I have a huge problem! I have a bad habit of gossiping. I do this a lot, but mostly at work. I talk bad about other people, I talk about other people to other people, and I believe that I am the reason for all the drama in the workplace. I cannot seem to control my mouth. I create drama that isn't there, which I believe is for the attention. I don't know, but I am afraid that I will loose any friends I have because of my mouth and my jealousy, or at worse, loose my job. How do I control my gossiping? How do I stop creating unnessacry drama? HELP!!

Wow, that's a difficult question...

I would suggest finding out about what your co-workers are into, what their interests are. And discussing that, and making constructive conversation... Or watch the news and discuss current issues (avoid controversial issues)!

Hope that I helped..

ChihuahuaMomma has made some very good suggestions. I trained to be a supervisor and that was one of the things we were taught, learn something about the people you work with and ask them about it. If they have a pet find out it's name and when saying good morning ask them how their pet is. That's just for a start. It might take a bit of work on your part to begin with but then you will discover that you become genuinely interested in other people.

Getting to know your co-workers on a personal level will make you want to tlak to them not talk ABOUT other people.

Picture yourself being the one that what you want to say is said about.
Like if you want to say that new hairstyle of Margie's wasn't worth the money,
Think about if that was being said about you and how you would feel if and when it got back to you.
Also realize that what you say could be all over the work place and just as you don't want your gossip getting back to the one you said it about ---it JUST might not have gotten back to you that they D0 know what you said about them.
It is a dangerous gamble to say the wrong things
With gossiping you always have to wonder WHO knows WHAT you said.

Well, one good thing is admitting that you have a problem... and admitting that you ARE a problem... BUT, as we all know it takes TWO to gossip, and I believe we are all guilty of doing this- some worse than others.

I really don't know what will make you stop, other than when the tables get turned on you. I believe in good'ole karma... and what goes around, will always eventually make it back around! Lol!

I guess I would just try to consciously choose who it is you talk to and what it is you talk about. Avoid subjects that are malicious and sentences that begin with "did you hear about (person)" It will be hard but if you really try... eventually it will be habit to NOT talk about PEOPLE... talk about things you enjoy- hobbies, sports, travel, vacations, sales, shopping gosh there's just a million things besides your co-workers! Good luck!

The best way, in my opinion, is to arm yourself with all kinds of substitute conversations, behaviours, thoughts, etc. Then, do some self-talk before you go to work. If you catch yourself gossiping, identify it and stop immediately. Apologize. "Gee, this is terrible, gossiping like this. I'm not happy talking about other people this way. Let's talk about something else." You will gain a lot of repect that way.

Also, remember - good communication is a two way street. Spend more time listening. I have noticed that a lot of people who gossip a lot are trying to 'fit in' and may suffer self-esteem issues. Find some activities outside of work to help build your self-esteem. It will help you two-fold, as you will also have something else to talk about to others.

If it is a real severe problem you might want to try hypnosis or a couple of therapy sessions with a therapist familiar with behavior modification techniques.

It is a positive thing that you realize this and are wanting to change. Don't forget to reward yourself for NOT gossiping! Good luck!

Hugs, Didi

Gossip is a bad habit because there is the chance of losing a friend or a job because it may come back around and end up right at your feet again. What I try to do is if you want to say something but you know you shouldn't, change the subject. Or if someone is talking about someone to you, just nod or change the subject or kind of just make it go in one ear and out the other, if they want some comfort because of someone and there saying all this stuff. Comfort them but don't say anything to make it worse or anything like so. And definitely don't gossip to someone that you can't trust because if something happens or just nothing happens they could go and tell that person. If it comes to where you want to say something try to avoid it and change the subject. If gossip accedentily slips out try to turn it around.

DogLover62