I have been going out with my boyfriend for 3 years. At first our sex life was fantastic and regular. It was initiated by both of us. I told him from the start I have a very high sex drive. Over the years it has gradually got less and less. My boyfriend never initiates it now. You're lucky if we do it once a month. When we do have sex it is still the most amazing ever. He says now he prefers quality to quantity. I don't want to sound big headed. But I am a fairly good looking with a pretty good figure and I always make an effort to satisfy him. He is aroused at all the right times and as for cheating, I am 99% sure it's not that. We were both on the receiving end of cheating in our previous relationships. He normally always takes pride in his appearance and is usually a happy guy but something seemed to change all of a sudden a over a year ago. It seems like his confidence has gone somehow. I have tried talking to him but he just says there's nothing wrong. He is not close to his family and he doesn't like his job very much but it pays the bills. He smokes a little pot but it was never a problem in the past.
I really don't know where to go from here? I used to get mad about it because of all the rejection but now I just keep it to myself. Sometimes I just fell like his best friend not his girlfriend.

Hi Ya Hun

Does your Boyfriend talk to you about his problems? Sometimes this sort of problem is down to the guy having a lot on his mind, possibly family or money troubles?

I would maybe sit down and talk to him honestly! Tell him how you feel and try and work it out that way. If anything he will probably appreciate your honest.

Im in a similar sort of situation. But not sex related. Its hard when you love you boyfriend but things aren't quiet right.

There are no quick answers all I suggest is speak to him.

I hope you work it out. If you want someone to talk to feel free to contact me.

Bianca xxx

Look at the pot smoking also, it can make adjustments to the human libido.

Even little use can do this over a long time, I am one who believes in abstaining over use, knowing firsthand the longterm effects.

If this is a concern, try cleaning the system out, say 6 months, and go from there.

Hope this helps,

Ken

I It's hard to say without hearing about you and him.

The first year or so of any new relationship is typically the "bunny sex" period. It's anytime, anywhere, anyhow, and anyplace.

It could be something else, but based on your statement of it always happening on a regular basis at first, makes it sound like he could have move beyond the bunny sex period, but you haven't. Everybody's libido is different even in couples.

Have you and him fallen into "routine" sex where it's getting to be the same old 123 and then you and him are finished, or are the both of you still experimenting with sex?

You've pretty much answered everything else as far as what we might ask.

Aside from what I mentioned above, the pot could be a negative factor he smpkes it and then wants to fall asleep soon after while wanting to skip sex.

There really could be issues with the job, and he says it's nothing, but it could be he doesn't want to discuss it with you for some reason. Perhaps the issues are that he can't discuss then for whatever reason, or doesn't recognize the job is the stress issue and doesn't know how to talk about it. Of course, he may not want to whine to you about his problems because he might feel that you might feel less about him for some reason.

For the most part, all a woman typically has to do is show up sexy eyed and naked and telling a man in a sexy way that “I want that, in here, now.” While pointing to his private parts and then pointing to hers. It sounds crude and over simplified (and probably is for both), but in many cases, it has its lighthearted truth.

All jokes aside, some of the things that can get a typical man uninterested in sex are:
*Too much sex over a period.
*Too much porn and masturbating
*Routine sex, or the same 123 sex every night or day.
*Stress (family issues, work issues, or money issues)
*Constant (self perceived) arguing, nagging, or whining from GF or wife
*Heath issues
*Drugs (legal or illegal)
*Another woman

He smokes a little pot but it was never a problem in the past.
I think this is part of your answer right here. I emphasize your phrase "in the past." Marijuana use has a way of "sneaking up" on people, whereby the harmful effects are not noticed right away but gradually take hold little by little as use continues. Unfortunately, if he continues smoking it, he's going to experience increasingly more and more harmful side effects like sexual dysfunction, weight gain, respiratory damage, loss of cognitive ability, etc. This is how drug users eventually come to be known as what's commonly called a "burn out." Unless he gives up the marijuana now, I really don't see much of a future for or with this guy.

I do not agree it is the pot. I think he is bored. And I say that because I am in a relationship for 4 years and I started to lose my sex drive a year ago. I thought it was from all the smoking I was doing also (10 years everyday) so I stopped and low and behold I still had no sex drive. So I smoked again and started to think hey we do the same thing every time we have sex we start this way then switch to this position then this one and I realized it became a chore and even though it was amazing it was still a chore. So I talked to my girlfriend and said we need to make this more exciting I don't know how, we just do. So one day my girlfriend showed up to my work closed my office door and we went at it. Now I am not suggesting that but catch him when there is supposed to be no chance of having sex and then offer up the idea of having sex right then and there. Trust me it works.

1 more thing to the two posters who say it's the Pot that is the easy answer The fact is I smoke all the time, I have no short term memory loss. Dr says I am the picture of health my weight has not changed since high school and neither have my six pack abs and I am 30. Oh and I have a very demanding job that requires a lot of off the top of the head problem solving. Stop making pot look like the monster it is not.

Hope this helped

Spoken like a person who feels attacked and backed in a corner by their own paranoia and self doubt, so sorry to see your image slammed , but just read your post and look for the pot issues, even by your own words you have a longterm problem,there 'daily smoker',READY?

"...i am in a relationship for 4 years and i started to lose my sex drive a year ago. "

I wonder how many years you had been smoking before this? 10 years you say?(and do you really think it might NOT be related?) You have got to be in denial.

"....so i stopped and low and behold i still had no sex drive."How long did you stop? You know the real answer,don't justify ANYthing to me,I am stating my disbelief of you.

"So i smoked again and started to think..."Started because you saw no return on your vested efforts, which were how long again? Verses how long you built up this THC level in your body?C'mon, get real.

Six-pack abs and a doctors opinion,hmmm, that has you convinced you're the picture of health,, call me in 25 years sonny,when you sound like Richard Pryer and slobber down your shirtfront,

I would love to spar off with you in a pot forum, but, you see, there isn't a category listed in this site called potcentral,, I wonder why?

Ken

Don't get me started on the medical issues associated with pot or alcohol or any other drug (legal or otherwise), because we certainly don't see eye to eye-spitvenom...

Let's not hijack this thread.

If you have FACTS about how pot will affect sex life--great, share them here.

Any other discussion about pot, its other side effects, medical uses, detriments NOT relating to sex life should be taken elsewhere.

Thank you.