I am a 41 year old woman who has been separated from my husband for more than 2 years. A year or so ago I decided to just stay away from men all together till... well till I'm ready to move on. Now out of the blue I have this terrible crush were I can't stop thinking of this guy. At first it was a great feeling to know I could even feel something for someone other than my ex but now it's beginning to interfere in my work. I swear the butterflies in my stomach are making me sick! I can't believe I'm saying this, but I hate this feeling! I am absolutely not, can't get involved with this guy. Tell me how to make it stop!

Is it somebody that you work with?

Worse than that, it's my superior and fraternizing is a sure way to get myself fired!

I swear I put this in adult sexuality.

Well, part of what you feel is normal - so you know you are like other women - sometimes we cannot help what we feel but we can help what we do with what we feel. That is where you are now. I agree with you - messing with this guy is a quick way to finding a new job. Can you think of something so distasteful and revolting and then associate that with him? That trick worked for me when I was trying to get over my cravings for cotton candy. Sounds too simple but it worked.

Wishing you the very best in kicking this.

You know the feeling will change in time but right now try to look at the pros and cons and hopefully you have far more to lose than to gain. In the mean time don't let your crush spill all over the floor when your at work. Many people have a crush on another in the work place and are able to function appropriately. If you feel that your going to lose it then see a doctor and have him/her put you on a very small dose of atenolol and the crush will take on a more reasonable tone. You'll do fine.

You know the feeling will change in time but right now try to look at the pros and cons and hopefully you have far more to lose than to gain. In the mean time don't let your crush spill all over the floor when your at work. Many people have a crush on another in the work place and are able to function appropriately. If you feel that your going to lose it then see a doctor and have him/her put you on a very small dose of atenolol and the crush will take on a more reasonable tone. You'll do fine.


Thanks for your advice. Today I made a point to concentrate on my job and actually got more work done than I normally would. It also helped that I done as suggested above and focused on a guy who is repulsive to me every time I thought of the guy I have the crush on. I don’t mean to take your advice jokingly and I hope you take no offence but when I read the part about seeing a doctor I couldn’t help but chuckle. I have no idea what atenolol is, but I can just see the look on my doctors face when she ask what the purpose of my visit is and I tell her I need a drug to help me get over a crush. LOL

Here I have crush problem too, whenever I go to gym and I feel like I cannot look away from hot bodies! Anyone know what to do in this situation? :)

I am a 41 year old woman who has been separated from my husband for more than 2 years. A year or so ago I decided to just stay away from men all together till.....well till I'm ready to move on.
Well, it sounds like you're ready.

I am absolutely not, can’t get involved with this guy. Tell me how to make it stop!!
Find a different guy, or find a different job. Aside from the work relationship, is he eligible and unencumbered? Is it possible he has an interest in you as well, or is this your own little secret?

You know the routine, your attracted to someone, but know it can't work so set, and keep boundaries until it wears off, or you can put it in perspective. Stay busy and focus on other things. Could it be you can't face the fact that your finally putting the past behind you, and are ready to move on, and be a healthy human, with real feelings, wants and NEEDS?? Hmmmm!

You know people are never as hot as your imagination can spin it. Your imagination is a powerful thing. Imagine him complaining with a cold. That might do it. No? Okay, associate him with utility bills, when you see him think of a big fat electric bill, it gets bigger every time you fantasize. Turn it off now. Hope that works.

Just so everyone knows I'm mostly over the crush now. I think between the long hours I was working, his sweet smile and just his flirty personality I just let my emotions over come me. Another one in the dust... I like it like that.

"Another one in the dust....I like it like that." Is that from a song?