Here's WHAT HAPPENED... I was with this guy for almost a year but we were best friends for about four years... he cheated on me.. and well here's his explanations..
He writes first and I responded in the middle one.. How do I respond to the last latter he sent me... Im clueless :(! PLEASE HELP. :confused:



All right I don't really know where to start. What has happened
Between us is really... well sad in a sense. It never should have
Went down like that. Should have ended it after the first mishaps...
And just moved on, but we didn't. We dragged it on further and
Further until the point of no redemption. All we would do is fight.
How are you supposed to have a relationship where you can't even talk
To each other, let alone trust... anyway... about the other girls...
I don't know why you feel its your job to dig up all this about
Me... we were done when most happened and how the did I
Know what you were doing?Im just going to give you the truth straight
Up Its like a bad habit I talk to all these stupid chicks but
Whatever... its not like I gave a about them... I was just a
Drunk partying kid who did dumb... and didn't really care...
All this stemmed out... It was dumb, and its not like I don't regret
Doing all the but I do. BUT, when it comes down to it... I only
Cared about you... and I did. A LOT... and I will always have
Something for you brooke... you're a beautiful girl, who needs to move
On... probably out of turlock... just a suggestion... but if you
Think back... how happy were we at first? It was like fantastic... I
Was at home this weekend and just took a quick glance at all of the
Pictures and stuff... and its just like sad that all this
Happened between us.. I don't know what else to say.. not to mention Imo in
Class right now... take it easy... and keep what we say and do to
Yourself because it doesn't matter anymore and our business is not
Other peoples business...
Send me an email back if you feel like it.
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Do you not understand that I loved you Spencer? I was never that girl to give a guy my full trust and I admit it but when you came around I just feel so in love with you it was crazy and as much as I try to move on I can't ever get that feeling I use to get with you back. I TRY Spencer... I try to talk to other guys and move on, truth is I haven't even kissed anyone since that day at the park with us. I know I deserve better than you Spencer, I heard it from every single person I know or knows you. It's just so hard at the end of the day you know? But how can you say that Im the slut when the whole entire time you know that you played me and you know you were the one doing wrong the whole time and you have it in your heart to call me bad names when really all I do is think about you.. sometimes not even in the I love you way but the whole... you were my best friend way. Do you understand? "I played you, get over it" Like honestly. And you never ONCE told me sorry ever. You wonder why there was no trust.. because you showed me none at all. Just treat your next girl better, promise?
I want to forgive you.. but I want to forget you.

w/b if you wish.
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I loved you too I really did... Probably never have what we did ever again... I know you try to move on and that's what you should... it has been difficult for me as well... I've tried but nothing seems to be the same... we had a unique connection that was lost... I regret saying that I played you that was just said out of outrage and anger... that was dumb and irrelevant to the topic at hand, and I apologize... that's not how I feel about it at all... I felt bad but it just happened... dumb... and I'll never do that to anyone again, I've learned my lesson I guess you could say... but ill never lose the love for you... hell maybe someday you'll forgive and remember... and we can try over... lets just be civil, and adults about the matter... If I'm at home or whatever... and paul or whoever it might be invites you over... I want you to be able to hang out or whatever without being a or anything like just being normal.. because I will be chill about it. When I was at home this weekend I didn't want you to come over because I was trying to just relax and I didn't want my cup ashed in or anything... BUT from now I'm not going to care if your there and you should feel free to hang out with us because we are chill and not white trash hicks.. ha miss ragging on those idiots... heard cody and them are really making a name for themselves hahahahahaha... sorry off topic, just heard about all the dumb that's been going on...
So------- I don't know what else to sayyyyyyy
I wish to one day visit with your mom, get a passion fruit lemonade, and watch Domestic Disturbance... someday

The two of you seem too different. I mean yes you were best friends but if he cheated on you how do you know he won't do it again. Once a rat always a rat. If he has done it once he will do it again. If you stay away from him it will be painful for a little while but stay away from him don't respond to him in any way. Because if you fall for it now you will get in deeper and deeper and just get hurt more. He will cause you more pain than he's worth. Tell him you want no contact with him and that you want to move on. Unless you can see him as your spouse or something along those lines. My advice say no contact any more. I was once in your position and I let him back in. I am deeply scared. Take it from me. Say no contact unless you can see yourself married to the guy for ever.

Well yeah I mean, I do see him as someone I want in my life forever..

It sounds like you had a misunderstanding that got out of hand. Try being friends and see where it goes from there... if you can handle seeing him and not having expectations to be more than friends cause it could possibly just stay friends.

It couldn't stay just friends, I told him I couldn't talk to him anymore.. he came into town and we hungout then I found out that he ended up hanging out with another girl that day! CRAZY RIGHT? Are all men cheats and liars!

Hi Brook, I don't think all men are cheats and liars, problem is you usually don't know if they are until after you've giving them your heart and your complete trust. Then BAM they blindside you like a Mac Truck. I would've never thought my ex would lie to me or leave for someone else. I gave him way more trust then he deserved. I guess that's a good lesson to learn though... TOTAL TRUST IS FOR IDIOTS

I think in his own sick and twisted mind he thinks he loves you. But cheating is not real love. At any rate... I'm gathering that you both are young. And I'm gathering that he wants to see other people, and for you to see other people, and then try again at a real relationship in the future.

I don't think I would write back to him. This way you aren't telling him what he's losing. You are showing him. Go off and do your own thing, and if your paths should cross in the future, which they probably will, then you might have a more clear perspective of what you want to do. In the meantime, just go have fun with your friends.

Also... um duh on him because you were right not to trust him since he did cheat. What a tool. Lol.

Let him stew in his own juice and you find happiness some where else. What do you want with a guy who will lie and cheat on you and put it in writing. You deserve better, and that ain't him.

Hi Brooke.
A short answer to your question: keep your dignity and do not respond to his last email. I've thought about this and couldn't even come up with one thing you say to him other than "goodbye". I am honestly angry on your behalf.

Here's why:
He called you a slut. That's enough to never speak to someone again (especially someone you refer to as your best friend), but that's just me. I will continue... You seem like someone who has a good head on her shoulders. He doesn't. His first e-mail didn't even include an IOTA of remorse. It seemed to me he was justifying his actions (the cheating) by emailing you and telling you how bad your relationship had gotten and how you drove him into someone's else arms. And I also seemed to think he was telling you to leave the town in which you both live? Who does he think he is? The mayor?

No, every man doesn't cheat and every man isn't bad. Some people whose relationships are broken by infidelity are able to bounce back and some aren't. Yours won't, because he doesn't even feel bad about it. That's usually the first step, and he's not even close.

People's priorities are different, but I think everyone would agree that mutual respect is very, very important. This guy has none for you--why would you even think to stay friends with him? Seriously. Who needs a friend like that? If your social life suffers a little--so be it. Trust me when I say it'll be worth it in the long run. Yes, it'll be painful not talking to him anymore but I believe the sooner you get rid of this guy, the better.

Take a deep breath. Delete his email. And don't look back. Good luck.

I am very proud of myself STILL haven't talked to him since! Thanks for the advice everyone!