In the state of Virginia, can a man have his paternal rights relinquished if woman tricked him into becoming pregnant? What are the rights ( if any) of a man if a woman by questionable means becomes pregnant even when it is not the man's desire to have a child at that time? Because it is her body, she makes all the choices. Does the law offer any answer for women who get pregnant by questionable means?

If you had sex with her, how can you have been tricked?

Unless somehow she stole your semen in your sleep... I'm not sure how you were tricked... sex equals pregnancy.

Because it is her body, she makes all the choices.

This is the main fallacy in your reasoning. The woman doesn't make ALL the choices. The man chooses to engage in sexual intercourse. The man chooses whether to protect himself or not.


Does the law offer any answer for women who get pregnant by questionable means?

This would be extremely difficult to prove. But, as noted before, since the man has some choices, it may not even matter.

Bottomline, NO ONE should engage in sexual intercourse unless they are prepared to have a child.

If u had sex with her using a condom and she emptied the contents of it into herself, then I can see some legal intervention.

If you had sex with her, how can you have been tricked?

That is not the question that needed to be answered. If I wanted a smug answer, I would have consulted a clown. I f you must know, she supplied the condom and admitted she had holes in them. Now can you answer the question with lagality to it??

Can you PROVE it?

Do you have a recording of her saying that?

Will any jury believe you over her?--and remember, courts are basically theatrical productions at times, with the best actor winning. If she breaks down on the stand, and cries, and claims that she loves you, and that you're just BLAMING her because birth control failed--when you KNOW that no birth control is 100%, and so does everyone else--because you just want to get out of child support payments--will they believe you, or her?

Sorry, dear. I seriously doubt you have a leg to stand on. The lesson here is that if you absolutely would not have kids with someone, then don't have sex with them. That's the ONLY way you can be SURE that a pregnancy would not result.

No. There is no such thing as a tricked pregnancy. My ex spouted this bull all the time. It only made him look really bad and it hurt the boys. I even remember several people laughing at him when he said it in the hallway outside the court room. I will give him credit he never said it to the judge but I think it's because he attorney told him not to.

I suggest you stop thinking of it that way, it will only come out in a fight or something and the child could hear. I know how bad it hurt my oldest, who now won't see his father at all, I would hate for another child to feel that way.

Just take a moment and think. Why are you really mad? Is it because this child will change your life and you liked the way it was going? Is It because of the money you now are going to have to pay? Is it because you are now linked to this woman forever? Or is it something like someone finding out you were with her? There are a thousand more questions but I won't list them.

First, may I call your attention to the guidelines for using the comments feature found here:

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/feedback/using-comments-feature-24951.html

I did, in fact, answer your question. By pointing out the fallacy in your logic that the women controls everything and the difficulty in proving such trickery.

But, if you have proof that she gave you a condom with holes in it (you used a comdom from an opened package? ) there might possibly be a case of fraud. And this would be handled under fraud laws since there is no specific law dealing with this issue. However, as the other pointed out, no contraceptive is 100%. There is always the risk of pregnancy. You accepted that risk when you choose to have sex. So a court is unlikely to get past that fact.

Oh by the way, no one was clowning. I think everyone took your question seriously, but saw the same fallacy of logic I did.

I wasn't being smug. No birth control is 100% as mentioned before. You should only be having sex with a woman you would feel comfortable with having your baby. If you want to play, you had better be willing to pay.

I have a link you need to read but first...

Buddy, post in a public forum, get answers you may not like. Signing up and then slamming those who disagree with you is a little childish...

A reasonable person knows that sex, even with perfect, honest use of birth control, can result in pregnancy. We tell our kids if you pull it out of your pants you'd better be ready to be a parent. Holds true to ourselves as well.

Even if you don't want this answer, don't you want to know what a stranger might think? You don't think a jury of your peers would agree with you 100% do you? The best way to win an argument is to face what the opposition has to say. A good lawyer will tell you to never ask a question to which you don't already know the answer.

If she did what you said was she dishonest and potentially fraudulent? Sure. Tough case to prove in court. You'd open the doors for all kinds of litigation if deception during sex became a reason to terminate the rights and obligations of a biological parent.

Could you try to make a case out of this? Well sure you can try. Its been tried before. The fraud angle just doesn't cut it in the courts. Here's a link you'll hopefully find interesting, even if you don't like the answers you read.

FindLaw's Writ - Grossman: "Roe v. Wade for Men"? A Men's Rights Group Makes A Farfetched Claim for Avoidance of Child Support (http://writ.news.findlaw.com/grossman/20060322.html)

Sorry. The courts are unlikely to make a special exception for your special case. If she "tricked" you by lying, its morally wrong. If you thought not wanting children freed you from being responsible for a child conceived by, in part, your actions, again, wrong.

That is not the question that needed to be answered. If I wanted a smug answer, I would have consulted a clown. I f you must know, she supplied the condom and admitted she had holes in them. Now can you answer the question with lagality to it???

I wasn't trying to be a clown, I've really heard of this happening. A girl waits until the guy throws the condom in the waste basket, extracts the ejaculate, and puts it into her birth canal.

If she put the holes in the condom, you would need to prove that she provided them. If you can find one of her friends that she may have talked to about doing this previous to the act that could help.

Thanks for the balancer Synnen ;)

And felamuf1... you should really read the guidelines Scott gave you the link to...

And I was taking your question seriously...

First off, if you want an indepth answer you need to supply an indepth question... we aren't mind readers. You said you were "tricked"... that could have been done a number of ways in your mind... she could have said she was on birth control but wasn't, she could have said she couldn't get pregnant... etc. We don't know the situation, thus can't supply much advice on such a vague question... and you can't go off giving everyone reddies just because you didn't get the answers or advice you were looking for.

Bottomline... you had sex with her. A condom isn't 100% effective, even if holes are not poked in them. You could have supplied your own condom, one of which you knew couldn't have been tampered with.

Pregnancy is an outcome of sex... the only effective birth control is not having sex... period.

Unless you can prove without a doubt that she "tricked" you... there is not much that you can do. And even then, you would probably only be able to take actions against her not the child.

Comments on this post fleamuf1 (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/members/fleamuf1.html) disagrees: I didn't ask for your personal history and I was tricked. You don't expect for women to put holes in the condoms. My question required a yes, you do have rights... or no, you can't do that... get it??

I think you are the one who doesn't get it. Many times we answer questions using examples we personally experienced. Nothing wrong in that. And what we have told you is basically "no, you can't do that". As I said previously, you did not have to engage in sexual intercourse. That was your choice. Being pregnancy is a potential consequence of sexual intercourse, no matter what protections are used, a judge or jury is going to have a hard time getting past that fact. That you relied on the woman to provide you with an intact condom and she deliberately used one with holes in it, might be a mitigating factor if you can prove it. But reasonable behavior would be to watch her open the packet at which time you might have noticed if it was damaged.

You should read the article kp linked to. Its EXACTLY on point and supports the answers you received. But the key was in this sentence:

Before the child was conceived, Dubay and his girlfriend both had - but did not exercise - the same right to avoid procreative behavior.

Once you chose to have sex with her, you took upon yourself the risk of bearing a child. The point here is you were culpable to some extent and that would not help you in a court.