break up with you then come back expecting you to jump at the click of their fingers.
I am quite lucky - the majority of my friends are guys - I always listen to them - because they are always right! They see things for what they are - and what you have to remember is they are on the outside looking in. Whereas you are on the inside and can't see what's going on.
Love50818
Dec 1, 2005, 05:20 PM
He has been talking to me, and making suggestions of "being together intimatly" I told him that was fun and stuff but I could not spend all my time with my ex boyfriend I need to find someone who really loves me. And not just using me for sex. Then he got really mean and told me he was sorry if he hurt my feelings when he saw me but he doent want to confuse aything and he wants to make it clear he doesn't want to be with me. I actually am interested in another guy I told him it was OK, and I am looking to date too and not to worry about feeling bad. He told me he was glad for me. But in a spiteful way. I don't get it, he was into me,until I told him I wouldn't be his sex friend then he was mean?
nymphetamine
Dec 1, 2005, 05:27 PM
He was angry because you weren't going to have sex with him. For some dumb reason he thought you were going to be an easy target and when he was proven wrong it really ticked him off. Good for you!
DJ 'H'
Dec 2, 2005, 04:34 AM
It's because you are a very intelligent girl. You are not nieve in the slightest. His motives were found out and his male pride hurt.
Don't worry about his feelings or the fact that he got angry.
He is an arsehole and had a real cheek to even ask that of you. He will get over it.
Don't have "Fun" with this guy, it really is not worth it! You have made the right decision to find someone that truly cares for you and you were very brave to tell him that. Well done. - Now the best thing to do and the even braver thng is to Walk away.
talaniman
Dec 2, 2005, 07:13 PM
If there is no respect there is NO relationship-are there other guys around to have fun with?You don't need this heartache.The best thing that he did for you is break-up with you,so keep it that way.. :cool: