It`s not something that I am pround of, since iwas old anoughf to I have been loking at porn and masterbating. At first It was once in a blue moon but slowly I did it more and more. Its has gotten to the point were they are they only things I think about. I have some idea why started it, one reasone could be I`m not the gratest looking dude out there and people rube it in my face, I`ve never had sex and ladies don`t want anything to do with me. Was easy enoghf to start but know I need to quit but every time I try I faile. Its like I want to and don`t want to quit at the same time. One of the worets things about it is it feels good at firsts but then I feel guilty and empty inside. Plus I have this feeling of loneliness every I go. Can anyone give me ideas how to stope before I take it to far.

I think that looking at porn and masterbating is completely normal. I would just cut back. I'm sorry to hear that you think that the ladies don't like you. You just have not found the right one yet. It'll happen. I believe in soul mates. Hope you do. Have a great night.

I don't think your problem is as much the porn and masturbating as it is yourself esteem. I don't think those who rub it in your face that you are ugly could do it if you didn't think it was true yourself. I hope these people are not friends of yours, if they are you need to find new friends. I think we all can say that we have met people who we thought was just beautiful on the out side then found when we got to know them were so ugly on the inside that we wanted no part of them. I am sure you are probably a beautiful person on the inside and you should draw those things to the surface for people to see, and most importantly so you can see them. I know that sounds much easier than it is but you have a life to live and deserve to be happy and have someone who will see you for who you are.

Ok, first you can stop any adiction, just stop.

Next part of your problem is your own opinion of yourself. Go to my web site listed below and take a look at me, A real hunk huh? Well maybe not a chick magnet but guess what, when I lost my first wife, I had ladies actually calling me up. Even dated one lady 20 years younger and ended up getting remarried to lady 10 years younger who had been a college cheer leader. Looks have less to do with it than you think. Maybe at 16 it may be image. But you get your hair styled, you get proper clothes and learn how to property talk and treak others.

You find someone who likes you for you. Also it is pure numbers also, how many ladies are you asking out a week, if you ask several you will find a date.

First off, you can't just cure an addiction by just stopping!

Can a person stop cancer or diabetes by just stopping?

An addiction, by those of us who have been there, obviously not the previous poster, is a disease. No different than cancer, and just as life threatening.Just because one cannot see an addiction doesn't mean it isn't there.( can you see cancer? Or diabetes?)

This is more to where MY EXPERTISE is on line, not all encompassing rhetoric.

To stop the cycle of masturbation and feeling down during and afterwords, I do agree with stopping. Abstinence from those things we do which remove us from living life on life's terms is detrimental for our self esteem, and social behaviors as a whole.

Who is the worst judge of your looks? You? Probably, that's the self-esteem issue.

Think of this when you start to get in to the looks idea,"I am not all that bad,I am OK in my shoes,SO,They can't see what I see yet, Eventually they will, I am OK with me"

It is called a mantra, pick the words you want to repeat to yourself every day,condition your mind into healthy positive reinforcement,you'll be very surprised as to how this works,I know I had to do this as a teen also.

The very nature of masturbation is the reaching a climax and the calming down afterwords,the bodies way of relaxing after an emotional and physical workout, chemicals are released and we feel(some more than others) remorse,it also is the self esteem issue you feel,pressuring you to do something that you are not really ready to do,your looking for sex to cut a notch in the bedpost,so to speak,that will come in time,let it happen in gods time, not yours, this is called acceptance.

Where is your father, or mother in your life? Are they far from you,emotionally?Mine were at 16,so that probably answers my question, but also lets you know MOST of us have been in your shoes, Some of us are still close to the memories of growth,and self awareness,compassionate to the feelings your going through and are willing to help.

Let us know if any of this helps,

Ken

Hello Jig:

Whacking off is fine. I prefer to call it practice, though. I practice all the time. Got to be ready.

Some of the ugliest guys I know, scored the best looking chicks. If you can make 'em laugh, you can get 'em in the sack.

excon

PS> Hell, if you can TALK to 'em, you can get 'em in the sack.

To add to Excon's good idea.. make them feel needed.
I worked many years with a man that was not so hot.He knew and it admitted it.. but the women loved him... many, many women loved him.go figure

You are on the right track of not being proud of your masturbation addiction. You are training yourself for instant gratification without the worry of courting a real woman in a real relationship. More serious is when you do find someone to marry, you will most certainly have a problem interacting sexually with her because of your past sexual experiences. Real woman are not the woman of porn. There are many resources to deal with sexual integrity. A good book is called, "Every Man's Battle."

Jigicou-

I think that the first thing you can do, is stop beating yourself up every time you masturbate. It is something that the majority of people on this planet do, and very much a part of your life. By feeling bad about doing it, you have trapped yourself in a vicious circle. When you feel bad about that, it lowers your opinion of yourself even more, this in turn brings down your overall happiness, and makes want to spend less time around other people/women. This makes you feel lonely and turn to masturbation, and the whole thing starts over again. Come to terms with the fact that masturbation is something you do, and I think things will look up for you.

As with any addiction, the worst thing you can do, is isolate yourself, and have no outlet, for social reasons, or just to have a life. That's where I start, getting a life that makes you happy. To stop masturbating, you need something to replace that behavior with, like bowling, reading, hunting, fishing, surfing the net. Almost anything.

Being addicted to masturbation is like being bulimic. You can't really leave it alone. We have to eat. Guys have to release a few ounces of semen every so often.

Can you learn to masturbate without porn? Change things around and see how you feel. Sexual climax releases the hormone, oxytocin. This hormone causes relaxation. Feeling shame or guilt after masturbating is an issue in the mind, not the sex.

Shame is different than guilt. Guilt is what you may choose to feel about something you did. Shame is something you may choose to feel about something you are, or are not. Feeling either is normal, but not natural. You probably have nothing to feel either guilt or shame about.

Always ask yourself: Did I hurt myself?
Did I hurt anyone else?
Did I break anything?

If the answer is no to all three, the habit you need to break is one of guilt. You are not guilty if you did not do any of the three things listed above.

Just got to stop man. I have the same problem, but you have to go cold turkey and have a strong will for a week. The next weeks get easier and easier and easier.