View Full Version : Child abandonment
StevenJ
Nov 7, 2007, 10:38 AM
Since my divorce I have lost custody of my child to my ex wife. I am finding out that my child who is 10 years old is left at home by herself every morning so her mother can take the other 2 siblings to school. My daughter is left unattended for approx 20 minutes every morning. What rights do I have in gaining custody of my child back over this issue?
danielnoahsmommy
Nov 7, 2007, 10:41 AM
Speak to an attorney, but personaly, instead of trying to remove the child maybe you can find a solution to the problem
Synnen
Nov 7, 2007, 11:06 AM
I think that your problem using THAT as a lever for custody is that most 10 year olds are just fine by themselves for 20 minutes, especially in their own home.
I was babysitting at 11 (and yes, I know I am old and the world has moved on, but still!)--and that's only 12 short months away from 10.
My bet is that while it's also convenient for your ex, part of what she's doing is teaching your child about being responsible for herself--starting with 20 minutes at a time.
danielnoahsmommy
Nov 7, 2007, 11:36 AM
Steven j. you came here to ask for advice. I gave you advice. You may like it, but I feel that it was not warented for you to give me a reddie. Sorry for your situation.
ScottGem
Nov 7, 2007, 11:45 AM
First, may I call your attention to the guidelines for using the comments feature found here:
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/feedback/using-comments-feature-24951.html
You are imporperly using the comments feature. Unfortunately I can't give Synnen a balancer as I just rated her on another thread.
But I totally agree with what she said, I was about to say the same thing myself. A 10 yr old could easily be capable of taking care of herself for 20 minutes unless there is something wrong with her. You try an make an abandonment case out of that and you will be laughed out of court. Try reporting this to your local children's services agency and they will look at you like you're crazy. Unless there is more to the then you are telling us, you have nothing to stand on. You asked what rights you have in this instance and we are answering by telling you it ain't going to fly.
I can sympathize that you are trying to be part of your children's life and that maybe your ex is putting up roadblocks. If you give us the full story, we may be able to suggest some possibilities. But this abandonment idea is going nowhere.
Synnen
Nov 7, 2007, 11:45 AM
Abandonment n. the act of intentionally and permanently giving up, surrendering, deserting or relinquishing property, premises, a right of way, a ship, contract rights, a spouse and/or children. Abandonment of a spouse means intent at permanent separation, and with children a lengthy period of neither contact nor any support. In maritime law abandonment has a special meaning: when an owner surrenders a ship and its contents to a trustee for the benefit of claimants, particularly after a wreck. If one invents something and does not get a patent but allows others to use the invention or dedicates it to public use, the right to patent is probably abandoned. Confusion arises over abandonment of water rights, mining rights, or rights of way, since mere non-use is not sufficient to show abandonment. (See: abandon, abandoned property, patent)
Take from abandonment legal definition of abandonment. abandonment synonyms by the Free Online Law Dictionary. (http://legal-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/abandonment) The bold is my addition.
20 minutes is NOT abandonment. That's part of growing up. If you want to halve straws with me--would you call it abandonment if she were alone at 17 for 20 minutes? She's still a minor THEN too!
Get off your high horse and get a lawyer if you don't like our advice. I think you'll lose, though, because 10 years old is old enough to be alone at times.
kanicky73
Nov 7, 2007, 11:47 AM
I agree with Synnen, your daughter being left alone for 20 mintues is not abondonment. I'm sorry if you don't like that answer but its not in the eyes of the court. Abondonment would be if she was leaving her home all day long while she went to work. I think what you really need to do here is realize that your so angry with your ex wife that your not thinking rationally. You may not agree with certain decisions your ex makes in regards to your child but if she is not in any real danger, or being abused physically or any other really horrible things, you will have a very very hard time getting custody. The courts realize that people just want to take the child away from the other just to get back at them but it doesn't work that way and the courts make that very clear. You have to prove beyond the shadow of a doubt that your daughter is in severe physical danger. Leaving her at home for 20 minutes is not. I know your probably hating me right now for my answer and that its not what you want to hear but if we all just agreed with you and said yea go for it, hire and attorney and run with it, you would soon be told by your attorney the same thing we are telling you. We don't just pull this info out of our butts, I have gone through a divorce and know this info first hand, as I am sure others on this site do as well. We just want to help, whether the advice angers you or makes you happy.
macksmom
Nov 7, 2007, 06:43 PM
My sister in law has 3 girls... ages 12, 9, and 4... on her fridge she has a print out (now this is in Ohio) but it lists age brackets and what is the amount of time they are lawfully able to be left alone.
I will have to get it tomorrow and post it for you, but I know for a fact that lawfully she is allowed to leave her 12 year old home alone with the 9 year old.
Maybe you should offer to go over and sit with the child for those 20 minutes if it is really bothering you that much about her being alone. Or maybe offer to pay for a part time sitter to sit with your child in the mornings.