hi,
my best mate at school keeps on talking and hanging round with other girls.when I asked her about it she said they were just her friends but I was still being moody with her.now she thinks that I said I don't want her to communicate with any of them, I didn't mean that but she has told her helper that she wants to have enough courage to say sha=e wants to talk to them and no she won't stop for my sake.I haven't even asked her to in the first place.how do I explain this to her WITHOUT her finding out I know she told her helper about me as that would annoy her more?! :confused: :confused: :( :(

Are you jealous of your friend hanging around and talking to the other girls?

You should tell your boyfriend that you feel you arn`t spending engoght time to gether and you just want to hang more and not feel ignored. I she really is your friend shell understand

But she doesn't think I no how she feels

but she dosent think i no how she feels

How do you think that she feels?

She feels like I am trying to make her stop talking them but I'm not.wat shall I do!!

Are these other girls your friends at all?

Yes they are but they sort of like her more than they like me.wat do I do!

What have you already said to your friend to make her think that you don't want her to see the other girls?

I said that she always hung around with them and she was lying when she said they wernt her proper friend.aswell as that one of them invited her to a sleepover she told me she wasn't going but told the gril she was.

How old are you, please? Knowing that will help us to help you more.

Also, what do you mean by "helper" in the first things that you wrote at the top of this page?

I am in year8 and by helper I mean a sort of mentor mainl because her mum died when she was 8 so oce every week she goes and talks t the women about stuff

i am in year8 and by helper i mean a sort of mentor mainl because her mum died wen she was 8 so oce every week she goes and talks t the women about stuff

Okay, I see. Thank you!

So, you have already told your friend that she was lying?

Yes I told her I knew she was lying and at the same time I also said the stuff about her always being with them.I don't know why but she thinks I said something completely different.if I tell her how I no she told her helper it will make her even more angry and I don't want that.also one of the girls has found out what I said!

Do you know how to apologize to people? It's okay to do that, you know. Before things get much deeper with the problem, it would probably be best that you apologized for accusing her of lying.

But she did lye! All I want her to no is that I don't want her to stop talking to them but for her to talk to me a bit more!

Okay, sorry!

How about saying something to her like, "I know that we both have friends and that sometimes because of that, we don't get to see each other all that much. I really like you as a friend and hope that we can spend more time together than we already have. Would you help me with that?"

Or, something along those lines. Possible? :)

OK I will try that but how do I no when to say it I can't just blurt it out

In answer to your private message. Yes, I am still answering your questions.

ok i will try that but how do i no when to say it i can't just blurt it out

You are still speaking with each other on a regular basis, correct? Or, is there a problem even doing that?

OK but what about what I just said

Yes we are still talking every day

In person? Are the conversations going okay? Or, is there some kind of friction that is felt between the two of you?

Its OK but we are both thinking about in our heads

its ok but we are both thinking about in our heads

I know exactly what you mean and what that feels like. Time to get rid of this little thorn of the past and move on with the good possibilities for the future. You can turn these "scars into stars." It's all about choices that you make about the way that you think, say and especially about what you do.

So I have to get her in private and say what you said to her.

Thanks then I will try it and see if we can sort it out

The key to speaking to her about the problem of seeing and doing things with her more, is to make her think that you are the one who is having the problem. You start by saying something like "I've got this problem and you are the one who could help me with it." "Would you?" "I would really appreciate it if you would!" If she says "Yes," then you just say the things like we talked about before.
"I know that we both have friends and that sometimes because of that, we don't get to see each other all that much. I really like you as a friend and hope that we can spend more time together than we already have."

That's called winning without intimidation. You make her feel important, because she can be part of the solution to solving your problem.

so i have to get her in private and say wat u sed to her.

Yes, in private and in person would be best! No electronic communicating, it can be so unfeeling and unreal.

thanks then i will try it and see if we can sort it out

You are welcome! Things should work out, especially if she really cares and wants to be friends. I can remember being your age and getting into so many arguments with certain friends. We always made up, though.

I would appreciate it if you would let me know how things work out. Okay?

If you post on this thread in the future, I will automatically know that you have posted.

I do hope for the best for you and your friend and friends! :)