My ex and I recently broke up. Well, we broke up 2 months ago. We had been together for 4 years, but I did not want to commit for some inexplicable reason. I have done a lot of soul-searching the past 2 months and I realized something was missing that held me back with my ex, but I AM ready to commit to the right person.

Anyway, I feel a need to get out there and at least start dating. I was wondering what are some ways people have managed to meet other people they want to date? I am a 27 year-old female, but I don't really like the bar scene - it is pretty depressing so far. I met up with a couple of guys from MySpace chats, but somehow appearances online are deceiving and I was not impressed. I hesitate to join eHarmony or Match.com for this very reason.

I have a pretty good idea of what I am looking for - a professional man in his late 20s or early 30s that is outgoing, wants to settle down and obviously attractive. Why is this so hard to find? So far I am wishing I would have married my ex - he was a catch compared to the men I have met.

Suggestions, please! Thanks!:rolleyes:

What do you mean by, "Outgoing?" What kinds of things do you like to do in your spare time?
My advise is to go about doing the things you like to do and enjoy and you may just meet someone who's like-minded.

Your inability to commit to your ex may have been your early warning defense system. Nothing wrong with using your instincts! But you both may have grown a little in the last couple of months. Call him and find out...

I would call him, but he already has a new girlfriend. I found out through the grapevine, although he refuses to admit it to me. You think he could be honest after 4 years. He started to date her as soon as I left. So not exactly the type of person I want to be with anyway. If I am not on his agenda, then it's over? Can't marry someone like that!

Well I personally do not recommend phone or computer chats but the right guy will come along when you least expect it whether you meet at your job the grocery store... anywhere

Volunteer somewhere--a hospital, nursing home, animal shelter, public library. You will meet other volunteers who are single or who have single male friends, nephews, sons, brothers, etc. (For instance, I am a library volunteer coordinator and have two unmarried sons in their early 30s. They are looking for the right girl. If you become my volunteer and expressed an interest in meeting nice guys, I would check you out and maybe introduce you to one of my sons.)

Most professional men are looking for an educated woman. Are you educated too? Or, are you interested in a professional man so you can use him for financial stability? Educated men are rarely very interested in women who have not cultivated their minds.

Also, you seem to think in very black and white terms. If your ex is not "willing" to admit to you he has a new girl friend and you "heard thru the grapevine" he's seeing someone, perhaps you should trust him more than "the grapevine." If you dated him for 4 years, didn't you get to know him?

I am thinking you have a significant among of maturing to do before you are ready for marriage. To start with, what does marriage mean to you? What will you be bringing to the marriage? Sex, by the way, is not the answer there. You are much, much better off to not have sex before you marry. That takes maturity too and results in true intimacy and genuine commitment.