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cassandrita
Oct 30, 2007, 09:54 PM
Here is my situation,

I am from haitian background and my boyfriend is italian. We have been dating for 8 months now. I come from a family with old values and mentality. My family is putting pressure on me, they want to meet my boyfriend. This situation wouldn't be if I wasn't living at home ( I'm 20yrs university student so cost les $$$$ with the parents for now)

My parents want me to present my boyfriend but I am not ready and my boyfriend seems stressed about the situation. He says that he has never met the parents of none of his ex girlfriends ( he is 27yrs)

I think that 8 months is too early, but they don't seem to understand. I don't want to put pressure on my boyfriend either? What should I do for my family to understand my point of view.

MarkRealEstateConsultant
Oct 31, 2007, 06:26 AM
Here is my situation,

I am from haitian background and my boyfriend is italian. We have been dating for 8 months now. I come from a family with old values and mentality. My family is putting pressure on me, they want to meet my boyfriend. This situation wouldnt be if i wasnt living at home ( im 20yrs university student so cost les $$$$ with the parents for now)

My parents want me to present my boyfriend but i am not ready and my boyfriend seems stressed about the situation. He says that he has never met the parents of none of his ex girlfriends ( he is 27yrs)

I think that 8 months is too early, but they dont seem to understand. I dont want to put pressure on my boyfriend either? what should i do for my family to understand my point of view.
Two sub issues here - 1) your parents' old values and mentality, 2) race and age
I believe you understand that race will be an issue (be it right or wrong), and age - at 20, 7 years difference is a lot.

That said is your biyfriend a student too. The best way to win your parents over to be able to show the virtues of your boyfriend, his career, eductation, ambitions, accomplishments. Show them that he is a solid prospect worthy of dating.

Homegirl 50
Oct 31, 2007, 07:54 AM
I can understand your parents pint of view. There is a big age difference. Are your parents aware he is Italian and not Haitian and will this make a difference to them? Are you and this young man serious or is this strictly a dating thing?
If you are serious and if he is serious about you I would think he would respect that your parents want to meet him.
Given the values of your family and if family values are important to you as well, if this young man cannot respect that, this may be a sign that this relationship won't work.