mase87
Nov 16, 2007, 05:59 PM
Hi everyone, I've enever really posted on websites before but I've been doing a lot of thinking and I have way too much time on my hands at work so here goes...
Me and my girlfriend have been dating for just under 2 years and it has been the most fullfilling and loving relationship I have ever had, I can probably count on my fingers all the nights we have slept in separate beds. We fight and bicker, yea so does everyone else but never have either of us uttered the words "break" or "break-up" ever because we both never wanted it. I don't want to toot my own horn but I strive myself on being a really great guy and I really think I am, I'm sure I have my faults but who doesn't. I have listened to too many girls complain about guys so I try my hardest to not make the mistakes I hear other guys make. So that's just a little back story before I get to the problem. I have been reading a lot of posts and I feel like my situation is similar but I finally figured id ask myself. Like I said it was great for almost two years and in my mind there was absolutely nothing wrong, I got no signals no hints that I had anything to worry about and then all of the sudden out of the blue when she calls me while she's at work to ask about something else she all the sudden asks if there is something wrong with us. I am like WOAH! Did not see that coming and she starts to get upset and says she didn't want to have the conversation then but she started it and as I'm asking why do you feel that way all I get is I don't know I don't know. And don't think I'm some psyco who started screaming at her and saying you must be cheating, no I am a very rational person and try to talk about it calmy but she starts crying saying she's confused and asking why I'm not sounding upset and its because I was still in such shock that this was even happening and I told her all of this. So she has to go back to work and I'm going crazy at this point because she's saying we need a break cause we are drifting. Now to me that kind of seems like a step backwards don't you think? If we say too much of each other that means break but if your drifting apart you need to sit down and talk about but she wanted to skip all that and just go on a break. See now I strongly believe that all problems big and small need to be addressed and talked over because just burying or ignoring things only makes them worse when they happen again. Well anyway I saw OK lets try that if its what you really want I tell her whatever she needs just let me know and keep me informed if she needs too. So we go on our break and me wanting to kind of have her lean in the right direction I raced out and grabbed some flowers and a vase and took it to her house and cut them and put them in her room with a not that say no matter what you know I love you and tha will never change no matter what, ill see you around. And I left it at that I didn't want to smother her or cloud her thinking but I wanted to show her I wasn't mad at her and I still loved her, good right? Well a lot of horrible sh** happened later that night which is a completely diff. story, lets just say in was in the wrong place at the wrong time and it was the first time I've ever had a gun in my face, and been in handcuffs. So that whole ordeal ends around 1 am and I'm out of my mind and just couldn't help seeing her so I called and if she didn't pick up on one try I wasn't going to bother but she actually did and I asked if it was OK to come over and she said yes so I went over a told her all about it and she said aside from us are u OK so I was happy she still could put that aside and care for me but when we got back to us, all I got was I don't know I don't know still which is much worse because I would rather know what's going on and deal with the worst if that is what the case may be rather than be in the dark and deal with the pain. So after getting nowhere I said I was sorry for bothering her and I was going to sleep at my house and she pulled the iddint tell you to do that so I replied you didn't tell me not to trying to be tuff but not an a-hole.so she goes out and does her thing the next day and I do mine and of course my like I end up seeing here and my friend at a gas station and I had to pull in to make sure he was OK after what happened the night before I had no intentions of approaching her. So when I talk to him he tells me she's been talking all about me and how she is so stupid and made a mistake and wants to make it better but I was not told this I had to hear it from my boy but it did make me feel better. So she finally says I want to see you later ill come over in an hour so I say OK. So after awkwardness all night and her little feeble attempts to be nice and make up for it late late that night she says she's sorry and stupid and wants us to forget about it. How can I forget about it when I didn't even know why in the first place you know? So I ask why the mind change she can tell me the truth blah blah and she says we been together so long and she just started thinking about it, so I'm thinking if you just started thinking about it and went straight to a break after never even thinking about a break before, there must be something else she's not telling me but I let it go because I'm just happy that things are better and I figure well talk about it later. Well later never came 2 days later she blew me off for 10 hrs, that's 10 hrs people she has never done anything like that to me before and neither have I ever, so I'm thinking there must be something seriously messed up here but I have to keep my cool because the last thing I want to do is become some psyco boyfriend. Finally after 10 hrs of phone tag and shallow promises of only 45 min and ill be over she calls me and says hey come to a party. So I get there and she's getting into a bathing suit and hops into a jacuzzi and has already thrown a few back. And I walk in thinking after all I was put through today your just going to party and not at least talk to me. So I brush it off and just play it cool all night and she keeps getting the audacity to say "hey whats wrong?" and obviously she knows but does nothing to fix it so long story short (no pun intended for those of you who actually got this far, bless your heart) I say whatever and leave and go to bed. The next day I say she needs to come talk to me because she decided to spend the night at this hotel with all my friends and a few people I don't know, I'm obviously not happy about that, and yet she refuses to talk to me so I say all right I've had enough of being in the dark if you don't want to talk you don't want this relationship so she finally comes to talk and we go on and onand she finally decides she wants to be back with me full time no hard feelings and I agree because I love her more than anything. So there is the whole back story and now its like every other day she is a total b**** to me and on the others she is absolutely in love with me so I'm going crazy because its like she only loves me when she wants to. Bottom line I'm going crazy with stress because of my whole personal life and she sees it but does nothing about it and that's what makes it worse. So I've gotten to the point where I think she still has mixed feelings but doesn't want to talk.
First of all you are the greatest listener ever if you actually read that novel but if anyone has any input let me know but just writing the whole thing down made me feel much much better than just saying it so even if no one actually makes it through my babbling just venting on here was an amzing help. Well maybe ill hear from somebody.
