Is it possible for a women to claim she does not love you but still do.

All the girls that I know who know my ex keep telling me that she is going threw some stuff and has issues. She has a new boyfriend which I have come to accept, but all these girls who know her say it is fake. It is long distance etc. They also said they are moving so fast that it is goingto crash fast as well.

They tell me that they know she will come back and it will be my choice if I wish to give her a chance. They say I shouldn't but they keep telling me she will def. be back andthat she still loves me deeply. We have a son and they just say she wasn't ready then and she isn't ready right now to settle. Then one friend of hers says she is a mess.

Ladies how can she be a mess if she is the one who left me for another man? And I hear she is not as happy as she portrays.. It has been 4 months of no contact. I have gotten a lot better. I have my bad days where this non sense consumes me but I get threw it.

How can she be a mess? I took this a few ways as... She is a mess possibly with out me

She is a mess in regards to the decisions she is making and things she is doing.

Any positive input is appreciated

Well its possible she is regretting leaving you for another man. I am in a situation now where I am torn between a man I have been with for 6 years and a new guy. Reason being my boyfriend doesn't really treat me like I want to be treated but because its been so long that we've been together its hard tol et go and the new guy is exactly what I want... understand what I'm getting at?? Let me break it down for you better... maybe she loves you and wants to be with you but there is something missing from the relationship that she sees in the other guy and this leaves her confused. But at the same time don't put your life on hold or dwell over this. And don't let other people put things in your head. You only live once and unless you put yourself first you will never be happy!! Let me know what happens!!

I agree. But if there was anything missing why wouldn't she talk to me about it. She is a very very impulsive person. Also when problems arise she tends to turn her back and run instead of dealing with them. I mean a week before we broke up she was asking me to propose to her that night. She didn't want me too but she wanted me to do it soon. We have a huge history going back before high school. We are both 25 and I'm not putting my life on hold. I have been doing my normal things. I agree that she is confused. I think she likes the stabillity her new 39 yr old boyfriend gives her. I can give her that just when I'm finished school. Its like she wants it all right now, money, house,cars but she doesn't want to earn it she wants it easy.

I think that you really need to stop analysing the information you are getting from your ex's friends. I really wouldn't even be talking to them at all as a part of the NC. Even if things don't work out with the new guy, how do you know she will come back? Also doesn't it make you feel like her second choice? I think you deserve to be more than someone's backup plan.

I totally agree---you deserve much more than being a persons back up plan!! If she is 25 and runs from her problems she can't be too mature. And if she wants all those nice things then you are right she has to help out for it!! These days you need 2 incomes to live comfortably. Keep living your life, maybe you'll meet someone and then it will be too late for her! And if she is only 25 and he is 39 there is a good chance they may not last------NEVER SETTLE FOR SECOND CHOICE YOU ARE BETTER THAN THAT!!!!

I'm sure everyone has herd this one. But my story is very extrodinary. My first original post on here were not those of someone who was thinking clear. So if you do read them no I was not very emoitionally stable. But truly I know everyone's situation is different but mine is unique is many aspects. And I'm not second best two her. I am her number 1 but she is going threw issues that she has not dealt with in a longtime. Critizize all you like by my situation is unique. If you say I'm a fool for saying I'm her number one then you are ignorant to not know the whole story and history. She is lost and going to hit rock bottom and she needs this as a PERSON not just my girlfriend or future wife. I know her like the back of my hand and I know she needs this time to heal from some events and deal with the harsh reality of being a 25 yr old mom. Im not saying I will wait for this girl. Yes I do love her but that does not mean I have not been on my road to recovery because I am and have been doing so. I've gotten back to who I am and she is trying to be something she is not. Sorry for the poor gramar and I just needed to vent. I no her and she will crash and burn. Then and only then will she realize what she has done. And yes people as much as I love her it is too late. I can't take back what she has done . I have no hate or resentment. I just have my son and that is all I want. She can hate me all she wants for no good reason. It is just too late. But as a person she needs to grow. I feel bad in a way for what she is going to go threw. But we all have to get ove something, hence me writing.


Thx for hearing my dribble..