My ex - the father of my 4-yr old son - will be in prison for (could be) the next 10 years (or more ) I want him to sign over rights to our son. He has been out of our lives for the past 3 yrs. He has been in and out of jail for the past 7 years - before that he was in prison for about 5. I want to start seeing a man that is actually trying to better his life, but is on parole so he cannot have anything to do with my ex. We are both concerned that my ex will try to make things hard on us - meaning control my life yet again. When we were together he was physically and mentally abusive. I want to know what can I do? If I ask him and he just says No - ? What I have read is that it is better (if it came down to going to court) if there is a man who is willing to adopt the children in our life - but the thing is the man that I want to be in our life - can't be in my life because if my ex was to find out he would lie and manipulate and try to get my boyfriend's parole revoked. So do I even have a chance if my ex says no and I get legal help to get his rights taken away - even though I am a single mom?

It's pretty hard to revoke a father's rights completely if he doesn't want to. And since your current love interest isn't a candidate for adoption that makes it even harder. In this case his rights are severely curtailed obviously, but trying to get them revoked completely seems out of the question so I wouldn't even bother trying.

Relinquishment usually occurs as adoption plans are being made. However, relinquishment is sometimes sought where the likelihood of adoption is remote, as where the other parent does not want to relinquish his or her parental rights. If a proposed relinquishment of parental rights is not in contemplation of adoption, under §32A-5-24(C) the court may not allow the relinquishment unless it finds that:

Good cause exists;
CYFD has made reasonable efforts to preserve the family; and
Relinquishment is in the child's best interest.
A parent who relinquishes under this subsection remains financially responsible for the child and the court may order the parent to pay the reasonable costs of the child's support. §32A-5-24(C).



Child Welfare Handbook - Chapter 22 - Termination of Parental Rights (http://jec.unm.edu/resources/benchbooks/child_law/ch_22.htm#22-2)