Bye
Me and my girlfriend have been dating for just under 2 years and it has been the most fullfilling and loving relationship I have ever had, I can probably count on my fingers all the nights we have slept in separate beds. We fight and bicker, yea so does everyone else but never have either of us uttered the words "break" or "break-up" ever because we both never wanted it. I don't want to toot my own horn but I strive myself on being a really great guy and I really think I am, I'm sure I have my faults but who doesn't. I have listened to too many girls complain about guys so I try my hardest to not make the mistakes I hear other guys make. So that's just a little back story before I get to the problem. I have been reading a lot of posts and I feel like my situation is similar but I finally figured id ask myself. Like I said it was great for almost two years and in my mind there was absolutely nothing wrong, I got no signals no hints that I had anything to worry about and then all of the sudden out of the blue when she calls me while she's at work to ask about something else she all the sudden asks if there is something wrong with us. I am like WOAH! Did not see that coming and she starts to get upset and says she didn't want to have the conversation then but she started it and as I'm asking why do you feel that way all I get is I don't know I don't know. And don't think I'm some psyco who started screaming at her and saying you must be cheating, no I am a very rational person and try to talk about it calmy but she starts crying saying she's confused and asking why I'm not sounding upset and its because I was still in such shock that this was even happening and I told her all of this. So she has to go back to work and I'm going crazy at this point because she's saying we need a break cause we are drifting. Now to me that kind of seems like a step backwards don't you think? If we say too much of each other that means break but if your drifting apart you need to sit down and talk about but she wanted to skip all that and just go on a break. See now I strongly believe that all problems big and small need to be addressed and talked over because just burying or ignoring things only makes them worse when they happen again. Well anyway I saw OK lets try that if its what you really want I tell her whatever she needs just let me know and keep me informed if she needs too. So we go on our break and me wanting to kind of have her lean in the right direction I raced out and grabbed some flowers and a vase and took it to her house and cut them and put them in her room with a not that say no matter what you know I love you and tha will never change no matter what, ill see you around. And I left it at that I didn't want to smother her or cloud her thinking but I wanted to show her I wasn't mad at her and I still loved her, good right? Well a lot of horrible sh** happened later that night which is a completely diff. story, lets just say in was in the wrong place at the wrong time and it was the first time I've ever had a gun in my face, and been in handcuffs. So that whole ordeal ends around 1 am and I'm out of my mind and just couldn't help seeing her so I called and if she didn't pick up on one try I wasn't going to bother but she actually did and I asked if it was OK to come over and she said yes so I went over a told her all about it and she said aside from us are u OK so I was happy she still could put that aside and care for me but when we got back to us, all I got was I don't know I don't know still which is much worse because I would rather know what's going on and deal with the worst if that is what the case may be rather than be in the dark and deal with the pain. So after getting nowhere I said I was sorry for bothering her and I was going to sleep at my house and she pulled the iddint tell you to do that so I replied you didn't tell me not to trying to be tuff but not an a-hole.so she goes out and does her thing the next day and I do mine and of course my like I end up seeing here and my friend at a gas station and I had to pull in to make sure he was OK after what happened the night before I had no intentions of approaching her. So when I talk to him he tells me she's been talking all about me and how she is so stupid and made a mistake and wants to make it better but I was not told this I had to hear it from my boy but it did make me feel better. So she finally says I want to see you later ill come over in an hour so I say OK. So after awkwardness all night and her little feeble attempts to be nice and make up for it late late that night she says she's sorry and stupid and wants us to forget about it. How can I forget about it when I didn't even know why in the first place you know? So I ask why the mind change she can tell me the truth blah blah and she says we been together so long and she just started thinking about it, so I'm thinking if you just started thinking about it and went straight to a break after never even thinking about a break before, there must be something else she's not telling me but I let it go because I'm just happy that things are better and I figure well talk about it later. Well later never came 2 days later she blew me off for 10 hrs, that's 10 hrs people she has never done anything like that to me before and neither have I ever, so I'm thinking there must be something seriously messed up here but I have to keep my cool because the last thing I want to do is become some psyco boyfriend. Finally after 10 hrs of phone tag and shallow promises of only 45 min and ill be over she calls me and says hey come to a party. So I get there and she's getting into a bathing suit and hops into a jacuzzi and has already thrown a few back. And I walk in thinking after all I was put through today your just going to party and not at least talk to me. So I brush it off and just play it cool all night and she keeps getting the audacity to say "hey whats wrong?" and obviously she knows but does nothing to fix it so long story short (no pun intended for those of you who actually got this far, bless your heart) I say whatever and leave and go to bed. The next day I say she needs to come talk to me because she decided to spend the night at this hotel with all my friends and a few people I don't know, I'm obviously not happy about that, and yet she refuses to talk to me so I say all right I've had enough of being in the dark if you don't want to talk you don't want this relationship so she finally comes to talk and we go on and onand she finally decides she wants to be back with me full time no hard feelings and I agree because I love her more than anything. So there is the whole back story and now its like every other day she is a total b**** to me and on the others she is absolutely in love with me so I'm going crazy because its like she only loves me when she wants to. Bottom line I'm going crazy with stress because of my whole personal life and she sees it but does nothing about it and that's what makes it worse. So I've gotten to the point where I think she still has mixed feelings but doesn't want to talk.
First of all you are the greatest listener ever if you actually read that novel but if anyone has any input let me know but just writing the whole thing down made me feel much much better than just saying it so even if no one actually makes it through my babbling just venting on here was an amzing help. Well maybe ill hear from somebody.
Bye