Omggg... I'm such a mess, I don't no what to do.

Well I alredy wrote about the situation before. If you don't no it, here it is:

[okay so I have been on the site for months now and it does help me and thank you.
So my situation now is that I broke up with my boyfriend last night unexpectedly. Weird to say but yea. I was planning on doing it soon but not last night. The reason for my break up is because I need a break from him. We been going out for a year and a half. He makes me feel pressured in being with him forever. He is set, he knows he wants to be with me and marry me. The thing is that everyday he always asks me questions like, are you going to be with me forever, how much do you love me, are you getting sick of me, are you going to have my kids, I know when I'm going to propose... questions like these drive me crazy because I'm too young to think about these things. Im only 19 years old and I'm a sophomore in college. I do love him and care about him but I have to realize it for myself that I really want to be with him the rest of my life and that he is the one. I do miss him, but I think that's because I'm so used to seeing him everyday. I don't know if its true love or if I'm in love, but I guess I'll realize it right? Is it wrong if I go out and meet new guys and get to know them? Do you think this is a big mistake because I don't want to loose him. Another reason I think is because he is my first serios boyfriend so I feel like I think I'm in love with him. You know? We broke up alredy about 4 times and they were all because of me. But this one is serious because I have to do this for myself. We left it in good terms. He said that in order for me to talk to him or see him I have to call him. The mistake he did before was that every time I broke up with him, he kept chasing me and calling me and seeing me and that made it hard for me and that's why I went back out with him again. He also said that he's confident that we're going to be together again and that's why he's good right know. (I talked to him before) but he said that if I'm doing this for the bad reasons which is doing things he doesn't like, like hooking up with a lot of guys and he finds out then he won't get back with me. But in order for me to realize that he is the one I have to get to know and meet other guys. I think this is a break up, but he thinks it's a break. He respects my decision of doing this because I do need space, he said. So this happened last night because the topic came into the conversation and he knew something was bothering me so I just told him how I honestly felt and that's how it happened. It wasn't fair for him because he thinks that I do want to be with him forever because I always tell him what he wants to hear and not how I honestly felt. And I can't keep doing this to him, breaking up with him. So I think this is good for both of us, I think it'll actually make us stronger if we get back together. So did I make the right decision? Should I still see him once in a while and talk to him? Is it wrong if I meet other guys and hook-up? What should I do now? Please help me. Thank You for your time.]

OKay so I haven't seen him for four days but I couldn't help myselff... I wanted to see him and I had nothing else to do last night so I text msged him and we ended up seeing each other. Wow it was so weird in the beginning. Then out of nowhere he gave me a huge hug and we kissed. I missed him so much that I felt like it was right me being there with him. We were talking for about 2 hours, him trying to convince me to get back with him. Well actually helping me because he said I'm confused. I do want to be with him, I want to get back together with him, but if I do I don't want to keep doing this to him. That's why I don't want to get back with him.

I need advice and I'm going to base my decision on advice because I will admit I'm not very good in making decisions, I need help every time and I'm a very confused and doubtful person. Sad, but true. Anyway so what do you think I should do. Should I get back with him or just not and learn to live by myself first like someone said in their answers.

I mean I could get back together with him and we can make adjustments in our relationship, he even said that last night. Or should I forget about him and move on and maybe later on we could work it out. I am miserable without him, I feel like I'm missing my other half. But a part of me feels like I should move on. Or maybe that's what I want to think. You see what I mean... I am very confused. I can't make decisions on my own. Omg this is driving me insane. I kind of regret seeing him last night, because now I'm such a mess.

I want to get back with him but I feel like I'm going to regret it because I will wind up breaking up with him again, you know? But if I don't get back with him I feel like I'm forcing myself to not to and I will wind up losing him in the end. What should I do seriously??

PLEASE HELP ME.

You said it very well. Now remove the last 2 sentences from your post and read it out loud to yourself a few times.

Good job and good luck.

Ps Very true when you said "I want to get back with him but I feel I'm going to regret it"... < that's the answer and yes you would regret it.

You are 19 in college don't have this guy pressuring you to stay with him it's not fair to you. Trust me him "helping you" cause you are confused is just his way of manipulating you to stay with him. Of course when you first break up you are always going to want to see him but don't, it will help you get over him faster. But if a month or two goes by and you can't get him out of your head then maybe give it another shot. But you have to show him you are serious about not being with him when he talks all the long term stuff. Good Luck!!

He has made a command decision that he wants to be with you. That obviously scares you that he's confident in his love for you. So you start questioning it... "Am I in love with him?" Honey, "In Love" comes and goes... people can't be "In love" 24/7. Don't over-analyze it! Either you love him or you don't. Either you want to be with him or you don't. I think you're just scared to commit. I'm not saying what you should or shouldn't do. But the grass isn't always greener. Sometimes it is, but that is a risk you will have to take and learn to live with. Because if you come back from your fun time with all sorts of men, chances are you honey won't be waiting for you.