I grew up in a broken home and have had Anger issues since I was very young. When I was young I often questioned if I was loved and had very sick thoughts. I was also very abusive to my brothers always very controlling I'd also be very manipulative to try and get things I would want.

Now that I'm older it seems my anger is very suppressed and gets triggered easily and sometimes I just explode like a time bomb. And it has affected my relationship with this girl I love so dearly and we ended up breaking up a weak ago because of them. I am very jealous of just about everything to do with her besides her family, this means Guys,friends,her sports at times. I'm also controlling, I try to make her feel guilty, I always have to be right. She told me to get help!

I have nobody to really help me I never really have since I was young. I'm trying to see a therapist at a clinic but they are telling me the wait is 8+months. I've been in treatment for standing on a bridge threatening to jump to scare my mom to get back at her. I have thoughts about ending my life at times but never acted on them.

I notice myself calling people that I don't even know names in my head, I often find myself making fun of people with disorders. I know this isn't me it actually kills me inside I just don't know how to stop it.

I want to get better and I want to stop this control and jealousy. Who should I talk to? Do I need medicine? I've been talking to a christian minister but only just started it seems to help but after a couple days I go back.

I'm also in the military and about to deploy in sept I'm afraid of what will happen to my head while Im over there!

hm.. sounds like me.

Every time you feel tension of anger raising you should walk away and take a breath or 2 maybe even 5. When something angers you really bad to the point where you can't stop thinking about it then go take a nap. Calm yourself.
I think your problem is that since you were young you held in too much anger and emotion. So now you still have much anger locked inside of you from your past and you take it out on the wrong people.
When you make fun of others think about how they feel.What if you had a disorder and someone made fun of you. Yes you probably would want to kick their but it isn't really worth it. You feel sad and upset inside and turn it into anger to hide from it.

I myself have these problems but not as bad. I used to though.

You also could use a good friend to talk to. Don't have one? Talk to me your buddy stranger ^.^ No really I don't mind at all.

Anyway whenever feeling that anger build up go rest or take it out on something like a tree but don't go banging your fist through a wall. It doesn't work. Trust me I know...